Stone Circle Happiness Is A Warm Gun

I was going to write this after the Leta thread, but I couldn't wait any longer, so prepare for some angst, and long writing xD. Plus PP over Vespera is approved!

Mature Content Warning

This thread has been marked as mature. By reading and/or participating in this thread, you acknowledge that you are of age or have permission from your parents to do so.

The participants have indicated the following reason(s) for this warning: Attempt at Suicide.

The day started out like normal, the early morning breeze came swooping in, unsettling the once dormant leaves as they helplessly swayed on their branches, only to be held by a thin stem that way preventing them from getting swept away. The sun was stretching itself across the morning sky with its beams of light scattering through the land without leaving a single stone unturned. But with every ray that the sun cast, a shadow grew, the dark streak casting from the sun grew with its body lying upon the Easthollow wolf that stood, Vespera. The sounds of the birds fell upon deaf ears, their songs were a blur, and soon, tone-deaf. The shadow that rested on the young female's shoulders, the pillars that were on her body were starting to form mountain peaks since there was no fat to speak of on her body. Her fur was mangled, with each individual hair that stemmed from her was intertwined with another in a twisted way, her once healthy form was withering away, her ribs were sticking out like an elder horse and her legs looked like old twigs that were barely clinging onto life.

Vespera's once proud and dense tail was now reduced to a threadbare piece of bone that hung from her body, only moving when she did. Her violet gaze, once full of rebellion, youth and light were faded, there was no spark left in this young soul. The bags under her eyes were building up from the lack of sleep, they were the only things that were holding up her orbs. The only last thing to shine on her was her chest fur, her snow-white chest fur that had lost its shine, it was dull in color, no eye-grabbing features about it, her chest was covered by rotting fur. The only sound that reached her was the calling of the river, the little running of the water was the most relieving sound that she had heard in a long time. The outskirts of her vision were clouding, the surrounding fauna was starting to blend together into a sheet of white, the sounds of natures calling were fading, reduced to nothing, but the one sound that remained was the small body of water running through the territory of Easthollow. The tugging music to her young ears had possessed the girl, it was calling her, it was singing to her, the noise was growing louder and louder to where her heartbeat and breathing was silence.

The young girl's stiff and crippling legs found new strength as something took hold of her, each step felt numb, her pads had no nerves left as they strode along, feeling nothing. The dark female's mind began digging up darker thoughts and they began to grab hold of her and wouldn't let go, they betrayed me, they all did, every single one of them. Even Valette, someone who I had thought would break the chains that were holding me, and now she has put on a stronger material, and unbreakable lock. She and Greyback are just like the rest of them who turn their back on someone like me, especially that sorry excuse of a bitch like Greyback. He had NO right NO privilege, I don't give a rat's ass if he is the stupid fucking Patriarch, he is an entitled bastard that deserves to rot in hell rot in the damn fucking pit he crawled out of. He is a blending of the rest of them, fuck him and everything that he is, FUCK HIM, FUCK HIM. FUCK HIS TITTLE, HE IS NOTHING WITHOUT IT. VALETTE CAN HANDLE HERSELF SHE HAS BEEN DOING IT FOR YEARS, SHE DOESN'T NEED HIM, HE DOESN'T DESERVE HER. HE IS AN ENTITLED BASTARD THAT CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF, AND VALETTE CAN ROT IN HELL WITH HIM SINCE SHE SEEMS SO DEVOTED TO THAT SACK OF SHIT. All of these thoughts had brought her towards the end of the land, her claws curved into the Earth that she stood on, her possessed eyes laid upon the calm water, then, it suddenly hit her. 

"It's me," whispered to herself, her gaze unblinking, her body unmoving. The fresh breeze eased its way into her discorded fur and flapped it with even paces, the cry of the river was as soothing as the song of a siren, the beautiful melody of the running river was beautiful. Her head slowly tilted down, the shinning water was eye candy to her, the morning sun was dancing on it was such grace, the light was giving a small spark of flame in her eyes. Another flicker of thought crossed her mind like vines on an old house, it's me, all that has happened is because of me... Even before all this... Before all this... Before... There was a small burning in her eyes, a burning that was followed by her vision was watery like she was underwater, but she didn't stir, she didn't sniff, she didn't blink, the water came down her face with a smooth trail. They wouldn't stop, they fell helplessly off of her decaying face, touching the ground and making a darker spot before blending with the rest of the ground. Everything makes sense, my existence, my every being was made for the beating from others, I am a bastard child, so is my entire family, my siblings, my parents. It is because of me that Leta had to suffer, I deserve everything that I get and received from those who have wronged me. Her wounds that were given by Greyback had grown numb, they have molded into her, but she knew that they would be covered.

