Redtail Rise and a five pointed dagger

the entire story came out, recounted in monotone to @Lilia. he'd probably ruined everything, and looked for signs she hated him until he had finished his retelling.
"so," and in the manner of a stressed man running hand through shaggy hair, he leaned against a nearby tree and stared off over the horizon, "that's where we are, i guess. funny i didn't give a fuck a day ago. now i'm just mad, leelee."

She listened quietly, keen to know what Ancelin knew of the Redtails and their movements. To the best of her knowledge, the youngest still prowled the Rise, and Avicus had left the borders, as well as Redd whose presence came as a surprise to Lilia. She hadn’t heard that Redd had come back, which was odd. Typically, Augur communicated with her when a new wolf joined or when someone returned. The news hadn’t come from him.

She was confused about Masque and why the Ulfr had cried out in pain if Ancelin hadn’t been the one to inflict it. She felt some concern, naturally, and wondered if it had something to do with the crack taken to their skull when fighting off that loner. 

She felt her heartbeat flutter to know that Ancelin had told Avicus that if she wanted Wealda that she should come and take it. She frowned and sighed deeply. Things were only getting more difficult, but she could feel her mate’s frustration. 

”Fuck Avicuth,” She spat. ”She walked out, thtepped down, bailed on huh kidth an’ they thtill lick huh ath the moment she cometh back.” She complained, shaking her head. ”She’th not a leaduh, she’th a negligent, abandoning tyrant.”

For a moment, she silently considered what might happen next, and shook her head. [b]”Mathque an’ the kidth detherve better.”[/b]

he could see she was upset, but when his mate spoke it was about the kids and masque and red. he hadn't gone back to see, thinking he would only implicate himself, and that shame sat on top of his soul like grease.
he felt sick.
and now that he'd said all that, ancelin was positive that avicus would make him pay for it. someday soon. a powerful sense of resentment gripped him and he pulled away to flick his eyes over the horizon.
"masque and the kids chose her," he reminded lilia in a monotone. the subtext was that they did not intend to choose anyone else over avicus.
augur wouldn't fight and he truly didn't want his mate in the middle of his accelerated bullshit. but now there was no chance of anything else.
they should have left days ago.

She sighed again and nodded. It gutted her to see the younger children side with Avicus, especially when she reflected back on her own experiences. The first time Avicus had stepped back up into her role, Lilia had supported her without question. She couldn’t begrudge the kids for doing the same, but she did feel some second-hand regret for them. 

Masque, she thought, should know better. But she had begun to doubt Masque’s intelligence lately anyway, especially considering how much the interaction between the cousins had bothered Ancelin. 

”If we jutht left-“ She said, but broke off, shaking her head. ”I want to, Anthuh, I do, thometimes. I jutht think- ‘You know what, they choothe thith an’ whatever happenth, that’th their shit to deal with an’ they’ll know we were right all along thomeday’ but- I jutht…” She gritted her teeth together. ”I don’t wanna be like huh. An’ everyone elthe that walked out on uth.” She said. 

She paused for a moment. ”But you are right. They did choothe huh.”

it was a frustrating start to their relationship. their future. the plan had been to stay put, work through the winter, leave in spring. he kept returning to this, unable to break from the cyclical thoughts and anger. 
"my dad just up and left after we couldn't find my brother. my mom won't stick around. prophet just disappeared one day. but we didn't, lilia. we've been here. you've been leader. look what they did anyway. can't be abandonment if it's literally their choice to fuck off."
they'd still have augur, right? ancelin was still feeling the harsh bite of being asked to leave so his bloodfam could peacefully rebuild, but that guy was solidly rise despite not being born kin.
"we're nothing like her."

She moved toward him, to lean against the opposite side of the tree, and stare up at him through the leafless branches. Silhouetted against the sky, she could see the vibrant indigo of his irises, and the way they searched the horizon. She wondered briefly if he was watching, expecting to be ambushed. She felt certain the children wouldn't partake, not when Lilia and Ancelin were so fond of them. But Avicus- yes, Avicus could definitely come from nowhere and seek a fight and if she did, Lilia would be ready for her. 

She feared the red woman very little. 

