Bearclaw Valley dusty flowers

because time for a new sister-thread @Indra! tags for reference. lauren, i assumed that laurel doesn't know anything about indra-tadec yet.

When the former Alpha female had vanished one day with one of her pups, Laurel hadn't known what to think. She hadn't thought much at first, and when Indra came to her Laurel quickly let her sister and Xan know that the pups @Marten and @Nunataq could be moved towards her den. Indra took care of them and Laurel provided sustenance where she could spare, though it was very clear that she reserved most of her food -- and all of her love -- for @Lucas, @Piper and @Wyatt. The irony of the situation did not escape her, for how the tables had turned... But still she would not allow @Xan near her pups; when he did come close she would tell him off, and if he wanted to see Marten or Nunataq, well... She would simply shove them outside of the den until he was done with them.

A hope simmered inside of her chest that Xan might choose her but on the other hand she did not want to be his second best. She did not want him to choose her now that he had no one else to mother his children or stand by his side. Laurel's plans had been all along to overthrow Xan and his mate and show them that she and her children deserved the very best, to be on top, but now that his mate was gone her feelings were mixed. Maybe she should still go along with her plan and simply tell him that she would take his spot, one way or another. Or maybe she could seduce him and then break his heart. Or maybe not... What if there was love out there for Laurel? What if he was it? What if she ruined her one chance at happiness with the father of her children this way? It made her feel so nervous and she didn't want to put herself in a vulnerable spot, but the thought of her children growing up entirely without a father in their life also seemed impossible and whenever she thought of him it just felt.. good..

But he had no self-control, she reminded herself. Soon she would be strong enough to take her rightful place in the pack. Soon she would shove his face in the dirt and show him what it felt like to be used and discarded when she and Indra would take over the pack and her children would grow up the princes and princess they deserved to be.

"Indra?" asked Laurel quietly, careful not to wake up the pups that were sleeping by their respective sides, as she nosed her sister that night, kept up by her many thoughts and feelings. She wondered what her sister thought of all of this. Laurel wasn't quite sure if she would feel courageous enough to tell Indra, because she knew many of these thoughts were foolish and some were selfish, but it was Indra... so surely she could tell her anything.

tags for visibility!

indra awoke with a start, laurel's cold nose to her cheek.

at first, she was only aware of the cold -- then, the world slowly crept in. @Marten and @Nunataq, at her side -- xan's mate gone -- xan, not here -- laurel, before her.

she shifted upright sleepily, a yawn pressing forth from her muzzle. her tongue curled in her jaws and she closed her mouth with a snap. life's recent events were still strange to her, still being digested -- and she slowly stirred into real cognizance, she realized both of the puppies she was caring would be hungry soon. blinking exhaustedly, but no more tired then laurel, indra rose and gave her sister an affectionate lick. "what's up?"

ooo indra's avatar is so pretty <3

Her tail wagged a single beat as her sister roused from her sleep and greeted her affectionately. She glanced at the den's entrance to make sure that Xan wouldn't show up at any time soon. Laurel glanced at the pups that lay by Indra's side briefly as she said softly, "Hey," and allowed her sister to wake up properly a moment.

"I've been thinking of our future," said Laurel then. "We should be the leaders here, and when the pups are a little bit older and I am a bit more recovered I will make it so. My children will be the heirs to these lands." There was determination in her voice as she spoke. She hadn't shared these plans with Indra before, maybe because it seemed so far away or because she didn't want her sister to worry about any of it. But now it got closer and closer, and now it would only be Xan, now that his mate was out of the picture.

After a short pause Laurel added: ".. The only thing I can't decide is whether I want Xan in that picture or not..." She felt vulnerable admitting to such a thing, for she had always been one to play with men's hearts and break when in her claws when she could. She wanted that so badly, but when she looked at her pups, she also wanted them to grow up in a happy place, different from where she and Indra'd come from...

normally indra might have been groggy for a bit immediately after waking up, but laurel's tone was serious -- and it jolted her consciousness immediately. she blinked slowly, but met her sister's gaze a moment as if to say i'm listening.

laurel's thoughts were very much in line with indra's own -- though indra never had the gumption to utter them, she had often thought of how different life would have been if she and laurel were on their own, leaders of their own pack - she couldn't ever imagine being without laurel, but wanted so much to experience a different reality than the hellish one they were currently living.

she nodded as laurel continued, and admired the determination in her sister's voice. indra knew laurel deserved every bit of it -- and so did her children -- and indra wanted dearly for them to be little kings and queens in their own right. it pained her to think of any other scenario.

but xan -- xan troubled things. indra's lips pursed in thought, and a solemn expression played her features. she did not think that the alpha had done right by them or his children, but she did not think it would be right to expel him either -- the children needed a father, and that was a role neither she nor laurel could employ. indra's gaze fell to the ground as she thought, while a worried line creased her brow. "i've been thinking the same -- not about xan -- well, i mean, about xan -- but about you, and your puppies and their future.." she started, already feeling her voice quiver a bit. she hated to remind laurel of the past, but she couldn't let go of it either. "xan fucked you over, laurel. that will never change." she intoned coldly, gravely, a long sigh drawn from her muzzle. "but he is their dad -- and marten and nunataq's too. he might not deserve to be in the picture at all, but they deserve a father."

for her own reasons, indra didn't want to see laurel give xan a third or fourth chance -- but maybe she was wrong, and maybe, magically, things would turn around... but she just couldn't see it.