Her eyes were glued to the river, her heart ached, she sought comfort in being succumbed by the water and wrap around her worthless body. The wind stopped as did her mind, there was silence, not even the river was calling to her anymore, there was nothing. Vespera took one deep breath, she lowered her body to where her elbows stuck out like pine needles and her tail laid dead like a snake, and without hesitating any longer, her new, but little profound strength had struck her to where she launched herself into the air, her paws became limp and her body helplessly flung into the air. Her pupils grew but there was no change in her dull facial expression, the water looked like a gateway to heaven. Mom, Dad, I'm coming home... It was her last thought before shutting her eyes and coming to peace with her action, she landed into the river with a heavy crash, but a pointed rock had pierced her face, making a mark on the right side of her face, carving a line down from the top of her brow to less than halfway across her cheek, missing the eye itself. The rock seemed to let go of her as her blood came rushing out like a broken dam waiting to burst, her tissue ripped, the threads were easily broken for the rock had dug into her flesh, but she didn't mind. The rest of her body was submerging into the water, the calming waves were a comforting blanket, she was small, she had hit somewhat of a deep end which was more than perfect to her.

Vespera let go, her lungs shriveled up after she released her breath, she didn't take in any oxygen, she let the water into her with a warm welcome as it flooded into her mouth and her nostrils. Her internal body was shrieking as her inner flesh was burning, the water came flooding into her lungs and she didn't fight it, the water was invading her body, but her weak state left the fight in the hands of the river as it consumed her, and filled her weak body. She was content. She laid her as her fight for life was falling short and everything was becoming tight. She had fulfilled her purpose.

marten was nothing but an innocent bystander. he did not know vespera -- not like that -- and he most certainly did not know the turmoil she faced. he was not there the day of leta's death, he only knew the tale. and even so, no one wanted to speak of the details that followed... marten only knew what happened, and he left it at that. why would he hurt by prying? it was not his business, it did not effect him not to know. he did not know what ailed the wolf -- how could he? so, as he stood below by the river, merely glancing to see the dark wolf -- who did not seem to notice him at all, mind you -- marten watched from the corner of his eye as her body was suddenly airborne -- crashing through the air and into the river.

red. stained red was a streak along the rushing water as marten quickly turned his attention to the river. he tracked it with his gaze until it found the dark figure of vespera sinking into the water. marten, surprisingly calm for what had just happened, moved quickly. he did not fully understand what had happened -- perhaps she had slipped -- but he saw the blood and that she was not coming to the surface, and he needed to act fast. 

the pale boy -- oh, but was he hardly even so? -- dove into the water, limbs propelling him towards her figure. thankfully he moved with the current in his favor, and was able to arrived quickly and with little effort. marten was a dog, he could swim, but he had never gone below the surface before. still, he remained unperturbed, knowing that if he didn't do it he may allow for something worse to happen. he ducked below the surface, feeling the cool water against his face, eyes blinking as he swam down, down, down. it was not a pleasant feeling -- and he couldn't really see. but marten kept going, down, down, down. murkiness swam around him, blood tainting the water. bubbles rose from his nose, the tightness of holding his breath hitting his chest. but he swam still. 

until -- his teeth found fur, and he latched on and pulling up, now against the current as he began to paddle upwards. it was harder, now, with dead weight attached to his mouth. he held her by what must've been the scruff -- but perhaps not, marten could not see well no matter how many times he blinked. up, up, up he swam, every muscle in his body screaming, until he hit the surface. and with a huge gasp of air through wet fur, marten let the current carry him for a moment, before beginning again to paddle, straining to make it to shore. 

a forelimb caught the edge of a stone, and with all his effort marten managed to use it to grab hold of the shore. he hoisted himself and the body along with him, panting from his exhaustive efforts -- though his adrenaline was doing it's job. he looked to the dark body, waiting for it to move. it did no such thing. wondering what on earth had happened, unsure of what he could do but knowing he should try, marten tilted back his head and called for wolves he knew. @Greyback and @Valette, his mama @Indra, @Arlette, too. but anyone could come. he needed help, she needed help, and more heads were better than one.

in the meantime, marten reared back and slammed his forepaws down on her chest. it was incredibly improper technique, possibly more damaging than helpful, but he knew he needed to get the water out of her lungs, and this was the only way he could think of doing it. again. and again. blood from the wound on her face pooled around her, but marten had no time to worry about that. again. and again.

