Redhawk Caldera When lightning crashes the sunrise

Atreus felt like shit as he made his way to Brecheliant. He desperately needed a friend right now and he only had one in the world: @Amalia. He could use some advice but mostly he just needed comfort, little as he deserved it.

He reached the far side of the meadow and stared up at the imposing caldera for a moment. Then Atreus loosed a howl, trying to keep his distress from coming through the call but very likely failing.

Amalia had been roaming teh Caldera. Putting fresh scent markers on the borders. Running errands for any that needed it. They had children coming soon and she wanted to be sure that everyone was happy, content and taken care of. She couldn't do much for others who were carrying life inside them, but she could take care of their outward lives and feed them at the very least. However, she was soon shaken from her movements by a distressed call.

Bear? She turned and raced towards it, her heart galloping with her. He had tried to hide it. But she could hear the undercurrent of sadness there. What had happened? Had he been hurt?

Icarus? She called to him as soon as he came into sight. Moving forward she nosed at him, to be sure nothing was hurt or broken. He seemed in good health, other than a furrow between his brows.

She came quickly, like always. Besides Inkeri, she was the only wolf he felt comfortable touching. When Amalia nosed at him, Atreus welcomed the contact. In fact, he felt tension coiling through his whole body and released it by throwing his arms around her neck, quite possibly taking her by surprise.

I’m a piece of shit, Amalia! he wailed into her ear.

Amalia was thrown backward slightly when Atreus grasped her on either side of her head. She hadn't been ready for it. But she quickly locked her legs and curled her own fore paws around him. Making gentle shush noises in her throat. She heard the absolutely pain in his voice and felt her heart drop like a stone. Fearing the worst, but honestly unsure what even the worst could be.

You are not. She chided gentle. What happened? She rocked gently and was unsure what else to do, but she held ears forward waiting for an answer.

She refuted him. Atreus didn’t know if he felt better or worse for it, though he held onto her fiercely regardless. Of course she wanted to know why he’d said such a thing but for a moment, he just got lost in her hug.

Finally and slowly, he extracted himself and said, I met this girl, Ink. She’s really pretty and sweet. I really liked her, like, you know… Atreus flushed a little, though if there was anyone he could tell anything, it was Amalia. But she told me some really dark shit about her past and I didn’t… I didn’t do anything, Amalia. She left and I just sat there like a total asshole.

His hug was tightening by the minute and she let it. Clearly he was very upset. It hurt her gentle heart and she wanted to squeeze him extra hard to her. She fussed quietly. Paws smoothing down fur. And listening.

Amalia smiled at his mannerisms. So he had met a girl. How sweet, but as he continued, her smile faded and a furrow began in her brow. But this was not completely unfixable....but he had to answer some pretty hard questions about himself in doing so.

Well first and foremost you have to decide if you can handle it? That is if you want to continue a relationship with the girl?

No, he blurted, then sucked in a sharp breath.

No, he didn’t think he could handle it. He knew he couldn’t. Case in point: his reaction when Inkeri had told him about it. Atreus hadn’t meant to say that outright or at all but as his lips puckered and his eyes desperately sought his friend’s, he knew he couldn’t take back the words.

He could add onto them, however, and did, saying, I don’t want to just, like, abandon her. But I don’t know if I can even be the friend she needs, much less anything more. I told you! I’m a complete piece of shit!

He pulled away from her and brought his paws up to cover his face. Why was he like this? He was young and inexperienced, sure, but Atreus wasn’t so immature that he couldn’t handle some things like an adult. It was just that intimacy was already tricky enough for him without all the extra baggage…

Guilt soured his stomach. His paws dragged down his face, pulling the skin beneath his eyes. Atreus couldn’t look at Amalia now, instead glancing sideways with a sniff. Would she think less of him for his behavior and his honesty? He supposed he deserved that too.

At least he was honest. That was good. It was rough sure, and she was certain he felt crappy for it, but realizing that he couldn't was much more mature than most his age. Getting him to realize that was the tricky part. Especially if he had really liked the girl. It was hard being a teenager. She knew.

Amalia ghosted forward and gently tugged at his paws, and lifted his muzzle if he'd allow.

Icarus. Bear. She whispered gently. It actually shows a lot of maturity being able to admit you can't handle something. And it is better for her if you do admit it and don't try. But you do need to be honest with her and yourself. Even if it's just to say hey. You and I can be friends, but like you said you can't be the exact friend she needs. Don't do that right away obviously.

She brushed a paw down his head. A soft click in her throat.

