Ocean's Breath Plateau There is such a thing as too much heart break

tags for reference

The thought of leaving his sons behind him even for just a day made his stomach turn. What if something happened or...or

He shook his head no. He had to trust that @Njord and @Sialuk would care for them. That he was fine and they were fine.

He had promised that he wouldn't abandon Moontode and though each step was physically painful and he wanted to retch in the bushes, he walked upon the forest floor and then the beach. He thought of @Heph and @Chakliux one hunting away from moontide one doing her best to keep the frayed edges together.

Rodyn found himself nesr their den. He would seal it off later. And then further to the beach. He found his beloveds resting place and settled to his haunches with a weeping sound. He would let his tears run for sometime and then he would see if anything needed done. Reinforce the border markers and head back to the spear and his children.

Marina had been away.

She returned to Moontide red-eyed and ragged, scarcely acknowledging anyone, unaware of the tragedy which had struck in her absence. The silver wolf was caught in a tragedy of her own, a nightmare brought to stark reality.

Her children were gone.

First @Brockleigh had gone missing sometime in the night, her trail lost at a riverbed somewhere just beyond Moontide's borders. @Carlisle had been inconsolable. The very next day, his own scent led and ended in that same spot, and Marina had grown frantic. She'd followed the river for days, scarcely sleeping, never stopping to eat.

But they were gone. Lost, alone, without protection, and all she could do was imagine their cries of fear and pain. The wilds were cold and unforgiving. How could she return? How could she give up?

And yet she did, at least for now, forced by the failing of her own body in its grief and neglect.

The woman returned in a gaunt and haunted state. She had gone first to her den. There she'd finally allowed the grief to take her fully, sobbing aloud in the empty space where the fading scents of her children lingered. In her sorrow she failed to note that @Chakliux's scent, too, had grown faint around her den site.

Finally, she looked for Rodyn and Samani. She would tell them, and then she would leave again. There was no rest to be had for a mother's fear. There was no peace to be found unless her children were at her side.

Yet she found Rodyn alone; Samani's scent fading; an emptiness to their den that she had not expected. Marina went to him, questions brewing on the tip of her tongue, but all her words died away as she realized that he was crying, that something terrible must have happened. She only looked at him for a moment with red-rimmed eyes, and sat down. Her own tears welled again, but she blinked them away and reached out with one paw in silence.

It was all she could do.

In his own grief and the flurry of activity both getting ready for their children and the aftermath of tragedy. He had failed their pack. He had not taken care of those under them. He realized now as Marina came that she had been quiet and the children their voices absent. It was heartwrenching.

Hello Marina
We lost her in childbirth, and our daughter. But our sons live. I had to depart to moonspear for them. I am sorry i neglected you, Marina.

He bowed his head. How can i help you this day?

Death in childbirth; loss, all around them. Marina, who had experienced great horrors with the birth of her own beloved children, trembled to imagine the suffering which Samani had surely experienced in her last moments. I’m so sorry, She said softly, ears lowering. Don’t apologize to me, Rodyn. Your family is your priority; I understand. I… should have been more vigilant with my own family.

I came to tell you that I’ll be away, searching for my children, Marina continued somberly. I plan to check in every few days. If you need anything from me - any help with your sons, just say the word. Her own children would still take priority, but she wouldn’t abandon her leader in his time of need. He’d been there for her, after all. Samani, too.

It was the least she could do to repay their kindness.

IT hurt to speak so candidly about losing his wife. It really did. And it hurt to know how true it was and that he had failed her and he had failed Marina. Failings all around lately and it was frustrating, but he took a deep breath and another. Perhaps.

Rodyn shook his head. I will help you search and we will keep an eye out for them. I will be between here and Moonspear.  And we will be bringing the boys back as it gets colder. We will continue to search then. Is there anything you can think of that would help us find where to start?

Heph would help and the white hunters. They would also help. Ariadne was injured, but they could figure it out. He wouldn't let Marina take this on only herself. He had not been vigilant either. And now look. He would need to do better as a leader, as a father.

  He was anxious now to start looking. Perhaps he couldn't find them, but he would make an effort. She deserved it and despite his own grief it did not give him an excuse to forget and forgo those beneath them.

Samani wouldn't.

He offered to help; she'd thought that he would. Rodyn was a good man, as Samani had been a good woman. They'd deserved better than this. Marina offered a grateful smile, but she couldn't keep the grief from her expression. Thanks, Rodyn. I can show you where I lost their scents. And... just keep an eye out for any black wolves, okay? I'll tell you the whole story sometime. Later, When we're both a little more collected. She touched her nose to his shoulder in a friendly gesture of comfort and rose. I can show you now, or I can come find you later?

She left the decision to him; his grief was stronger than hers, she felt. More permanent. Marina's children might still be found, but Samani was gone forever. She couldn't imagine keeping her composure even for a moment in such a situation, and would always wonder how he managed it.

Rodyn saw no reason not to help those that needed it. Especially not those he swore to protect, that he was responsible for. His extended family in packmates.

A sadness stole over Rodyn at her touch. A knowledge that he would never touch Samani again nor she him. That his touch in a way is what killed her.

You can show me now.

He knew he would give into despair were he to not keep busy. He knew it as much as he knew he'd draw hia next breath.