Hideaway Strath There's another side that you don't know

@Kynareth Deagon

She had left the boys sleeping in a pile within the den after a particularly rowdy romp session. She knew they would be out for a while, and she took the opportunity to have some time to herself. It wasn't often that she spent any time without kids attached to her, so she had learned to savor these moments when they were asleep and everything was quiet. 

She stopped to stretch in the patch of warm sun outside the den, a large yawn parting her lips. Then she trotted off in the trees, making sure never to go far enough that she couldn't hear or scent anything going on near the den. 

She knew there was a stream near, and she made her way there, stopping as her feet touched the water to take a drink. Then she walked over to the large tree whose branches stretched out over the water; she liked this tree for some reason and often perched below it to enjoy the quiet sounds of the forest. She had brought the boys here may times, as well, and she could relax knowing that if any of them woke, they would follow her scent here. 

Until then, she closed her eyes and concentrated on her surroundings in an attempt to quiet her always busy mind.

Kyn came back from his business trip to Teya’s pack, Brechliant, so many thoughts on his guilty mind. The fight he had with Nyra, the promise he made to Simmik not to fool around with anyone for the time being, and what he’s being doing with Teya. He’s never truly felt guilty about many things in his life, but the fact that it’s Simmik, he definitely does. 

So he takes his last few steps into the territory and instantly heads for their den. Head hunt evenly between his shoulders and ears pressed back, he already knows this isn’t going to go well. He’s afraid he’s going to lose her and if he ever did he doesn’t know what he’d do. 

When he gets there he finds his pups all passed out in the den, but no Simmik. With a quick sniff around he finds her scent trail and follows it closely by. Then his eyes meet her; so beautiful lying beneath an oak tree with the sun beaming down on her. Everything is so peaceful and he knows he’s about to completely ruin it. 

So as he walks up to her, keeping the same posture she’d instantly know there’s something wrong. Plus he’s accompanied by new scars, the ones still scabbing over from Nyra. Four deep marks from her canines; two diving down the left side of his forehead just hardly missing his eye and two rising up his cheek, plus the little marks in between from her smaller, but still sharp, front teeth. 

“Simmik, darling,” He begins softly, moving up beside her and gently nudging the crown of her head. “I need to talk to you. I fucked up and I know you’re not going to be happy with me.” He confesses solemnly.

She knew he was close—nothing could hide that scent from her. It made her heart skip a beat even now after all this time. 

Her eyes opened as his steps grew close, and then she saw him. Her heart fell into her stomach. She knew that look on his face—the guilty position of his ears. She knew he had done something she wouldn't be happy about. Her mind got to work then, swarming her with awful things he might have done to make her upset with him. Simmik straightened and tensed, the relaxed look on her face quickly switching to something cold.

She watched him approach, not saying anything. When his words came, she stared at him for a few moments before answering. Go on then, she told him, her tone impatient and angry. How had he fucked up now?

He can already tell as she tenses and moves up from her relaxed position that he’s going to get it. Either a tongue lashing or a physical one. He mentally prepares himself for her anger, but the way she tells him to continue makes him feel worse and worse by the second. 

God, he’s so fucking selfish. He doesn’t deserve her, she’s too good to him, but he wants her — needs her, would die without her. 

So he sighs and takes a cautious step back just in case. Even though it wouldn’t save him from her fury if she does decide to get physical with him. He doesn’t meet her eyes for a moment, but he almost feels like it’s disrespectful not to. So he looks at her fleetingly, before finally confessing.

“Simmik I -“ He starts but has trouble finishing. “You told me not to mess around with anyone, but I did.” He looks up to her with such raw guilt in his golden eyes, wincing at the pain from his scabbed over wounds. “I’m so sorry darling, I - I-“ He stammers uncharacteristically over his words as he feels her anger grow exponentially. “I’m selfish, I’m a piece of shit, I’m sorry. Please, baby, I don’t want to lose you.” He practically grovels at her feet with those words but he knows they probably won’t save him. It’s worth a try.

She had been so preoccupied with her anger at first that she hadn't noticed his wounds. But when she did, she was angry about that too. Only she could put marks on his skin. She needed to know who had done this to him.

