Moonspear and like the wind, they rise and fall

pretty backdated to be just after that really sad ass thread.... anyway.... !!! (for if u wanna come be vague with me lil bro for a bit while i deal with all this)

Nothing was ever going to be the same. It hadn't been long yet.. this he knew absolutely as he wandered through the haze that came afterward, only once he had finally been able to pick himself up enough to go on in autopilot. A light was gone for him, two of them. Suddenly--without warnings he had been able to perceive--and with such an awful finality that no part of him had been prepared. He stuck by the feeling even now that the dust had settled and he had done his sobbing into their furs and bloodied scene--whining and whispering everything he forgot to tell them and how much they had meant to him. Now he only felt like some empty husk, exhausted, and just plain sad as he drifted over the nearby slopes.. on guard, hurt, and ruminating.

It was peculiar to him how the sadness of this magnitude of this had drawn some of his siblings back to them.. yet even Revui remained absent, evidently seeing fit to leave just before this went down. In truth, he was jealous of him for this ignorance, same with Yami and Korei too even. They had no idea what had just happened here, and what their world had lost. He didn't understand how it had worked out this way, but he was grateful for the returned presences even if the timing was brutal on their behalf.. so that was a large part of why he was leaving the sisters (the trio especially) alone for now as he loitered near to be sure many others had dispersed, or at least done what they needed to do by now.

He knew vaguely enough that @Arcturus had not been far, too. Maybe he shared the sentiment, or could with a little help from him. Jarilo only knew he couldn't leave them there.. it was too low, too sparse, too.. unsettling now. He had to do something, and sooner would make it better--or waiting would make it impossible, he didn't want to really imagine; it was awful either way. The ideas were half-formed still, and the gumption to actually do anything was not quite all there yet either, but he had to--for the sake of his noble parents, he wasn't going to rest knowing they just lay rotting in the open like carrion so someone had to, and he had somehow stepped into that role.

Jarilo could faintly smell distant rains, and urged by this, he turned in earnest down the last stretch of trail leading towards where they had fallen. All the while, he went trying to steel himself for what was the next step.. and one he dreaded outright.

<3

he knew what must come next. it did not make bearing his grief any easier.

he bore it like a cross strapped to his back, with thorns edged inward. each step closer towards them was a step closer to finality; the thorns dug deeper, welting.

he could not think of it - of them - not there. not alive. his throat burned and his head swam in murky fog, choking thought and breath alike.

but it must happen -- this reality had to be reckoned with. no amount of disbelief or headshaking or begging or denial would make it not so. no amount of pleading, hoping, or praying would make it all go away.

it was like something some brilliant author had once said:

"knowing someone isn't coming back
doesn't mean you ever stop waiting."

they were not coming back. arcturus knew as he stepped behind jarilo that this would be the last he ever saw of his parents. he and jarilo would be the last souls to ever witness them -- and then, when he and jarilo died, would not the memory of their parents die with them?

he could not help the morbid thoughts that stole around him like a dark python; instead he focused on the timeless rise and fall of jarilo's hocks, a zombie bereft of any sense or feeling as he gravitated towards what must be done.

they were not coming back.

Every step carrying him closer felt heavier as dread pulled back, making duty twice a weighty as it needed to be and so, he was utterly miserable. He had come as bravely as he could.. although he knew, without an ounce of doubt, that this was an ugly foe to face. Somewhere along the way, he lost track of the mantra in his head, the one about what he had planned and it went jumbling into a panicked stream of thoughts, only barely contained, into one royal mess. He just didn't know if this was right but..

He didn't break his stride but his ear swung back, and confirmation came quickly. Arcturus. Was he ever glad to see him, but almost horrified extra on his behalf in the very same instance. Maybe it was fitting it be them, the remaining sons, most dutiful and here to secure the mountain. If only Revui could surface from the shadows now too to help as well, then this could really count as a procession would. However for now, it was just going to be between the two of them, so it was about to be time for some interesting brother bonding time with things getting awfully close to where it had gone down.

