Northstar Vale With our final breath

Scarred veteran made his way through the pack lands. Taking to heart what Lady Tamar had said. He had to trust that Meadow would speak with him of her wants, needs, thoughts, whatever it maybe when she was ready. For now he was learning the pathways that wound through the vale. The rivers and streams that bubbled and chattered with icy clogs at the moment. The tall trees and the animals that made their home there. It would be beautiful here in spring.

There wasn't much to be done on a day like today. And until he found out exactly how the teaching worked, he was on his own. He didn't miss Mereo as much as he thought he would. It was with dawning realization that forcing himself into the role of soldier at such a place. It had also helped to press the symptoms of his brain to overload as well. Akashingo and exhaustion had just been the final straw.

He found himself beneath a small tree, with blue eyes looking out over the vail. Fur along his ruff stayed up as he was vigilant, but he took a breath and then another.

She found him—steadfast beneath a tree. He had come to Epoch, and Meadow hadn’t been sure what to make of it. The decision had been made during a rather tumultuous time in their relationship and while she appreciated the gesture—had needed the gesture—there was still an uncertainty and guilt that clung to her, weaving its way through her conscience.

She watched him for a moment—knowing the cold winter wind would give way her presence soon, if her steps had not to a man who would likely always be a solider. He had been forced into retirement, he had told her—but she didn’t know what that meant. Germanicus had deemed it so, and yet Reyson insisted he would have made the choice to come here regardless… and she believed that.

Reyson, above all else, had never seemed to lie or try to play word games with her. And there was a certain bitterness that lingered on her shoulders after leaving Germanicus at the lakeshore.

Reyson had known that his movements had come at a bad time. However, he had done so because Fennec had told him. Well she told him what he already knew and just didn't put together.

Meadow's scent came on the wind and scarred head moved to look for her. Ice blue's honing in on her small figure as she stood in quiet repose. He knew that he had to prove that he had moved because he wanted too, not because of his retirement. But he was uncertain how to do so.

Hello Meadow. he called to her and shifted. He'd stand to meet her. He just needed to stretch for a moment.

He noticed her—turning icy eyes to her and then stretching. She steeled herself in this moment—her mind still whirling from the events of days past and high emotions. He had accused her of desiring attention from the Pharaoh, and he had left—he had apologized, and she was able to forgive him of both those—particularly when neither had been malicious in intent.

What she was having a hard time doing was forgiving herself, and that was where the two had come to a stand still—so disgusted with herself, so frightened and upset for her pack mates, she had withdrawn… and it had become glaringly obvious now, as she looked at the hesitance between them both.

But she didn’t move closer to him, and even as she reclined slowly to settle herself in a thoughtful sit, her eyes were fast upon him, a paw lifting to signify he shouldn’t approach her—Reyson had a way of practically burying her into him when she was upset, and right now… right now she needed clarity.

“I never really did tell you what happened between the Pharaoh and I,” she began slowly, eyes studying him—unsure he was ready to even discuss the man, given his state since his tour.

The veteran still felt guilt for how he had behaved, but her words had surprised him. That didn't take away the cruelty that he spoke. But she had forgive him and that was good, but he still needed to work on dealing with the guilt.

Reyson froze at her words, and his heart fell at her motions. A frown marred his scarred face, and he blinked. Quickly wondering if this was the end, and it made his chest tight. He had to gulp some air, and calm his thoughts.

But her next words and he tilted scarred head, narrowed eyes. Trying to put to place what she wanted. He curled his tail around paws.

Alright. But are you ready to talk about it?

That was what he was worried about. he didn't give two shits about his moods or his mental issues. He wanted to make sure she was comfortable enough to talk about it all. And he could share if she wanted, but his episodes were pretty cut and dry.

“When I came back and Tamar found me… She was completely shaking with tears, Reyson. I’ve never seen her—“ She hushed, swallowing, training her thoughts. It would do no good to dwell on just that one specific moment. She inhaled deeply and exhaled, centering herself, nodding to him. Yes—she needed to talk about this. “When I say that… I did this, that I brought the attention of Epoch to Akashingo, there’s more to it than I think you understand and know. And because of that… Maybe you think I’m overreacting. Being foolish? I don’t know.”

She exhaled again. “First, I want you to know nothing happened between him and I. I’m not sure why that’s the suspicion of everyone regarding this topic… I was very forthcoming with him when we first began our introduction.” She leveled him with a stare—her heart hammering—“I let him know that I belong to you and you belong to me. I was very clear on that.”

I would assume that is is common knowledge that Pharaoh gets the Fellahan first. And he would have heard it being that he was there for amonth, but I can absolutely change this if needed. Because sometimes assuming turns you into an ass

Reyson studied her and then spoke softly. I know she got upset when she was talking to me. I understand that there is something there that is not for everyone to know and it causes her great pain.

Reyson shifted and stood, he paced for a minute working off the energy. I understand enough to know that something happened to Tamar there, something bad and she doesn't want to talk about it. Perhaps the pharoah didn't know they were here, or perhaps he wishes to torture them with something. I don't know. But i do know whatever it is bad.

