Sun Mote Copse Well I bet my soul on a six string gamble
Private  February 13, 2019, 11:14 AM
Colt
Firebirds
Sovereign
Second stop - @Niamh.  He'd spoken with Finley (jumpin the gun here oops) and had some ideas at least on what he wanted to do.  One was a notion, but... he needed to have the conversation with her.  What she wanted was what mattered, mostly, because Colt was pretty sure he could be ok with things as long as she was there next to him.

Yeah, these last few weeks had gone really well.

He figured she'd be near the borders, chasing coyotes or something equally interesting.  He was glad that even though she had stepped back, she hadn't completely changed.  He hadn't wanted that - he'd fallen for her after all.  The thought made him smile, and he picked up his pace a bit.
February 17, 2019, 01:11 PM
Niamh
Firebirds

Niamh had been mentally preparing herself for her body to throw her entire world into chaos- but every morning, she woke up feeling nothing other than ordinary. It was a relief for her, of course, knowing that her body hadn't chosen to make her even more of an emotional monster than she could already be, sometimes, and she was worried about the kind of effect it would have not only on her, but on her relationship with Colt. She was too paranoid about the whole thing crumbling apart if she suddenly couldn't control her own urges...And Niamh was an expert when it came to making irrational, brash decisions. 

She patrolled the borders as per usual, and was investigating some footprints not too far from the borders that were clearly those of a moose. Its path meandered this way and that, which was unusual for a creature so large, so she'd chosen to investigate- but as she stopped to smell the tracks, something seemed off. There was a musky smell to the moose's scent that was new to her, but familiar at the same time. It smelled old, unhealthy...But those were also signs that something had gone off, so even if the moose was old ad unhealthy, it might not have been safe to eat. Still- it was worth investigating. 

Nevertheless, when she spotted Colt in the distance, her spirits brightened and she trotted toward him, tail waving from side to side, showing obviously how pleased she was to have caught sight of him. Not thinking twice, she approached him, nuzzling her muzzle into the fur of his shoulder before she realized what she was doing- and stepped back, giving his shoulder a boyish bump with her nose, almost apologetically. "Found somethin' you might wanna see," She said. "Aside from me, of course."
February 17, 2019, 02:30 PM
Colt
Firebirds
Sovereign
Colt finally found her, and his smile matched hers as she approached eagerly.  Oh, yeah? Must be pretty good then, though I doubt it will really compare. He said, returning a few of the gestures, but unable to help the bit of distraction.  He had to talk to her too, about some.... stuff.  

And I have something to talk about.  Not a bad something, just a something.  He said, quick to add the second in case the first sentence worried her.  He smiled, but it probably didn't quite hide the unusual thoughtfulness that put a serious bent on his expression.  

Damn, was this a conversation he really wanted to have right now?
February 17, 2019, 06:48 PM
Niamh
Firebirds

She was pleased when he, as per usual, took her foolishness in stride, and used his sense of humour which almost always made her feel like she wasn't a complete idiot. Except for the few times he actually chose to use his jokes to make fun of her; those still ruffled her, but in a good way. He seemed to hold her in good regard though, with his remark, which encouraged the woman who wanted so much to please him. It was a bit misleading, all these times he said those nice things...She felt almost sure that he still cared about her- but at the same time, she was so hell-bent on not rushing things and inadvertantly crushing them that it made her nervous, too. He was the one who was supposed to set the pace- but he seemed to be keeping up with almost everything Niamh wanted. 

But when he said they needed to talk, she immediately felt stress prickle at the back of her neck. He assured her it wasn't anything bad, but he was clearly a bit nervous, which made her flatten her ears. Had she gone too far, greeting him like that? He'd been leading her to believe that everything she was doing was right- so she would be very hurt if he all of a sudden told her that he didn't want to remedy things. "Okay," She said, and regarded him expectantly, not quite sure she believed him when he said that he wanted to talk about something- but not something bad.
February 18, 2019, 02:03 AM
Colt
Firebirds
Sovereign
It occurred to Colt that he would be approaching a topic that generally didn't happen until after mateship, but nothing about their situation was ordinary.  He wasn't sure how she'd take his talking to Wildfire, but he knew this was a conversation that needed to happen before.  He didn't trust either of them once her season hit, himself less even than her.

