Big Salmon Lake I got used to living without you

He wasn't going to come after her.

She should have known, but he always had. The fear in his voice had been real, but she struggled with what it meant. He was here, could have been for weeks, while she... no. No. For weeks she'd told herself what she'd do when he came back because the scarier option was always that he wouldn't. If she promised herself she'd be the one to kill him, then she wouldn't have to face the fact that he might never come back.

Tell Kill..

She didn't think she'd ever felt pain like this. If she walked away right now, that was it. He wasn't coming. She could hear it in the way he swallowed the words. Like he couldn't even say the name. She stopped, rigid, as panic began to eat away at her fury. He didn't want to come back. He hadn't missed her. But the thought of him disappearing again envoked such a wall of desperate fear that she almost lost it.

No. NO! Fennec whirled. I don't care. You don't get to run away from this. She was crying. She didn't know when she'd even started doing that. Not without us. You can't leave me behind again. She wouldn't let him. She could pretend that she didn't need him all she wanted, but that was an absolute fucking lie. If she let him walk out right now, her life was done. She'd never forgive herself again.