Reyson sighed and studied her. Because of the fellahan. You know who trains them before anyone else Meadow? You realize what they are there for yes? They are there for the pleasure of others and the pharaoh he gets first pick and he always gets the untrained first. I know that just from the rumor mill of the castle.

A thrill went through him at her words and he had to put his head down for a moment to take a breath. I made the distinction as well to any I talked too.

“Tamar has a very good reason for her reaction to Akashingo—I won’t betray her trust and go into the reasoning of it. But the Pharaoh didn’t know their whereabouts… and now he does. Because of me.” She swallowed, gaze shifting away from Reyson, head turning—unable to even look in his direction should she feel the weight of disappointment on her shoulder only become heavier with any thoughts of his own projected from his gaze. “He played me in that way. He directed the conversation in so many ways to get what seemed like harmless information from me—and then he wanted me to deliver them gifts from him, knowing very well the fear it would instill in them. He played me like a puppet.” The words dry in her mouth—she hated this feeling.

“I have spent years looking for family, Reyson. Tamar and Arsenio have welcomed me graciously and it’s me who has endangered them and their family. When you tell me ‘nah, don’t worry, they don’t blame you,’ it belittles me. It makes it sound like it’s no big deal, but it is.” With this, she jutted her chin up, eyes, fiery once more, finally seeking him. “Because I finally found a family and I will do whatever I can to protect them.”

And then—the fellahan. She snorted. “I’m naive, Reyson but not stupid nor blind. I’m not a pleasure servant nor do I care to be compared to one.”

He said nothing about Tamar's reaction. he had figured as much, and it wasn't his business. If she wanted to tell him that was for her to do. And he respected Meadow even more for not willing ot tell him, despite that they were an item. Though as she continued, his heart tightened painfully in his chest.

That's the type of wolf he is. Most wolves raised in that type of opulence and with royalty can talk to get what they want. He knew it well enough, had been on the receiving end of such a silver tongue before. Even with the Pharaoh.

I know you will. he said quietly.

Reyson frowned and shook his head. That's not what I meant. I was afraid that he would try and force you. It worried me. I know very well that you would never do something so callously to me.

But then he wasn't sure anymore. Meadow he found was more complex than even he could have fathomed. Not that it was a bad thing, it just took some adjustment on his end.

“I…” She frowned—forced her. There was a certain frustration to that point—if only because while she would swear up and down that may the higher powers above help whomever tried to force her once she was done with them, she knew she was tinier—a survivor, yes. But not invincible nor with great prowess for battle.

But boy, was she stubborn.

“If I was forced, you would know.” Because she would fight—and the injuries sustained would be visible to see.

She huffed now, gaze softening—the fire leaving her in a moments notice. Had she known his thoughts she likely would have wept more—not that these days it seemed to take much. “I ran in to Germanicus at the lake earlier,” she finally supplied, her tail curling around her haunch. “He was… not pleasant.” That was putting it mildly—he had looked at her with such disdain and hate it had left her numb in the wake of his stare, emotionally. “He knows what Akashingo is capable of and still… allies with them. And then he wanted to know the details of what transpired in Akashingo—but at least he called a spade a spade and confirmed my foolishness.” She huffed out, a paw lifting to brush at her cheek, stressed.

Reyson had no doubt that his tiny healer would fight with everything in her. And she may just win, but there was also that small part of him that knew in cases like that. you didn't always win, no matter how hard you tried. And that, that was what scared him. Because the Pharaoh was one you didn't know what he was capable of.

A small smile lit up his blue eyes. I'm aware. He nodded.

Reyson frowned and listened. It didn't sit well with him that the Imperator had been unkind to Meadow, who up until this point they seemed to get along well at least when they met or talked of one another. They were not friends, but they were not bitter enemies either. So this development surprised him a little.

Reyson wanted to ghost forward, but she had told him to stay put so he dug his paws deeper into the dirt and loam beneath his paws, physically anchoring himself to the ground. So he didn't press her boundaries.

Reyson shook his head, but said nothing about Germanicus calling her a fool. He didn't agree, but she had made it clear she didn't want him to tell ehr she wasn't wrong. She felt guilt for this and he couldn't blame her. He had a small part in it too, didn't he. He could have argued, stayed.

I'm afraid I don't know the dealings of Germanicus and Akashingo, but he seems on friendly terms with the crown prince, Makono. But what that means. I couldn't tell you. They would often have private meetings, and she stayed longer than she was supposed to for her training if memory serves.

The information Reyson provided was strange to her—but she couldn’t place much emphasis on it, other than confirming that Germanicus would potentially side with the lavish packlands over Epoch, especially given their recent tumultuous run in.


Her eyes were tired as she studied the soldier before her. She would mention perhaps Reyson discuss this with Arsenio—and yet, she could not bring herself to make such a recommendation. Akashingo had caused the man before her to spiral—she couldn’t ask him to further delve himself into its matters.

“Reyson,” she began, her voice sounding almost distant. Uncertain—tiny. “Am I… Am I the reason your PTSD flared up?”

