Stone Circle there's a beautiful sadness that runs through him

all welcome but grumpy guts is persistent and looking for @Clay
backdated a day or two so that it's a day or so after the first thread

she wasn't going to look for him because she didn't seek trouble and so what if he'd decided he didn't like her, it's not like she cared. no, she'd dutifully ignore the frustration raging riot in her gut ever since he'd acted as if she'd declared she was going to tie him to a pole and set fire to him for all to watch. no his actions didn't bother her one single bit-

which didn't exactly add up to the way her vigilant gaze lingered hopefully on every nook and cranny where she might spot a shift of grey or a stab of green. although after all the vehemence he'd managed to cram into that gaze last time, part of her withered a bit at the idea of willingly putting herself before it once more. it was almost a shame that that part of her wasn't more dominant, maybe then she'd just put that little incident to bed and focus more on the fact that she was leaving to seek her family in a few days. maybe that was why she was so determined to see this out, it proved a good distraction to nibbling anxiously at paws whilst mulling over all the endless possibilities that surrounded this paradox surrounding her family's fate. or perhaps, she just really didn't like being treated as if she was an asshole by the one who was quite clearly, being the asshole. 

she sighs heavily, prowling aimlessly across the moon bathed floor. shadows clutched desperately at her pelt with each step as she grew lazier with her glances. she didn't even know the territory yet, he could be anywhere, that was if he was even here; who was to say he wasn't off wandering. she blinked up to the star scattered sky high above, tail limp at her hocks. did her family really look up to the same sky now? was there a chance that right now perhaps lainie or kavik had glanced up and observed the benevolent twinkle of those same faraway stars? it was oddly reassuring and she leaned back on her haunches, unwilling to be the one to break any possibility of such a connection.

As he suspected, it didn't take long for the dove to seek him out—though she was quite slow at finding him. He'd been watching her wander around his perch on a pile of rocks for quite some time, and it was only when she passed by thrice that he sighed and gave up. As much as he didn't want to talk to her, the boy felt a bit bad that she was so stubbornly looking for him.

"Hé, (Hey)" he called, his impression garbled from the unknown language. "tu ... m'as fait... peur? (you... gave me a.... fright?)" Clay was uncertain he said that incorrectly, but it was all he could muddle together after a broken memory. He wondered if she would remember the first words they exchanged as he lazily eased himself from his laying position, stretching his legs and shaking out his ragged fur before stepped out from the shadows and into the moonlight. He gazed down at the dove with an emerald gaze, their color glinting in the night.

she jumps as a voice cuts through her reverie, and eyes widen slightly before dropping to accompany the scowl pulling itself across her features. had he been there the whole time? that was, her teeth grit a little, quite embarrassing but it's quickly discarded when he continues to speak. she blinks rapidly at the familiar, albeit rather rough around the edges, tongue to slink down from the rocks and cradle the fringes of twitching ears. she peers closer at him, eyes wide and glassy with unveiled confusion- both at her family's language stumbling from lips and the actual context, how had she given him a fright? but then it hits her and she cannot stop the sharp laugh to push roughly from ivory jaws despite the stormy confusion still swirling about the depths of her unique gaze. he remembered? she recalled it easily now, the heavy summer air- the lightness in her chest and the odd boy that had thundered so confidently towards her, frightening the life out of her. having been used to primarily communicating with just her family at the time, her french had slipped through before she could stop it. 

eyes cast away from him momentarily as she blinks rapidly; refusing to let him see the pain to flash across her vision. she hadn't spoken nor had she heard a syllable of french since she'd lost her family, it was if it had died with them yet now...now it was laid out right before her. gathering her bearings and straightening her posture, she peers back at him as he detaches himself from the greedy shadows to stand before her. "you remember..." she mumbles softly, once again at an entire loss for words- a rarity in itself considering how much she usually struggled to shut the hell up even when she should. licking at her lips, she studied him closely- brows drawn together with unease. the fire that had driven her here has diminished to dull embers now that he's thrown her, what's she meant to say? she'd kind of just intended on demanding he tell her what on earth was his problem but he did a good job at derailing her and bi-eyes narrow in the gloom. had he done that on purpose? in the end all that slips from her mouth, barely above a whisper is an honest; "you're confusing me clay"

Clay feels a bit of pride when Polaris turns to face him, her face painted with embarrassment. A part of him, deep down, felt accomplished in the fact that he outsmarted someone. For once. And he bathed and rejoiced in that small, selfish feeling. The edges of his lips pulling upward in an awkward smile as he squinted his eyes.

