Heron Lake Plateau If we pass in the night then just hand me a light

He got a ways before he turned back. When he'd left her there, he'd had every intention of leaving without a backward glance.  But, in his anger, he'd forgotten to leave a message with her, and try as he might he couldn't let it go.

She could take this place, but she couldn't take his chance to say goodbye to the ones here that mattered.

Colt didn't bother stopping at the borders when he came.  He'd be gone soon enough anyway and he figured @Quixote wouldn't mind.  He was one on his list, and his sister was the other.  He wanted @Finley to know where he was going, and that they were good.  

He went straight to where she and @Elwood tended to shack up, hoping not to run into anyone else.  If he did? Well, they could deal.

tags for ref or joining!

Eljay, as per usual, had no clue what was going on, of course. And he was hanging around where mommy and daddy were shacked up, of course, because he was pretty sure Wiffle would remember taking them when she left for the copse, and that way he couldn't miss being taken. Besides, it was always fun hanging out with his siblings, too. Eljay's ears perked up as he saw Uncle Colt draw closer. Still totally oblivious, he smiled at his uncle and approached with a wag of his tail. Eljay didn't know Uncle Colt very well, but he was still family.

"Hiya uncle Colt," said Eljay. "Are you looking for mommy? I don't know where she's at." She might return here shortly -- Eljay hoped so -- but for now, she and daddy weren't here, right now. He waited to hear the answer, figuring he could keep uncle Colt company until mommy and daddy returned if need be.

He didn't run into Finley, but fortunately, it was only Eljay who waited nearby.  He was pretty well set on avoiding any sign of Niamh or Towhee; he'd already said his piece to the former, and the latter he didn't care enough for to make it worth the hassle.  Likely Niamh had spun the reasons to her liking already.

I am. Colt replies, glancing around.  Too bad.  You mind callin for her, bud? If Eljay did, it wouldn't bring too many running.  He wouldn't mind passin the time until then with his nephew.  He liked Eljay well enough and would be as sorry to leave him as the others.  Too bad the fit just wasn't there anymore.

Fin had overdone it. Timing had been her enemy that day and sent a red fox across her path at the same moment she was feeling far too cocky. The chase that ensued had ended in disaster with Fin's legging giving out sudden and sending her headfirst into a shallow mess of ice, mud, and water. Because her hip screaming angrily at her every time she took a step simply wasn't enough of a lesson in don't-ever-have-confidence.

So it was that Finley was covered in filth and limping heavily when she neared her and Elwood's den and heard her son's voice. Her ears perked at the words Uncle Colt and she would've sped up had she been in better shape. Instead, she limped slowly into view, looking very much she'd gotten one hell of a snuggle from a swamp monster.

"I'm always so impressed with your timing," Fin said as she dropped to her haunches upon reaching the circle. She leaned heavily to her good side so as to avoid putting any pressure on her aching hip, then fixed Colt with an expectant stare. He'd been gone for a while now, though she'd never had any doubt he'd show up out of the blue again at some point.

Of course! Eljay was about to call for mommy for uncle Colt when he heard someone behind him. As mommy came into view, Eljay's heart ached. He had not considered much that mommy had an injury until Raven and Wifi mentioned it as reasons why mommy was unable to come to the Caldera on a trip right now. But now it suddenly felt clear as day. How could he have been so blind? Eljay frowned worriedly, though said nothing.

Assuming the adults wanted to speak with each other now, Eljay grew quiet and let them converse, though he stayed with them unless dismissed.

feel free to skip me unless he's addressed :)

<3

He watched gratefully as Eljay agreed, but it was unnecessary, because sure enough here she came covered in shit.  Was that shit?

Interrupt some swamp hopping? he asked, though his smile didn't quite reach his eyes.  Then it dropped, and he prepped for giving the news.  He wasn't sure how she'd take it, but if he could have found another outcome for this, damn sure he'd have gone for it.

Not sure what you've heard, but I'm not technically supposed to be here right now.  I'm hitting the road again.  Niamh told me to get lost, and I'm too old to keep doing this shit.  He had to smile a little at that admittance, because for him to say it out loud was an occasion she would only hear once!  

Sorry to leave you all, but I think it's best I go home.  He looked at Fin, and while he tried to keep to that customary Colt lightness, he knew she'd probably see right through it.