But that train of thought was put on hold for now as he told her what he had done. He was guilty, but then he always was. He begged her. She just stared coldly at him as her heart filed with hurt and betrayal. How could he claim to love her and continue to break his promises to her. Why wasn't she enough to keep him satisfied. She clenched her jaw and pushed away the self pity. No. she wouldn't allow him to turn her into the weak, crying girl she had once been. That was the old Simmik and she was gone—buried deep within her mind under darkness and trauma and the need to be strong and powerful. 

She wouldn't let him take that away from her. For all her trying, hurt did flicker in the depths of her fiery gaze for a brief moment before she pulled her icy mask firmly in place. 

She didn't know whether to laugh or scream—the feelings battled within her and made the world feel fuzzy around her. But she stood anyway, looking at her husband with fury. She lunged forward and aimed to tear a chunk from his face. Then she sat down and spit fur and bloody flesh on the ground at her feet. She couldn't speak yet, but that felt pretty fucking good.

He wants to shrink down into the ground as her fiery gaze burns him like no fire ever could. So many emotions flashing in her beautiful eyes and they’re all horrible — all because of fucking him. The woman he has pups with, the woman he’s been pining after for so long and he finally got her, the woman who loves him and has given him so many chances, but he just keeps fucking up. What’s wrong with him? 

When he sees hurt flicker in her eyes, that’s when he loses it. Sinking further down to the ground, ears laid back submissively, he actually tries to crawl towards her.

And then there’s pain. 

She moves towards him so fast that he can’t even register what happens until it’s happening. Her teeth are bared and her eyes are cold yet hot with blinding fury. All Ky can do is scrunch up. His body, his face and take the hit. And he fucking takes it alright. Her teeth snap right into his muzzle, probably would’ve gotten his cheek instead but he flinched. They cut horribly deep and shred the left side of his whiskered lips and cuts diagonally across his nose. Teeth even clack together for a second and he feels a searing hot pain in his gums, lip, and nose, and chin. Blood instantly blooms and drips from his maw and he hunches his head forward when she pulls back and spits out some of his fur carelessly. 

Fuck. 

His bloody tongue falls from his mouth as he pants, he can’t breath out of his nose and he swears she’s broken it a bit. Plus the blood from the black leather of his nose drips too heavily to inhale and he finds himself choking on it when he tries. 

Instantly he falls to his side and exposes his belly to her in complete submission. The blood that was running in a stream down his muzzle and chin now falls to the left over his cheek, face, and neck. He doesn’t dare say a damn word. Only lies there softly, guilty, almost expecting another hit.

She hated the submission. Fucking hated it. He didn't actually mean it. He was only trying to pull pity from her but there was none left to give. She liked the damage and pain she had caused him, though. She hoped it scarred so that he could always remember this moment. 

She stared down at his display with disgust. Get up, she told him coldly. I don't want submission from you and I don't have any pity for you, she continued. She wanted to tell him to get out of her sight. She wanted to tell him that she didn't want him anymore and to find someone else to put up with his shit. But she couldn't. The thought of him loving someone else filled her with murderous jealousy. She fucking loved him no matter how much he hurt her because she was just as messed up as he was. She knew she could never turn away from him. He was hers forever, and she would pile bodies beneath her to prove that. She could make him suffer for a while, though.

If you truly love me, you'll figure out a way to fix this, she told him. Until then, don't even think to touch me. She couldn't bear the thought right now. She was too disgusted with him. I have given you three strong sons and sacrificed some of my freedom to raise them into strong men. How dare you disrespect me in such a way. She glared at him. What is wrong with you?

While he sinks down onto his back, Simmik stands tall and stares down at him with disgust. It makes him really know he fucked up and he fucked up bad. There’s no mercy in her gaze for him now; no pity either. He’s all on his own on this one and there’s no going back.

Then she growls down at him and her words actually shock him. He flinches as if he’s been slapped right in the kisser. He scrambles to follow her order, moving his limbs that feel too heavy for his own body. He continues to shallowly pant as he hunches over, blood still dripping from his maw. 

Her next words cut even deeper than her teeth. He needs to fix it. He doesn’t know how — holy fuck he has no idea how. He’s cocked up so viciously bad he can’t even think straight. Especially when she mentions their pups and his brows turn up guiltily. 

How dare you disrespect me in such a way? What is wrong with you?

