Two Eyes Cenote tungsten

her loneliness had become a bitter knifepoint that cut her gut when she woke in the morning.

tavina had begun drinking tincture of hollyhock to deal with the malady. even now she bent over the different portions of the plant, muttering to herself. 

idly the sesh wondered if any of the children newly wandering the halls might find medicine a suitable diversion, one day.

a sour taste lingered on nazli's tongue all day, every day. she thought she had brought back a sickness from akashingo and—well, better it was her and not the divine one! but she kept to herself more often as the weeks progressed, and by the month mark things had not gotten better.
she had sought out remedies without bothering any of the fellahin.

it wasn't until nazli noticed a tenderness to her belly that she became concerned.

nazli found the sesh tending to a collection of hollyhock.
tavina, she called, shuffling in to the woman's space.

she did not want to draw attention—but.
quietly, the woman took a breath to steady her nerves—and something inside of her moved.
ough...!

the purpled eyes were narrow with concern and something like disbelief.

had she known? and only ignored? "come in, nazli," tavina murmured, bustling to the door and ushering the young hemet into the examination room standing in green fragrance with newly cut yamroot off to one side.

"how many weeks?" but she knew, did she not?

she knew.

she had seen queen treva turn gravid and now saw these signs within herself, and she knew.

now, tavina saw.

the blessing— it had been meant for toula! and yet, she had anointed herself with extra, sacred oils and made her wish.

tavina, what do i do? it was all she wanted; but she was hemet. and the father—senmut, surely?

but he acted the part of a God.
i won't be rid of this. i can't. her features drawn now, and eyes glossy. wasn't this a blessing? would she be forgiven?

"then you become a mother, nazli."

there was no questioning of what was to be done if it was what she desired. "you conceived with a priest, in an act of godliness. this pregnancy will be seen as their blessing."

a dark paw moved to cover that of the young woman's own. "are you certain this is what you want, nazli?" the purpled eyes were deeply searching, asking for the fullest truth.

yes, she answered so quickly and so fully, with that one word.

i—i want to be a mother. i want this. i've prayed for this every night for moons upon moons!

a gasp, and the brimming of happy tears! and then she thinks of senmut. i know it is not right for a hemet. i ask, can i devote my heart and soul to the gods and to children? and in the question i feel the answer. this was an act of god, tavina had confirmed as much.

—i trust in Them.

vibes

"we will help you, nazli, eset and i and inji. you are surrounded by those who think highly of you and will help you to raise these young ones."

she cupped the chin of the young priestess in her palm; "the gods have answered your prayers, nazli. they would not give you this blessing if you could not handle it. and look where your children will be born! among altars, in a sacred palace."

tavina smiled, joyous for the girl who had become her daughter despite her physician's fears.

she should send word to senmut.

she couldn't send word to senmut!

would toula think this a blessing? would rashepses?

everyone had seen the ritual! everyone had seen —!

i want to trust in Them. i do trust in Them. but she was afraid and the look in her eyes conveyed that, so too did her dwindling voice, and when she felt tavina's touch upon her chin nazli felt tears spring to her eyes and willed them not to fall; and she saw the love there in her mother's eyes.

i'm going to be a mother. i'm —! overcome, the tears traced warm lines down her cheeks as nazli felt the overwhelming swell of love, and hope, and joy, and fear, and above all wonder for this was magic that the Gods had blessed her with!

"yes. and what a wonderful mother you will be, nazli." she enfolded the young woman close then, their hearts cadenced together for a short time.

tavina believed what she said. the suffering of nazli had been transmuted now into her greatest wish, and for the sesh, ramesses' death had laid the foundation.

she hummed against the soft ears, marvelling even unto herself.

I hope so, she murmured, and smiled to Tavina, pleased by the proximity and the knowledge she would be near if Nazli needed help.

It wasn't at all frightening, thinking of herself as a mother, or thinking of what might be the most difficult trial of her life - the birth. Rather, Nazli was excited for this part of her life to begin.

Knowing where she had started and to whom her blood called family, it was a wonder she had survived to become anything at all; yet she was here now, priestess, blessed by the gods.

blessed by the gods.

tavina might have called it a curse at one time.

but as she watched the rapture and the wonder upon nazli's face, she had the spiritual inkling that a reward of sorts was taking place. a recognition. 

that was, if she believed such things.

and yet she did.