"We're not." She said, and her heart broke a little. "But she'th thtill what the kidth want," She said, and her voice broke. She'd helped raise those kids and yet because of blood, they'd turned to side with their mother. "They're good kidth, I know they are, an' it jutht....Killth me knowin' that not one of 'em hath come up to me to even find out what happened from another perthpective." 

It felt like they didn't care, not at all, and it gutted her. She moved toward Ancelin, to bury her face in the rough, tangly fur of his chest. She clenched her jaws together. Abandonment was one thing, but betrayal was another.

maybe that was the bit that was missing. ancelin was fond of the pups, but he wasn't close to them. he didn't care if they liked him or not, just that they respected his rank. lilia had been close with them all, a mentor, a sister-figure, almost. why they hadn't respected her the way redd or masque had their attention came down to blood.
hadn't they all seen what happened at the hunt?
ancelin growled a low croon, pressing his lips against her forehead. whatever happened, she had him. he had her.
he was about to answer when augur's howl cascaded down into the rise from the borders he'd left behind. cold fear swirled momentarily in his veins, replaced by a simmering determination, the rage rising hotly once more.
"i know you want to stay here and fight, leelee," ancelin muttered, standing slowly to his paws as his hackles prickled, "but i'm her blood. she won't kill me."
rakish, grinning, licking his jaws in anticipation even as true terror for lilia's life began to galvanize ancelin into the posture of a leader.

She leaned into his touch for a moment, before she drew back when of all voices, Augur's comes to bid them to leave. Her ears flick back, and her lips tighten; she did not understand why he was asking them to go. Avicus must have returned, then, to whisper honey into his ears and beseech him. Lilia bristled and growled. She knew he was concerned for her safety, but Lilia had no fear of what she might face. Still; she knew he spoke to her with love, and with the best interests for her future. 

Ancelin shimmered like a knight in polished armour, ready for battle. She looked at him, and loved him for his scars, for his simmering brutality. She did not like the idea of him fighting on her behalf- not because she worried for his safety, as she considered him more than a match for Avicus or whoever might come at him. But because she knew her own power- and as Berserkr, she would happily go down fighting.

"She won't kill me either," Lilia said, and breathed again- this time, a sigh of relief. She lifted her muzzle to press it against her mate's cheek, feeling just behind his soft, velveteen skin the ridge of teeth, ready to rend flesh from flesh. She tilted her face away so she could match their eyes, indigo to cerulean. 

"Fuck them." She said. "Let'th go."

It was not fear that drove her away; it was the desire to get away from the madness that seemed to have spread like a virus through the Redtails.

he waited for avicus.
the moments passed, and she did not come.
ancelin was sick of waiting for weight to come down on his head, and at the same time, it was why he challenged it, vied for it.
there was a scared boy within ancelin, a nervous, lonely child who had looked into the eyes of avicus and seen his own reflected back at him. this boy had no voice; he had no form; he had no standing.
then the leaving. the departures. the coming and going.
but avicus had always been there, and even though he set himself on the fringes of everything, ancelin had known he could search for her purple eyes and know she was there.
until she was not.
leave peacefully so we can rebuild.
we can't have anything as long as you're around, his mind twisted.
the bjern, who had begun to inch in the direction of augur's call, now halted, dumbfounded. she'd been so hell-bent on staying! she was —
ancelin almost asked if lilia was sure, but one long look into the bluesky eyes told him she was. that she was willing to surrender her final confrontation, the pups, her rank, the rise; all of it.
for them. 
everything she'd worked for, gone, and she was shoving the pieces aside and looking at him with finality.
"okay, leelee," ancelin said in a voice that trembled with anticipation. "let's go."

With Ancelin in her eye, she saw all that she wanted. She could shake off the potential of how gratifying it might have been to defeat Avicus in battle. It would have been delicious to see Ancelin pin her to the ground himself- but it would not have won them the respect they wanted. 

So they would build their own home, a place where their own children could run alongside others, and know no abandonment. No betrayal, no disrespect. She was certain. 

She carefully collected her blue shell, and allowed Ancelin a moment to fetch his bearclaw. Taking what little with them that was still precious, they abandoned the Redtails to their Rise and with that first, freeing step over the borders, she felt her spirit lift.