Stone Circle Doubts will try to break you

for @Siarut <3
set directly after this thread

He was still in a fair amount of shock, but as it started to dissipate and the fog began to lift from his brain, guilt and fear set in. He knew he shouldn't have been that far from the den—he knew it. But he had been curious for the first time since mom left, and it had felt good to feel something other than sad. But he had broken the rules—and what if something had happened to dad or Valette? What if they had never come back?

Along with the guilt over it all, his heart fluttered in his chest at the very real possibility that dad was angry with him. Initially, he had seemed relieved that he was okay and that Polaris had comforted him, but once they were alone and heading back to the den, he had suddenly become quite—too quiet. 

The little bear was the picture of remorse, walking directly behind his giant father with ears plastered to his skull and head hung low. Occasionally, he would risk a glance up, but dad was always looking ahead, his face stony and expressionless. But the anger had to be coming soon, and Kallik was a mess of nerves as he waited for it.

The relief that had been a salve to his worry and anxiety was quickly fading. Fear and anger seeping in. All of his children had been hesitant to leave the safety of the den since Nanook had perished. He hadn’t really had to discipline them on staying nearby as you would new biens around this age. He suddenly realized they were three months old. With a frosty expression, Siarut looked down at his son finding his head hung low.

With a small sigh he came to a stop. He was anxious to return to his other children to see them well. But he also realized this to be a learning opportunity, and Siarut had every intention of following through with this opportunity. He was glad he had the foresight to ask @Valette to check on the others while he spoke with Kallik.

Having stopped, Siarut sat slowly. Silence continuing as the northern man’s vibrant green eyes settled on the small form of his young son. ”Kallik.” He stated, ”Do you understand what that woman wanted?” He had to make sure Kallik turkey understood what had happened, hopefully to dissuade him from leaving again. Siarut had no intention sugaring their lives. They would each go through experiences that would shape who they were based on the decisions they made. It was his job to help them understand the consequences, and protect them from the harmful ones as much as possible.

His father's sigh sent worry rushing through him, and he almost ran into into his back leg, not noticing that his dad had stopped at first. He came to an abrupt stop himself and peered up as dad slowly took a seat. Kallik sat then too and proceeded to look at his tiny paws, comparing them to Siarut's huge ones and wishing he could just attach himself to one of them and disappear into himself. 

When dad spoke, he looked up again. The question had him staring at dad blankly for a few moments before looking away. He had barely even seen the woman, so how could he have known why she was there? He knew she was a stranger and by the way they all acted, he now knew she wasn't supposed to be where she was. But he had no idea why she was there. 

Kallik looked up again, his brow furrowed, and finally gave a tiny shake of his head, confirming that no, he didn't know.

He was quick to divert his gaze when Kallik finally did catch his eye, Siarut raised his brow, stoney gaze softening subtly. Of course Sia knew the answer before his son gave it, it helped to emphasized the issue further. ”She wanted to take you away. You would never see us ever again. Not your brothers, or your sister, not me or aunt. She was very very dangerous. Do you understand Kallik?” The words he choose were simple and straight forward, the boy was still young. Still learning. ”I could have lost you today Kallik.” He could feel the panic rise in his chest, as he lifted his head and took a deep breath. He could freak out later.

The words dad offered made a lump form in Kallik's throat. Fear burned in his chest and his eyes watered. Why would she want to take him? Someone would do that? Losing mom was so painful; how could he live with losing everyone? The thought was too overwhelming. Tears sprang from his eyes and he began to shiver. 

And dad—I could have lost you today. He had lost mom too, and if that woman had taken him, Siarut would have lost him too. The tears flowed stronger then, making his vision blurry. He jumped forward and hugged his dad's leg, shaking as his crying grew more intense. 

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. SORRY! why couldn't he just say it? He wanted to more than anything, but no words came. Instead, he just cried harder. He wanted to promise he would never leave again, but of course, there was no way he would be able to express that either, other than actually never leaving the safe area around the den again, which he planned on doing.

Sorry couldn't help but butt in

Valette was on her way to the three other pups when she heard Sia's tones. She stepped closer and then looked at the sight. Even though he didn't shout his words it was clear Kallik was terrified. She frowned, and being the mother that she was could couldn't help but butt in. She rushed forward and stepped over Kallik. "Sia! You are scaring him. Stop it," she urged, her face in a frown.