He felt her touch his wrist. Atreus let go of his own face, letting his paws drift back to the ground. He still couldn’t bring himself to look right at her, though he tilted his head and listened. Amalia reassured him that acknowledging his inability to cope with Inkeri’s trauma was in fact a mark of maturity. It didn’t feel that way but he didn’t argue.

He didn’t say anything at all for a little while. Atreus didn’t feel entirely in control of himself, so he focused on harnessing his feelings before they manifested somehow. He replayed Amalia’s words back in his mind, fully absorbing what she’d said.

I guess, he eventually said, followed by a huge sigh.

The way Amalia’s paw brushed over his head made him think of all the touches he’d shared with Inkeri in those precious few days they’d enjoyed together. There was something much more maternal about Amalia’s touches by comparison, though as he finally brought his eyes up to her face, he wondered if she might actually be the same age as Ink.

Paws drifted to the ground, but he still wouldn't look at her, but that was okay. he had a lot he was grappling with. And she wasn't sure if she was helping or making it worse. She understood that he probably didn't feel that was mature, but it was. Truly.

Amalia gave a soft little sigh. I know it's hard. And sometimes when we do or don't do something it makes us feel like crappy beings, but despite it all. You did show maturity by admitting you can't handle it. Though you should probably also admit that o her personally, but you don't need to right this moment.

Had Amalia known the female sniffing around Incarus was near her age, she'd probably had a heart attack and got violent, but she didn't know and didn't ask.

A series of very intrusive thoughts crossed his mind just then. If Inkeri saw him as a romantic prospect, might Amalia consider him in that way too? She said he was mature. Did she come with any sort of baggage?

Atreus caught himself and pushed the thoughts away with a strong inward cringe. It was way too weird to think of Amalia that way, which made him wonder if it wasn’t totally inappropriate to engage with Inkeri too. Age was just a number but clearly he was too young to handle a woman that—to put it in the kindest possible terms—worldly.

But he cared deeply for Amalia. She was his best friend. And she was not just providing comfort but sensible advice too, words he would remember and put to use later. He felt a wave of deep appreciation for her, tinged with a fair heaping of guilt. He had come here to whine about his life and he hadn’t even given her goings-on a second thought.

Anyway, Atreus said, a clear indication that he wanted to move on to something else now, how are things with you?

Amalia would have quickly derailed such thoughts had she known he was toeing into unwholesome territory. He was like her little brother or her child. That wasn't to say older woman didn't date younger men.

Amalia felt him to be her best friend as well, even if he was a bit younger. Well he was tied with her brother, but that was alright. He was calming down it seemed. She had to smile.

She tilted her head forward. Nothing much. We have a cat attacking some of our members so we have decided to have more patrols and the like. It's a shame. they are dangerous beasts.

Nothing much was going on with Amalia, except that a wildcat kept attacking her comrades. Atreus’s head reared back, eyes flung wide and staring.

That’s not ‘nothing much,’ he refuted, shaking his head. They’re extremely dangerous, Atreus went on to agree. It it just, like, staking out and attacking you guys near the territory?

Amalia hadn't realized how nonplussed she had sounded until it was too late. It was concerned, certainly. However, it hadn't been near the territory it self, just some of her pack mates.

I know they are. She shook her head. No I misspoke. IT isn't near our territory, it has attacked some of our members elsewhere. one a rather young girl. But we are watching to see if it should encroach closer. Most wild cats stay away from heavily populated areas. That's not to say you don't have a crazy one in the bunch.

Amalia clarified the details of the cat’s attacks. Atreus felt better, at least on her behalf. He’d had half a mind to insist she come back to the canyon with him. It sounded like she was safe enough here, though he supposed he ought to be very careful on his way home.

Is she okay? he wondered, picturing this “rather young girl” as perhaps a wayward pup.

His worry was not unfounded and were the roles reversed. She'd have a fit. Want him to let her travel with him to the canyon and back. All sorts of the things. But She also knew he was almost a grown adult, regardless of the fact she still saw him as the scared little fella she had met so many moons ago.

I'm not sure. I'm not a healer. Her ears went to her head. She seemed okay, just in a lot of pain. Bridget will sort her right up.

He frowned, not sure what else he could say about it. He’d heard about a lynx attacking the Imperator and some other soldiers shortly before he’d come to Mereo. Actually, perhaps that’s where he’d heard of Caracal’s mom and why she’d retired to Epoch. It was neither here nor there now, though.

Did Alaric stay here with you? he wondered next, still trying to make conversation to balance the scales a bit.

