Bitterroot Valley subterranean homesick blues

'okay'

she's not quite sure what she was expecting him to say, or why such an impassively flung word hit with enough strength to make her flinch as if it were dipped in venemous animosity. she blinked distractedly after the departing figure of alsek as he wandered into the embrace of vibrant bliss, teeth picking idly at her lip as her heart bet with furious vehemence against an aching chest. 

'okay'

she is a right fool and the word seems to echo with mocking sneers about her mind as trembling ears press tight against her skull. no one warns you quite how hard that part is, watching the indifference leaking from the pores of those unaffected as they roamed about their daily lives whilst yours lay shattered and unrecognizable at your feet. no one warns you of the burning, raging inferno of longing to make them all just stop, the want to be seen and to be recognized for what you suffer by everyone. she swallows thickly, willowy limbs tensing under her crouched figure to push her to a sit; gaze now averted as she frowns hard at the grinning life radiating about her. 

when did it become expected of you to take pain on the chin and struggle through, when exactly did you cross that threshold when you could no longer run crying to your parents or the nearest adult? it wasn't exactly like someone chose one day to pull the curtains and announce that play time was over. she needed a really, really long nap. 

she turns an afflicated look back to the verdant eyed boy when he spoke again, teeth gritting. structure? family? her head shakes a little, the sizzling anger blowing out meekly as she exhaled lowly. the claws of weariness suddenly too tight to hold onto such a fiery emotion and the thought that she'd frolicked through these jeering flowers only moments prior suddenly seemed absurd. so much for the hopes of mundane chats with someone her age. "i don't...i'm not trying to steal him i found him all alone, none of your pack in sight. and structure and family? thery're..you cannot throw around structure when it's just shoving him back into a hole of pity because his family...i shouldn't have to say it. i know he's soft, that's why i wanted to let him marvel at his flowers and enjoy the world rather than grow bitter at what it stole from him" and once again, that roaring burn in her guttering gaze, begging for the release of tears and yet remaining so painfully dry. "if he wanted to go home once, i would bring him back without question but..i'm not going to let anyone force him back there"

she looked over to the little blackbird, heart constricting tightly in her chest. surely it is what papa would have wished, for his dove to find him and remind each other of these little beautiful things life had to offer. she looked back to the earthen boy, still chewing anxiously at her lip and asked somewhat tentatively "can i ask you your name?"