Laurel waited for Indra's response. She said that she had been thinking about these things too. Laurel sometimes wondered how much Indra viewed the pups as her own or if she still saw them as Xan's and his ex-mate's. Yet that was a topic for later, as it didn't matter much for the moment. Not until the moment his mate would return, if she ever did, to claim the pups as her own; then Laurel would need to know if she should keep them by Indra or give them willingly.

Ears folded back as Indra said that Xan had fucked her over. She knew that, but things were complicated and feeling were complicated. The last thing Laurel needed was a lecture about how Xan was a bad person and she shouldn't want to be with him, but luckily it didn't come. Indra's arguments were largely Laurel's, and somehow, she thought that her children would be the happier for it if she would end up with Xan rather than having a standalone dad dangling round the frays...

She looked thoughtful at that. It would do her so much good to punch him in the throat and throw him off his throne. Maybe that would be better for her babes, too; to see their mother strong and victorious. It'd teach them not to let anyone mess with you. But still she longed for closeness, for something real. "I know. It's all a mess." She frowned as she tried to make sense of it. "Maybe I should just tell him. Demand we become leaders, decide later if I should knock him down a peg." It would be easier to rewind and redo that bit at least. If she would knock him down the ranks then Laurel knew for sure that anything that might be, never would be...

"And what if she returns? She's left and returned to dramatically throw herself at Xan before." Laurel frowned darkly, not feeling much like dealing with the dumb girl again. Yeah, she'd turned around and gotten better towards the end, but her tendency to dramatically leave didn't look too well to Laurel. "If she does, we should chase her off. She made her choices." Laurel resolutely seemed to make that decision on the spot, but her face mirrored her hardened resolve to stick by that decision.

"punch him in the throat" LOL

despite how long they had lived alongside their alpha, it occurred to indra that they didn't truly know xan. they knew bits of him -- ironically, bits indra preferred they didn't -- but how would he take being dethroned?

somehow, indra didn't believe he would take it very gracefully at all.

that wouldn't have stopped indra, who rounded her shoulders as if casting the troubling thought away - she' do anything to make sure laurel was happy, even overturning xan's rule -- if that was what laurel wanted.

she didn't imagine he would give it up willingly, and her expression seemed to convey that. she remained thoughtful, pausing for a bit to compose an answer -- she did not like laurel's proposed future scenario, and it showed on her face by the rapid pin of her ears.

"if she returns, we chase her off." indra affirmed, her tone dark. in indra's eyes, the mother of nunatuq and marten had done no better than saena and reek -- actually, she had done worse -- she had picked a favorite, and left the other two behind. indra could not wrap her mind around it, truly -- her gaze slid to the two abandoned puppies with a softness pooling in their amber depths. "i'm in, whatever you decide to do."

Laurel nodded decisively at Indra. It was almost a little bit like making a pact as they decided what their course of action should be. She smiled broadly, glad that in this world of hurt, she at least had her sister; and now, these lil' baby doodles that were absolutely perfect. Laurel hadn't expected that the pups would change her life in the way they had. It was almost like magic to find her world so transformed.

"I'll seek him out soon," Laurel decided after Indra had pledged her support, whatever Laurel decided to do. She'd tell him of her plans and it was up to him how she would go about it. Whatever the outcome, Laurel was determined she and her sister'd be leaders in the end. She didn't even consider that they might lose. Laurel didn't think Xan'd be so stupid to turn down an offer rather than risk losing it all, and if he would, well, she would shove his face in the dirt.

Meanwhile, with that heavy subject taken care of, there was more. "How's things with you? And the pups..?" She glanced at Marten and Nunataq, then at Indra, hoping that she'd find out a little bit about Indra's feelings towards the pups.