This was the first time Amalia had ever had any dealings with such a thing. She didn't know much about Cats. Her brother Alaric however, he had dealings with them. She had told him horror stories.

Only for a little while, but he settled in a nearby pack. I think. What have you been doing lately? How do your trainings go?

He wondered what pack Alaric had joined, though it was mostly an idle thought. Atreus only cared insofar as he mattered to Amalia, though he supposed he could question her about it in order to learn more about the local packs. There seemed to be so many, he wondered if he would be able to keep track of them properly.

Before he had the chance, she distracted him with a question. He thought about telling her about what had brought him to Inkeri in the first place, how he’d gone around introducing himself to the nearby packs and gathering intelligence on them to report back to Germanicus. As a fellow scout, surely she would be interested.

Instead, he found his brow furrowing as he said, Something’s up in Mereo. I don’t know what. The Imperator recently took off on some mysterious mission. He asked me and some others to keep up our patrols and look after Fennec, his mate. But there’s something off about everything lately, pretty much ever since we moved to the south end of the canyon… Atreus trailed off with a shrug.

He stayed silent for a moment before a thought coalesced in his mind and he voiced it aloud, saying, I don’t feel close to anybody in Mereo. I didn’t used to care. I even liked it that way. But I don’t know. It was nice, feeling close to Ink. And I like visiting with you. Did you know you’re my only real friend, Amalia?

The thoughts whirred through his head. She could see it. The furrow in his brow as he thought hard about her question. It both hurt her heart and made her so proud. He had come such a long way since she had met him.

She frowned. That's not good. Do you think the new mate is changing things Or something else? That's concerning. Please promise me that if someting happens you will come here. No matter what you come find me. I will give you a home. Even if it's just temporary.

Amalia frowned. Oh, goodness no I didn't know that. But I am a firm believer in quality over quantity. I have you, Lestan and Maia. I don't know if i'd consider anyone else a friend. Once I had thought of my former leaders as such, but they and I grew apart. Do you want to find new friends or meet new wolves?

She nudged him gently. It's hard being lonely. I know.

Amalia had a lot to say about his updates. Atreus stayed quiet, letting her finish before he could even formulate a response. There were several questions at play and he wanted to give each some thought before answering.

I really don’t know, he said regarding the atmospheric changes in Mereo, and I have no intention of leaving. But if I change my mind about that, I’ll come here and let you know, first thing, Atreus promised.

He gave her second batch of queries a bit more contemplation before saying, I think I feel the same way: quality is more important than quantity. I don’t think I want to make friends just for the sake of it. It’s just that, meeting Ink… I guess I want that? I mean, clearly I’m not ready for a relationship… but someday, I guess?

That didn’t come out as articulately as he’d like, though Atreus knew Amalia wouldn’t judge him. And hopefully she understood what he was trying to say, even if he wasn’t entirely confident of his own point.

these two mke my wholesome hesrt hapoy

Amalia wasn't concerned about him leaving as much as somwthing happening to him. Swift changes tended to cause upheaval and sometimes bloodshed. She knew this personally as did Alaric. They had left for more than just leaving reasons. She fretted quietly, but nodded.

good.

Amalia nodded. someday you will have what you want. If you continue to grow and msture. And own up when you make mistakes you will do well. And I'm already quite proud of the young man you're becoming.

Thanks, Amalia, Atreus said, drawing in a deep breath through his nose and letting it out the same way.

He looked around, not sure if he should head home now or maybe hang out here a bit longer. He kind of wanted to ask for a tour, though he supposed he should get back to the canyon while there was still daylight, especially with a wildcat on the loose.

I guess I should get going… but before I do, I have to tell you one more thing.

She smiled and wiggled a little. You're welcome. He took a deep breath, good.

She wanted to offer him a tour, but maybe she could do that next time. She should probably get some permission first or something, because that felt like something that should be asked about. She was fairly certain Maia wouldn't care, but she didn't know about the other leader, being pregnant and all.

What do you have to tell me? She asked and met his gaze with a warm one of her own.

At the last second, he hesitated. Would Amalia be hurt by this revelation, especially since it was so long in coming? She didn’t know he’d told Inkeri the truth shortly after meeting her and supposed he would keep that detail to himself. But he had told Ink and, honestly, this was long overdue.

My name isn’t Icarus, Atreus told her, or Bear. It’s Atreus. You can call me that whenever you want, as long as it’s you and me. But keep calling me Icarus if you come calling at Mereo, ‘cause they don’t know my real name, and he didn’t think any of them had earned that honor.

But Amalia? She definitely deserved to know the truth. She should have been the first.