"Sure, we'll go with that," Fin replied as she panted to catch her breath. She had no desire to explain what had actually happened to put her in such disarray, and besides, Colt's melancholy disposition was distracting her attention soon enough. She listened as he spoke, frowning at him more and more as he continued. She could tell her brother was hurting in spite of his smiles and the casualness of his tone. She could also tell that he had made up his mind, in spite of the whole thing sounding like a load of crap to her.

"Why?" she asked bluntly, without anger. She knew perfectly well (and suspected he did too) that Quixote would overrule Niamh's dismissal in a second, so that was a moot point. All she could think was that he and Niamh had called it quits, but over what? An argument? Was that seriously all it took to make her brother run for the hills? Unless it was Niamh's call to end it, which... Fin could see that. She knew a little something about what it was to be young, immature and incredibly stupid. Still, that didn't make it sensible for Colt to return to the Vale.

She listened and asked the obvious question, one that he still wasn't certain on the answer.  It didn't really matter now, did it?  

It was pretty clear though that she hadn't heard anything.  A wolf showed up from Blackfeather.  She had information on Ceara, but Towhee attacked her.  I tried to get in the way to hear what she had to say, accidentally knocked Towhee sideways in the process, and Niamh kicked me out.  Said I could only come back if I killed the Blackfeather.  He shrugged.  I see a problem with a pack that cares more about hating someone than they do bringing a packmate home, and besides.  Niamh told me she found someone else.

It was the final straw.  This pack didn't give much of a damn about him aside from her, and much as he loved her, she wasn't enough to keep him here.  She had her own family now.

Quixote had been off doing a patrol, so it wasn't exactly surprising that his arrival on the scene wasn't the most prompt thing ever.  Colt had made a pretty stealthy entry (at least when it came to just walking on through instead of howling) so it was only by chance that Quixote had come across the scent trail  when it was still pretty fresh.  Unsurprisingly, he went to investigate.

Given the time that had passed, he was pretty sure that when he found Colt at the end it wasn't going to be some kind of announcement of his glorious homecoming.  He could hope, but Quixote was certainly more of a realist and he was pretty sure that Colt wasn't gonna want to stick around as long as Niamh was here.  Seriously, that bunch of youths was gonna end up being a giant pain, weren't they?

Either way, it was pretty obvious that Colt and Finley were pretty far into conversation, and with Eljay hanging around too it started to feel more like some other family thing he maybe shouldn't step in on.  He paused a comfortable distance away, ears tipped forward, looking for some sort of sign it was ok to intrude, else he'd maybe just wait.  It wasn't like anything else exciting was going on today.

Fin had to bite her tongue to keep herself from not interrupting the story. She knew about the  Blackfeather stuff, mostly. At least, she knew what she cared to know. In any event, it hadn't been what she'd been asking after, but Colt did eventually get to that point. Niamh was a dumb slut. That answered the question succinctly enough for her.

Finley found her gaze trailing to Eljay, whom she watched thoughtfully for a silent moment. Try as she might, she couldn't seem to feel any anger towards Niamh for being a whore or towards Colt for deciding to bail. Somewhere along the line, she'd figured out that she couldn't control what happened around her, and she definitely couldn't keep those she loved with her no matter how tightly she grasped. Her wayward kids were proof of that.

Plus, he'd said he was going home. The news was far easier to swallow knowing he wasn't wandering off into the wild blue yonder where she'd never know what happened to him. He was going home. She could be okay with that.

Not that she’d just go down without a fight. 

”So your girlfriend’s a little slut. Why does that mean you have to go?” Fin asked. She narrowed her eyes, but was distracted when she spotted Quixote. It made her think of the other part of his statement. ”And the pack doesn’t care more about killing Blackfeathers. Towhee does. This pack is more than just her." 

Fin frowned a bit, uncomfortable with her own words. Somewhere along the lines, she had come to realize that there might be a small problem with Towhee's leadership style. She'd tried to temper the rash decisions and the ...uh... unforgiving-ness out of her, but the older and more independent Towhee got, the more Fin could see how her efforts hadn't totally worked. Not that she'd ever admit it.

Really? Colt gave his sister a long look, then shook his head.

This pack is theirs.  And that's fine, well and good for you all.  But when a good part of the pack thinks you're better off gone, and the rest of the pack acts like the sun shines out their asses, well.  Better to be gone  He shrugged, and finally a small smile cracked through.  Not that I'm sayin it isn't deserved.  This was their home, and even though he'd been there longer than a good many (Towhee excluded), he couldn't fight it.  Doubtless Raven would take Towhee's side, and she had Niamh and Phox too.  Likely a good number of Fin's kids also, much as he'd tried to be an uncle worth having.  Some things you couldn't compete with.

