Wheeling Gull Isle The Twin Thing

Lying here, everything in him is brittle and wounded. Things had changed, a family pushed away and expanding and silently he feels lost to this new distance explored by his big brothers and sister. He didn’t know how to accept this freedom. Their Judah was left behind.

And @Malakai, whose familiar blue is now absorbed by the outside world, taken from him. Judah will shuffle his paws around the den like the half-body he is without being summoned, singing lowly:

“Mal don lob Juuujuu, Mal don wan Jujuuuu, Mal don like Juujuuu.”

A gift was clutched in the jaws of Malakai as he strode from exploring the forestry around and back towards the birthing den. He could here rhe whines ans grunts of the younger litter, but it was not them which interested him (and had not been thus far). It was Judah's words which had him stomping into the den, bi-colored eyes narrowed. 

He lays the gift down and throws a paw on top of it, doing his best to shield it from Judah. Nose wrinkled and tossed up, If dats wot you tink, den don't deserve gift I found for you. He huffs, made to upset his brother for first upsetting him.

“Mal!”

He appears in beam of sunlight, glittering and bright and pushing back the dark walls of Judah’s loneliness. It permeates his own being, purpose, happiness, life is restored! He holds out his paws to his twin, begging for affection.

Oh doesn’t Mal know how hurt he is when he leaves? Can’t he see how much he needs him? They were meant to stay together always. Judah can only flail like a forgotten limb without its body in his absence, incomplete and obsolete.

“Mal! Noooo, wha is Mal? Can have? Can see?” He crawls around his brother’s body, equal in color but beginning to fill out in ways that Judah would not.

The brightness returns to Judah's eyes at the sight of his twin-brother, as though the confidant, warm air within Malakai breathes life into Judah. Kai can't recall (or refuses to remember) him ever looking so happy at the arrival of his other siblings. 

Still, when Judah reaches out a paw to his brother, Kai lifts his muzzle higher and back, away. He needed his brother to understand how wrong he was for having said such things. 

Judah curls around his brother, with a closeness Kai would allow no other savor his parents. Fine. He grumbles, But no hear dat again! He says sternly as he then lowers himself to Judah's level, crouching down as he clutched the gift a moment longer before lifting his paws away. 



It's like us. He says with bright eyes as he stares at the thing which he had found. A clam shell. It was opened mostly, but still attached along the side. Two halves of a whole, yet held together still. Within was a pearl, held firm by the muscles which had dried out and hardened upon the creatures death on the baking sands.

In his twin’s austere gray uniform, one sharp eye casts him with the power of the sun- the other with the softness of the moon. Judah surrenders in a worry-filled heap, if he upsets Malakai then he might never come back for him. He could lose him.

With folded ears and a submissive crawl he remorsefully burrows himself into the boy’s chest.

“I sowwy, Mal, I nevah say again!! I pwomise!!” The begs pour from his throbbing chest as his brother sneers. Like a god he holds him, seeking forgiveness.

Feed him, punish him, raise the tidal winds. These are the things Malakai commands. He is the one chosen for God’s word. 

And he relents. Judah topples with relief. Mal crouches. All is forgiven, and he seals it with an offering. Judah stares, awash in wonder at the funny-shaped object, oblong and split into two identical halves, held together at the center with a glistening stone.

“Ohhh!” He gushes, circling it once in full before plopping his head down to peer into the center with a giant, silver eye. “Us,” he repeats, “Is me an you!” Bound together!

“Whas pebble thingy? Is so shiiiinnnnyyyy!” Shiny and bright and caught in there forever. Like his love for Malakai.

It was in these moments which Malakai was fueled. His sacrilege starting so very small that it would so easily go unnoticed. His brother regenerating and strengthening Malakai, yet in no good way in which one might hope one brother to lift up another. 

Judah's admiration of him... The sneers, growls and hard eyes of his little adopted siblings, pushing the belief of their corruption. The righteous anger of his mother and father, cast upon those who did not follow the laws of their god-blessed lands. All pieces among others put together to mold and form the creature of which Malakai was quickly becoming. Having a blind righteousness which had mutated the minds of many a man before Malakai and many more to come. A monster, justified by religion. 

