Bearclaw Valley atonement so clean, replenishing me

"@Laurel." indra weaseled out from the den, her voice hushed as a soft blanket of snow doused by gentle sunlight came into view. the forest was still cloaked in snow, but most of it was melting in soft depressions and repetitive gentle drips. indra took a moment to breathe in the scent of pine and snowmelt before setting off after fresh tracks in the snow.

she hobbled along slowly, stopping here and there to inspect a rotten log or a fern that poked its moss-green head out from the canopy of white. overhead the quiet chatter of finches sounded and indra found herself in fairly good spirts despite the twinge of pain in each step and the strange, unsettling sensation of her gut. "laurel?" she called out again, hoping her sister was close.

Laurel had been sleeping not far from the den that Indra was recovering in. She wanted to stay close to her sister since she'd been in several incidents recently; Laurel didn't want anything more to happen to Indra now. She didn't trust the wolves of this pack any further than she could throw them and definitely didn't feel that they could take care of Indra quite enough. She'd been feeling weird lately, her mood swinging high and low even moreso than usually and a strange foreboding feeling, as if something big was going to happen, but she didn't know what.

The soft voice of Indra awakened her and when she looked to the side she saw her sister walk by just beyond some low bushes. "In, I'm here," Laurel called back softly and she lifted herself from her position under the bushes, where she'd found a relatively dry and warm spot, to approach her sister. Tail wagged slowly as she walked up to Indra, glad to see her sister out and about.

as winter slowly melted off of the trees boughs the lone figure picked her way through the woods, until her call was answered. quickly she limped to laurel, her muzzle low as she whined excitedly and embraced her sister's tawny shoulders. no matter who or what walked through her life, no one occupied her heart the way laurel did -- affectionately she placed gentle licks on her sister's cheeks before turning to face her.

"i feel funny." she admitted, suggesting that was one of the reasons she had sought out laurel so early in the morning. she thought she detected that strange bouquet again and stepped back, her muzzle scrunched in confusion. "it's on you too." indra whispered incomprehensibly, skepticism plain on her features as she inspected laurel's body for some physical evidence for the reason their scents were similar.

Laurel nuzzled the fur on Indra's neck and nibbled at her guard hairs in affectionate greeting. Indra seemed confused, though Laurel didn't feel anything yet at all. She didn't realise that anything was happening of yet and tilted her head as her sister said she 'felt funny'.

"I don't feel anything," said Laurel, unaware of the things that were going on inside. "Just the feeling that like... Something big is gonna happen. Something important." She couldn't quite tell what it was and why it was, but it was there and she was certain this feeling was genuine. "What do you feel?" Time to find out if they felt the same.

laurel's affectionate nibbles sent a warm chill down indra's neck and spine -- and somewhere else. she sat upright, pulling slightly away from her sister as she tried to examine a feeling that was already gone.

what was it? how could she articulate it? a deep knit appeared in her forehead as she worked her mind for answers. laurel's words were carefully scrutinized - she had put the strange sensation to words much better than indra had managed to, but indra thought there was something missing.

"kind of like that, i think." she nodded, taking a deep breath. "but also like i'm not me. like i'm not thinking straight."

Laurel didn't put too much stock in what it was that was causing this feeling, what was going on in their bodies, or how to interpret any of it. She didn't feel like interpreting and thinking, she felt like just doing stuff, like always, except maybe slightly different stuff.

Indra, of course, was different. She'd think about stuff and wanted to do the right thing, for some reason (whatever the hell the right thing even meant). Laurel was usually good at pulling her sister from her thoughts but this time she wasn't sure she'd manage. Indra seemed to want to get to the bottom of this. Laurel knew what Indra meant with not thinking straight, but she didn't really care overly much. She often felt different each day, never really felt like there was a Laurel way to feel or think, so she didn't feel overly different now.

"I think we should just enjoy this," Laurel said. "I mean, it might just go away tomorrow and then what've you done with it? Just boringly thought on it forever. C'mon, we should just like, show the world that this is us, like... Don't fuck with us, I dunno." She didn't mean to lay any suggestion in there, of course, though later might come to realise her wording was rather ironic. "C'mon, let's go for a —" She wanted to say 'run', but then realised that Indra couldn't run right now. "— walk and see what we come across, maybe a stream for some fishing, maybe other wolves and we can check if they feel the same or not, whatev'." The one thing that Laurel didn't feel like doing was sitting here chatting about blablablanobodycares!

it was true indra dwelt too much on the semantics of things -- while she would never admit it, perhaps it was her obsession with deciphering and dissecting the ways of the world that caused her such tremendous heartache. she swallowed slowly as her sister explained her own interpretations of the strange sensations. laurel was right, and indra knew it.

she nodded dumbly in agreement, though her brow furrowed slightly as a new thought took hold. laurel's suggesstion of finding another wolf was an exciting endeavor and indra lifted to her feet stiffly. "okay -- other wolves sounds nice."

