Sun Mote Copse Not your Barbie girl, I'm living in my own world

All this rain was just

The

Freaking

WORST.

Alyx, usually so upbeat and flawlessly clean, was reduced to frustrated tears. The ground was so wet that no matter where she went or how carefully she walked, it was only a matter of time before she had conspicuous splatters of mud on her beautiful coat. Her legs were routinely coated past her ankles. She'd taken to walking around a little bit like a whipped dog wearing booties for the first time ever, shaking her paws every few steps and sporting a perpetual grimace.

She took shelter from the incessant rain under the overhanging bough of a particularly impressive tree, staring dourly out at the downpour and slicking her ears so far back that they practically disappeared.

The rain really was coming down, wasn't it? Phox had noticed, that was for sure, and when he caught sight of Alyx taking cover under a tree, he couldn't help but join her. -Hey munchkin, how you holding up?- he asked, even though it was clear by the look on her face and the mud that clung to her feet and legs that she wasn't holding up very well. She had never liked rain; Phox had learned that early on when he'd splashed her with some. He couldn't imagine how miserable she must be with all this downpour.

Phox followed her gaze out to the rain momentarily before returning his attention to her. Jeez, she had grown. One moment she was a little thing, and now she was... well, she was gaining on him, to say the least. It was hard to believe almost half a year had passed since she and her siblings had come into this world. It felt both so long ago and also as if it were yesterday.

Miserable didn’t begin to scratch the surface. Alyx had never felt so many negative emotions in tandem before. Irritation with the inevitability of being dirty in this weather. Frustration that nobody else seemed to mind it like she did. Resentment that her siblings found ways to enjoy this. Hopelessness, above everything. The list went on and on, drowning most of Alyx’s good nature under a deluge of disturbing feelings.

It was evident in the way she side-eyed her father and sidled a step away, fearing that he was going to splash her again. He’d never seemed to take her mud phobia seriously. He hadn’t given her any reason to suspect he was going to try desensitizing her again, but all that negativity swirled together into suspicion. It was so uncharacteristic of her that when she realized how tense she was, she was filled with guilt. Phox didn’t deserve reticence from his daughter, no matter the weather.

When’s it gonna stoooop? she whined, facing him and finding she could almost look into his face without craning her neck.

She was tense, but Phox chalked it up to the rain and mud, not his own presence there. Good thing he didn't have a guilty conscious (or any real idea that he'd actually helped in creating this "quirk" of hers). She asked when it was going to stop, and Phox pursed his lips, looking up at the grey, raining sky for a moment. -I really don't know. I don't think anybody does. Wish I had better news, but them's the breaks.- It occurred to him that, as often as he'd heard and even used that phrase, he didn't actually know what it meant.

-What I do know, is that once it's all over, I'm going to sprawl out on a rock under the sun until I'm bone dry.- Phox didn't mind the rain, but there was something to be said for enduring it for days, which had now turned into weeks. -When the rain stops, maybe you and I can go looking for the biggest, most perfect rock to use.-

She’d always thought her parents knew the answer to every question. It was disappointing, and a little enlightening, to learn that even Phox didn’t know when the rain would let up. She studied him a beat longer, searching for telltale signs that he was pulling her leg, but when Phox continued, Alyx slumped her shoulders.

At least Phox had a pretty solid plan for when the rain ended. Okay, dad, she agreed, wracking her brain for any memory of large, flat rocks. The copse had a lot of trees, but not so many rocks. Maybe they’d need to go outside the borders to find what they were looking for. D’you promise there won’t be any mud there?

-If there, is... I'll lick it clean myself!- he replied, sticking his tongue out and waggling it around for show. The thought of licking a rock clean was actually pretty disgusting, but he was confident they'd be able to find a mud-free rock somewhere close by, even if it wasn't in the immediate area. -The mountains have some good rocks. We could go visit Meerkat and Bronco; I'll bet they'd already have a good idea about which rock would be best.- It was nice to have friends and family in other places.

