Swiftcurrent Creek So don't say I'm not ready, back off with those knives.

Etienne tried to keep his equilibrium. He couldn't tell Suzu of the new darkening and stabbing of his heart. How could he? When she had brought new life into the world.

So he swallowed it. He took all that pain and all that fresh raw sadness. And he stuffed it down down down. And he kept busy as promised.

He searched for herbs. He hunted. He gave wide berth to the female Arlette's den and her. She had made him feel inadequate when she had come to help his sister. When he had told her he knew. She had still explained. And given his raw beating heart that was bleeding. He took it personal. And it made him angry.

Angry that he had changed so much because he could not have the love he wanted. And it made him sick that he wanted it so badly. He should move on. He should just forget. Because Anselm had told him he did not want him, that he was not the way Etienn was. And still Etienne pined and he pleaded. And he was a fool. He was a fool.

He found himself in the nearest river bend and he bent to the task of fishing. These waters were easier than the oceans he had come from. And he threw himself into the work. Crayfish and fish. They lay in piles around him as he dove back into the deep river.

To forget. Always to forget