Neverwinter Forest Round these parts

After the Cupid thread but before the Aibreann one!

Yeah. That had gone really well. He'd tried to pretend like the last part of the day was pretty normal, but by the time he got back to his little corner of the forest (early) he was just completely emotionally wiped. He thought it wouldn't be a big deal. Why was it a big deal when Cupid hadn't shown any interest in him ever? What had he missed? If that had gone so badly, then what was he going to say to Hua? He didn't want to lose her too.

He was exhausted but restless, a great combination, just laying there being this hollow shell of himself and hoping it would go away. He was already debating just not being here tonight so he didn't have to see @Simmik, but his waffling was going to be his undoing if he kept it up much longer. What did it mean for himself? Mal was great at being a disaster and not much else.

She returned to the den later than normal only because she had been exploring outside the territory that day. She had no idea what had happened between Mal and Cupid yet, and so she ad no idea what she was walking into. She half expected him to already be asleep by the time she got there. 

But he was very much awake as she entered the den, and she could tell something was up. She paused briefly and offered him a smile in greeting. Hey, she offered as she moved to her normal place next to him. She settled on the ground quietly, wondering if he would even tell her what was bothering him after their last conversation. She had been a wealth of seemingly unwanted advice, and she figured he would probably never want to talk to her about anything again. He had been quiet after that talk too, but things had seemed normal between them recently, so maybe she was wrong. 

You okay? she asked hesitantly anyway, unable to stop herself from checking despite her wariness.

Simmik did eventually come back. He couldn't bring himself to do anything, to look over, twitch his tail or anything. He was just some sort of collapsed furry rock. Give him ten minutes and he'd find himself uncomfortable and move again but not right this instant. I talked to Cupid. It didn't go well. And now he hates me for real probably. He'd been honest, apologetic, and patient and everything and nothing worked. He got yelled at. And now what was Cupid going to do? Take Caerus? Poison Caerus against him? At least he'd gotten to talk to his son before leaving, but it still felt in danger of never seeing him again. The future might end up making that the other way around, but at least right now he didn't know that. 

He'd made progress, and then destroyed it. And he didn't expect to be this torn up about it, but here he was.

She winced at his word. She was afraid that might happen, even if she hoped for an outcome where everyone was happy and understanding; she knew life was never that easy or fair, though. It sounded like things had gone the absolute worst way possible, and she couldn't help but feel like she was partially responsible for his hurting right now. Yeah, he had made his choices, but she had pushed him to talk to everyone and be upfront about everything—she had meddled because she cared about him, and now things were even worse. 

She touched her nose to his shoulder to try and comfort him. I'm sorry, Mal, she offered softly. Maybe he'll calm down after some time and feel less angry about everything, she suggested. She didn't know Cupid very well, but maybe once he had some time to think things over, he might be more accepting of everything. 

Can I do anything to help? she asked hesitantly. She knew there was probably nothing, but she had to offer.

He thought the whole thing would be so minor. He thought maybe Cupid would be a little mad but it wouldn't be a big deal. There hadn't been a sign that made Mal expect anything other than that. A broad shrug. He looked over to Simmik. And despite her comfort, it didn't do much to repair the wounds he felt. Hell, he hadn't expected to feel this awful about it either. It hadn't really hit him until later, but at least right now he wasn't sure if he'd ever get Cupid back on his side.

What about Caerus? Was his son even going to be around in the morning? I don't know. I -- what if he leaves? Why didn't he say anything before? Why did he always act like he didn't care? That was what hurt and was the most absolutely confusing to him. What had he missed? Really, how badly did he destroy things? Had Cupid actually liked him? Mal was no good at subtle things, and he'd been honest to Cupid the whole time, guilty only of just omitting things that he thought weren't going to be of interest. Why didn't Cupid just say something? It wasn't fair.

She wanted to tell him that Cupid leaving and taking Caerus was absolutely not going to happen, but how could she promise him that when the same thought scared her too. I don't think it's easy for people to always say how they feel, especially when things are complicated, she told him, neither confirming or denying his fear that they might leave. Hopefully, Cupid wouldn't be so petty; he had every reason to be upset, but to take Caerus away, knowing how important he was to Mal would be really shitty. 