He nodded Quixote over, welcoming him to join in.  He was glad his friend had come by, seein has he was really the only other wolf Colt was interested in seeing.  Not great on the numbers.  Niamh really had been his only asset here, hadn't she?

He did get called over eventually, so he headed on over.  It was kind of unfortunate he didn't overhear the bit about Colt being disliked because man, he was not the only one on that boat and Qui definitely had Opinions about that kind of thing.  Chances are that was going to come up soon enough, so that wasn't entirely out of play.

Still, he was glad to see Colt hadn't just ragequit the entire area thanks to his ex, even if he was pretty sure this was just a short term thing.  With a wag of his tail and a polite bob of his head, Quixote entered the verbal ring with his usual bit of sarcasm, I don't suppose you being here means you've decided it's more fun to stick around and see if Niamh spontaneously combusts from me undoing her bad decisions?  Yeah, probably not.  But he could hope for something unlikely.  And okay, yeah, it was also probably still bad form to make fun of her if she really did have some mental issues she needed to sort out, but she'd always been a little irrational from what he could remember, so...  Maybe that made it ok?

He definitely had a whole bunch of questions but just word-vomiting them out seemed kind of rude.  Just give it a few seconds to settle and see if there was an opportunity.

Fin met her brother's long, doleful look with one of her own. She wasn't willing to back down on this - not yet anyway, and especially not that reinforcements had arrived. She passed a small smile to Quixote as he neared, which turned into a smirk as he spoke. "Nah, this fucker's trying to say good bye again," she said, robbing Colt of his chance to set the tone here by answering in his own words. Feeling petulant, she spoke again either before or as he was attempting to say something ele.

"You're talking about two - maybe three wolves here. My kids certainly don't think you'd be better off gone and I don't appreciate you using them as an excuse to cover up the real issue here," Fin said, tempered as a blunt ax as ever, "You're hurt and you want distance from it. Fine then. But quit playing the nobody likes me boo hoo card because most of us love you, jack ass, and you're not leaving here thinking that we don't."

Really, it was sweet of her, if you read between the lines.

Just because she was right didn't mean it was easy to take.  This is my second time getting kicked out of this pack.  What do I do, just ignore it every time it fuckin happens? he asked, but this time there was even a little more honesty to the smile.  This was a valid part of why he was bouncing, it just wasn't the more upsetting one.  Truth was, he didn't care if they liked him all that much.  He didn't much like them either, and he'd never been too self conscious when it came to others' opinions.  

Hey Qui.  Sorry. He gave his friend a greeting, late because he'd been more worried about Finley's words, before turning back.  He knew she was right, he was running, and the callout did take a pretty big hit to his pride.  Why the fuck did she have to know him so well?  She broke my heart, Fin. he said, quieter.  She was going to make him get real with it, fine, ok.  He was too old to be a coward about it, wasn't he?  I can't stay here and watch.  I need space.

He was totally fine letting them speak first.  Mostly because he'd also probably end up rambling.  And given the amount of bold that has appeared in this post even after trimming out some fluff, he was true to form.  In this case?  Totally ignore it.  Nobody knew what happened because Niamh ran the hell off right away.  I get not wanting to be around your ex for a while, but she was being unreasonable so this didn't count.  If she runs off into the sunset again because.. I don't know -- something..  You can come back whenever you want.  Shrug.  Maybe Qui was biased, but this wasn't any fault of Colt's.  The only one who had an issue here was Niamh.

And if you're, looking to Finley, meaning Niamh's buddies, back to Colt, I don't think you should think too much of them.  They've got this hivemind going on -- I had two of them saying how I totally shouldn't be leader and blah blah blah, Redhawks by birth only, lots of angst that they should just grow up and get over.  They don't seem to care about stuff being responsibly dealt with as much as how dare you piss off their friend. -- I can see spring is gonna be a mess already. He obviously thought they weren't exactly being reasonable about any of it, and was super unimpressed by their collective behavior.  There seemed to be a lot of not listening going on but the depths of that problem weren't yet entirely revealed to him.  Only problem was there were three of them and only one of him.

Eljay had no idea any of this was going on so he blinked a lot as he listened to them talk. It ended up with Uncle Colt leaving, or wanting to leave, and mommy saying he shouldn't. Even Quixote showed up and told Uncle Colt that he shouldn't leave, even though he seemed pretty set on his ways.