-Now that you and your brother and sister are getting older, we can take little trips like that. Before you know it, you'll be able to venture out on your own, too.- Maybe talking about those future freedoms would take her mind off the mud for a little while.

She didn’t even try to suppress a giggle at Phox’s vow. Sure, he’d probably contributed significantly to her mud phobia, but he was still her dad. The older she got, she more she realized what a goof he was. One day, maybe she’d realize that throwing mud at her was meant to help rather than to mortify. One day, she’d might even forgive him for it.

The topic of Bronco was a sore one, and made her face fall instantly. Why’d he have to go, too? It was bad enough that Meerkat chose to ditch her family to go hang out on some ugly mountain, but Bronco was supposed to be her knight in shining armor. Meerkat didn’t need him. Alyx did!

She was interested in visiting Moonspear and its various flat, dry rocks with her father, but not as interested as she was in asking, when are they coming home?

Phox watched as Alyx's mood changed when he mentioned Bronco. He hadn't realized that she was so sad about his leaving, but it wasn't a shock or a surprise. Bronco was a good kid (he'd probably hate being called a kid), and he'd been a great mentor for his younger siblings. -He went to make sure that Meerkat had a friend at Moonspear,- he explained, shortly before Alyx asked when they were coming home. -As for when they're coming home... well, I'm not sure. I know they'll be back to visit every once in awhile, but they get to decide when they want to come back for good.-

It was really more of an "if" on that last part, but Phox still held out hope that both of them would want to come back eventually. He thought fondly of Fennec and Figment, too. One day, he told himself, they would come back home. Even if not for good, he missed them terribly. He was glad that he had the trio and Meerkat to focus on, but he still thought of his older children quite often. And what of the trio as they got older? Would they want to embark on their own personal journeys? Phox was certain that they all would at some point, based on his past experiences.

He thought of asking Alyx if she ever wanted to leave, but he didn't want to hear the answer right now. Better to live in ignorance for a little while longer.

Oh. That wasn’t the answer Alyx had hoped for. She didn’t know precisely what she’d hoped to hear, but Bronco choosing to go to Moonspear just to be Meerkat’s friend left a weird stinging sensation in her chest. Didn’t he want to be her friend, too? Meerkat was good at making friends and had a whole mountain of wolves to pick from, but Alyx didn’t really have anyone to befriend anymore. Everyone was either her littermate or her parents or a weird and reclusive uncle and cousin.

Phox reminded her that they’d come to visit soon enough, and she pouted. S’not long enough, she sulked. How could she expect to get in any quality Bronco play time when they were so busy saying hi to everyone? Phooey, she hated the whole thing.

Which reminded her, abruptly, of what she’d told Wraen. When I’m Sobrun I’ll make sure no one ever leaves again, she told Phox with an air of finality, as if this future of hers was written in stone.

Now that her disapproval of the rain had vanished, it appeared to be replaced by disapproval of Bronco and Meerkat's departure. Oh my. Alyx went on to declare about how "when she was sovereign," and a smile crept up to Phox's face. It appeared that Alyx had some lofty aspirations! That certainly wasn't a bad thing, although he wondered how the current sovereign would feel about that. Probably not threatened yet, but that sort of talk could rile up the right wolf.

Is that what you wanna do when you get older? he asked. There was no sarcasm in his tone, like some adults might have taken. Phox had a tendency to take everything his children said for exactly what it was. Of course, he didn't have the heart to tell her that sovereigns couldn't really make wolves stay, even if they wanted to... at least not in his experience. They would come and go, and Phox had found it simpler and less emotionally tumultuous to let them go. Fennec had been the hardest by far, and not a day went by when he didn't wish that she was back.

Cha, scoffed Alyx. Who wouldn't want to be in charge of everyone when they got older? It was idealistic at best and foolish at worst, but Alyx felt like she was a perfect fit for the job. So what if she had no idea how much work it really took to lead a pack of wolves? As long as she had the power to tell everyone what to do and stop those she loved from leaving, how hard could the rest of it be?