But then... she laughed? Clay dropped the weird expression and was immediately back to his signature scowl. Why was she laughing at him? Did she say it wrong? He had practiced at least for the past hour in his mind on how to talk in that awful language.

Huffing, he felt too tired to exhausted to go down there and talk to the girl after her weird laugh at him...so he dropped to the surface of the rock once more, his forepaws crossed and danging off the edge of the stone as he gazed down. "I didn't remember earlier, but now it's back." he said ominously in a long out, tired drawl.

she gazes heavily into the reptilian gleam alight in his eyes, was there a hint of cruelty lingering somewhere in there? fuck she didn't know, the only thing she was certain on recently is that she was so damn tired. sighing sharply, her tail flicked at her haunches; shooting a glare at the smirk to curl along his slender muzzle. yet as quick as the changing winds, his expression grew darker until he appeared somewhat perturbed. a brow arches, eyes losing some of their intensity as a veil of caution passed over them. she felt like she was dealing with a ticking time bomb, merely breathe on it wrong and she'd be in for an explosion. still, her pelt ruffled indignantly as he flopped lazily onto his rock- glowering down on her like an adult being disturbed by a dumb kid. gritting her jaw, she didn't even bother trying to reason with the increasingly fiery side of her mind as lean muscles curled under her short pelt to push her svelte figure forward and onto his rock. she's gotten stronger since she'd fled the teekon wilds, although still small she had transitioned from willowy to lean. kudos to amethyst keep, they'd taught her a lot in her short time there- physically and mentally.

she'd flicked off his drawl with a twitch of an ear before encroaching on his rock where she now sat stiffly, regarding him warily. jumping up here had been a risk considering how touchy he'd become and it wouldn't come as a surprise to her if he went wailing into the treeline that she'd tried to push him off, despite the space of frigid air lingering between them. there's so much she wants to say; angry exclamations and wearied questions all crowding the tip of her tongue and she swallowed against them hastily- she hated this, having to think about what to say lest it trigger him. gritting her jaw, she finally opted to simply mutter stiffly as if letting her jaw fall too loose would result in more words falling out "i just want to know why....why you acted as if i'd shoved poison down your throat the other day?" gosh she's glad she's so angry, and despite the relatively neutral demeanour she keeps on display so that she has a chance of actually getting in a few words this time, she cradles the inner frustrations. because if they weren't there, the hurt would break through and she would never give him the satisfaction of seeing her upset.

Polaris, for the most part, seemed silent to the boy. Uneasy even; holding her breath, timid and cautious like a bird being trapped. Clay felt a smidge bad for possibly being the stole instigator for such feelings and actions, but he dared not show it to her.

He even wondered if she was going to say anything more, or walk off and leave him in peace. He would of been okay with either or, but what he hadnt expected was for her to slowly make her way up to him. He eyed her while doing so, keeping his jade gaze on her as she came closer. But golly was it frustrating for her to act like he was going to harm her. Nevertheless, he moved slightly over, making sure she had enough room to relax beside him—if you wanted to call it relaxing. It seemed more like a tepid confrontation if anything.

"With my brother, you mean?" He asked, curious if she was accounting for that recent event. Clay honestly had a hard time remembering much interactions with others. It seemed everytime he showed his face someone or something was upset with him. "I wasn't mad at you, more so at the fact that seeing your face reminded me of Nightwalkers." He recalled without filter.

He knew he was being brash, but since when did he ever hold his tongue? "Sorry...if it seemed otherwise." he muttered, still getting used to this whole 'apologizing' thing and 'owning his actions.' "But stop that." He glared. "Stop acting like youre verbally constipated, im not going to eat you."

his brother?

her brow arches sceptically, shooting him a side look as she leans back on her haunches. sure that's who he'd been addressing but poor west hadn't even known what the nightwalkers were, how did that warrant such hostility? still, she holds her tongue, noticing that he seemed ready to say more and ultimately more interested by that than sibling feuds. west had said that they didn't really get on after all, maybe clay just tended to be a bit...dramatic around him. she is surprised to realise that it reminds her a bit of zephyr, the girl had always been rather unpredictable with her outbursts and her heart aches a little at the thought of the silvery girl. she'd tried to ignore any querying thoughts about the family members that weren't lainie and papa. it was one thing to let your hopes begin to peek that serpentine head after being told quite matter of factly that they were alive, but nothing had been disclosed about the rest of her family and it would've been a miracle if that rockslide hadn't taken someone out....she didn't believe in miracles.

