Stone Circle oh, the humanity

Laurel had stuck to herself since the man had come to Easthollow. She had nightmares each night. She'd thought they would go away when she saw him dead in front of her, but they didn't. Maybe they got worse, even. She wasn't too sure. Laurel just tried to care for Charles, @Louie and @Riley as best as she could, which, honestly, wasn't all too well right now. The pack was supportive and lovely, but every time someone came to see her or bring her food Laurel just startled, shocked by the presence of another, fearful it might be him even though she'd seen him lay dead by her feet.

Oh, how wrong she had been every time she had thought of murdering him herself in her dreams, before that day. How very different reality had proven to be. How fragile and stripped to the core she was right now, even moreso than after he had taken her that first time.

Laurel lay by a stream and looked out across the water, thinking of the time she and @Piper looked for a stone for Lucas. Thinking of her poor, dead son. Thinking of @Indra, her dear sister, who gave everything for her time and time again and still it wasn't enough. Would it ever go away, the pain? Or would it just keep intensifying until the day she would die and have peace at last?

hope you don't mind me <3

Piper had noticed the way that her mother had changed. She had noticed and she had spiraled in her attempt to find a way to help. It plagued her every thought; that image of the man who had taken it upon himself to even approach Laurel. The young Redleaf girl had been so deeply bothered by the incidents that had taken place in her absence that she could only feel partially responsible for the misery that her sweet mother had suffered. It had gotten so bad that the young wildfire of a girl did not know if there could ever be a way that she could truly assist Laurel.
 
She had a rabbit clutched in her jaws as she searched for her mother. When she finally caught wind of her, Piper trotted swiftly in her direction until Laurel’s muted colors were in full sight. The young girl noted the expression on her face before anything else. The look of it was enough to wrench her heart. She approached slowly and dropped her head with a soft smile, placing the rabbit at Laurel’s paws.
 
“Hey, ma… how are you feeling?” Piper inquired softly. It was difficult to hide the worry in the back of her voice.

Even though she recognised the footfalls that approached, Laurel still felt her throat tighten and her heart clench. Heart thrummed heavily in her chest - felt like it'd bounce right out of her ribcage - and she turned her head sharply to look at Piper. Defensively raised hackles fell again at the visual reminder that it was her daughter that approached, and Laurel forced a smile on her face, however meek it was. She was glad Piper was here, and she was glad to see her, truly she was, but right now it was just hard being happy about anything at all.

The question didn't help any. How did you explain a feeling like this to someone like your own daughter? It was impossible. Laurel had never explained the extent of the horrors that the man they had killed had done upon her but she was afraid that Piper might know nonetheless. She hated the thought that her own daughter might know the nature of the conceiving of her children. It made her feel sick to her stomach. I'm fine, Laurel said, her tone friendly though there was a quiver in her voice that betrayed she wasn't truly 'fine'.

’I’m fine…’
 
Piper’s expression scrunched up, crinkling the bridge of her muzzle and revealing the tip of an ivory canine from beneath her lip. The wildfire of a girl shook her head and chuckled softly. It would have been funnier if it wasn’t so sad – if the look on Laurel’s face was not as heartbreaking – and if all those terrible things had never happened to them. Still, in spite of the grave circumstances for their existence there, Piper Redleaf took it all in strides.
 
“Oh, yeah, that’s convincing,” the red and ivory young woman remarked. Her tone dripped with sarcasm. Piper turned her head just slightly in order to peer at her mother from the corners of her eyes. It wasn’t entirely obvious that she was digging for more information, but there was something on her face that would have hinted as much. She just wished that her family did not have to endure any more pain.

It was clear that Piper was none too happy with her mother's reaction and didn't buy it, but it didn't deter Laurel in her quest of pretending to be fine. She had never been one to dwell on her miseries. This was mostly the case because she knew if she dwelled on them she would be unable to claw her way out of the pit she created for herself. If she faced what hell her life had been then she would be unable to live. Everything felt so pointless, but Laurel did not want it to be that way, and pretending that it wans't seemed like his best bet at getting there.

Piper wasn't having any of it and Laurel wasn't too sure how to even respond to her scepticism. She felt angry at the sarcasm - as if she did not have reason to lie about her well-being! any other had received a 'what sort of dumb question is that?!' to start with - but it was hard to be angry at her precious children. Well, what do you want me to say? she said, her voice sounding as tired and defeated as she felt. Laurel just didn't know how long she could continue to fight before she would eventually break and crumble apart.

Maybe it would have been better for Piper to reserve her usual sass – to wait until her mother had started to feel better. There was still the chance that she never would feel better. The man who had assaulted her had really done a number. If the young wildfire had anything to do about it, she would have ripped his throat clean from his body and offered it to Laurel as a gift. Instead, they were left with an awkward exchange and a painful expression.
 
“I don’t know… maybe the truth?”
 
The fire that burned in her pale gaze did not falter as she looked to her mom. Many things had taken place from the time that she had been born alongside her siblings to that moment, standing in the hollow. Piper had grown. She still had a dangerous sharpness to her tongue, and she did not like to back down from anything, but she had grown. It was about time Laurel saw that.

The truth. If there was one thing that Laurel wasn't going to share, it was the truth. She often wondered what she was doing it all for. Her children, she supposed, but even they ran away from her and what would become of her youngest? An aunt who did not want them there, a stark reminder even to their mother of the man who had destroyed her life in ways different than the father of her first litter... What should become of them, no matter how hard Laurel tried to give them all the love that she could? She feared for that every day, wondered as they played roughly with one another. What if they became like their father? Was there any amount of love that could remedy that happening?

Laurel's face scrunched up into a frown and she said: I don't think you do. You think you do, because you think it'll make things better, but it won't. This is just something we have to get through, we... Laurel inhaled deeply as she thought of Lucas. Poor Lucas; she could not even salvage his body and even though the man was dead, she would never dare to visit the corpse again to give it a proper rest, too scared he may show up even outside of what Nunataq might try. She was gripped by fear even now, fear of a dead man that could no longer hurt her. We'll get through this. They would. They always had. They had to.