I've been thinking, ever since that night, with the moon.  So I asked Wildfire what she thought of, yknow.... us and kids. There.  Not so bad.  

She said with my sister and her both planning on it, she didn't think she knew us well enough.  Least not yet.  He shrugged, trying as he had with Wildfire to keep it light.  Just a question, nothing more.  I figured it would be good to know, before.  He fell silent then, looking at her and completely unable to guess what her reaction to this would be.  Mad he'd ask without talking to her? Upset or disappointed (as he was)?  Or maybe relieved.  He didn't guess that one was likely, but minds could change pretty quickly.
February 18, 2019, 02:59 AM
Niamh
Firebirds

Her ears pricked back up when Colt mentioned the moon. That had been a nice night, and she felt that they'd been on the same plane with how happy they were to be somewhat together again. She was surprised to hear him bring that up, given the slight look of tension on his face earlier- until he went on to mention Wildfire, and then bring up the topic of pups. Naturally, Niamh was shocked- Colt had actually gone to ask Wildfire if they could have kids?! Was this where they were? It surprised her that he'd go to Wildfire before even talking to her about it- not that it was a bad thing, because it meant that perhaps he was actually starting to think long-term, in terms of their relationship...But it still didn't make a lot of sense, as good as it seemed to be. Colt wanted to have kids with her still- but he hadn't told her so, he'd instead gone to Wildfire to see if they could even be a possibility. 

She felt her heart sink, though, when it seemed like Wildfire had give them a soft no. Wildfire would be having a litter, and of course Elwood and Finley would be cranking out another batch of psychopathic little girls and actually pretty decent little boys. (Yes, Niamh still thought that all Blackthorn women were nuts, though Clover had lately begun to prove her wrong.) It made sense for her to be wary of bringing three litters into the pack, but it discouraged Niamh that they wouldn't likely be allowed to even try...And if they couldn't, it might mean that Colt might not want her as much, if they couldn't have kids. 

She still looked a bit shell shocked. "Well....Damn," She said, staring out into space as she tried to comprehend exactly what was going on. "So...But...If she'd said yes...Would you have wanted to have kids with me?" She asked. She assumed that the answer was yes- but she had to clarify, for her own sake.
February 18, 2019, 09:56 AM
Colt
Firebirds
Sovereign
He was slightly encouraged when she didn't look upset, though she definitely looked disappointed.  They could match on that.  And she wanted to know more, of course.  I wasn't sure, at first.  So I figured asking Wildfire, then I would know.  But hearing no was worse than I thought it would be. He confessed.  I think I'd like being a dad.  And I know I'd love seein you be a mom.  

He sighed.  But I'm not my sister or El.  And no matter how long we stay, I don't see them jeapordizing their kids for ours.  Can't really blame them.  This was one arena he felt it was fair to be a bit pessimistic in.  One - he had a fair bit of history with Wildfire's family, and if she spoke with anyone but Raven it was doubtful she'd hear much good.  Two - he loved Fin, and he loved his nieces and nephews.  It wasn't fair to try and make them share resources that might not be there, no matter how much he wanted his own shot.
February 18, 2019, 04:11 PM
Niamh
Firebirds

phone post bahhhhh

The answer that Niamh got wasn’t necessarily satisfying, and the more he explained, the more she felt conflicted. So he’d asked Wildfire if they could have kids when he wasn’t even sure he wanted to have them...He’d found out, apparently, that he did, but that didn’t necessarily strike Niamh as the right reason to approach their alpha for permission; and perhaps it had effected Wildfire’s response. Maybe she’d picked up on the fact that he wasn’t totally sure, and the fact that they weren’t mates. There was a small chance that Colt’s decision to jump the gun and ask in advance had possibly muted their chances of having kids that year. 

But at least he knew he wanted them, right? But again, he explained that he wanted to be a dad, and see her as a mom- but that didn’t paint a picture of them having kids together, because they loved each other, which was what Niamh wanted. He mentioned Elwood and Finley and that point went between her ears and over her head. She also couldn’t expect Elwood and Finley- who’d been mates since the stone age or something- to hold off on having kids just so Niamh and Colt could. She figured it was their last year to safely have kids anyway, and they deserved them. 

