Northstar Vale Tell my friends I Don't miss you

Reyson moved around through the pack lands. He was never far from the healer's den and @Meadow. Even if they weren't in a perfect place now, he was willing to see if it got better and they could move on. He felt he could, but Meadow tended to carry a lot of guilt even when it was undeserved.

He had continued digging out the den he had been looking at, but it was slow going. Scarred head lifted as he took a break and moved back towards the way he had come. There was not much more to do and he didnt' like to leave too far from her. he didn't wish to cause her undue stress.

Tags just for reference so her caretakers kind of know what she's up to?

@Tamar and @Antigone had supplied her with pain killers—ordered to rest and to heal. But now she would need to begin to move around once more, and so the silver she-wolf found herself blinking at the harsh light of the sun as she exited the healing den—her walk a meditated lope of caution as she began to trail her way to the Nomos.

She had spent much time alone, dwelling on her thoughts—sleeping the time away, and always waking with a nightmare of some kind that faded far enough from her memory that she could never quite recall it in the light of the day. The thought of seeking out Towhee or Phox seemed a ridiculous notion—having potentially wrecked the marriage of their daughter and certainly drawing their son-in-law to tease the edge of his vows.

Arsenio and Tamar she could barely look in the eye—let alone their children. She held absolutely no business seeking out the retired soldier she looked for now, spare that he never seemed far from her.

In truth, what she wished for was to walk past the borders of Epoch and ease everyone from having to deal with her presence. So when she found the golden man working away, she regarded him for a moment, finding herself leaning against a tree to catch her breath—watching him quietly.

Reyson had sought out Maxim recently, but he hadn't looked for Towhee and he probably wouldn't. He was not as close to the she wolf as he was to her husband. It was nice to know that they were there should he want too though. But they were probably harboring some hurt feelings of their own.

A prickling of unease teased his shoulders and brutish head swung towards the feeling. Blue eyes narrowed in wariness, though when he saw who it was his body eased and he pulled himself from the mire and the dirt and walked towards her.

He bent to look her over blue eyes assessing and then with a small smile. Deep rumble spoke. You should be careful, but I won't tell you to return just yet. Sometimes, fresh air cures all ails.

He nudged her head gently if she'd allow and then he'd back up to look her over again. Feeling a little bit better?

His training and days long past had him sensing her quickly—her eyes sweeping over the man as he turned to look at her and she felt a tug of guilt at pulling him from what he was doing—as if forcing his focus on her.

She offered a smile—though it appeared wane—her emotions always upon her sleeve for the world to see. He asked if she was feeling better and a slender shoulder lifted in a shrug, her form still using the trunk of the large tree to brace herself in a quiet rest from walking. “As good as I can be,” she offered, her amber eyes drifting from him to study what he had been doing, curiosity stirring. “But I should be asking you that…”

Her smile was not a happy one and it filled him with unease. For all the grace he had given, and the forgiveness. She still felt such guilt. Yes she had done wrong, but she was only Human wolfess. Of flesh and blood and bone. And perhaps Reyson had not given her what she had needed. He had been careful, cautious. Perhaps she had needed someone not so.

He saw her movements and shifted with a ghost forward, if she'd allow him he'd take the place of the tree, at least then it was a bit of a softer lean. Though not much of one, given the hardness he always carried and the stockiness of his build.

I was digging the den you wanted. It's between the forest and the pack and if you look just there, he motioned towards it. The waterfall is there. Tamar asked me to name it and I thought of Veteran's Rest, but she didn't seem to like that one. So I will continue to find a name for her.

She considered his words—quietly pondering what he meant that Tamar didn’t like the name he wanted to call the waterfall—and placing the notion aside for now. Knowing her dear friend, it was likely that the woman wished him to search further within himself—Tamar had a way of allowing others to come to the realizations they needed with gentle guidance.

He was digging the den she wanted—but it was what remained unspoken that she wondered about—and yet she could not, would not, push him after everything. He was making a home for her—was it no longer a home for them?

“A garden will be easy to maintain here,” she considered, trying to keep the topic light—grateful.

He held no ill will towards Tamar for the time being, and part of him understood what she wanted, but he was unsure how to search within himself. He was not sure how much more change he needed. He liked to think he was pretty decent mostly, but everyone is growing.

He chuckled. I know i remembered. I'm no good with plants, but you'll have to tell me what you want as we make a home here, and how to find them. I'm kinda hopeless.

He said his firm answer in a round about way. he had meant what he said when he said he would move on and forgive. He would do so.

She inhaled sharply—his words a soothing balm upon her heart, and she blinked, trying to keep back the tears she refused to shed. Emotions were heavy—hopefully, in time, they would become lighter once more. And as her eyes swept across the place he claimed he would settle with her to, she found herself wondering what it would be like to raise a family here—

—and tilting her muzzle upward, she sought him for a gentle kiss, trying to maintain the floodgates from opening. “Over time,” she murmured, purposely leaving her words open to interpretation. Over time they could plant gardens—ensure Epoch held a plethora of herbs needed for their well-being. Over time they could hold lessons here, for the youth of their pack mates. Over time, she hoped, they could even have a family here.