Greyback had heard the call, strained and urgent,and was quick to turn and make haste, following it to the source of the river. Upon arrival he notice that it came from Marten, who stood soaking wet and above a black mass; his fur weighted down and dripping onto the wet rocky outcrop. His body was bouncing, his paws pushing into the wolf below him. Greyback blinked and ventured closer, his tail raised in suspicion.

A silent gasp left his parted jaws as he stared down at who was under him. Vespera laid limp, her body contorted and not moving. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was going on, an with a firm "let me," the large man ushered Marten aside to do the job himself.

Bending down, Greyback nosed at the black females face, attempting to open her mouth more and roll her flat before taking a (ridiculously) large paw and pushing right on her rib cage over and over. "How did this happen?" He asked while doing so, not taking his eyes and ministrations off her.

as marten continued, not sure if he was helping but doing what logically made sense, he heard someone approach. he turned, thankful to see greyback -- a bit of relief flooding him. he took a few steps back as greyback pushed through, shaking his head as questions began to come. 

i don't know -- i think she fell from there, he pointed to where he'd seen her just moments before he'd caught a glimpse of her falling, she must've hit her head, she wasn't swimming, i had to go in and pull her out. this was all true, and all in sequence. marten wished he had more information to give to the man, but it simple wasn't available. he stayed put, quieted until referred to, waiting for any sign of change, making note of what greyback was doing for future reference... though he hoped this would never happen again.

Vespera was at peace now, she didn't have to suffer or make others suffer, she could finally be free. The water that had entered her body was doing its job, it was reaching every corner it could while her body protested, it screamed at her to get out and move but Vespera used every ounce of strength she had left to resist her instincts. Her vision was blacked out, she was finally unconscious with her body clinging on with what little life it could get, but the dark female prepared for this. She had been starving herself so that if drowning were to fail, her starvation would finish the job since there was barely any fat for her body to feed off of, therefore, there was no energy and no strength. Her river blanket was securing her death, she figured she was small enough that she would go unnoticed, it was all falling together perfectly. Her body would lie there in the lifeless calm river of Easthollow, forgotten, scared, and worthless, just like she wanted. Her new scar on her right eye was quickly making a home for itself on her body, the blood was streaming out of her like a newly broken damn, but she was becoming numb to the pain. She wanted to feel excited, but there was no energy to feel emotions anymore, and she was more than okay with that. She drew one last smile as her heart was increasingly slowing to a complete stop.

Suddenly, there was a disturbing movement in the river, as there was a frantic motion disturbing the once calm river, her calm blanket. Vespera couldn't see what it was for she was blacked out and was waiting for death with open paws. Teeth latched on her scruff like a bear trap as she was hastily moved from her comfort spot and slowly dragged out of the river with much struggle. Her mind was ticking very slowly, the cogs in her brain were telling her that she was being dragged out of her planned death and there was still a chance of life. But the female ignored this signal, she thought she was being dragged into the afterlife, and she couldn't wait to wake up. Her decrepit like body was dragged onto the shore with her paws and tail numb and sliding helplessly as she was being moved. There was a pause, she couldn't hear anything, she couldn't feel anything, couldn't see anything, her senses were turned off as was the rest of her body. Without warning, something slammed into the female's chest, this motion was being repeated over and over. Vespera thought it was her parents lightly bumping her with their wet noses, urging her to get up, her mind was disconnected with her body, she was finally happy that she could have what she wanted most but was denied of it, a family again.

Something else happened, this time, another figure approached, this figure moved her mouth open which wouldn't take much effort for her body had no nerve left to resist and was shutting down fast. Then, there was more rapid movement on her chest, this time, something was happening with her internally, her body had seen a chance at waking up since she seemed disconnected with her body, her internal organs had sought the chance and took over and went along with the pumping motions to get the unwanted liquids out of their systems. The female felt her orbs wanting to open, she was expecting to see the warm faces of her mother and father, the faces of hope, love, and security. But that's what her eyes weren't going to open too, in fact, she got a rather rude awakening as her system saw its chance, and with everything happening at once, the outside help had pushed her organs to drain the water out of her system. Suddenly, her body crippled upward like a dying bug with her violet orbs shooting wide open as if she had been shot, and without warning, the water she was storing shot out of her mouth all at once like a damaged water hose. Her body deflated to show her weak form with her ribcage popping out and her spin revealing itself, she looked like a skeleton with flesh armor. As the water seeped out, her organs rushed for control and began rapidly trying to bring itself alive without her consent, her body fell limp to the ground as her eyelids covered her gaze again.