she's about to snort at his explanation- feeling a wave of irritation. it wasn't her fault she'd gotten mixed in with them, if anything they should be nicer to each other, that kind of shit just let the nightwalkers win. but she's glad that he gets his apology in before she can let the sound loose and her muscles loosened with a weary sigh. frankly she wasn't even sure what it had seemed like, all she'd known was that he had gotten angry fast. she arches a brow, scoffing at his final delcaration. "you sure you want that?" she quipped wryly, tail flicking across the cool rock. "well stop being such a wimp then, if you're going to lash out at any wolf that reminds you of those freaks then you're letting them win" she rolls her shoulders back, blinking up at the sprinkled sky before adding "and don't give me that angsty 'i don't care if they win' or blah blah, it always matters" she blinks back to him, eyes bright in the luminescence as little puffs of air float visibly into the frigid night. 

a moment later she lowers herself to lie across the smooth surface beside him, enjoying the chill to wriggle into her body at the contact. eyes focused listlessly on the hulking shadows and glinting surfaces, she is more cordial when she finally murmurs "how are you doing anyway?"

Clay was sure he wanted it-—for Polaris to speak her mind and stop being so held back. To not let the words die on her tongue for the sake of formalities. That was... until she asked him..

Something about the question made his gut turn and he stared at her with raised brows and mouth agape. What? What was she going to say? Why would she- what? He was about to ask just what the hell did she meant by such a question, but was ultimately cut off before he could even get a single sound off his lips.
---
He was in utter shock. Disarray. Completely dumbfounded when the girl verbally ripped into him in such a nonchalant tone. His father and mother had always drilled it into him to be polite, especially around ladies, who were meant to be proper and silent spoken. But this girl, this dove? She was the exact opposite to what he had in mind. He expected her to be soft, to be polite and certainly not say what just came out of her mouth.

Wimp? Lash out? Angsty? He opened his mouth to protest, to tell her to shut up and that she was wrong, but once more anything that was about to tumble out was completely thrown out into the pasture as she now... tried to comfort him? The young lad knew his face was beginning to contort, to roll through several expressions before finally just looking utterly confused.

How was he doing?

Clay didn't know how to answer that. His head and heart constantly hurt; Especially when it came to Nightwalkers and strangers in general. He also had thought he was pregnant because of Valour, which was its own pond of troubles. And then there was his family. His mother seemed alright, but there was some sort of lost connection between West and him. Leta hadn't shown her face, and his father was not around.

"Ugh," he groaned, letting his face drop into the stone and conveniently hide his shame against the cold rock. What was he to say to her? To be honest he didn't want to say anything at all, but she was clearly making an effort to be nice so he supposed he would do the same.... But all of his problems seemed a bit too deep and too personal, except maybe.. valour?

He fell silent for a bit as he wondered. "Theres someone I like, and I dont know how to feel about them," he mumbled into the rock.

she misses out on getting to observe the absolute disarray he falls victim to after she 'stopped acting like she was verbally constipated'. it's a shame really, she would've been quite amused to witness the chaotic horror stomping all about his appalled features. yet her eyes rest on distant shapes obscured by the heavy cloak of shadow, enjoying the contrast of tenebrous crannies and luminescent surfaces that the moon seen as fit to rain her ethereal light upon. plus, she'd decided that on the off chance he did decide to explode into a passionate rage; not looking meant that she could get out of dodge hopefully without having to see too much of the spite he'd surely send her way. yet upon realising that minutes had passed and all that she could hear was the steady moaning of the sharp breezes; she casted him a cursory side look. he looked a little muddled to be honest and so she shifted slightly to fully observe him; eyes catching the light as her head tilted in its little bird like movement. 

she doesn't break the lingering silence though, even coming to somewhat enjoy the peaceful caress of it as her eyes roved curiously over his skinny frame. they hesitated slightly on the scars sneering out from his ashen pelt but dart back at the grumble to shift forth into the frigid air as his face flopped dramatically onto his paws. arching a brow, the hints of a bemused smile traced her muzzle as her own chin lowered to rest upon pale forelegs; peering at the tangle of cheek fur that obscured his face. a few moments later and she'd be prodding him, concerned that he'd either fallen asleep or literally died but he lets loose a string of mumbled words before she can and her ears lean forward to catch them. 

it's hard to contain the urge to laugh, out of sheer surprise more than anything but her jaw clenches hard on it; refusing to let it free into the night. she just, well she wasn't sure what she'd been expecting but it wasn't that. still, she realises that part of her is relieved at the seemingly mundane nature of such an issue; it seemed a lot more appropriate for two teenagers to discuss that than the trials and tribulations of finding yourselves trapped within a group of sadistic maniacs. she does however, catch on to the 'them' element of his proclamation- was clay eyeing up a number of ladies? she resists the instinctive want to tease as she smiles a little and murmurs; "well if you like them then what's making you so uncertain?" okay maybe she'd put a little more emphasis on the 'them' but that was tame for her! stretching her slender body out, she let her paws hang loosely over the rock's edge, curious eyes still focused on the silvery boy. had she ever liked someone? she wasn't sure and she supposed that probably answered the question in itself. she'd enjoyed ronan's company a lot sure, and he'd definitely been cute but she'd never really felt anything more than the goofy nature of friendship. yet then again, she'd never really had friends so who was she to judge on what separated the two? huh maybe liking people wasn't so black and white after all.

