Blacktail Deer Plateau and my tongue stiffens into silence,
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Ooc — ebony
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#1
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when/if u have time :D

there was one other within rusalka that carried young, and as the resident healer, the harlot set off in the evening to locate @Cupid. she hunted through the ridges, paced the flat top of the open plateau, covered in ice-rimed snow, trotted to overlook the river for any sign of movement.
it had been too long since she had met with the wolf that was, to her, both male and female. the woman cupped her ears forward, now more intrigued than anything by the dark-shaded individual, and she hurried her stride to locate him.
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Ooc — mutton
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#2
He had made it back to the plateau somehow. He didn't remember how (that seemed to be a reaccuring theme now). It didn't matter. He didn't want to be here. 

Cupid should've been a frozen corpse by the river. Wolves from far and wide, faces he didn't know and would never know, would stumble across his body. They'd say "I wonder what happened to that poor thing." They would leave with no answer and forget about him the next day. Years would pass and Cupid would be forgotten. it would've been great.

He walked through the plateau alone, straight to a nearby river. He stared down at the mess that was his reflection. Slowly, he reached out and touched the water's surface with his nose. Was drowning a more reliable way to die? He was tempted to find out.
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Ooc — ebony
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#3
erzulie found cupid with his eyes fixed to the cold waters of the river. the harlot hesitated a moment before she pushed herself forward, uttering a chuff to announce her presence. no words came; she merely padded to a halt some feet away and turned her two-toned gaze to the clear surface as well.
there came a spread of silence. she wondered if cupid regretted the decision made that day upon the borders. only time could heal such an anxiety. but there was enough of it still, even now, to mend such a situation, and she with herbs at hand.
he need only say the words to her.
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Ooc — mutton
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#4
He has heard (from someone or somewhere; he didn't remember) that drowning is painful. Water slowly filling your lungs, knowing it'd kill you, was one of the most scariest experiences out there. When Cupid is dying he wanted it to be painless, that way fear could not stop him. Quick and painless. What would do that?

There was no time to think it over, someone had joined him. He lifted his head, immediately recognizing the woman's face. He felt scared suddenly, as if she had heard his thoughts. He didn't want anyone else to know his plans.

I like the water. He didn't know why he said that, but he rolled with it anyways. I just like nature in general.
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"de water be nice," she agreed in a soft voice. "i miss de sea de mos,'" came her comment, "but i have come to love de rivers also." erzulie wanted to ask after him, his well-being, if he had yet quickened. but she was aware of the delicate situation, and did not wish to press cupid in this time.
"what be your favorite season?" the harlot asked instead, turning a smile out across the water. "mine is de summertime."
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Ooc — mutton
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#6
He's only seen the ocean once, or rather he had been in it's proximity. After the fight with that man, Cupid hadn't gone any closer. He did not know how nice the ocean was, nor did he wish to know. Still, he could appreciate Erzulie's love for it.

Without hesitation, he says Spring. There were good feelings, memories, associated with the season. His mother—who was almost always glum— would always light up a bit when she saw the first few flowers. When she was happy, he was happy. Little things like that make him sad now.

Oh mother. His poor, stupid mother. What would she think if she saw him now? She'd probably laugh and say "I knew you'd fuck up sooner or later" The thought made him frown.
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spring. erzulie had all but forgotten the delicate warmth of the air scented with new blossoms. what would spring be here, upon the plateau, she wondered.
a dismal pang of envy for the sisters who had departed to live upon the brine. 
erzulie noted cupid's frown, chose her next words carefully. "i did not at first want children. i did not t'ink i would be suited for de role. but each moment wid dem has been unique, somet'ing i never would have experienced ot'erwise."
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#8
Suddenly yet subtly, he is faced with all the fear he has harbored thus far. He wanted to think he'd end up like the medic; he doubted he'd be any good at parenting now, but it'd all work out in the end. There'd be hardships, but he'd overcome them somehow.

But Cupid didn't want to get his hopes up. He's plagued by past mistakes that aren't his own. He can't help but believe he'd end up like his own mother, slowly killing himself and bringing his children down with him.

I'm afraid, he finally admits. What if all the moments I have with them are horrible because of me? He remembers all the bad times with his mother, when he'd cry as he watched her drift further and further from him. 

I don't want that for them. He stifled a cry. I don't want to be like my mom, but I- I'm already going down that road.
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#9
her eyes filled with a knowing empathy at the sound of cupid's voice. if allowed, the beta sought to reach out and brush the young wolf's shoulder.
"bad ones do not accept or see that they are being dat way," she murmured. "you care about dese little ones. you must believe dat alone makes you different."
roux and octave had loved her, loved her, loved her. but the life she led after their deaths had hardened erzulie almost irreparably. until rosalyn. until their children. she wished the same love would emerge for cupid.
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#10
Of all the things she could have said, he does not expect her to say that. Cupid saw himself as a lost cause that's beyond repair, so everyone must see him as such too. But Erzulie, she's different. Despite how much of a mess he looked, she still believed he had some good left in him.

Was she right? Cupid sighed softly. If I hurt them in any way, take them from me. Give them to someone that'll treat them with love and care. Because it was a possible for him to go off the deep end. If that happened, he didn't want to drag his kids down with him.

If. That's the key term. Erzulie was right. If he didn't care for their wellbeing, he wouldn't have asked this of her. He wouldn't be here in the first place. He'd probably still be out by the river trying to end both his life and theirs. But he's still here and breathing. He didn't know why he was still alive, because he truly wished to die, but he'd keep on breathing. Not for himself, but for his children. He couldn't give up on them just yet.

But let me try to be good to them. I want to be better than my mom.
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#11
cupid asked a great thing of erzulie. they had only met a short while ago, and now he had placed at her feet the culmination to this journey.
she was silent a long moment. her role as beta within rusalka was to protect their wolves, make a safe place here for all. and cupid seemed to doubt his own ability.
a nod, then. the harlot shifted. a wan nausea clenched her gut and then flit away. a pause. "i will do anyt'ing i am able to help you," erzulie murmured. "i believe dat you are able of doing very well in dis, cupid. you must come to know it too."
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