Her heart was slow but it began to command her organs to start working as her diaphragm was slow to get her lungs started again with her opened mouth, taking in as much oxygen as it needed. She couldn't protest, her body had taken control and was desperately trying to resuscitate itself with her chest moving slowly up and deflated back down, but her backup plan was coming into play. She hadn't eaten, and her body would give up the fight soon for she had no nutrients left and there was no strength left, but still, her body trudged through it. Her cogs in her mind started to turn again, and her eyes were trying to flutter open, but there was a struggle, she could barely make out the figures that had dragged her out. There was a small one, but then there was a large one, her mind instantly screamed at her to get up and run, but she still was recovering as her struggling eyes closed again to rest.

The man would occasionally hum at Marten's words to show he was listening. Falling? Not swimming? Greyback looked at Vespera, taking note of the sizeable gash that filtered over her eye. Surely that wound would of hurt, but not warrant her enough to stop her instincts. Unless... Greyback continued to look at her, taking note of her small frame. Where meat and muscle once lied was now barren, shallow. She looked like a skeleton.

"Thank you, Marten," he murmured, thankful that the male was able to give him some sort of information. Vespera would be dead by now if it weren't for the cream colored lad. In fact, The Patriarch started to worry the longer he went on pushing. Why wasn't her body responding? Thankfully, in a final burst of movement, Vespera had lurched forward to throw up all the water in her system.


Sitting down beside her, Greyback attempted to warm her up with his body, his head resting over her side and looking at Marten once again. "Marten, can you go find some food from a cache? I want it fresh as possible and small— not anything too big."

the yearling let out a long breathe of relief as water expelled from her mouth. his tail swung a few times to show this, but it quickly slowed as he was not actually happy. marten nodded when greyback asked him to get something, making note of the larger wolf as he moved to rest his head upon the younger female. the redleaf quickly parted from the scene, off to the nearest cache -- not too far away, thankfully -- to find something for them.

he'll return in my next post ~

The female's body was slowly rising and falling, had her plan failed? Was her gateway to happiness and relief closing? She was so tired, not physically, but mentally, she just wanted to rest, was that too much to ask for? Vespera's mind was dark, she couldn't see anything, she couldn't feel anything, the only thing she could hear was her declining heartbeat. Her body couldn't keep up the fight for much longer, she had low blood pressure due to starving herself which resulted in her heart not being able to keep up with the demands that her dying system needed. But, there was still fight in her, even if she didn't want to fight anymore, she relied on her backup plan to finish her off if nature wouldn't she will. She wanted to open her eyes, just to see what had happened, what went wrong, why was she still breathing? Why wasn't she in the afterlife? The young female's scar began to sting as the air pressed against it, but she couldn't move to ease the pain, her nerves were focusing on keeping her alive. Vespera was so close, she wasn't going to give up just yet, but for now, she was stuck, stuck because someone was selfish enough to grab her out of her escape.

But, there was a warm presence that made her body feel much better, it was making her system feel more comfortable, but her mind was screaming, screaming at her to get up and run. But she couldn't, her plan might have worked a little too well, her starvation left her vulnerable to healing, she didn't want to heal, she wanted to be free, free of this pain that she caused herself. She wanted so badly to blame others for her suffering, but how could she? What was she doing wrong? She didn't know, but what she could gather, there was something that needed to be disposed of, her existence caused pain, all she knew was pain and rejection. Valette had her family had to suffer just because she wanted to find comfort, it was her fault that Leta got hurt, it was her fault that Greyback did what he did, it was her fault that she was always treated like dirt. Vespera knew it was her fault for everything, she finally had found a solution, and it got taken away from her, just like everything else, she just wanted an end, but it appears that there is no end. The young female felt like she was in an endless loop, how long will this go on? 

The young female tried to move her head, but every movement was of no avail, there was an only slight shift of her head before she gave up, her eyes were trying to twitch open, would she want to see what was or who was there? The young female wanted to see what was going on, who or what was keeping her hostage of her destiny, her eyelid twitched slightly, there was a small sliver of her purple gaze visible as she tried to make out a figure that was using their body as a way to keep her alive. She could make out a fuzzy image, but she couldn't be sure, was it Valette? Every wolf seemed big to her, but her instincts were telling her that she was an ant compared to this mountain that was trying to keep her warm. She couldn't keep her eye open for long as it closed without resistance, her body was still rising and falling in a shaky rhythm. 

