Tuktu Hinterlands So I'll go- but I'm telling you, I don't wanna go.
Ghost
So then find Dodge, then get out of it
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Ooc — Jess
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Master Guardian
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#11
Now more than the previous times they had spoken, she felt that Colt was beginning to pull away from her with a sort of finality that made her panic. The reason for that was the fact that he was pulling himself together as he did so- which gave him a better perspective on who she really was, and what she would be if she didn't change...If she was even remotely capable of doing so. She felt fear hit her as though she'd just run into a pool of icy water, feeling it ripple and spread through her as she sought to keep her head free of the ice at the surface. He was really ready to pull the plug and leave her, to simply move on- and that thought made her very, very frightened. And Niamh didn't deal well with fear. 

This wasn't just something she could deal with as easily as she dealt with a trespassing coyote, or a thieving fox. Those things were easy and she felt good- all it took was just brute force and a bit of speed. This was something completely different, and while she wanted to fight for Colt as much as she could, she was ill-equipped to do so. She really did think that perhaps throwing herself down the slope of the plateau might be enough to get him to believe she meant what she'd said...But she couldn't handle things that weren't tangible or physical terribly well. 

"I will give you that, the benefit of the doubt, I promise," She said, her voice trembling. She was desperate now, and it was unbecoming. "I just...I didn't know how to do that...But I do now. And I can change, I just...I'm stupid, Colt, when it comes to this stuff. I just need to be shown how." She said, grappling with everything she could to try and convince him exactly how she felt. There was no coming to terms wit rejection for Niamh- she was going to plead and fight and beg, tooth and claw, if necessary. It seemed unfathomable that she wouldn't necessarily get her way- because now more than ever she knew exactly how she felt about Colt, and nothing had ever remotely made her feel this way before. She was finally starting to get what it was to love someone. Pity it took losing someone very special in order to learn that...But in Niamh's mind, it was far from over, yet. 

When he said it was over, she shook her head and took a few steps forward. She was willing to throw herself at him and cling to him if necessary, but she wasn't going to do that right off the bat. "It is worth saving, Colt. I know it because it's the only thing I want. I want you. I want only you; I have nothing else to anchor me, no one else, and that's how I know that you are my priority." She said. "No one else, and nothing else will ever come before you; not even me...And you know that means a lot because you know how selfish I am." She said. "Please, Colt...Give me a chance. I'm begging you." She said. Everything she said was the honest truth. Why else would she have been so willing to leave the Plateau now? Because her reason to be there was no longer there. She hadn't realized it, necessarily, when she'd first brought it up to Towhee- but though Towhee was her person, her anchor had been Colt. And without that, she could do nothing more than drift like a loose balloon.
Messages In This Thread
RE: So I'll go- but I'm telling you, I don't wanna go. - by RIP Niamh - January 14, 2019, 12:20 PM