Indra timidly agreed to go out and about with Laurel and she smiled and nudged her sister's face. "Great, let's go!" It felt a lot like the many adventures the girls'd had when they were little, always with Laurel up front, pulling Indra along on a quest for something. This was no different, for the quest was to make Indra feel good about herself and to maybe meet some stud mufins, err, other wolves, or something.

Laurel nudged Indra's face and then pranced forward in the snow a few meters. "Are there any boys you like?" she asked Indra out of the blue, suddenly curious about the secret love life that Indra might be having; or simply dreaming about.

it took no time for laurel to cheerily execute their new plan, prancing ahead with excitement lacing her steps. indra hobbled after her, a dull smile on her lips as she watched laurel send snow scattering. indra was overwhelmed then by a sense of security: she might not have been confident in her own self or her own body, but she had laurel and that was all that mattered.

she scoffed at the question of any boys she liked -- indra had not entertained any suitors. she had liked skwol in a genial way -- phocion and xan were both regarded platonically, and neither she knew well enough to possibly crush on. as of late every man she had interacted with outside of those three had been awful, garbage things. then there was blondine -- her gaze shifted to laurel in guilty confusion as she thought of the abernathy woman -- she didn't feel like she liked blondine that way, but she felt an affinity for the woman - she was a less impetuous, more experienced laurel and indra felt more comfortable around blondine than any boy.

"no." indra admitted softly, eager to shift the subject. "what about you?"

Indra admitted to not liking any boys, which in Laurel's book was probably a good thing. "Me neither," she said quickly, almost as if it'd be a dumb thing to like boys at all. "Boys are selfish pricks most of the time, anyway. I got all I need," Laurel nipped at Indra's shoulder with a smile, "Right here." Laurel was happy just living alongside her sister and she didn't think that she'd ever fall for a boy. If anything, she would only manipulate them and laugh in their faces when she broke their hearts. That was enough boy-contact for Laurel.

As they passed a brush Laurel rubbed her side against it, leaving pieces of fur all over it, along with her scent, in silent invitation.

she nodded in agreement at laurel's assessment. in indra's mind, the male gender as a whole dismally sucked. she hated almost all of them. her hatred for them had been slow growing, like some tiny and inoccuous vine -- and then one day, there it was bold as a fly-trap, all spiny leaves and serrated, prickled mouth.

she followed laurel's suit, gently rubbing a shoulder on a passing tree. she was still sore and it affected the animation of her movements. "do you ever think about them?" indra suddenly asked, her tone solemn as she looked to laurel with a twinge of sadness in her gaze.

After an initial spurt Laurel waited for Indra to be able to catch up, tail waving as she regarded her sister. At the question asked Laurel indignantly responded, "No!" Then, as she looked at Indra, she realised that it wasn't about boys anymore, but... ".. Oh.." No doubt Indra was talking about Saena and Reek, maybe even Jhala. She wouldn't get this sad about stupid ole' boys.

Of course Laurel often thought about them, but it was often accompanied by bitterness. She remembered vividly the conversation she'd had with Reek in which he had told her that she wasn't anything like he had hoped she would turn out. "They're not worth our time," she said with a derisive tone to her voice. "They abandoned us time and time again in so many ways — I don't care about them anymore." There was a quiver to her voice that suggested otherwise (as well as filling her life with boys to ditch to feel the weak substitute of some form of love even if only for a little bit), but even so Laurel didn't want to admit it. Not even to Indra. Besides, it was better and healthier for In if she thought she could just forget 'bout them that easily, or at least stop caring.

indra wanted to take laurel's words to heart: to bind down her wayfaring thoughts and put their existence to the knife. she knew she could not abolish their memory -- not when so much of her life had been built by the throne of ruin.

she smiled then, a weak smile -- but still a smile. "you're right. you're always right." she believed laurel was right - she knew laurel was right - they had been cast aside the second a new and more exciting individual came along. they had been the first, yet were abandoned like forgotten objects - obscured and eclipsed by everyone that just so happened to be lucky enough to come along after them.

kind of like xan, indra would have thought -- except their interaction with xan and the tawny black wolf had yet to transpire -- that wouldn't happen until tomorrow... but tomorrow, indra would start to draw the parallels in their life, and start to think of how similar xan might be to reek -- and how sad life was that indra and laurel would relive the heartbreak their mother had endured.

