The Sentinels Shake it out and light a cigarette

For some reason, he kept returning to the places he knew before; sometimes, he wouldn't even remember making the decision to wander there, and he would regain awareness as he stood in some place the was familiar. Like this pace--he had been here many times, and he remembered seeing the scorched forest through the eyes of the wolf he used to be. He used to think this place was eerie and mysterious, but now he felt nothing--he felt nothing all the time save for the times where he was paralyzed by a rush of memory and feelings, usually fear and pain, and the overwhelming need to survive. He shook his head, not wanting to tempt another memory out to torture his mind. The ground in front of him was partially illuminated by the the light of the moon as he began to move; it was something old him would have thought was interesting, pretty even, but the wolf padding across the seared ground now barely even noticed it except to be grateful for the help as he navigated his way through the charred trees. 

Eventually, he stopped walking and took a seat, unsure what he even wanted to do now. He didn't even know why he was here or why he had come back to Teekon. He just kind of felt like he was struggling to get through each day and make it to the next without actually living, every new day just kind of melting into the previous one. He wouldn't say it was how he wanted to move through life, but he didn't know how else to deal. He released a heavy sigh, his shoulders sagging a little before he turned his gaze up to the sky; it was the one thing that looked the same now as it had before, and he was surprised to find it didn't bother him.

um hello hope u don't mind.  This might be interesting >>

These trees had always freaked her out a bit.  Not that there was anything particularly wrong with this place; but Roz tended to believe a bit in ghosts, and if any place had them, it was here.

She stalked among the ruined forest and gazed at the trees with wariness, though it wasn't enough to stop her from coming here.  Her roaming lands were small enough as it was.  She spared a thought to wonder when and if this place might return; she didn't recall having come here before whatever fire this was struck, but she might have.

Wait... hold on.  Her periphery on her good eye caught a wolf, and she recognized him.  Shit, so he had managed to evade the damn bear!  Her marred features broke into a wide grin, and she called out - Zig!  Doubtless he'd know who she was, though she'd looked a sight prettier last time they met.

I don't mind at all! This is great!

He completely missed any tells of her approach, only realizing she was there when she spoke. Anger coursed through him as awful memories came flooding back, freezing him in place for a few seconds as he tried to fight the overwhelming anguish that sought to bring him to the ground. 

Finally when he had regained some amount of control, he jumped up and whirled around on the stranger. Don't call me that, he growled, hackles raising as he stared murderously at her. The sides of his chest expanded and deflated in quick bursts as his breaths came out in panting snarls. At that moment, nothing seemed familiar to him and he could feel the rage escalating to the place where he could no longer control any of his actions--the place he tried desperately avoid by keeping himself numb. 

But then something about her face, even as scarred as it was, made him freeze again. 

He swallowed hard as different memories flooded his mind--memories of Ironsea and Rosalyn. He liked Rosalyn--trusted her. His breathing began to slow, and he stumbled back into a sitting position, unable to say anything yet. His face crumpled into an expression of defeat, tired eyes falling to the ground as he tried to gather himself enough to apologize.

His reaction caught her completely off guard.  There was no recognition, only fury, and she took a step backwards.  She couldn't afford another fight and wasn't quite quick enough to outrun him yet.

She'd liked Zigzag quite a bit when Ironsea had been here.  He'd been one of the better crew mates and one of those she'd worried after most when the bear hit.  Had something happened? Was he angry they'd left?

But then something seemed to shift in him and he sat back, looking at the ground.  She watched him for a moment longer, then frowned.  What the hell happened? She asked, quietly, non threatening.  He wasn't hers any longer, but they were still crew, least until he decided he did want a piece of her.

He finally calmed enough to look at her once more. I could ask you the same question, he replied, eyebrow lifting slightly as he took in her marred face and ruined eye. He purposely shifted the conversation to Rosalyn and away from himself, not even close to being ready to tell anyone the details of his time as a prisoner. His heart began to slow to a less painful rhythm, and he drew in a steadying breath. I'm sorry, he said quietly, gaze dropping once more out of guilt. I...just can't hear that name. I go by Zodiac now. The words were more hurried and pained than he had wanted them to be, momentarily exposing his inner-turmoil. Zodiac's sad, ocean gaze lifted to hers once more, the whisper of a silent plea swimming in the depths of his eyes as he inwardly prayed that she wouldn't ask anymore questions. He wasn't sure what his reaction would be, and he didn't want to subject her to his unpredictable rage again.

He was referring to her face when he turned the question back, but she immediately went back to that day with the bear.  She tended to at times forget the scars she wore and this was no exception.  Rosalyn thought he was speaking of Ironsea.

