Lost Creek Hollow we'll be counting stars

"because i tried to make sure they were ... not. once. and then the second time, i did nothing but still, i thought —" her voice grew smaller still; she fought the cries that wanted to erupt from her throat. "i am ashamed when i look at them." and she was not sure she loved them, certainly not as crowfeather did. she was only desperate for the time when they would no longer need her, and then, perhaps, with distance she might be able to mend. she adjusted now, at last drawing back to find akavir's eyes, to search for judgement. "crowfeather and germanicus will love them. ash paw has agreed to be their mother in name. no one else needs to know what i have done. they will be happy in riverclan and that is what i want."