As Greyback laid against the shivering girl he gave a nod to Martin, hoping he would get back soon. As much as the man held distaste towards Vespera he couldn't have her dying. Not now at least—not when she was still on Valette and his territory. (He doubted he would be unable to sleep of such a thing happened.) In fact, the only indication that the girl wasn't already gone was her constant squirming and moving of her head.

Greyback only shushed her with a sharp tone, hoping she would stop.

marten returned soon enough with a rabbit in his jaws. it was the freshest, smallest thing they had -- and he was thankful that the cache wasn't too far from them. he was moving in a run, rushing to make sure that vespera was okay, and placed the hare down gently for greyback. he noted that, now,  vespera was responding... though not well. his bi-colored gaze searched the scene, his nose twitching as he took in every aspect of it. what to do? what to  say? greyback seemed to know -- and though marten knew little, he made sure to take note of what greyback was doing.

Her twitching was short-lived for her body was sharply silenced for the one who was sheltering her ordered her body to be still, and she obeyed. The young female's weak form couldn't be more still, the only movement was her breathing, her slow rising, and falling of her matted chest. Vespera's mind was fighting for control, and slowly her conscience was slowly knocking on her door, her soothing light was morphing into the fauna of the Earth, the scents of Easthollow were arousing in her nose. The slow healing process was in need of assistance, her eyelids were trying to flicker open once again to see what was going on around her, however, her dying body forced them back into their closed form. But soon, the small sound of paw steps came towards the two, and some scent aroused in her nose once again, it was the smell of a hare, at least some of her senses were still intact to recognize what was what. 

Her black nose twitched, her body wanted it, there was an aching pain that was swirling into her stomach, her body wanted it so bad, but there was a lingering sickness within her. Would her body take it as much as it wanted it? Would she throw it back up? It was a worry of her stomach, her mind was hoping it would, she doesn't want help, but she needs it. Her muzzle was trying to inch closer to where the prey was, but to no avail, her mouth slightly opened revealing somewhat healthy fangs that were ready to chomp. However, Vespera's jaws closed again, she was too tired, but she was showing signs of life.

When light boy returned the Patriarch gave him nodding smile. "Thank you, Marten. Well done," He didn't know what he would do without the odd-eye colored boy. The rabbit was a good size and fresh from what he could tell by sniffing at it. He would hate for Vespera to throw up rabbit chunks on him as a parting gift from the world.

Thinking of which, Vespera was still weak. And it dawned on the male that perhaps she wouldn't be able to chew with what little energy she had. Thankfully, she had stopped her instant restlessness after his curt warning, but continued to struggle slightly at the smell of the food.

Sighing, Greyback grimaced at the thought of chewing up food and spitting it directly into her mouth. He had seen Valette regurgitate and chew up food for the pups when they were first getting introduced to meat. It was disgusting, and the man rarely did it. He was sure Vespera wouldn't appreciate such a thing happening for her either.

His only hope was Marten, whom he looked to with a pleading stare.

whatever marten was thinking, it wasn't that either of them were going to need to chew up and spit up the rabbit into vespera's mouth... so when greyback gave him such a desperate look, the yearling was taken by surprise. was there something he was missing? trying to be helpful, desperate himself not to let vespera die, marten returned his look with a solemn one, appearing prepared. how can i help? he asked, ears flicking forwards. 

o boy lmao

so sorry this is late! School started and I haven't been able to figure out how to manage posting schedules for wolf, also sorry for short phone post also oh lawd.

Her exhausted mind was trying to contemplate what was going to happen next, the smell of the prey was slowly driving her crazy. Vespera's stomach was stinging from the water, as well as her lungs, so the thought of nice cold prey was welcomed for her body. Her stomach was losing patience and losing strength with every passing minute that the two males lingered on what to do with the prey and how to get it into her stomach. There was a pause but then some mumbling, she couldn't make it out or didn't try to for she was too tired. For now, her fate lied in the paws of these men, and she wasn't very keen on this idea, she wanted to control her destiny or thought this was her destiny, that's why she made the jump. The female was helpless, she wasn't fond of that either, but it now looked like she had no other choice.