I'd like you to stay, said eljay quite suddenly. Then, after a short moment he thought of a solution of sorts: Maybe you could come to Wiffle's pack, when she goes to create it. Eljay figured that he and mommy and daddy would come -- why not Uncle Colt, too, if he'd rather not be around Niamh..?

"Oh yeah, like your skull isn't thick enough," Fin muttered darkly, her last jab before allowing the others to hop into the conversation. She felt a stab of guilt over her brother's last words, but intermingled was a sense of victory, which also kinda sucked. She didn't like her brother hurting, but she also didn't like him thinking so low of himself. She couldn't stop him from hurting over Niamh, but she would at least see to it that he knew his family loved him.

Finley glanced at Quixote out of the corner of her eye, frowning a little. She knew Towhee and Phox were being a little brash and entitled, but they were still her kids. She was saved by having to reprimand her alpha (because since when did rank ever stop her) by Eljay, who spoke up with words sweet as honey, sweet as... Well, sweet as Eljay. 

"You could do that," Fin offered, though she didn't truly think it would help him get distance from Niamh. They would still be neighbors, plus she knew from her own experience with Hawkin that some heartbreak required all ties be cut for a while. She didn't have much more to say on that matter though, so she held her tongue to let Colt comment on that idea before she spoke further one way or the other.

Colt appreciated that at least he and Quixote seemed to be on the same page, and he honestly felt bad throwing his friend to the not so proverbial wolves by leaving.  He had the blessing of at least having Raven to temper things, but still.  Seemed like they were in a similar boat when it came to the hate brigade.

Shit, now Eljay was chiming in.  Colt looked at him, and his resolve weakened.  He loved his sister's kids a hell of a lot, even Eljay, who was maybe not the picture perfect Blackthorn but a refreshingly honest and nice kid anyway.

I have no clue who Wiffle is, but you're skipping out too then, eh?  He paused, mainly to think.

He wasn't looking forward to a trip home midwinter.  He was pretty damn physically sound, but that didn't mean he couldn't run into trouble, and trouble alone was becoming more and more deadly the older he got.  Having something nearby but not too near would be ideal, and even better if he could still somehow keep some measure of family close.

I'll think about it.  But for now, I think steering clear is my best bet.  It was the best he could give.  Maybe this Wiffle pack would be different, but no matter what Finley might say, Colt couldn't shake the feeling he didn't have a place here anymore.  It wasn't that he felt he wasn't worthy of it... it was more he felt they weren't. That little nugget he'd keep to himself, though, because present company was definitely excluded.

It wasn't like Quixote was gonna think much of Finley's frown.  The trio was totally worth frowning at, so the thought it might be at him instead of at them didn't even cross his mind.  The whole thing was stupid and he wasn't sure what to do about it, but that was something for a different time.

But honestly, Eljay's suggestion wasn't unreasonable.  Quixote was gonna suggest it himself if he hadn't already typed a GIANT WALL OF TEXT.  But that was gonna be a bit much.  Either way, he nodded in agreement, Wildfire.  Raven's littermate -- don't think you met her?  She seemed reasonable enough. Shrug.  Qui hadn't spent a massive huge amount of time with her, mostly because he felt like a third wheel when the sisters were chatting away.  They're setting up uh... In the forest thing that's east of here a bit.  He was great with names, yup.

Uncle Colt said he would consider the offer, but he didn't seem to know who Wiffle was. "Oh!" Eljay brought out, but before he could supply her actual name, realising he had used mommy's nickname for her that had sorta stuck for Eljay, too, Quixote already supplied the information. As Uncle Colt suggested Eljay was 'skipping out', Eljay felt rather caught out and ashamed suddenly. Especially in the light of his conversation with Towhee. "Oh, no, I mean, I'm considering it, but I dunno, uhm, I mean it's not sure yet..." He looked at mommy, hoping she had a better answer than he did. She and daddy were gonna come too, right? Eljay guiltily avoided eye contact with Quixote; what if he was upset because Eljay was considering leaving? And what if he and Raven needed him come spring when they would breed again? How could he leave them like that? Towhee's upset had unleashed something in Eljay, and he suddenly wondered if leaving was the right way to go. But then, the thought of losing Wildfire just after she'd returned to his life hurt his heart, too. It felt like he just couldn't win: saying that going with Wiffle was just like staying in the Redhawks pack because they were so close and would be like sister packs would mean Uncle Colt wouldn't want to join... But saying the packs were farther apart and the plateau pack's territories were much worse and hell yeah Eljay was gonna join might upset their Alpha.