Indra only nodded in rejoinder, her thoughts solemnly cast ahead - what if Xan refused Laurel? what if he became angry by her impudence or, somehow, struck out in response to her sister's righteous uprising? while then mutiny was deserved, would he see it that way? or would he treat their unrest same as he had before, by ignoring their plights and setting course blithely ahead?

with these thoughts in tow indrs shifted a thin leg and looked to the children, uncomfortable with the ever expanding possibilities. earnestly Indra hoped Xan would comply; inwardly, she knew such hope to be foolish. it was no wonder he and Laurel had some sort of soul-tie (despite Indra's disaste on the matter) -- they were both headstrong with things close to their heart. 

the topic changed and the solemn hues of indra's gaze shifted from Laurel's brood to the displaced children of Xan's ex-mate. her jaw seemed to tighten a beat as she issued a subdued sigh that seemed to signal the tension surrounding her. "things are okay.. the pups seem fine. they're so young... i think they'll be okay. they might not even remember her.." she drifted off for a second, her expression darkening. they're like us, laurel. but we could make it so they don't grow up to be us." she didn't want to say what 'being us' entailed, but it lingered nonetheless on the tip of her tongue: chronically and perpetually unhappy.

As Indra mentioned the pups, Laurel's gaze drifted towards them as she considered what her sister was saying. She supposed it was as she had thought, then -- that Indra considered them as her own. And then, Laurel would do so, too, for any pups of Indra's were Laurel's too. "You're right," she said, even if she didn't have the deep feeling world that Indra did. As a matter of fact, Laurel would've gladly tossed them in the river if Indra didn't care for them, or treated them horribly and denying them all the things she gave her own pups. It was only because they were part of the family now that Laurel would treat them well and treat them like her own niece and nephew.

"We'll raise them as if they're your own, then." Time would likely prove that Laurel probably didn't have it in her to treat them just the same as any of Indra's own pups would be; she definitely held a big bias for her own children. "And we'll make sure that they are loved and won't be abandoned." Laurel glanced at them and then looked at Indra and smiled. It felt a bit like they were making a pact and maybe, in some crazy way, it was a little bit as if they were also recreating their own childhoods, shaping them into something better.

indra didn't have it in her to treat the puppies any other way -- it was not their fault, and would never be their fault, that their father had hurt laurel. had children been accountable for the countless mistakes of their father, she imagined the world would have been shaped drastically different. crueler, harsher perhaps. she was relieved when laurel agreed and affirmed she would, at the very least, try to raise them as if they were indra's own. she knew in the felled chambers of her heart there were many things that were hard to ask for -- most of all, caring for your lover's exmate's children as if you loved them -- it was an impossible task and indra knew it might not come easily for laurel.

thankfully, laurel seemed not to resent them -- at least not outwardly -- and indra loosened a sigh she hadn't been aware she was holding in. "thank you," she said in emphatic tones. at the very least 'wont be abandoned' was heartening -- indra felt her stomach clench at the idea of any child reliving her childhood. "they're growing so fast... yours too..  soon we'll really have our hands full." indra attempted a wry chuckle, though it fell short as she thought of their father again. "i suppose their first hunt is coming up soon.."

The 'thank you' was enough indication that this was really what Indra wanted, deep in her heart. Laurel nodded and she smiled at her sister. Their lives would get better, Laurel was sure of it -- though a lot of this philosophy was based on no more than her lil' pups and their positive spirits that made her feel warmer than she ever remembered feeling on the inside -- and from this day on, she would treat @Marten and @Nunataq better than she had up until now. They were family. "Welcome to the fam', kids," she mumbled at them. Before she would be harsher to them, growl at them if they played too rough or got too far from the den, play absolute favourites with her own children (okay, she'd still do that) but now she would treat them like an aunt should, for she no longer felt like the stepmother but truly like their aunt now.

Laurel nodded as Indra said that they would have their hands full soon. She didn't really think forward much, just took life one day at a time as she always had. Their first hunt still seemed a million miles away to Laurel. "They're still babies... It'll be a while." She looked at them as they squirmed and squeaked and slept. "But it doesn't hurt to get them some sticks and animal tails and things like that so they can practise." They practised on each other, of course, by clambering all over each other, but it didn't hurt to hone their hunting skills in some other ways.

tags are for reference so y'all know laurel will be nicer to 'em ;-)

had she arms she would have flung them around her sister, her rock. gratitude welled in her gaze, and a softness seemed to slip across her russet features. the children of bearclaw would want for nothing - laurel as their rudder, and indra as the soft wind behind her.

"that's true.." she mused, watching the babies wrestle each other in the dirt. "i suppose it's never too early to get sticks and stuff... do you want anything while i'm out?"

want a new one soon?

Laurel nodded at Indra, who immediately took it on herself to go and find sticks and fur for them. "If you could bring momma a stick, too..." Laurel smiled at her sister and once Indra had departed she lay her head to the ground and let out a sigh, feeling content. Perhaps their life had been pretty shitty, but it was also pretty good in so many other ways. The pups -- her pups -- only confirmed that.

yesss!