"well if you like them then what's making you so uncertain?"

Clay frowned into the stone at that. Of course she would say such a thing. Of course it was an easy question with an easy point to her. Of course.

Of course.

He fought the urge to fire back, to fall into her previous statement of lashing out and being angry. Of returning to his sour attitude. He just huffed, falling silent once more with his face planted into the cold stone and tail flicking angerly as the fur rose upon his spine.

Valour. Valour. Valour. Male. Improper. Male. Handsome. Male. Improper. IMPROPER.

Words overwhelmed him, thoughts and feelings so immense that in an effort to quell them he bit his lip to taste iron on his tongue before screwing his eyes shut and throwing back his head to wail "THEYRE A MALE!"

Never before had clay thought he would say those words aloud. To anyone. Not even himself. "He's a he-wolf. A handsome, stupid, utterly dense and moronic muscular boy!" The boy raised, too hot blooded to think straight and sit still. He paced; back forth, back forth, back forth. "oh no. Oh no no no no. What would my parents think? What would he think? What would everyone think? It's improper. Unnatural. Disgusting and wrong." He was babbling now, looking over at polaris with wide eyes and face a mess with a wrinkled snout.

something akin to alarm had traipsed throughout the gaze that followed the distressed movements of her company. and well, she wasn't sure what she'd been expecting but it admittedly had not been for clay to throw back his head and let loose an absolute wail that this crush was in fact; male. oh. that's what the 'them' had been for, good job polaris. rounded eyes peered on as he continued in a rush of overwrought adjectives; unable to help but inwardly comment that perhaps aside from 'muscular' it sounded not too far off from a description of himself. well....handsome was throwing it a bit far too, clay certainly wasn't ugly but she'd probably deem him cute rather than handsome and had the suspicion that he'd likely rip her face off for it. not her fault he was all big eyes and puffy cheek fur.

she leaned back a little as he stood and began pacing fretfully across the cool surface, pushing herself up to sit and observe. bemused eyes softened a little as he began mumbling again; frowning unhappily at the words he'd used. disgusting?? it was different surely, but polaris found interest in different not...disgust. she had after all, had two mothers- something that had seemed completely mundane until she'd discovered that most wolves did not share three parents. "hey" she murmured, pushing to stand and move to his side, going to press a shoulder to his in an attempt to perhaps steady him, not sure if it'd work but ready to try. she didn't want him to start hyperventilating or throw himself miserably from their perch after all. peering up at his distressed gaze she offered "i have- had two moms you know?" she skips over the error quickly, determined to focus wholly on him. "didn't realise that it wasn't considered normal until i realised most wolves just had a mom and a dad- bear in mind i had a dad too i uh..dunno but they all loved each other and that was enough for me. still is."

she's not sure what to offer on the thoughts of everyone else; she knows that she found it curious but never could she imagine feeling disgust towards someone chasing love no matter what shape that came in. west and valette seemed nice but how would she know what they'd think, it hurt her head to even try and comprehend why anyone would react negatively but she also wouldn't put it past the world to find amusement in setting up painful barriers for him. and what of the wolf he liked? she didn't have a clue as to who he was and if he'd ever feel the same way towards clay. she suddenly felt pity well up inside her gut but kept her features as impassive as possible; aware that there was something frustratingly demeaning about silent pity. "i don't think it's disgusting.." she wasn't good at twisting tentative words and so continued quietly "i don't think you should either" she didn't want to sound like she was lecturing but she wanted to insist on it so badly, cry out that he could not deem himself disgusting and expect others to convince him otherwise. he had to tell them he wasn't and judge on how they reacted to that; but how could she word that? instead she asked simply "do you want to talk about him?"

she could offer him an ear, if nothing else.

Pacing.

Back forth, back forth, back forth.

He had ripped his gaze from the she-wolf, opting to stare at the stone under his paws as his heartbeat a million times a second. He couldn't shake the guilt, the shame, and disgust that had settled within his brain and chest, making his body run unbearably hot. His breath shakey, his body tired but wired.

Cool down. Cool down.

He breathed in. Breathed out. In out. In out. In out.