She looked down at the pup and nosed over him. She licked his tears way. "It wasn't your fault, Kallik," she assured him. She went to lie down by him. "You know... Even adults like us get scared sometimes. And your papa and I were very scared that we would lose you too," she tried to explain. "But you were inside the borders," she spoke and then looked at Sia. "So this shouldn't have happened. Strangers aren't allowed in the borders," she assured the pup with a warm tone. She looked at the youngster and licked over cheek. "We love you very much," she smiled.

A simple understanding drove the boys fear and Siarut felt a twang of guilt for causing the frightened look in his sons eye, but he was resolved. He looked down at the boy, still utterly relieved. ”I —” Before he could continue with the lesson he had planned, he was interrupted.

The Matriarch rushes forward, offering Kallik the comfort and giving Kallik an out for his actions. Despite the fact that Siarut agreed with her words, of course within the border this should never have happened. But then again, a cougar should never have entered their territory and killed his wife either. A righteous, paternal frustration grew in his chest, and he offered a glare to the the woman.

As a her subordinate, Siarut respected Valette. As a brother, Siarut loved Valette. And as a father, Siarut was wholly indebted to Valette. But he wasn’t prepared to handover his children to her. They were still his. And it was his responsibility to teach them.

Her words finished and Siarut clenched his jaw. ”Valette.” Her name was forced from his lips. It was obvious that he was upset.

Turning his attention toward Kallik, ”Of course we love you. But You greatly disappointed me today. You put yourself in danger Kallik, and in doing so you put many others at risk as well.” Sia held a grim look before lowering himself to be eye level with the pup. ”It my job to protect you, but I can only do that when I can see you.” Finally his gaze softened completely, and he smiled softly at the youngster. ”No more wandering off ok?”

This wasn’t how he had planned it. But he hoped the impact would remain the same, and Kallik wouldn’t be wandering off any time soon. His olive gaze flicked in Valettes direction, his gaze hardened for her. They had something else to talk about, with less sensitive ears listening.

Valette's voice had the little bear peering up at her with bleary eyes and wet cheeks. She licked his face and and assured him that it wasn't his fault, and he drew in a shuttering breath. When she settled on the ground next to him, Kallik nuzzled her cheek and lay down between her and his dad's paw. She went on to explain that this shouldn't have happened and that the strange woman was not supposed to be inside the borders. He leaned into her affection, sniffling and offering her a small smile in return. 

The smile quickly fell away though when dad began to speak, telling him that he had disappointed him—that he had put everyone in danger even though Valette had assure him it wasn't his fault. Guilt swelled in his chest and his gaze fell to his paws, ears falling back against his head. He had disappointed dad; the thought settled in his heart and caused a painful sinking feeling in his chest. Every bit of comfort he had felt by Valette's words was now sufficiently wiped away by the fact that he had disappointed Siarut and put other wolves in danger. His puppy blue eyes glistened with tears as he looked back up to his father and nodded his agreement to not wander off again. Kallik would do anything to never again have to hear that he had let his dad down.

Valette had seen the look on the male's face and the way he had greeted her. The matriarch's eyes darkened as well. She had clearly only comforted Kallik for so long until Sia just continued with talking the pup down. She didn't agree with it. This was not the way to do it in her eyes, luckily his tone had softened at the end. Though she still had the feeling that this was not something Kallik was ever going to forget. She leaned down and nosed over the child, worried for his well being. She had been too strict with Arlette and that had backfired on her big time. The female did not want that for Sia and his children.

She would have to talk with him later, and by the look of it, he was thinking the same. Valette decided to put her focus on Kallik at the moment. "Why don't I bring you back to your siblings. I was going there anyhow," she spoke. "Unless, you want to bring him to his siblings," she commented then, looking at Sia. Perhaps it was a little sharp for her normal tone, but she disliked that she was expected to help him with raising his children but at moments her opinion didn't matter. Perhaps it was a weird structure. She was the Matriarch and used to wolves valuing her opinion, but in this moment Sia was also their dad and she did respect that. It was just confusing who was leading this parenting job, especially for Valette.