Still, she was fixated on his first resonse to her question. ”It’s one thing to want to be a parent- but we’d have to be in on it together. One hundred percent.” She said. [b]”I already know how I feel- I want you, and I want kids with you. It doesn’t seem like you’re sure- and that’s okay- but I think I get where Wildfire’s coming from. If we’re not on the same page, why should we have kids?l[/b{
February 18, 2019, 07:49 PM
Colt
Firebirds
Sovereign
lol!! You should be able to "change author" <3

Now she seemed to take issue, which was not the part he'd expected to take issue to.  Was it really a problem to want to know before you got your hopes up?  He tried to imagine planning it all - picking names for real, settling on the idea, only to have it denied then - and it didn't sit well.  At all.

You think I wouldn't be? He asked, but it wasn't angry.  Because honestly, a few years ago, he wouldn't be.  And he hadn't been.  There was an obvious connotation behind that, and he picked up the thread where he saw it.  I just wanted to know, before I let myself put it out there.  It's like every time I take a step forward, things go three back, and I'm not about to get my hopes up again.  Not until I'm sure.  That sounded awful, fuck, but it was honest.  I could give you my name so that we could have kids, again, right now.  But I don't want to.  And if me not means you don't want to have them, then that's fine.  He looked away, not liking that he was having to say it but trying to soften it.  I want it to be right.  It's getting there.  But I don't want it to fuck up again.  

They could raise kids together, and likely, those kids would bring them closer together.  He'd make her a mom, and be a dad, and make them and her a priority.  But he couldn't quite bring himself to ask her again, not when it had been the death knell on both attempts before.  Once literally, and once for their relationship.
February 18, 2019, 11:37 PM
Niamh
Firebirds

Niamh shook her head in response to his question but let him finish before she spoke, not wanting to interrupt him. He gave good reasons, of course- he'd simply not wanted to get his hopes up about them being together and deciding that they wanted to have kids together before being told that they couldn't, so she could understand why he'd gone to ask Wildfire first. Still, she'd approached things a bit differently, thinking that they should be together before they even asked- given that she expected not many alphas would grant breeding permission to two wolves unless they were in a stable relationship. 

​At the end of the day, though, she didn't feel betrayed or mad at him. She wanted kids- and she wanted to have his kids, but she was also ready to be his mate again, even though she knew he wasn't ready to ask her again, nor would he likely say that he'd be her mate if she asked him. She could dwell on the fact that Wildfire had more or less told them no- at least, as far as Niamh could tell- but instead she chose to be lightly disappointed with that fact, and more pleased that he'd actually taken a step toward their future together. She moved toward him and nuzzled her muzzle into the fur near the crook of his jaw. 

"I getcha." She said softly. "I want things to be right, too. And you know that you didn't fuck things up last time. I did." She said, hoping that he didn't feel like he was the one who had to fix things. "My feelings for you haven't changed- but I get it if yours have. And it'll take time for those feelings to come back. But if I have to chase them all the way to carnation and back, I will." She said. "I'm...Pretty touched that you asked her at all. Like if she'd said yes, that you'd want to have kids, maybe. That means a lot." She said. "I wouldn't want you to do it just for my sake, though." She said. She definitely wanted Colt to be in on things as much as she was. "'Cause god knows any children born of you and I are gonna be an effing handful and I can't handle those brats all by myself."
February 19, 2019, 01:06 AM
Colt
Firebirds
Sovereign
imma be opposite - laptop post, ooogh

He didn't argue with her, though he wasn't interested in playing the blame game anymore either.  Moving forward.  So far she'd done everything he'd needed and more, so he should want to get back to that place.  He did want to get back to that place.  He just didn't know how. 

It wasn't only that he felt like things always fell apart after.  It was also that they'd had the moment.  He'd already asked, she'd already said yes, and it had been perfect.  This time it needed to be perfect too, maybe even moreso, and so far it hadn't come.  He'd know it when he felt it, just like last time, but the chances were slim it'd come before her heat did, and fuck if he thought he could keep himself away from her then.