Jarilo felt the need to explain, though knowing their lot as well as he did, it was probably more him being mouthy and them already having sensed the intent, or shared it anyway at least. I can't leave them there, he voiced aloud, only partly over his shoulder in a gritty, tired voice. It wasn't right and he wasn't going to rest knowing about it, so he had to. I.. I have an idea but it's... up, further in. He couldn't help but wince; he felt bad for wanting this at all--because why? It was pointless. They were dead? Scavenger pickings, then worm food, even if he hated it with his every single fiber. But he couldn't accept that.. not for them. I can't leave them down here. he practically repeated, but then with the matter that really got to him. Too low, too not right. In his days bothering them both, he had come upon them in plenty of better places than this.. and he didn't want this to have to be the very last one, one literally painted with their blood.

they drew close, and a new weight tied itself to arcturus' paws. he gave a weak smile in jarilo's direction as his brother first took note of him. what sorry, sorrowful circumstances drew them near. circumstances arcturus wished ought never have happened at all.

he knew what must be done, too -- in that dreadful, morbid way it had been his first question. not who leads? or where do we go from here? but rather -- where do i bury them?

where do i bury them? gods, what an awful, hateful question.

jarilo could not leave them there. neither could arcturus. he could not bring himself to look upon this fractured ground as the place both his parents had met their end (how could you be so selfish?) and while he knew that all things returned to dirt, the idea of his parents being carrion food caused grief to rise anew in his throat. he nodded, stalwart but unspeaking -- if he spoke now, he would cry.

so, don't speak.

like a mournful silhouette arcturus nodded dumbly, and followed jarilo in thudding steps.

His younger brother's silence was no stranger, but he knew how to speak those languages, even if he was far more prone to letting his mouth vent than they were. He understood. Near a waterfall I know they liked.. there's this tiny cave, I think we can.. Jarilo tried to explain in a wilting voice as they closed in, obviously distracted by this, and the horrors of what was next. He would show Arcturus where he had in mind. He believed they could block it off.. mark it, something more dignified than rotting in the open. Something he could do later, once he could function past this--getting them there, so they could move on, had to happen first though. They were going to share a grave, he would see to that, but it would not be out here.

It was awful. He felt so hollow, so absolutely eviscerated by the grief and the happenings of the last while. When at last he thought he found the end, it just kept going. He smelled the stale blood of his parents, soon saw it on their ground and bodies. It was a mechanized jog that wasn't really his that finished the last distance between their first son, and their last embrace.

He couldn't stand to see it and with it, their peace was said. He couldn't, and his face was sopping wet with tears he didn't realize fell and hackles were up tall, anxious still so close to them, vacant and unnatural as he knew them. He reached shakily for his mother's spiked scruff and wrenched her aside with a horrible gasp of his own. Everything about it felt so wrong. He wasn't meant to--undoing this was not his place. He hated to do it to them, just as much as he hated that they had done this to them.

The wounds, the blood, the mangled remains... he definitely looked too long, but up close.. he had to, desperate for some deeper understanding where it was only exactly what it had always looked like: this was what they were made of. Feeling grim, he studied them both, then Arcturus somberly.

It was difficult at first to tell what was their doing, and the mountain.. but in places he could begin to understand, and wanted to believe he saw their intent there too. However he did not need to see his father's face so broken, literally smashed apart, or his mother's chest torn as deeply as that, yet even in these twisted final moments, he could sense their utterly chilling absolution. They had meant this.

He then whined low, and did his best to gather Amekaze's body with himself--dissociating entirely for the process, and consumed with duty only for there was no real plan, other than that it had to be done, so it would get done somehow, someway, no matter how long it took him to do it. When it was as good as it was ever going to get in this miserable procession, he set on.

feel free to fade if you wanna  since it is a lil older and i'm happy to be v a g u e <3