Stone Circle are we awake, or are we asleep?

attn @Valette or @Greyback or @West Tyree

 

Although Leta had been sad lately, she had done her best to not let it effect her. Leta tried to think on all the good times she had with her aunt and Kaito, but realized something else... she had not been spending nearly enough time with the wolves that she loved. What if she had lost her mother, or her father? What if it had been West? Spica had unwittingly made her aware that it was possible to lose a father. Nanook had been strewn out before her and her children were now without a mother. 

Leta could not bear the thought of living in a world without either. 

And as for brothers, Leta had lost two, physically. Clay had come home, but had not even looked for her. She wanted to give him space, but also worried that he might not have wanted to see her again... but was hardly given enough time to find out. Maybe her dad or her mom could give her some wisdom there. But West... West had always been there, and Leta felt bad for not being there as much as she could for him. 

And so she more-than-absently searched for any one of her immediate family, nervously licking her chops as she went.

Valette had been by the stones, as she usually was. Only now the circle was disturbed, the ground by Nanook's stone was still dirt. She sighed, and sat by her sister's grave. She wondered how things would go with Nanook's children. She had thought of them young, but clearly not young enough to know that their mother was gone. She would try what she could but she would never be able to replace them.

Then there was Sia who was devastated. She had told him to step down from leadership as he was not fit to lead, and should try to get his life back on track. It was extremely hard, the female knew this. However, if he wanted those pups to survive and not grow up in a world of sadness, then... he had to. Valette just hoped that she could shower the little ones with positivity and brightness so they would know the world was not all dark.

Arlette worried her as well. She had been reluctant to move, let alone allow someone close to the bodies of Kaito and her still borns. It was not a pretty sight, but Valette didn't feel comfortable convincing her daughter to bury them. She already saw her mother in a bad light. Arlette's wounds also caused worry, the deep gashes could easily get infected. Her ears caught movement and Valette turned her head. Leta.

She smiled at her daughter. "Hi Leta," she greeted and gave her daughter a lick and a snuggle in greeting. "I'm sorry that you had to see the cougar attack. I know things are pretty upsetting at the moment," she sighed and looked at her daughter with an apologetic glance. She had wished for her daughter to just grow ups without a worry in the world. Though, she realized such things are impossible.

Leta was glad to see her mother. Alive. Well. Her cousins were not so lucky, she realized suddenly, and was quick to pick up her pace and attempt to bury her head into her mothers shoulder as gently as possible. Breathe her in. Inhale her life. Exhale the idea of her death. Alive. Alive. Alive. She felt guilty for her relief, and pressed her eyelids tightly as if this would make the feeling go away. 

It was awful, she murmured, potentially muffled by her mothers furs should the embrace have landed. I am so glad you're okay, mama, she withdrew to get a good look at Valette, gaze flitting from the tip of her nose to the end of her tail as though she could memorize all the little things about her. The changing furs, that to Leta had never lost their sheen. The wetness of her nose. The curve of her tail, and how the wind caused it to sway just so when it picked up as it did in this moment. I love you. I... I want to be stronger, mama, but I don't know what I would do... if I lost you, or papa, her cheeks were warm with her own embarrassment, but it was the truth. How could she be strong when she felt so weak?

Valette could only nod in agreement. It was more than awful, to say the least. She had lost not only her sister but perhaps also her daughter. She hoped that Arlette would be okay. She had pretty much ruined things with her and how she behaved. She offered a soft smile to Leta when she admitted that she was okay. Valette just leaned into her embrace. "I am glad that you are alright as well," she spoke. Leta had also been through much already in her life time.

"But Leta, you are already so strong. You must not forget that. It was very brave how you stayed and gave comfort to who needed it." Valette didn't want her to forget that. "There will always be things that we cannot fight or will not win from. It might be that one day it will be me," she ended in a whisper. "As much as I don't want that, I won't lie to you that one day I might be gone, or you papa. It will be difficult for sure. But I know that you will strong enough. You must remember that if your father or I am gone that we want you to smile and be as happy as you can be. Because that would make us happy as well."

She let out a soft sigh and grew sad. "I am so sad that my sister died. But I just know that she wouldn't want me to be sad. She would want me to live and be happy until I join her. If I think like that then it gets a little easier. Only a little." She would probably break down later tonight, crying, when alone with Greyback. But in this moment, every wolf in this pack needed a leader that would hold things together.

Leta, truth be told, did not like what she heard from her mother. 

It made her want to run fast and run far. That what happened to her aunt might, and inevitably would, happen to her mother...? Leta did not want to see it. Not to her, not to her father—she sucked in a breath and felt monumentally weaker for the epiphany. I'm not, came her watery words, I'm not strong enough for that, she breathed, moving then to push her head against her mother to breathe all of her in and nuzzling deep. She was not a child anymore, that much she knew... but daughters needed their mothers, she felt. Leta would always need Valette. 

She blinked away tears as she listened to her mothers advice. We... we can try to be happy, she agreed, but is it... it's okay to be sad for a little while, isn't it? She asked, ears flattening atop her crown as she looked to her mother. She just could not imagine feeling happy now... not so soon. Not after all they had seen.

Valette smiled softly at her daughter. She was so pure and kindhearted. Even after all that happened to her, she was glad that it hadn't scarred her too much. Valette disagreed with her daughter. "You are so strong, Leta. I see it, so I hope you will realize it too," she disagreed and spoke those words full of faith. "But I don't plan on going pr leaving you. So don't worry," she hummed, nuzzling her right back. It was nice to have this with Leta.

Valette smiled and placed a kiss on top of her head. "We can. Because we lost someone who is dear to us," she returned to her. "Perhaps happiness is not the right word for me to use. Acceptance that it happened is perhaps a better word." she admitted to her daughter.

Leta only wished she could understand what her mother saw in her, so that she might grab hold of it within her and bask in it so that the rest of her might become that way in reality. So that she might feel it. As it were, she pursed her lips—not quite frowning—at her mothers response. She trusted Valette implicitly enough to know that there was something in what she said that someway, somehow, must be true. 

She sucked in a breath as she listened to her mother speak. Her mother, so full of wisdom and strength and bravery herself. Mama, she chirped, how did you become so strong? And brave? she asked, shifting nearer to her.

Valette looked at ther daughter. It seemed there was no defense to her previous words. She was glad that they got the younger female to think. It might not have been acceptance yet but it was a start. Valette refocussed her attention to Leta when she called her. She was surprised by the question. "I don't feel brave or strong. Let me say that first," she commented to her daughter so she qould know that even she was still doubtful of how to be brave and strong.

"But the reason why I can come across as strong is because I already had a life full of bad things happening. Now, I am not saying I had a bad life, most certainly not. Without the bad moments, well, there also cannot be happiness. Because then you wouldn't know what happiness is," she spoke, thoughtfully so. "When I was young, 8 months, I lost my mother, before that my mother and father split so I also lost him when I was even younger. Then my sisters left, and.. Oh Leta. Now I think of it, I had so many wolves leave whether it was through death, accident or unknown reasons. I just know how to cope with it, I think," she sighed and offered a soft smile. "Plus, the pack. Easthollow needs me. If I am not there to guide them, who will? So I guess that helps as well."