They aren't gone, he said, not even close.  If anything, they're better.  Which is why it has to be right.  Because apparently last time it really hadn't been.  They'd both had shit they hadn't brought to the table, yeah maybe Niamh moreso, but this time everything was out.  And I thought maybe it would be only for you.  But I really do think I want to be a dad, for myself.  A real one this time, he added silently, and his ears fell back a bit.  He did quirk up a smile at her joke, appreciating it.  Hell yeah they would be, a magnificent handful.  Only if they learn the right things.  Teach em right and they'll be two handfuls, easy.

God, this was going to be hard if she didn't change her mind.  You know what's funny?  Bet you everything Qui and Towhee wouldn't have had much to say against us a few months ago, if we'd have asked them.  Might not still, though he hadn't asked much about how things stood between her and Towhee.  Some things he figured he should keep his nose out of unless she talked about it first.  He guaged a reaction on that, wondering.
February 19, 2019, 03:09 PM
Niamh
Firebirds

XD lol

When Colt claimed that his feelings for her were even better than before, she felt pussled. Then why the hell weren't they back together already?! Then again, Niamh was the sort of wolf who often rushed things, and wasn't nearly as concerned about the process of becoming mates again as she was about simply tying the knot. Colt continued to speak, and she thought she'd sort of figured out why he hadn't asked her yet- and it made no sense to her. Wasn't the woman supposed to be the one who was super picky about where and when the proposal took place? He spoke about things being 'right,' and she felt that they already were...But she assumed he was talking about the time and situation where they'd become mates again. Maybe it was just because he was old fashioned that he cared so much- they hadn't taken too much time the first time, but he seemed to want a do-over, even though it meant that the impulsive millenial had to wait a bit longer. 

And she was reassured by the fact that he didn't just want to give her kids because she'd wanted them, nad already pictured them and had chosen names for them. Colt wanted them too, and agreed that they'd be a handful. "Horse'll be full of shit, Nag'll be whiny and spoiled and Donkey...Donkey'll just be an ass." She said, picking three of her favourite failed name choices to highlight the flaws with each of them. They definitely lended themselves to ridicule far too easily for her to give those names to her kids. She chuckled; she still liked the name Nag, though- but there was no way that one was going to fly.

He mentioned Quixote and Towhee, and she shook her head, before she nodded in agreement. "Yeh. Towhee especially would've been cool with us having kids. I wanted her to be their godmother," She said, trailing off faintly. She hadn't been totally transparent about how horribly things had gone down between the two of them, but she still had faith they'd improve over time. She chose to switch the topic so she didn't have to think about it too hard. "So when the time comes around this year, though- that's somethin' we've gotta talk about." She said. "'Cause if we're not allowed to have kids...And I dunno how out of control I'm gonna be. I've never like...Gone through a heat before, and I dunno if I'm gonna be able to keep myself away from you." She said. "I mean, we'll have a whole 'nother year of practicing babymaking, but like...I honestly don't know how I'm gonna get through this without like...Hunting you down and getting all needy and stuff. 'Cause apparently that's what happens." From what she'd heard, anyway.
February 20, 2019, 09:40 AM
Colt
Firebirds
Sovereign
Colt, for some reason, was definitely hung up on the moment.  He didn't know why the place, the time, and the conversation mattered so much, but it was probably in part because he was used to saying things that didn't mean much.  If he was going to say something that did, it needed to resonate.  Something had to set it apart in his mind.  Translate - he would have been one of those brides who turns that shit down if it's done on the couch in a casual conversation.

I like the sound of them already.  Say what you will about asses, but we get shit done.  Familiar joking territory - her sense of humor being back in force was one of the best things he'd found since their relocation here.

I'm going to have to take a trip or something.  Because no way if I'm around I'm going to be able to keep myself away from you either.  That would take a kind of willpower he knew damn well, from experience, he didn't possess.  But no way I'll be able to just leave either.  Fuck.  He wasn't about to run off and let anyone else in the pack mess with her around that time either.  No way jose.