He had barely heard what his new friend had said about her family, something along the lines of having two moms. Clay didn't know how to feel about that. It was a weird statement, one that made his gut churn with uncertainty. But... If she had two moms then perhaps it was okay for him to be the same? Not that he would ever have pups. They were too much work.

It was only when he got a grip on himself that he looked back to Polaris with a worried expression. "I think im dying." he griped, four simple words. "Everytime I think of him I feel weird... Oh god am I actually dying?" He bit his lip, worried about the inevitable doom that awaited him.

her eyes can only follow the taut movements of his progression back and forth across the rock for so long before the whole world begins to sway along as if joining in on some dance she wasn't apart of. blinking rapidly to expel the claws of dizziness sneaking across her vision, pale paws press stronger against the smooth surface of their perch. she's starting to feel a little alarmed at the shivered breaths snaking from his jaws whilst verdant eyes glinted with perturbation, was he okay? 

worrying at her lip, she's on the verge of agreeing with anxious suggestions to bowl him over and see if that would break him from this fretful dwam when he casts her a distressed glance. despite the nature behind such a look, it is direct and so she relaxes very slightly, brows furrowed with concern.  the words instigate a few different reactions within the dove, one irrational part of her that was shoved back roughly was the want to let lips quirk at the corners in lingering amusement. if only because it was so dramatic and yet already she expected nothing less from the moonbeam boy. but stronger is both the twisting array of pity, sadness and anger. ultimately pissed that he should feel such a way just because the person who claimed his affections was in fact, male. struggling against the emotions hissing within her, she attempts to put forth a neutral demeanour when assuring "you're not dying clay" before adding with a signature touch of jest "or at least try not to, i'm not sure what your mam would do to me if you happened to die in my presence a few days after i joined" quirking a brow, a quick smile is allowed pass fleetingly over pallid features before she shifts her position and sighs out at the gloomy land embracing them. 

"i guess...." she struggled desperately for the right words "well you don't think it's right, correct? so you're feeling guilty i suppose." she casts him a sharper look now, eyes bright with their intensity as she dares press "why do you think it's disgusting? if i turned around and said i like girls or some random kid confessed to you that they happened to like whatever gender they also were would you feel repulsed by them?" rolling back her shoulders she drops her gaze once more and frowns at the rock beneath them. "i just don't understand it is all, i don't think it's gross- different sure but what's wrong with that? the rocks that watch over your home are admired for their brazen difference...why not you or anyone else?" suddenly feeling a little embarrassed at the spiel, she rubs her paw back and forth across the cool surface and chips in a little defensively "i'm not being naive or dumb by the way i know there are assholes out there that will pick at anyone for not being exactly what they want but they're the minority or....at least i hope so for all of our sakes" and she cannot help but add silently would you not rather be something that repulses the evil bastards out there, is it not a good sign to be something they don't like rather than something they agree with? 

she knows her answer to that but for the first time wonders, does clay? she knows nothing of his true opinions of the nightwalker wolves and what the represent except for how prickly he seemed to get at their mention.

"I,"

Polaris had given him food for thought.

He didn't really know how to deal with it, deal with the onslaught on emotions that followed, the sadness, the confusion, the bitterness, the angry. It was confusion, which led to anger, which let do his fur rising up as he glared harder at the ground before him. "Yes I feel guilty! This isn't normal! It's not even something that's practiced in my pack!"

And then a question, one that begged for clay to contort his face as he fell silent. He stood there, staring at the dove with such a fierce intensity within the night, uncertain of what it was she exactly wanted. Yes! It was disgusting and repulsive, but did she really want clay to say that? To make her upset?

"No," he lied. Something weighed down within his gut.

And then he watched as she turned to look at the sky. He huffed at the action, feeling it was ominous like his father. That man was always staring up and down as if he was watching the gods he spoke of. But polaris? What was she looking at? "The stones? The stones are nothing like my problem—They're rocks! This... this.... mm. THESE FEELINGS! ARE NOT LIKE ROCKS, POLARIS!" he yelled

He was screaming now, he was sure of it by the burning in his throat and flushed skin. His anger was rising, uncontrollable, and volatile, and poor Polaris was caught up in it. He didn't mean to scream at her, to lose his temper. But she had triggered it! It was her fault for comparing his complex feelings to a rock!

She didn't understand!

Grounding his teeth together in a swarm of frustration, clay huffed in deep breaths. Whatever friendship they had kindled was too fragile in the eyes of the prince, and he was careless in discarding it into the night. "Forget it. You'll never understand— i'm leaving. And don't come looking for me this time." he barked, turning away to leave.