As so it is said by the Messanger of God, so it is written. Malakai forgives as does God, but he does not so easily forget. 

His twin's excitement overwhelms Kai, filling him further but with emotions far less manipulative. He is both proud of his discovery and completely ecstatic by Judah's own happiness and wonder, which seeps into his being and causes a shutter to course through his spine and out the end of his tail which wriggles with delight. 

Yes, yes! He grins and lowers his head so that it is side-by-side Judah's own as they peered into the clam. I suppose it can be whatever you want it to be. It belongs to you, now. No one can ever take it from you. And no one would ever take Judah from him.

Into the glistening heart of the shell he stares. Beside him is Malakai, as always he should be. The one who would forever be decoded by touch, by print, by breath alone. Part of him, from him, the end of him that was the beginning of Kai.

But beside him he’s never felt farther.

“Does dis mean you leabe more now?” The shell blurs, his chest hyperventilates, unrelenting tears once again rain. “Wha’s so special out dere, Mal?”

He spins, grasping for his brother “I wish you stay. Stay in den and be with me and thas all!”

The happiness which brings them together does not last. They are whole, but reality is left to tear at them again. Tears fill the eyes of his brother. Pleading, grasping. Malakai lifts a paw to touch at his brother's chest to easy his racing heart yet at the same time, his lip twitching with a hidden distaste for Judah's nervous antics. His weakness. 

You are not ready. He answers first, simply, flatly. His paw slips from Judah's chest and he backs away, walking towards the opening of the den even despite any protests Judah may have. Malakai's toes were at the edge of the line, where the shadow of the den met the light outside. God is warmth and light. God made everything and its out there. He turns around to face his brother then. Like mom and dad, they give us food and drink and toys and gifts... We're God's children and the world is ours that which he made for us. One day. One day soon, he would see.

Kai is disappointed, Judah is a disappointment, and to demonstrate this his twin pulls from him to straddle the line of their two worlds, threatening with one step to split them apart again. Judah cries out with a hovering paw, pleading with the air. Kai is his light, his sun, he needs him!

“How…do I know if I be ready?” Desperately he asks, and both his twin and God will see his earnest, that he wants to be! Only-

“What if I never be, Mal?”

Malakai is quiet a moment, uncertain how to answer, uncertain if he knew the answer to give him. Then, a second question. Malakai steps back towards Judah, his muzzle tipping up and taking a deep breath before coming down again. 

You will. But he cannot tell him how he would know for certain. You must have faith, Judah. Kai's answer would be vague, like many which were given in riddles and open-ended for those questions that could never seem to have a direct answer. 

Have faith. Believe. Pray about it. Keep waiting. You'll see. God works in mysterious ways.

Grow a pair.

“Yes, Malakai.” He winces.

He missed being babied and coddled by his family. He found himself quite limited in his willingness to function without their consistent reassurance. It was hard to get that when they weren’t around as frequently. He fantasized about acting out, throwing a fit, drowning in the waves, running away, doing anything to get all the attention back on him! Existing as Judah wasn’t enough anymore! Didn’t anyone care about his needs?!

But the sharpness in Kai’s look cuts. Eyes upon his twin are wide with remorse for even questioning.

“I do have faith, Mal. In you.” He always would.

Malakai cannot escape the pride in his chest at his brother's words, nor can he hide the smile which played over his features. 

Then I'll just have to have enough strength for the both of us. He decides, matter of factly and comes further into the den, wandering past Judah and brushes along his side as he does so. 

At the back of the den, he flops down into a lay. I'm tired. He lied. How about an afternoon nap? He wasn't tired. Not really, but used this little white lie as an excuse for staying longer in the den to please Judah.

Judah wasn’t tired; Judah was excited. He had his Mal back!

It didn’t matter if he’d not be able to even shut his eyes, he was going to heed any suggestion made by his brother with burning enthusiasm, and he did so, nosing his big head in between Mal’s forearms until he was tucked up into a plush silver belly. He’d never felt safer than playing little spoon to his twin brother, and in that feeling alone he was able to drift into slumber.

Though it was not peaceful. It was filled with nightmares.