Stone Circle Every Little Thing She Does

Vespera's pace through the grass was slow, her ears slightly drooping to the side, and her tail showing no sigh of moving on its own, but swaying side to side to the awkward rhythm of her walk. The young female was exhausted mentally, for in her mind she was alone. Vespera didn't feel as though she belonged, and struggled to find a reason why she did. Her young mind was too exhausted to even try to think to herself and try to sound confident. Moreover, there was a sinking feeling in her chest, her heart was aching for something, but she wasn't quite sure what it was yet. In her mind, she began to criticize herself for acting so rude to the other pack mates that she had met, but can I really blame myself?  She thought to herself trying to make herself feel better. However, she shook her exhausted head, no that's just stupid..... I am trying to act tough around others and trying to make an impression that makes me feel secure, but is that what I really want?  Vespera's mood suddenly changed to anger, not at her pack mates, but at herself. Why am I like this!? I hate it, yet I can't help it!  Her claws were digging into the ground as her thoughts continued to drive her mad.


"Stupid!" The female growled to herself, as she forcefully rammed her head into the nearest tree. When she made contact with the tree, she recoiled in pain, letting out a small yelp, but that pain was quickly forgotten as her instincts were telling her not to care. But she did care. She didn't show it but she did. The young female's heart sank even further as her paws stumbled backward making her fall into a sitting position. Vespera shook her throbbing head, but she ignored the pain knowing in her mind she probably deserved it. Her head slowly moved downward, and left it hanging, slightly frowning. Her mind suddenly cried out for a little comfort, and she desperately wanted to cry out, but she restrained. She only sat there, with her tail curled tightly around her paws.

---

@Valette

Valette frowned when she heard someone call out 'stupid'. She thought it was Venus but she couldn't be sure. The female trotted forward in a hurried fashion. It was a good thing she did because she heard a yelp soon after. What was happening? A conflict? Valette rarely had to deal with fighting wolves. The female frowned at the thought. The dark female thought she would see two wolves but she only found Venus. Valette looked suspicious for a moment.

"What happened here?," she asked. She couldn't smell another wolf so perhaps there hadn't been a fight. Venus looked sad for some reason. The female was rather confused by this whole setting. Perhaps she sounded a bit strict but she thought she had to break up a fight.

Vespera's ears perked, the female swiftly turned her head and saw Valette. Valette has asked was going on, and Vespera rose to her paws quick to face the Alpha. Got to make up something, I don't want her to think I have doubts. Vespera forced herself to give an awkward smile to Valette, "uhh... Nothing.... Nothing at all!" The female tried to restrain from putting her paw on her throbbing head, but the pain was beginning to slip away. "Me and..... uh.." Vespera had to come up with something, so she quickly glanced around till she froze her glance on the tree where she had just rammed her head into. "Me and this.. Tree... yea tree! Were having a disagreement and the tree decided to go for a low blow," Just roll with it, she sighed to her self, so she pinned her ears to the back of her head and curled her muzzle, revealing an aggressive approach. "STUPID TREE" she howled, as she barreled into the tree with paws first, while it did hurt on impact, she began to claw and sink her teeth into the bark of the tree. Vespera's purple gaze quickly glanced to Valette, ach, whats the point... She is smarter than I give her credit for, she probably knows I am faking it, I mean, who has a beef with a tree? Vespera's quarrel with the tree slowly subsided as she turned her head the opposite direction of Valette and spat out bark then turned her gaze back to her with an awkward smile and lowered her paws slowly back on the ground. "See? its nothing really." Vespera stood there awkwardly, trying to hide her true feelings from Valette, she told her once, she won't make that same mistake again.

Valette watched as Vespera smiled awkwardly and tried to talk herself out of what she was doing. The female watched how the female yelled at the tree and then even attacked it. She slowly got a frown on her face as she watched the female. What did that tree ever do to her? What made the dark female so unstable to even attack a tree. Valette sounded a soft sigh and then looked into the female's eyes.

"Venus," she stated her name, with a bit of a sigh. She felt that the female was so hard trying to be something she was not. When they met last time she seemed to be this tough snarky girl she was not and now she had a beef with a tree? Valette wondered. "That tree didn't do anything. I doubt you had a disagreement with it," she spoke calmly. "You can be yourself around here. I hope you know that?"