'Cept I dunno how, she admitted. Wraen hadn't been very forthcoming on the subject, and for some reason, she felt a little weird about approaching Towma about it. Like it might offend her or something. Towma was a great Sovereign and had all of her pseudo-daughter's respect, but she'd let Bronco and Meerkat leave, and Alyx thought she could've made them stay. Somehow, telling Phox about her secret wish felt safe enough.

Bless your heart, Alyx.

Phox had never had aspirations to lead, at least not until he wanted to get away from milk toast's rule. Maybe if he'd had somebody to guide him, he would have done a better job at it. Then again, Alyx and her littermates hadn't even been around for that. Figment and Fennec had been so small then. Towhee had dipped her toes in leading time and time again, but Phox felt pretty good about where he was now. He'd always been better in a supporting role. Leading wasn't in his DNA like it was for Towhee or even Niamh.

It's usually not very exciting, if I'm being perfectly honest. You get to decide who is allowed to stay, but deciding who leaves is a bit of a fool's errand. Even Towma didn't listen when I told her not to leave back when we lived in the grove, before you were born. Not to mention his own kid, Fennec, had run off without saying anything. And then there was Elfie who was still missing. Phox hoped that wherever Elfie was, he'd found somewhere better.

Phox shared his insight from his own time leading, but when he finished, Alyx offered a self-assured shake of her head. Maybe no one listens to you, but they'll listen to me, she said with finality.

How exactly did she plan to make them stay? That was easy! Either they would stay because she was just that cool and compelling, or she would seduce them with her drop dead looks. She wasn't much to look at yet with her gangling limbs and her oversized paws and ears, but if Niamh was anything to go by, then she would be stunning one day. If that didn't work, there were always threats. She wasn't sure how she could physically force someone to stay, but she was crafty enough to figure something out.

Where's the grove? Why'd you leave? she wondered next, peering at her father as she realized, probably for the first time, that he (and many other wolves she loved) had had a life before her.

I know I'd listen to ya, Phox replied with a wink. In doing so, some of the rain got into his eye, and his wink turned into an erratic blinking of his eye for a few moments before the drop of water slid down his cheek. She asked about the grove, and Phox smiled softly, and a little bit sadly. His time there had been short-lived, and quite hectic, but what about the Redhawks had ever gone smoothly?

Now was his chance to teach his little wolverine about some family history, which he'd heard his mother loved to do. Might as well keep that tradition going, eh? It's a little bit south of here. Towma and I used to live with our big sister, Raven. When we decided to start our own pack, we moved to the grove. Our other big sister, Wildfire, founded this pack here, the Firebirds. Last year, long before you were born, there was a landslide. It was like the whole earth collapsed in on itself, and it blocked the only way in and out of the grove where we lived. Towma, Figment, and I were trapped in there. Fennec was missing before that.

Phox paused, trying to recover the most foggy memories from that time. Your mother managed to escape over the wall, but when I tried, I fell. I hit my head really, really hard. I don't remember much, but somehow Figment and I managed to find a way out and get to the Frosthawks, where Raven still lives. She took care of me until I could come back here to the Firebirds, where I reconnected with your mom.

Alyx grinned. Of course he would listen to her. If you asked her, there was never a more charismatic wolf born than Alyx. She would go on to disprove herself in a matter of days when she failed to convince her parents to let her live with Rusalka and threw a sulky fit on top of it, but here and now, she thought everyone would listen to her.

Phox launched into a brief explanation of his time in their former grove. When he got to the part about the landslide, Alyx visibly shuddered. She couldn’t imagine how messy that would be. Somehow, Towma made it over the wall but Phox smacked his head on the way down, and in the end, they’d all ended up here in Firebirds.

Wow, that sounds wild, she exclaimed. She was glad she hadn’t been there for it. Alyx wasn’t sure she could handle being trapped in one place for very long. Peeking out at the rain, she audibly sighed and said, I don’t think it’s gonna let up. Wanna go get something to eat? The rain made her super miserable, but not as miserably as a rumbly tummy. When Phox agreed, she led the way into the rain, but she did try to fold in on herself to be as small as possible as they hurried off to the caches.