The Heartwood you dream of some epiphany

it was from one of these excursions that teya returned, enlivened. she felt as though she might have shed the spell of kynareth in a secret trysting she did not intend to share with a soul. it had been for her alone. knowing she had not lost her desirability outside of what she already shared with bridget, teya came back to brecheliant, to the strange smooth stillness. insects trilled and whirred along the sedges, dragonflies lifting from their holdings, stirred by the passing raven.
overhead, the summertime air was filled with the sound of birds. she heard the splash of otters nearby, the shear of troutfin through water. brecheliant was beautiful, and the violet felt rather renewed.
rather ready to march madly to ibis' den and tell the woman that she did not intend to be akavir, or intend to wait for him. that she wished to be more, and wished to explain this.
passing thought that she had not seen arcturus in quite some time.
dutifully she took fish as before to where she had last scented eljay. along the trail, she came across the scent of the auspex' children. while teya did not concern herself with the notion of who was sitting for whom, she stepped in where able. today was not one of these days.
she found the mother's den empty, and frowned, sniffing at the entrance with a wary curiosity. had she taken the babies elsewhere?
some hours later, teya headed from brecheliant, lips rigid and legs stiff. she forced herself into a canter as she left the fen behind.
ibis had left a small trail, but it faded and faded the more that teya grasped for any strands of it. dawn on the second day, rising quickly. teya refused to return to brecheliant, refused to sleep more than a fitful snatching of moments before she was off again.
a wrong turn and she was near the caldera. she skirted the redhawks and shivered, losing ibis' trail along the waterway. this time she did force herself to halt, to pant, to curse and throw herself against the ground. the next hours sent her upon a failed hunt, and then one more successful; she chewed as she walked, choosing to follow where she felt ibis might have been heading.
the days blended now.
the heat tore at the girl.
she did not know how long she had been gone from brecheliant.
the soured smell of vomit had led her to ibis once more, and all teya could think was that she had been far too late, gone long enough for the beautiful limbs to begin their trajectory into death. uncomprehendingly she stared, too exhausted to do more than sink down beside ibis on shaking legs and nose the ruff that no longer held the fragrance of the woman she had loved, dearly and desperately and dangerously.
cicadas, chirring in the deep and cursed forest.
teya passed into darkness and when she woke, she found it was no heat-dream.
she had no strength to bring ibis home, and cried bitterly against the earth.
time went on.
eventually she would return.
"i love you," she whispered instead, voice faint and lost beneath the weight of summer and her own swollen eyes.