Dragoncrest Cliffs i loved you, atthis, long ago

Erzulie’s words weren’t quite what Njord anticipated. The past few weeks had been such a violent storm of emotions that the seafarer expected the Ruby to harbor only ill sentiments. Njord guarded his heart, telegraphed by the low cant of his ears, and listened.

What she said made sense logically, but Njord couldn’t help but sense a twisted feeling in his heart. Was it anger? Betrayal? He had been thrust into emotional purgatory by the ones who he considered family because they couldn’t stomach a conversation with him. Maybe he was wrong to ever think of them as a family at all.

But couldn't blame her. Regardless of his intentions, he had hurt Meerkat and his children. The man could never express the new adversity he faced to his mate, for she had endured so much more. Perhaps Erzulie would be willing to listen and help him set his burdens down. Her warm expression disarmed him and Njord found himself saying more than he meant.

“It’s been ‘ard… comin’ home an’ made tae feel a pariah. Meerkat knows it. Tha children sense it.” His voice grew labored and quaked, strained like a failing dam.  “I av’ always tried… thought I was a good man but… but the others ‘av shown me m’not.” If everyone else thought he was a terrible person, perhaps that was the truth. He felt Sobo's eyes on him, then.

“Some days... some days I feel so bad. Sick." He started to choke up. Something about putting words to his feelings unraveled him and his voice grew more passionate. "Apologizin' and tryin' tae move on... mend what's been broken. Stayin' optimistic even though I look at tears an' untrustin' faces day in an day out." The facade had worn his heart thin.

"Some days I wonder if it would av’ been better not comin’ home at all,” he reflected morbidly, surprised that he had said the thought out loud. Maybe his body should have washed up on the shore like Merlin's.

“I needed… we needed help. But now we’ve been left ta think we don’t belong in Sapphique anymore,” he revealed, the conversation with Meerkat fresh on his mind.

Something about that crossroads sobered him and steadied his constitution. Njord sniffled and pulled himself together. He shook his head as if to brush off an insect. "Sorry," he muttered, "that was a lot."