We tried to stop it, but in the end, it was run or die.  I'm glad you got away.  There was a heartfelt undercurrent of meaning there.  Ironsea was no more, but they'd been a good crew to her and she was glad at least some were confirmed alive.  Zig was one of the highest on the list she'd thought of after.

Or not Zig.  She frowned, then shrugged.  Doesn't matter what you go by.  You are well, though?  Whatever happened post Ironsea was not important.  She'd failed them all in a few ways, but there wasn't any going back now.

He stared at her, confusion crossing his face for a few moments before he realized what Rosalyn was talking about. By the time I got to the bay....everything was destroyed, and I didn't know where anyone was, he offered, mind drifting to the day that had indirectly marked the downfall of his life and of Zigzag. He wanted to say more, but the words wouldn't come for some reason, and he eventually gave up; it happened often, although he could never figure out why. Maybe it was a way for his messed up brain to protect itself. 

He had to suppress a sad huff of laughter at her question. He was alive, and some days he wished he wasn't even that. But strangely, he didn't want to be disrespectful, so he mustered up a slight shrug. Yeah, mostly, he offered. It was pretty much a lie, but he felt like it was what he was supposed to say. His eyes shifted around them, searching for danger that probably wasn't there before resting on his former leader once more. How about you? Zodiac asked. He was surprised to realize he actually wanted to know her answer; it was different from his usual apathy where others were concerned.

He didn't seem fine, what with the name thing and all, but at least he wasn't snapping at her anymore.  She wasn't about to pry about it.  And she didn't have any qualms sharing her own status.

Erzulie and I came north after.  We joined a pack, Rusalka.  For the most part, fine also, aside from some trouble with another pack.  Suddenly she remembered that she wore the visible evidence of that, and her tail flicked uncomfortably.  Left some marks also.  She turned her head slightly and subtly, aligning so that her ruined eye was less prominent and he was faced square on by her good one instead.

He was no stranger to physical reminders of past horrors, and he had already caught a glimpse of hers before she turned her scarred side further from him. He never gave much thought to his aside from when he caught an occasional glance of them in his reflection, but he understood being self-conscious about them, and so he did not comment on them. Instead, he steered the conversation to something less difficult. Rusalka, he said first. And things have settled down since then? Zodiac asked. He was glad to hear that Erzulie was there as well; she was yet another Ironsea wolf he had been fond of. He didn't remember much, but he remembered the wolves who had shown him kindness. He wondered if he should be there with them instead of back at the bay where he knew no one and felt alarmingly out of place at all times. But he feared his continued presence anywhere might be end up a drain for anyone involved.

She didn't want to lie to him, though convincing him to join would be a huge plus in her books.  She needed more she could trust and whose company she enjoyed, and apparently those wolves were few and far between in these wilds.

Not exactly.  The trouble is, well, trouble.  But hopefully soon things will.  She wouldn't say things were hunky dory but she didn't want to dive into details much either.  I'd speak for you, if you wanted a space.  But I imagine you have one of your own?  

At this time he smelled like the new wolves of the Bay, one of whom she'd met.  She hoped maybe a few of them were still there, but since he didn't mention it, she didn't ask.

Trouble did always have a pesky way of finding its way back to you; he knew that better than most. What she offered next surprised him a little. He thought for sure she would not want him anywhere near after experiencing his strange outburst. He wondered if it would even be safe for him to remain around so many. Even now, he spent little time at the bay, afraid of what each day would mean for him emotionally. I appreciate it, he replied, shifting his gaze to the side. If I find myself there and needing a place to stay, then I will call for you, he quickly added. He had no idea what he was doing with his life, but maybe one day he would get his shit together and decide that he needed be with wolves he knew instead of fighting just to pass the time and distract his warped mind.

Be sure you do, she replied, smiling.  Until then, look after yourself, Z.  It really is good to see you.  Honesty, and about as much sentiment as she'd give.  She figured him the same sort as she unless that had changed - they didn't really do feely moments, but she was glad to have found him alive and relatively well.

She needed to head back, but waited.  If he had more questions, she'd answer them, but her own were sated.  She didn't have a whole lot else to say.

Zodiac nodded. um, you too, was all he could dig up to say. He really was glad that she was well, and he wished he could go with her, but he knew he wasn't ready to stay in any one place right now. He would surely just mess things up there like he always did, and she was probably one of the only wolves he really didn't want to affect with his shit. 

He watched her leave and when her form disappeared from sight, he turned and headed in the opposite direction in search of a distraction once more.