If we fuck up - literally, he added, with a bit of a grin, before getting more serious again, There is the Caldera.  We could ask Quixote.  Ok now.  This he definitely said hesitantly, because he had zero clue how she would take it.  He'd asked her to leave, potentially screwed up whatever she had with Towhee, and now was offering to go back.  But he could explain, if she needed it.  He didn't hate making the comment, despite not really wanting to leave here.
February 21, 2019, 06:07 PM
Niamh
Firebirds

Though Colt agreed with the names, she knew he wasn't terribly serious- and nor was she. Naming a child Nag or Donkey was a pretty low blow from mother to child, and she'd already figured out other, better names that she felt Colt might approve of more. They may have to save them for the next year- which was a major bummer- but at least there'd always be another time, right? She had no way to know that there wasn't another chance for the next year, otherwise she might've been more pissed off. But ignorance is bliss. 

Colt confessed his plan for leaving, but Niamh wasn't having it, and she shook her head. "I'm gonna need you here." She said. She didn't want anyone else to be around- partially because she wasn't sure she could trust herself, and partially because she couldn't stand to have him going off on his own, where he might not come back. Anything could happen. He seemed to agree, and she was relieved that he couldn't bring himself to leave. His comment made her half-smile, but the smile faded when he mentioned the Redhawks. 

"I dunno...I'd go wherever you want to go. But I dunno what would happen if we went there. It'd be my first choice too, of course. She shrugged. [b]"I just wish things would work out here."
February 22, 2019, 12:49 PM
Colt
Firebirds
Sovereign
She didn't react terribly to the half-suggestion but she didn't seem thrilled either.  Which kind of surprised him.  Not the not thrilled part, but the fact that the hesitance seemed to be aimed at going back and not him suggesting it.  So she did like it here.

I like it here, he agreed.  Better than Redhawks by far.  It's worth seeing if she'll change her mind.  I just am not holdin my breath.  Fin and her had plans, and Colt and Niamh's just likely didn't line up.  None this year, and unbeknownst to him, this was his last shot.  Would be just like karma to make him want them just in time to never achieve it.

Maybe we can talk to her again, later.  If there's time.  They couldn't choose when her season came and they might not have a ton of time left.  She wanted to get dinner some night, me and you and her and Eljay.  The fact that she had given them a process was a good sign, he guessed, but in this one thing he figured he could afford to be a bit pessimistic.
February 22, 2019, 01:42 PM
Niamh
Firebirds

While Colt didn’t seem to think Wildfire might change her mind, Niamh wasn’t closed off to that being a possibiltiy- especially when Wildfire mentioned she wanted to go on a hunt with the two of them plus Eljay. She was reminded, then, of the moose she’d been tracking.

”Then we should get somethin’ cookin’ in that regard. I found moose tracks- but it doesn’t look so great. That’d be a great meal for the four of us,” She said. Maybe Wildfire hadn’t expected their dinner double date to be so soon- but Niamh knew she was a ticking time bomb and was keen on beating the clock. ”Howa bout you track her down, and I’ll check this fella out to see what the dealio is?”
February 24, 2019, 03:28 AM
Colt
Firebirds
Sovereign
She agreed and he nodded, smiling.  Can do, boss. He responded with a joking salute, then a nuzzle.

He knew it was odd, the timing of it all.  They'd only just gotten things working and he hadn't sought to re ask, but it felt right, and he wasn't going to try and argue against it.  Maybe Wildfire would prefer it if they were mates, but Colt didn't see that as an issue.  For one thing, wasn't her previous mate a lady? And she and Eljay definitely hadn't tied the knot, so it would be hella hypocritical for her to deny them based on that.  For the other, they didn't need it.  They were solid, and would continue to be, he knew it.  Mates or no.

So why not just make it yes? A small part of him thought.  For some reason, he couldn't.  Not yet.  

fade? <3
February 24, 2019, 08:50 PM
Niamh
Firebirds

Niamh lingered for a moment, savouring his touch before she watched him turn to go, and she did so simultaneously, swinging her tail with vigor so that she could “accidentally” give him a playful swat across his hindquarters. With a youthful giggle, she cast him a wink over her shoulder and took off.

They still had time yet; and she knew if she really put her mind to it, she could charm Wildfire into letting them have kids...Maybe.