Blacktail Deer Plateau Maybe I'm homesick for it all

Like that, they were gone.  Rosalyn refused to be convinced they had not done a service.  She knew, however, that her own actions had not been entirely unselfish.

Even before Smokestep, family ties had brought out an ugly side in the woman.  Despite the mother that she had become, she harshly believed that putting family over crew led to destruction.  The proof was there. Smokestep's actions had led to the fall of Ironsea.  Her own had led to her isolation and, maybe, a part of the hardships in Rusalka.  Even Caiaphas' revenge had been driven by family.

She'd needed proof and she'd gotten it; they'd chosen family over pack, and Rusalka had dodged a bullet.

She was aware they'd made friends here and that those friends would not approve.  Her own children might even be some of them.  Reyes' intensity had rivaled she and Erzulie's own, but his reasons were suspect, and she wasn't sure yet what to make of it.  Aningan was upset, and Raleska... she'd cross that when they arrived there.

For now, she sat, closing her eyes and reveling in the feeling of that encounter.  It had been too long since she'd done something reckless but right and joined with a pack in a common goal.  They needed a hunt, and soon.  Her ears flicked to the birds in the trees around her, and she stood, shaking the idleness from her pelt as she did.

Nieve was hesitant in the wake of conflict. She didn't retreat the way that Harps did, nor did she contemplate whether this meant a great shift was coming to Rusalka. She merely kept her head down, kept herself busy, and did her best not to get in anyone's way. Once or twice, she considered leaving on another scouting mission just to get out of dodge for a while, but ultimately chose to stick close to home in the event she was needed.

It was guilt that ate into her foremost thoughts when she spotted Rosalyn and found herself faltering. Her mothers had never given her any reason to doubt them, nor any reason to fear them. Ying had needed to be brought down a peg or two, so it wasn't like she disagreed with what her mothers had done. Nieve just wasn't made for displays like the one Erzulie and Rosalyn had forced the other day. She was conflicted about the treatment of the other two, and it made her hesitate. Reading the room was something she usually excelled at, but Nieve was unable to get a bead on what her mothers had been thinking.

Only one way to find out. She padded toward Rosalyn, her own ears twitching toward the birdsong, and quietly asked, what was that all about, mamá?

Rosalyn had been expecting questions.  She was a little surprised that the first came from Nieve, but she smiled fondly at her daughter when she asked.  It was good that, rather than hide her misgivings, she was willing to come to her.

The pirate stretched, then sat, inviting Nieve to do so next to her with a look.  Your maman and I needed to test them. She began, remembering the conversation.  Aningan's questions had almost made them pause in it, but then they'd noted the trips.

They'd been leaving for the coast, and associating with strangers.  Normally I would not mind, I understand the need to wander.  But they invited family of their own in who did not speak our language, and they seemed unwilling to learn how the pack did things.  With Ying's displays, I assumed it was only a matter of time before she attempted to take Rusalka as their own.  She smiled.  Better to give them the option now than when they'd drawn in more of their own.

She wasn't sure if Nieve would understand, and didn't blame any who didn't.  Rosalyn hated the system they lived under, hierarchy always in flux.  But while Aningan led, and Rusalka remained as it was, she was as bound to it as any other.

What Rosalyn said made sense, but Nieve also believed that Huā had the right of things. She was torn between the primal and feral nature of Rusalka, which she'd always known but rarely experienced, and the compassion that lived within her heart. O, if only she could be more like her mothers! There was no place in this world for sentiment and compassion.

But they were Nieve's gift and curse alike. I'm not sad to see Ying go, she admitted, because that much at least she agreed with. Nieve often considered whether there was something she'd done to earn Ying's disrespect and ire and she couldn't think of anything. Perhaps it was because there was no reason. Perhaps Ying was simple an aggressively ambitious she-wolf that Rosalyn and Erzulie uprooted before she could get a firm hold.

But why the other two? They didn't do anything wrong. They were siblings, sure, and probably had the same sentiments... but they weren't the same wolf. Nieve would hate to be held accountable for the actions of any one of her siblings, so holding Huā and Mei in contempt because of Ying seemed wrong. You could've just kicked Ying out. Maybe they'd have gone peacefully then. Doubtful, but one could wish.

She asked good questions.  Rosalyn did not know that her wife had her eye on Reyes for leadership, but that was funny, because of her children it was perhaps Nieve who would do the best at it.  She wondered about that... Rusalka's way was set in the pirate for now, but it had never been a path she enjoyed.  And at her first convenience, it was a path she'd leave.  She preferred respect to fear or dominance.

The other two did not have to leave.  Ying did not have to either.  That is exactly why we tested them.  She said, matter of factly.  Wolves lie about their intentions and loyalties easily, but when faced with being shown their place, they couldn't hide it.  They had too much pride in their own family and not enough in Rusalka's.  Even if they had only cast aside Ying, Rosalyn was now convinced Hua or Mei would have done the work to turn much of the pack to her.  Allowing them the time and the platform was out of the question.

I do not think they would have stayed happily without her.  And I wish them the best, elsewhere.  She shrugged.  She held no enmity towards them, but was not sad to see any of them gone from Rusalka.  Not even Hua, who she'd liked.  All were better served now than before.

No doubt Erzulie and Rosalyn both had noticed that their golden daughter, usually lively and social, was plagued with anxiety of late. It had little bearing on her duties to the pack, for she'd truly scouted during the week she was away just like she said she would, but it would be nearly impossible for them not to notice something amiss with her ever since she was challenged. She wore her heart on her sleeve. Ying's departure should've lessened her anxiety, but instead, the whole display had only made it worse. She feared now what would happen to her if she ever proved unsatisfactory to her family... which was unfair to them for her to even think about, but anxiety was unfair in general.