Vespera tilted her head, she didn't understand why the Alpha called her 'Venus' but then her mind remembered that she told Valette that was her name. "Oh um... Its Vespera now," The female had said a little more shyness then she would have liked to, but she knew that Valette needed to know the name change. The young female was shocked a little when Valette next said that the tree didn't do anything, did she actually fall for that?  Vespera could only laugh to herself a little by ducking her glanced to the for a little bit, but then she quickly glanced back at Valette. "Valette, I appreciate that you welcome me to be open, but honestly, im fine! Nothing to worry about me nope! its all sunshine and rainbows over here!" Vespera knew she wasn't going to sound convincing to Valette, so why should she bother hiding her thoughts to herself. But thats the thing.... I like being alone in my thoughts... its and escape for me. The female looked down, her ears flattening to the side a little, "I probably don't sound convincing don't I?" Vespera practically mumbled to herself, almost sounding like she was whining, but what else could she do? Tell Valette that a stupid piece of bark had insulted her? Vespera felt a warm presence around Valette, she wanted to spill everything to her, since she was the only wolf that ever welcomed her in a long time, but the female restrained.

Valette's widened her eyes. "Oh I'm sorry. I thought you introduced yourself as Venus," she stated. She changed her name as well. She was not always named Valette. For the first year of her life, she was known as Desna. She didn't feel like a Desna after losing all of her family. Valette frowned lightly at Vespera saying that she was fine. "You don't look fine," she stated, easily reading the female's body language.

Her muttering only confirmed that. "You look tense throughout your body," she spoke. "And you always randomly switch from super confident to unsure, or from excited to sad,' Valette explained calmly. "You just come over as unsure how to carry yourself, or making you look like you are trying to be someone you might not feel confident being." Valette kept her hazel eyes on the female.

'For me it took a long time to know those things as well. I've been a leader for two years now but when I came to leadership I was also struggling to find myself. I didn't want to be a dominant leader or lead with an iron fist. So I tried to find my own way of leading this pack," she spoke with a smile. "All the other wolves accept that I won't command them, and they also accept me as their leader even if they don't submit to me all the time," she explained. "What I am trying to explain is just that being yourself might be scary but others will accept you much faster. It is okay to unsure in new situations."[/b][/b]

Vespera listened to what Valette was saying, she didn't interrupt her, she didn't even feel the need to make a snarky remark. She felt what Valette was saying to her was true, and she felt those words sink into her mind, and she didn't push them to the back of her mind, they remained in her thought process. The young female's emotions were swirling in her mind, she wasn't sure if she could handle them all rushing about in her body. However the one thing that she was certain about, and that was Valette was right. The Alpha had hit the nail right in the head about what she was saying about her, and Vespera couldn't be more surprised on how Valette knew about this situation. But, her judgement began to cloud, her body became more tense than Valette was going on about, and her fur began to bristle. Vespera shot a defiant glance at Valette, tail beginning to rise slowly, "What do you know about me? You barely even know me, so you assume that I am like this? You may be Alpha of this pack, but that doesn't give you infinite knowledge on me!" Vespera stomped her paw in the ground with enough force to show her paw print clearly. Now the emotions that were locked inside her came pouring out like rushing water of a river, and she became an emotional teenager, but she didn't know how to deal with it. Vespera's chest was heaving, she was fighting back the urge to cry out, but she had no more mental strength anymore. The young female was emotionally unstable and unable to control herself, and her vision became blurry with tears and her heart filled with confusion, "Why are you nice to me? Why do you care about some random pup that wonders by herself all alone without her family to protect her? Why?! I have just have a terrible attitude that I have adapted to over time. I don't know who I am anymore!" Vespera was beginning to shake, her legs felt like twigs under a rock and she didn't know how long she could hold it, "The old Venus died when her parents were taken away from her!" She felt her lungs burst on that last statement, but she realized what she said, and her eyes widened. However suddenly, her twig legs cracked, and the rock of emotions she was holding onto fell, and Vespera flopped to the ground in tears with her paws covering her eyes as she tried to pull herself together. "I'm sorry...." The female said shakily.

Valette took a bit of a defensive stance as she wasn't sure if Vespera was going to attack her in her anger or not. The female might have thought wrong about her, she wasn't sure but it seemed the other way around. The alpha female watched as the other looked angrier and started to tell her off. She was about to tell the female that she didn't know her and that she might be wrong but she recognized this behavior from herself when she was young. She decided against it when she saw tears well up in the female's eyes. Oh, the poor thing.