Over time they could heal.

Reyson talked slow, and he wasn't always acting as if he knew what was going on and sometimes, sometimes he didn't know. Didn't care to know, but he knew exactly what he was doing when he used the words he used. He would make sure she understood no matter how hard, or how long it took that he was forgiving her, that he was here to stay. He would need to seek out Germanicus and forgive him someday too, because he knew all to well how short life was. And forgiveness was for him, not those that wronged him. For them as well, but in this case he also needed to do it.

He was surprised when she sought out to give him a gentle kiss to his scarred face. He gathered her to himself as gently as he could. There was no way he could encompass her as he usually did, because she was so hut.

I'll try not to hurt you when I give you a hug. he said softly.

He nodded at her words and then put his gaze back to where he was.

He gathered her—and while it hurt physically, it was her heart that soared from the simple affection. She could and would ignore her side for now—realistically, it was likely an injury that would bother her for a lifetime… she could only hope it would be minimal.

When she followed his eyes to the den, she allowed her gaze to stray then, purposefully—“And where, here, do you find yourself most at peace?” She had wanted the den, but Reyson had issues with feeling confined, wishing to sleep beneath the stars—and so, she could only hope, he had found a place here he found he could settle easily to.

He could tell her hurt her, but she seemed to not want him to release her. So he held her quietly. A gentle brush of his muzzle between her eyes.

There's two trees on either side of the den mouth. So even though we'd be enclosed i made it under the trees for a reason. And if I feel too confined, I can go to the den mouth. I'm hoping that I can make it large enough that I won't feel so confined. And If i can decorate it as I want too with furs and soft things I think rather than feel like an enclosed space, it will simply be home.

He seemed to have it figured out then—his answer to her question giving her enough to believe he had placed consideration for his own well-being in this selection as well… and still, she found herself stealing a glance at him from the side of her eyes, wondering if he was simply remaining dutiful now, in her wounded state. If she had hurt him far too much to repair the damage between them—

—and with that, her head would press gently to his chest, her ear listening to the thrum of his heartbeat. Realizing only after that countless days before, she had done the very same with Germanicus—informing him that he did, despite his words, have a heartbeat and it was not broken.

How stupid, the words seemed now, when she knew she had shattered the man before her—simply because his heart still beat did not mean he was living.

He was just existing.

She closed her eyes, trying to keep the forming tears from falling—particularly from him seeing. She didn’t deserve to be consoled by him. “Once you move in with me, it’s a lot harder to get rid of me,” she offered dryly, a sad jab at humor as a distraction.

Reyson wasn't sure how else to make her understand he wasn't going anywhere. Yes she had hurt him, but not killed him. That was where he was trying to find the middle ground.

He was surprised when she pressed tighter to his chest. Perhaps, she needed the sound of the steady beat in the flesh and bone. So he stood still.

A soft contemplative noise. And who says I want rid of you, hmm? I assure you Meadow I am the type of man, were i done. I'd man up, and tell you, and leave.

He brushed along her head. Stop punishing yourself for a mistake. Did it hurt yes, will i get over it also yes. I'm already halfway there.

A brush of his muzzle to the top of her head—much like a tender kiss. She wished for a moment she was not so maimed—that she could pull him forward for something more meaningful—more heated. Awakened, perhaps, by what had transpired at the lake—but she was partial to not ripping open the careful healing done by Antigone and Tamar, and for now, she would accept this.

“Just… Make sure you don’t push aside your feelings to tiptoe around me, Reyson…” She paused, her thoughts drifting back to the days of her previous companions—previous friends—previous packs. “I promise I’m not as delicate as you seem to believe me to be.”

Reyson could have given her the passion she wanted had he known she wanted it. But she always kept him at arms length he so unsure where he stood and well that needed to stop today.

He looked her over. I'm aware, Meadow. I tiptoe because you take all i say so fully to heart. And you've always kept me at arms length. I don't always know what you want. But I will try to do better.

He took a small breath. This is not an insult or an offense. But you asked me for time to show you i meant to stay. And to me that meant slow and easy. Not all holes barred, tear you to your skin in feelings and watch it burn in all the best ways.

She had to pull back up and look at him bow—blinking—as he mentioned about no holds barred, and tearing her to her skin in feelings—what in the world kind of feelings was he thinking of?

It was clear she didn’t fully understand—her eyes quizzical—and yet she suspected he had refrained from pursuing more from her than her affection or company simply because they had entered a ‘courting’ stage—something that seemed almost whimsical in notion.

Too bad she had already lit their supposed fairytale romance on fire in the worst of ways, it seemed.

He shifted. A soft chuckle. Her questions clear. I simply meant that, I was trying to move as slow as you needed me too, because I didn't know how fast you wanted me to go. Whether you wanted titles or more, or just to get to know me and I you. I've always been a forever kind, once my interests are known. I was just waiting for what you wanted.

Perhaps I should've been more verbal with my intentions and feelings.

He hadn't known what she wanted exactly. If he was honest he still didn't quite know. It was still hard to understand what she, and perhaps that was where the rub lied. With him. He wasn't always the quickest on the uptake with things like emotions. His own yes, other's not so much.