Anyway, Uncle Colt said that he would want to leave for a little bit regardless. "I hope to see you again, Uncle Colt," said Eljay, whether it was at Wiffle's pack or here.

Fin snrked a little at Colt's response. She was perfectly willing to leave him in the dark over Wiffle's identity, but Quixote chimed in to clear up the issue. She smirked at the alpha's assessment of his sister-in-law (lol reasonable enough lol), but had nothing to add until it came to explaining the territory. "Place called Sun Mote Copse," she added, "I wandered over that way once. You go too far north, you're in a swamp. Too far south, you're in a bog." That had amused her at the time, and it did still.

To his point about steering clear, Fin could only nod. She was peering curiously at Eljay now, thinking more on what he'd said about considering going to the Copse himself. She didn't exactly know how she felt about that, but she stashed it away for further inspection later. She turned her attention back to Colt. "You should go check it out when you're ready," she said, "Wildfire's a good kid with a good head on her shoulders. She was a leader at her previous pack, so it's not her first rodeo either." 

She considered adding plus, she can hear to the end of her statement, but decided to leave it out. Important as that fact may have been to Colt, she didn't need to even remotely admit that Towhee's handicap was a little more than Fin had always made it out to be. That ran far too close to saying something like Colt was right.

So you'll be coming too, then, huh? Seein as there's plenty of bogs to jump in. This joke brought a genuine smile, or smirk, or a bit of both.  In all reality, if Qui was right and Wildfire was more like Raven, Colt would definitely consider.  He liked the healer quite a bit.

You'll see me around, kiddo.  If not there, then sometime I'll come back north.  Won't be that easy to ship me off for good. He winked, then stood to go, with one final look at Quixote.  Take care, and let Raven know I said thanks.  If you ever need anything, well, Fin knows where I'll be if I don't stay.  He waited to let them get final words in, ready to get out of their fur and back on the road.  He didn't relish the thought of sticking around long enough to run into anyone in particular.

He did hope that Colt would end up not too far away.  Even if recently they had kind of grown a bit more distant, knowing Colt was around to bug at some point later would kind of be nice.  Slow exhale and a nod.  As I think I said, you're always welcome back if things bring you back this way.  Can always work out the details then.  And he'd miss Colt, not that Quixote would actually say that because he was an emotionally-stunted idiot, but hey.  Colt could probably figure that out (both aspects), regardless.

This whole thing seemed unavoidable but it was all squarely on Niamh's head.  Why couldn't she have stayed missing a little longer? Why couldn't Colt have come back first?  That would have been a much better way to handle things.  Maybe he should have just booted Niamh and let Colt stay instead -- but he was pretty sure he'd have Towhee and Phox trying to chew his head off 4.3 seconds after they found out and that would have just been travel time.  The pack wasn't without problems, and some of them weren't easy to solve -- he didn't like how this was ending.

Mommy told Uncle Colt some more about the copse, but Eljay mostly tuned out this conversation as an old habit (the adults were talking now). Then Quixote said Uncle Colt would always be welcome back, which was sweet. Quixote and Raven really deserved each other, Eljay thought idly to himself as this conversation took place. Luckily nobody zoomed in on Eljay's fumbling of words when it came to leaving for the Copse. He'd need to take some time to sort his thoughts, but at least it seemed that Quixote wouldn't hate him if he chose to go.

Eljay contemplated leaving as things were drawing to a natural conclusion, but decided against it as he remembered why he had been hanging about here in the first place (to not be missed when Wiffle left). Anyway, Eljay just remained silent as the others spoke. Silences weren't as awkward when there were others to speak to one another, too.

Fin gave her brother a look at his joke, but it turned into an appreciative smirk after a few seconds. She listened as he made what she considered to be his closing commentary and Quixote made his. She knew Colt well enough to feel very confident that he would be joining Wildfire's new pack, so she didn't bother with any sort of heartfelt good bye. She wasn't exactly into those anyway.

"Well, on that note, I ought to go clean myself up," Fin said, excusing herself, "See ya round, jack ass. Later K'yote." She smiled at them both, turned to give Eljay a quick nuzzle, then headed off in the direction of the lake. While she did want to get clean, she was a little hopeful she'd run across Elwood or one of her other kids first so she could torment them with a big ol' muddy hug. Hopefully for them, she made it to her destination without interruption.