Laurel was glad that Indra didn't seem to pick up on the doubt that was hidden somewhere inside of her -- or maybe her sister, like her, simply chose to ignore it -- and she smiled broadly as Indra said that she was right. It was easier to believe her own confidence in her words with her sister backing her up, as everything always was -- easier -- with Indra backing her up. She nosed Indra's cheek lovingly, finding no words to say but also feeling that words weren't necessary.

"You hungry?" asked Laurel suddenly, figuring they could go and dig up some food from the caches if Indra was hungry. If not, she was trying to think of an alternative way to spend the rest of the day together. She still felt giddy and prancy, but maybe Indra shouldn't be doing too much prancing around right now.

indra turned her delicate muzzle into laurel's, embracing her sister's gesture with a rare brand of tenderness. she said nothing further for like laurel, in this particular exchange anything verbal was simply unnecessary. as with all close siblings, sometimes they were able to convey meaning without a single utterance.

she looked up as laurel pulled away, following behind her with the quiet dutifulness she had spent her entire life cultivating. when laurel asked if she was hungry her ears pulled forward in interest and she nodded: "always,"  indra was not ashamed to admit she was perpetually ravenous - she was a poor hunter, and it showed by the leanness of her frame.

"Let's dig up some food for you," Laurel said when her sister admitted to being hungry. "I hid half a rabbit somewhere near here not long ago. Should still be good." The ground was too hard to dig through but she had put it somewhere in a shallow den she'd found and shoved some snow atop it to keep it cold. Laurel was sure it would still be good.

Laurel continued to lead the way until they reached the place where the food had been hidden. She sniffed the spot first to assess it was the right place, and then started to dig snow away. She stopped and sniffed the spot again when she hit something hard and then continued to unearth the carcass... Only to find out that there was mostly bones left and very little meat. "What the —" she murmured with a dark frown on her face as she unearthed the rabbit, which, except for some meat on one of its legs, had mostly bones left. "Who took this! Someone must've eaten most of it already." Laurel tossed what was left in front of Indra, though still looked displeased that most of this rabbit had been taken. Who'd do such a thing? Maybe a hungry pack mate had passed and found it.

indra wordlessly trailed the heels of her sister, her thoughts trickling back to their past, their family, their lives now. she was consumed by these memories until they came upon a den caved in with snowpack, though the hardened surface and crimped pawprints around the area suggested they were not the first to revisit it.

indra lowered her muzzle to the ground and sniffed around the area while laurel dug through the powdered snow. she unearthed a rabbit and proffered it to indra -- indra would never have said it aloud, but it there was hardly more meat on that than on the wing of a mouth. she smiled appreciatively anyway, and cradled the corpse between two claws as her teeth worked what little sustenance remained off of the carcass. once she had finished she licked her lips and looked to laurel thankfully. "thanks.. wonder who took it." maybe it was packmate -- maybe it was a coyote or some intrepid carrion bird. "we could hunt for more if you wanted."

It was annoying that her food had gone, even moreso because it meant she had little to offer her sister. Indra took the food and took what she could but it was clear it was hardly enough. She offered to hunt more together and Laurel frowned, not sure if she'd really stand a lot of chance with Indra there; she may as well go alone, then, as Indra would likely get behind and be of little use.

"Nah," said Laurel dismissively, as if going hunting wasn't fun and that's why she didn't want to go. "We should go and do something else. Or if you're hungry, I could hunt something for you." Laurel waited to see if Indra preferred option one or two, though she had no idea yet if it were option one; so far they had no luck finding pack mates slash boys.

ill start us a new one?

while the meal was no five-star course, it satiated indra's stomach enough that she no longer felt pangs of pain riddle it. she licked her lips in satisfaction and nodded as laurel answered - if laurel wasn't hungry, indra was ready to do something else.

she rose stiffly to her feet and stretched one hind limb carefully after another, still favoring her wounded backside. she knew what laurel wanted -- to raise ruckus in the form of an all-male scavenger hunt. "i bet we could find someone interesting in that valley outside of the borders." (read: i bet we could find some poor soul to torment) she suggested, waiting for her sister's affirmation before moving off.

Indra suggested they go look in the fields outside of Bearclaw Valley. Laurel didn't want to suggest such things because it meant a lot of walking, but she was glad that Indra was the one to suggest it. With a cheery wave of her tail Laurel said, "Yeah, let's go!" She nipped at Indra's shoulder and started leading the way towards the valley's borders, hoping they'd meet someone there.