I can go by in the morning to check things out if you want, she offered. She didn't know if she should stay out of things now or what, but she couldn't just wait around for things to unfold. At the very least, she wanted to try and talk to Cupid so she could try and get an idea of how he was felling—maybe talk him out of leaving if that was where she thought his plans were headed.

But it had all started bubbling back up again when Simmik had come back. All the thoughts and feelings he thought he'd burned through before she'd gotten here suddenly fresh again because she hadn't known. He hated this scenario so very much, it made him hate himself even though he could have known what would have happened. And he hurt. And it hurt worse than other betrayals because it was his own doing.

Sorrow and anguish at imaginary lost chances tormented him. His short reply was raw and furious at himself, And so I didn't know and I ruined it. Mal turned his head sharply away from her, unable to even consider looking her in the eye. He didn't respond to her offer -- yet at least -- partially because here he was trying to hold his crumbled self together and for the moment that was plenty.

Regardless of how much of this was his own doing, she couldn't bear to see him hurting so much. And when it came down to it, she knew he really hadn't intentionally hurt anyone, he had just made some mistakes, which everyone did sometimes. She hesitantly moved closer, unable to just sit there and watch him be so upset. There was no way you could have known, she countered. You can't read minds, and it's not like you did any of this on purpose. She pressed her head against his shoulder, offering comfort and support. She wasn't sure if he wanted her this close considering her part in all of this, but she couldn't help it. And if he wanted her to back up, she would. Whatever he needed from her. She didn't press him any to answer her offer; if he wanted her to check on things, she would. And if he wanted her to back off and bud out, then she would try really hard to do that. She hoped he would at least still talk to her about stuff, though. She watched him from where she was offering nuzzles to his shoulder, ready to move back if he wanted or stay where she was and listen more.

He didn't know how to deal with any of it -- he'd never learned, never been taught, and that made it overwhelming. When Simmik first touched him, there was a slight twitch but nothing else. He stayed quiet, facing away, unmoving. Eventually he drew in a breath sharply and slowly let it out, but that was all.

When Mal did speak after a moment or two more, his voice wavered a little, quiet. It might be good.. If-- if you went by. But he didn't look back around -- or even move. He knew he'd have to do something eventually, and maybe that was why he was starting to feel like he should just run off. It was a weird split feeling between wanting to be with someone and wanting to be alone. How did he sort that out?

He was quiet for a few moments; he didn't speak or acknowledge her affection with anything other than a small twitch. She wondered if there was anything she could do to make him feel better. He seemed so upset, she worried nothing she could do or say would help.

He drew in a deep breath and pushed it out, and she pulled back a little to look at him. Then he told her it might be good if she went by and checked on Cupid. Yeah, of course I will, she told him. Whatever you need; I'll go by in the morning and see if he needs anything. And see if he was still there, but she left that part out; she didn't want to remind him. 

But right now, do you want to go for a walk or something? she asked. She didn't know what else to do.

Yeah, it hurt. And it probably would continue to do so and likely be dredged up again when Cupid woke up. He still didn't understand. Would he ever? It wasn't like Mal knew. Instead he sort of nodded before replying quietly, Thank you. But he still didn't really move beyond that.

Mal gave her suggestion some thought, dragging it into a bit of silence again. I think.. I think I might go see Aibreann. See her, see his children. Even if their relationship wasn't the most standard thing, it might be nice to pretend that it was some idyllic thing tonight. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate Simmik, more that he just needed something slightly different right now. Well, that and he didn't want Simmik to have to deal with him like this. 

He didn't move yet though.

No problem, she offered, touching her nose to his shoulder. 

and to his request, she nodded. Yeah, sure, she answered. Maybe seeing her and the kids will help take your mind off things, she added. That was probably why he suggested it. I'm fine here, and I'll go check on Cupid in a few hours. She stood and stepped back. Offering him another smile and waiting for him to take his leave. She probably wouldn't be able to sleep; she would just wander the borders instead and then go check on Cupid as promised. 

can probably wrap this one up too!

Why did things always have to go so wrong? He still didn't know. He didn't think he deserved this treatment at all. He looked to her, nodding, and then after another moment or two longer, he finally pulled himself to his feet. 

But before he'd go, he gave Simmik a sort of half-hearted friendly headbutt of sorts. It was about all he had the energy and will to do. 

After that, he turned and trudged off towards Aibreann's den.