Two Eyes Cenote sixtieth

@Nazli had been here for days, weeks, even, and senmut had not been to see her. 

on one hand, it was true that preparations for the wedding consumed his days by design, driving out all thoughts before they had a chance to be painful.

it was quite another that senmut avoided her chambers, indeed, any of the queen's court at this time, for rashepses was free now to walk where he chose.

but as the sun began to fall, the priest coiffed himself, touched his eyes with ash, and went to find the returned sesh, bringing with him a simple gift of a single stark-white hawk's feather.

She hid the worst of her illness as best she could and with some help, came and went within this new space. Her quarters were small but provided enough for her purposes; a bedfur along one wall, a couple low shelves. There was a natural void that served as a window which was decorated in a spartan manner, and over the course of the weeks Nazli had sought out greens and flowers to line the bottom.

It was evening now. Nazli was tending her little 'garden' upon the window. The air lately had gained a chill earlier and earlier, but she didn't mind it. The window let enough light pool upon the floor.

Someone entered, and Nazli turned to greet them with a shy smile, the kind which barely met her tired eyes. When she saw who it was, the smile grew and she crossed the light to meet him.

Senmut, she gave a little bob of her head Life keeps you busy. If she had noticed his avoidance in recent days, she gave no indication.

her brightening expression warmed his own; senmut stepped to meet her. nazli remained delicate, unable to work for long stretches of time. he had quietly indicated that anything she wished, for any reason, be made available.

"we prepare for the coronation. our messages have gone out."

her room had not been given a true glance, but senmut could see that she had appointed it with the simple and subtle beauty of natural things.

"have i disturbed you?" he asked, hoping not, even as his summergreen eyes turned upon her lilac face.

It felt like she had missed something monumental.

He carried himself differently. There was kohl upon his face, a face which looked almost strained, and as happy as Senmut appeared he also seemed guarded in a way Nazli had not recognized in the past. He wasn't so boyish. If anything, the man was elegant.

You could never disturb me, she answered.

Carefully taking the feather that was brought, Nazli moved to perhaps add it to her garden, or to tuck it among the bedfurs, and could not decide. She gently placed it between the two upon a shelf.

Facing away from him now, with the bare light catching on her ribs, her hips, all manner of sharp; What can I do for you?

this conversation was not new.

this dance of servant and prince was not new.

senmut, unsure. nazli, accomodating.

it was where they had ended. they had progressed no further. he saw the slats of her poor exposed bones standing in stark relief, and all senmut remembered was nazli's unending sorrow which he had not stopped from ending.

in this, and this alone, was his queen mistaken: senmut was not free, for nazli was not.

"i wished only to see you." his breath hitched. "khusobek tells me that you have many physicians tending you. please be assured that their medicines will be supported by constant resupplying, and they need only ask for anything, from desert to flatland, and it will be found."

She tidied some of the things on the shelf while he spoke, her eyes remaining averted in a manner almost pious; the feather sat between some dried flowers and a familiar bone medallion.

On another plinth which she now turned to Nazli sought a bundle, and upon unpacking it there was an easily identified haunch of herbed rabbit, some berries (more like raisins), and some medicine. She tucked the medicine back, but came away with the rabbit.

Taking this, she moved her bedfur to expose the slab of stone beneath and used it as a table. She then beckoned to the meal, offering it wordlessly for sharing.

That is kind of you. I... have been meaning to speak with you actually, a nervous tongue-flick to ask about my duties. Surrounded as she was by aids during the day, this place hardly suffered a lack of sesh; or rather... a change.

nazli was measured and careful, as she had always been..at last as senmut looked around, he could see the pleasing utility of her room, each space marked by useful things.

belatedly did he realize she was laying out a meal for them both, and sat perhaps a bit abruptly in his eagerness to stay longer. 

a change. "tell me, nazli," senmut said in a quiet voice, reaching for a bite of the offered dish to assure her he meant to remain settled.

She portioned something small for herself but it would remain untouched. When Senmut tucked in to the rest, she gave a moment for him to enjoy the meal and think to herself how best to broach the subject.

I don't think I can be a sesh. It wasn't a case of ability and there was an absence of her usual uncertainty about this; Tavina had trained her well, and the women's circle had done the rest. But I do wish to remain useful.

Would the princess - after her coronation, all of that - benefit from an astrologer? Another priestess? here her eyes fluttered with that familiar uncertainty as well as a subtle desire, watching Senmut's dinner.

"there has not yet been a successful priestess able to stand beside akhtar," senmut answered after a moment. "nala was priestess of Hathor and has gone away. melody was meant to be mouthpiece for the gods but defected to the court of princess ashikaga."

he allowed himself a glimpse of her bowed head, knowing as passive as the set of her ears appeared to be, they missed nothing.

"it will be a challenge of its own. i believe you are able to accept it, nazli."

the food was pleasing, but senmut could hardly taste it for the set of his nerves.

I could hardly expect to stand with him, she asserted.
I do intend to learn from him, and from you if permitted. You both have already taught me a lot, a stray flick of those eyes, dark and knowing, briefly As my body has withered I ask for something to keep my mind from... failing in the same way.

The fact the work might be difficult did not dissuade her. Nazli had already done as much as one physically could for this kingdom, now she would give the rest of what she could. What would possibly be harder than all she had been through to this point?

It would be her choice. Some piece of her spirit, rebelling, empowered her with this familiar, ill-gotten lesson. She was not asking permission so much as seeking confirmation this change was possible.

I ask to be priestess. That I would study the stars and the night sky, and in that way not contend with our esteemed priest.

"it shall be done." 

senmut did not like to think of nazli as withered. she was — reduced, to be sure, but not withered. and not without hope of restoration.

"the goddess Nwt calls to you. Her attention is a blessing. tell me when you are ready to begin, nazli. akhtar will be a fine teacher of the night, and i will work with you before our dawns."

this would require more daily rest, and senmut quietly made a mind-note to send additional pelts to her room.

He was accommodating as always.
Thank you.

She ate some more, quiet, and shared her space with him contentedly. Nazli did not wonder why Senmut was so gracious with her; why he might be so willing to afford her such help, and freedoms, of which she did not feel deserving.
Only that they were friends despite the rift of gender, of station, of bloodline. She knew she was fortunate to have such a friend, and would work hard for him.

This place, she broached carefully, not looking up from her meal, the cenote. It is very different from the palace. Did the princess choose it? She was curious. Also, avoiding silences that might last too long.

"she chose it. the gods chose it." it was indeed a very fine place, quite different as nazli had said, and almost as beautiful as akashingo.

but the mesa had long been his home, and senmut longed for it.

and now one of those silences came to pass; he smiled a bit to push away the gathering quiet. "will you dine with me again, tomorrow evening?"

It was lovely. It was not Akashingo—and Nazli thought she would miss the palace given enough time—but for now it was a blessing to be away from it; having spent some days there with only the doctor and her own memories, it felt good to be away.

Nazli gave a little bow and fought the inclination for her smile to grow larger, when Senmut asked his question. Yes, if my new lessons to not interfere. The invitation made her feel like she had swallowed the sun!

"there is time for both," senmut said with a small curve to his lips. "i will send a servant to find you."

a bow and he was gone, sweeping from her modest rooms even as his heart thudded dully within him in the same paroxysm of guilt and want he always felt in her presence.