She listened to Vespera's emotional rage, it became too much for her that the female even collapsed. Valette stepped forward worriedly. The girl seemed so broken, but that made the mother figure even want to help the young female more. Valette tended to mother others when she could. "Don't be sorry," she spoke. "It is clear that this needed to get out of your system," she added. Valette could only think of that one meeting she had with Steady when she herself had been close to becoming bitter and cold. It had been life-changing.

"I lost my parents as well, as my siblings and all the other loved ones. I was certain that I would never befriend anyone again because I didn't want to go through the heartbreak," Valette explained, revealing a bit more of herself. "But then I met a wise man that told me: 'The only ones we lose are loved ones. Because they matter to us, it hurts every time it happens. We don't hurt over the loss of a stranger, but they die every day. We just don't know about it." So perhaps it is true that the old Venus died when you went through such a heavy loss. But perhaps now you go by the name Vespera you can find out who Vespera actually is," Valette advised.

Valette nudged the female gently with her nose to comfort her. "Sometimes you need a stranger to care for you. So they can show you that life is still worth living," she smiled kindly. Vespera reminded her so much of her younger self. It was probably why she was so kind, and why she wanted to help. If Steady had not been there for her who knows how she ended up. Perhaps she would have turned bitter and cold instead of the warmhearted female she was now. "Just so you know. The Verspera I start to know has hope, and determined. I see some kindness in you as well as some stubbornness," she smiled. "All good things."

Vespera's tears flowed down her soft fur on her face, she was trying to hard to hold them back, but a year of locking those emotions away had made her mentally exhausted and she didn't have the strength to stop herself. However when Valette spoke to her, she felt a little more at ease, but Vespera didn't removed her paws form her face for she was in shame for crying. The young female was disciplined to never cry, for it was a sign of weakness, and the weak needed to be dealt with. But her sniffling continued and she couldn't stop it, but all that noise she was making, she could still hear Valette. The females ears perked a little when Valette began to reveal herself a little more, and her sniffling and sobbing began to quiet down a little. The advice she was giving her seemed to find away to carry into her mind, and she began to think about it, and she began to feel a bit better. Valette went on about loosing loved ones and how strangers die everyday, and it made Vespera realize that she was right yet again as her ears perked a little more up. When Valette had gone to when Vespera had said the old Venus was dead, her heart felt like stone and it was going to drop into her stomach, but her stone heart had cracked and shattered when she said that Vespera was a beginning of a new life. She felt the warmth of Valette when she gently nudged her with her nose, and at that point Vespera removed her paws from her face and set them gently on the ground and slowly moved her head with her eyes still full of tears to look at Valette. The young female looked up at Valette's kind smile, when she began to go on about her and all the good things about herself. Vespera hesitated, her heart had finally calmed down and the last tears dried up. The young female rose to her paws and thrusted her head forward gently into Valette's shoulder, her soft fur making the female more safe to reveal more of herself to Valette. But she had hoped no one else had seen this for this was embarrassing and she never usually does this. "Thank you..." Vespera said at last with a soft tone, "I needed that..." She truly meant it, and she couldn't thank Valette enough for her kindness.

Valette smiled at the female when she was returned a kind smile. This time it seemed like a real one. The alpha female wagged her tail and beamed a big smile at Vespera. "Sometimes we need the perspective of someone else," she spoke with a nod. She then leaned into Vespera. She had the feeling that she just needed to break through to the female that she meant well. Valette stepped a bit back. "Have you eaten enough?," she asked the dark female. Otherwise, they could go for a meal and let Vespera calm down from all the emotions she was experiencing before.

Vespera moved her head a little back and looked into Valette's gaze, her tears had finally dried up and her emotions seemed so cease. Valette had asked her is she was hungry, and at that moment her stomach growled, she looked down at her growling stomach, but then quickly rose her head giving an awkward smile. "Maybe just a little...." The young female was starting to become a little more honest around Valette, she felt a little more comfortable doing it, but she knew she had a long way to go, and she figured Valette knew that as well for what she had told Vespera, they had been in the same place at some point where they had no one to turn to. Vespera slowly rose to her paws, her weak legs were starting to gain muscle again as the rock of emotions that she was holding on to had left her emotionally drained, but she knew that her emotions were still there, and she still needed to deal with them.