Rosalyn's explanation made a lot more sense than Erzulie's did on the same subject. She was grateful for the different perspective; growing up she'd always thought Rosalyn was the fiercer of the two, but she often found her thoughts aligning with her pirate mother's. The older she got, the more true this seemed to become. Framing it as a test that the triplets had failed made it a little more palatable. Granted, she'd never seen that side of either of her mothers before, so even if it was a test, she still couldn't agree with the method. Is that why Ying challenged me and still refused to be respectful when she lost? Nieve wondered, swallowing a flutter of panic in her throat. Because she has more pride in her family than Rusalka?

Would Ying have challenged them all, given time? It wasn't something she liked to think about, but it put Rosalyn and Erzulie's intervention into clearer perspective if that was the concern that sparked all of this.

Reading the motives of others was a skill Rosalyn consistently sought to hone, and residing with Caiaphas had shown it a useful skill with both strangers and packmates alike.  There was no way to know for certain, but Nieve's assumption hit Rosalyn's square.

They told me they thought the children were rude here, she said, then laughed.  She looked at Nieve then, and there was a rare glint of pride.  You aren't a child, and you don't deserve disrespect.  But yes, I think they were so convinced their ways were better that they refused to see Rusalka for what it was.

The pack had changed from its roots.  Challenges were free, but they weren't without potential repercussions; most of the pack was family, and while family could perhaps vie against one another, outsiders needed to earn that right.  Even Rosencrantz seemed to understand that.

What would you have done? she asked, curious if it would have been different.

Rosalyn cleared things up neatly, putting to rest many of Nieve's anxieties in a single sentence. They thought the children were rude. They thought of her as a child. It made her feel simultaneously irritated and sick to her stomach. Irritated because she'd stopped being a child the day the sea smashed their beloved home and sent them fleeing from it, the day her siblings went missing again, and every day since then. Sick to her stomach because she felt peculiarly like she had no right to be upset that Ying and her sisters thought of her this way.

Regardless, to know that Ying and her family were simply stuck in their ways lifted a huge weight off Nieve's back. All along she'd thought she'd done something wrong by trying to put a stop to the argument that day, when she actually hadn't been wrong at all. She wasn't a child. She deserved respect. But the triplets saw only a kid when they looked at her. That makes sense, Nieve breathed and was surprised to find her voice lighter than before.

Rosalyn posed her a question then and Nieve, usually smart and thoughtful, lacked a satisfactory answer. Probably nothing, she admitted, not bothering to hide her sheepish grin. They worked for the pack even if they were more devoted to their family the whole time, and I thought maybe I did something wrong, so... I probably would've just... accepted it eventually. But now she knew she didn't have to. Not everything that older wolves did was right. Not everything that wolves did with complete confidence was right, either. Ying's challenge and behaviour had shaken Nieve's faith in herself, but not because of anything Nieve did herself. It was Ying's prejudice. It had always been Ying's prejudice.

I get it now, she said, breathing a low sigh of relief. Why you did what you did. You just seemed so... not like yourself. And maman, too. Nieve was still infinitely more bothered by what she'd seen of Erzulie that day, for Rosalyn she'd always believed to be the fiercer of the two and expected that kind of thing from. Truthfully, it was unexpected from both of them, but less so from the pirate.

A fair assessment, but wrong.  Rosalyn didn't want to belabor the point by saying it, but the beauty of a pack that was family was that you decided who fit that and who didn't.  Work didn't guarantee a seat, though it certainly helped to save one.  Agreement was just as important, as was cooperation.  It was maybe unusual to come from a Pirate, but for all the wolves she'd run with, crew had only ever been those she deemed worthy of being at her back.

Your maman is a fiercer wolf than any of us, Rosalyn said, though there was both affection and pride when she said it.  She might have the scars to bear but Erzulie had long since shown herself first to leap into a fight.  I prefer to talk, mostly.  I'm glad it didn't come to more.  She wouldn't deny she'd felt a fierce joy in flexing that side of herself, though.  It wasn't one she showed very often nowadays.

How are you, with a fight? she asked suddenly.  She'd paid little attention to their studies, preferring to let them find their own ways.  If Nieve wanted to go scouting, however, she was bound to run across trouble sooner or later.  It would be good to at least know enough to gain a head start.

Nieve nodded absently. Maybe it was simply Erzulie's sadness that tempered her more vicious tendencies long enough for her daughter to think she didn't have any. They were wolves, after all, and even the gentlest of them was capable of causing serious harm. Knowing that didn't make her feel any better. She'd always considered herself to be a perceptive young wolf; learning that she was so completely wrong about her family members and their temperaments made her second guess just about everything.

She didn't respond verbally until Rosalyn asked how she was in a fight. I dunno, she said with a rolling shrug. Never been in one. I don't want to be. I'm sure I'd be fine if I absolutely had to. Even Ying's challenge was met with resolute refusal to fight. If push came to shove then Nieve had no doubt she could hold her own if she had to, given who her mothers were, but if given the choice she would avoid a fight. She would never run or back down from something she believed in, but words would always be her preference.

we can wrap here or go on, I don't have a pref!!

Rosalyn didn't blame Nieve for her hesitance, but she didn't accept it at face value either.  Much as she enjoyed her daughter's diplomatic take, fighting was a skill she'd learned to be necessary.  Survival tended to cost more than words.

If you'd like, I could show you some of what I know. Nieve had never fought, but perhaps she could spar.  Being taught was different, and they could start slowly.  But the girl should know something, even if most of the pirate's moves tended towards cheap tricks and underhanded methods.  If Nieve agreed (as she hoped) she'd show her a move or two.  If not, she'd accept, though not without the advice of her preference - she did not want her daughter to ever see a situation in which she was unable to defend herself.