He tries to resist sinking further into the ground at that question. He knows she expects him to answer, but he doesn’t have one clue as to what to say. He’s quiet for a second, unsure if she even wants him to answer — scared of what she’ll do when he does. What if she doesn’t like what he says? He knows anything he does say wouldn’t be enough for her right now, they both know it.

“Simmik I-“ His voice is cracked whisper. “I will do anything you say — anything you want.” He’s already said that once before. The last time he fucked up. “I’ll find a way. I can’t lose you, baby. You know I can’t. I- I don’t know what I’d do if I did.” 

At this point he already feels like he’s said too much. He’s just spewing out words, but — god — does he mean them. He would do anything she asked and more and this time he’s not fucking around. He’d even go as far as to cut his own balls off, but he needs those — for her specifically. So finally he goes completely quiet, awaiting another lashing of words to his already broken and battered ego.

As always, his words sounded so sincere, and maybe he really did mean them in the moment, but she knew when it really came down to making the decision, they were just another empty promise. Part of her heart ached to just accept what he said and move on, but she was too angry and he had messed up too many times. You've said that before, she told him, holding his gaze, her own still cold and judgmental. You say you love me and can't live without me, but those words are empty when there are no actions to match them. It was all so exhausting.

You haven't completely lost me yet, she told him, although her tone implied it wasn't off the table yet. Of course she considered leaving him, but she didn't think she actually could go through with it. Still, she had the children to think about, and she wouldn't bring this shit into their lives. I'm still your wife, but in title only for now. The children and the rest of the pack don't need to know how close you are losing me. She shrugged and stood. Besides, being your wife gives me power I wouldn't have otherwise. She was trying to hurt him now, just like he had done to her. Prove that you love me and don't want to lose me, and maybe I'll change my mind. She stared coldly at him from where she stood, waiting for him to accept her punishment.

The brindled brute knows he can’t prove to her with his words that he won’t fuck up again — he has to show her. And that’s exactly what she’s telling him right now. 

…those words are empty when there are no actions to match them.

She’s not wrong and boy does he know it. He would have to show her. He’s not above groveling and he’d do anything he needs to do to prove it. 

Then her next words terrify him. It shows in the way his eyes widen a fraction and his brows turn up. A look of intense worry overcomes the brute. The important part is that he hasn’t lost her yet, but it doesn’t make her words any less painful for him. 

Besides, being your wife gives me power I wouldn't have otherwise.

He’s both surprised and not surprised by those words and she’s definitely right. He’d let her get away with just about anything and he’d be useless to stop her. 

With her final words, Kynareth lowers his gaze for a few seconds. Practically in awe over what she’s said, it really is an eye opener. He actually can’t fuck up anymore and if he does he doesn’t even want to know what she’ll do then. When it comes to Simmik, he’s deadly serious about not wanting to lose her, he just has to actually prove it. Grovel and beg at her feet, present her with spontaneous gifts, be there for her and the kids pups, and just be a decent fucking person — which is honestly hard for him, but not with Simmik. 

When he looks back up at her he has little to say, except a soft, “I will darling. I’ll do whatever I can to prove it to you.” His eyes mean it. His voice means it. He means it — he cannot lose her.

She stared silently at him for a few long moments, her normally fiery gaze ice cold with fury. I'll believe that when I see it, she told him, tone icy to match her eyes. 

She turned from him and took a few steps before pausing and looking at him over her snowy shoulder. And you can sleep outside tonight, she added. I don't want you beside me in the den. She wanted to punish him in as many ways as possible. 

She turned again and trotted off back to the den; she needed to check on the boys.

Her gaze is so cold when she looks at him and her voice is no different. He wonders if this is what it’s like to catch her ire and not her love. Of course he’s caught both before, but not like this. No, no, this time, she’s much different. She’s not fucking around anymore and Don can tell. 

So she turns away from him, he stands there awkwardly, ears pressed to the back of his neck and curled tail hanging oddly at his hocks. Until she turns her head towards him. Revealing to thee lover that he will be sleeping outside until she says otherwise. He sighs softly, he doesn’t say anything, but he nods in acceptance.

After he would follow her to the den, deciding to flip down onto the ground a meter outside the den with his back towards her. He can’t look at her right now or he might cry. So he lies there, listening to the occasional snore of the pups and Simmik’s shuffling. He loves her and he will do anything to prove it to her.