Reyson frowned in thought. He would tell Arsenio on his own. If Meadow was this worried then it bore thought that he needed to tell someone else too. It made his stomach hurt that he would give information out about his former commanding officer, but if Germanicus was in bed with Akashingo. Well.

Her words hit him like a ton of bricks and he moved forward as swift as he could. His tone sharper than he meant to be. Of course not.

He forced himself to stop from within a few inches of her, not reaching out she had asked him not to touch her.

It was because I was on edge at Akashingo itself. From the time I got there, my back was against the wall. I was bombarded by all the royals trying to feel out what I was doing there, what I may say. And then I couldn't sleep there. I am a vigilant wolf and someone was always moving and walking around. I couldn't sleep. Add the paranoia from the constant whisperings and then not sleeping. My brain went into overdrive.

He shot toward her with a swiftness that surprised her for such a large man—so much so that she awkwardly fell back slightly, catching herself and staring at the haphazard motion, and then he stopped—his words just as rapid as he had been.

She didn’t understand why those of Akashingo would be suspicious of their allies—allies placed there, in order to obtain further rank. There was so much to the history of these wolves—to the politics of it, and she opened her mouth to question, but just as quickly clipped it shut.

Because she just didn’t care. She didn’t care about the whys or hows… What she cared about was Epoch, and it remaining the safe haven it had been—she cared about Reyson, and him finding peace in a place he didn’t feel unsafe in.

And finally—her eyes sweeping over him, her heart hammering in her chest: “I’m happy you’re here, Reyson,” she whispered.

The veteran hadn't meant to scare her. But it was clear he had. She backed up and watched him. But she didn't seem incredibly wary, just surprised.

Reyson knew creatures like Akashingo's royals well. They had gotten to the top of their towers usually by bloodshed and they were always afraid their secrets would find them in the end. It was the way of things.

A smile lit up his face and blue eyes and he dipped his head down. I'm glad to be here. A low chuckle rumbled in his chest.

There was a certain air of tension between them—and she glanced up at him, her eyes sweeping over him, a light frown dampening her features, russet-tipped tail curling gently against a haunch. “I… Can I have a hug, now?”

Vulnerable, always. And she hated it, so much.

He felt it and hated it. It was tight and harsh and made his chest hurt. A small smile at her words then a blown breath.

God yes. and he pulled her into a tight hug. Paws holding her as close as she'd allow.

“Move forward?”

Her voice, small and hesitant—waiting for him to shut it down. And yet he enveloped her—his warmth surrounding her, and she greedily pulled it in, pressing tightly to him, muzzle lifting to kiss along his nape and chin, where she could reach—trying with everything she had to push away the negativity of the past spiraling few weeks.

always. He spoke softly and brushed muzzled across the crown of her head.

There was many things that had happened in the last few weeks. Many things that had shaken his core and his mind set, but he was good now. For the most part though he was just glad to have a better standing with her.

“Okay,” she whispered, pressing her cheek more fully to his chest, listening to the beat of his heart. And then—diving in, because apparently it was all or bust: “We could think about finding a place just for us to settle in? Now that you’re here…”

Everything was right with his world at this exact moment. His brain wasn't cutrently messed up, his woman was happy or at least sort of happy with him again. She was back in the circle of his arms. He could handle this, and anything thrown at him.

Her next words, and he blinked in surprise, but pleased. He made a soft churr in his chest.

I'm fine with that, as long as there's trees nearby. That's my only condition. There was something comforting to the scarred veteran about trees. Something he enjoyed and felt a sense of safety under them.

“Trees,” she agreed, steady against him, breathing out softly. “Trees, and maybe a place a den could be made, for… for when we might need it.” A sharp intake of her breath was given, her nerves fluttering. She knew he didn’t like enclosed spaces—but at some point, it would become necessary. “And a place where I might be able to have a garden, for herbs and such…”

A twitch of his muzzle. Pleased that she accepted his only condition. Though her next words simultaneously made his blood draw cold and then heat up. He didn't like enclosed spaces, but for her he would try. However, he also knew that how he reacted was what would push them forward and move them back. So he made a soft hmm noise.

If you want our den so that you can grow a garden nearby, then we're gonna want it near a water source. But we'll have to have enough space to dig it out further as we need more space.

Fade with you?

She hummed softly—sadness still enveloped her. A sense of longing, of loss, regret… But she would need to move onward, and so, pulling from him, she began to coax him along, eyes glancing up, a small smile trying to pull at the otherwise sad corners of her mouth. “There’s no rush—we’ll find a nice spot to settle.” For now, she would lure him for a walk—anything to try to re-enter a certain mundane existence for now.

Thank you for the thread. Another some time? <3

There was a set of melancholy to his little healer. And he had no idea how to fix it, nor did he know how to bridge the gap. It would take time, but he was determined to fix it.

I'm good with that.

He followed behind her and then moved into step with her. And if she'd allow he'd talk of silly things. Little things. Anything to keep her mind from all the things that had happened.