Moonspear p1 cleaner than your church shoes

After taking some alone time in the mountains' higher reaches, Charon made his way further down the mountain again. He wondered where his children were at, specifically the ones he hadn't seen yet since his return to the mountain. The patriarch was weary of all that happened though also curious to see if he would be a father again this year. Honestly, he hoped not, for it would bring only trouble, but a small part of him did wish for it because he felt the desire for more offspring to strengthen the mountain. He did not see Speedy's potential children as a threat to Hydra's in any way, confident they could provide for more than one litter. But Charon was also not so foolish that he would think Hydra and his own mate would see it this way too.

Charon stopped by a stream near the rendezvous site. As he looked to the side, he had an unpleasant feeling in his gut, a tension there. It was a reminder of something bad that happened here. He stared out across the lands for a good moment until he realised what it was. He remembered the bear standing there with Galaxy, and he remembered taking Jarilo and Vela to safety while others fought it. It had all been for nothing in the end. The Alpha frowned at the thought of his cheerful daughter, and with a start he realised that he did not even remember what she looked like precisely. Bits and pieces, yes, but not the colour of her eyes or the size of her ears. Just a generic picture in his head. With sad eyes he looked at the place that the bears had once been slain, feeling torn.

arcturus knew the importance of this place, having heard from time to time at family gatherings, reminiscings about the harrowing that happened in this glade. arcturus did not often visit; he had no intention of encountering a bear, and he was not a wolf to blindly test his luck without serious risk/reward weighing.

he was only here because of charon; he had wished to give his father some space, having seen how the family had hounded and accosted him. for his own sake as well as his father's, he stayed away for as long as he was able, coming to charon only after he was sure the male had not been disturbed in some time. "Father," he announced, noticing the troubled look on charon's face. he did not press, but his presence suggested he was here for good reason.

It was Arcturus who joined him, which was surprising for Charon. He looked over his shoulder at his son and nodded at him. Arcturus. Charon felt an odd mix of emotions as he thought back to all they had lost here, but also thought back to how things were better back then, when they were still a family, all together. Now they were scattered and honestly Charon wondered if this was anything he could still fix. He wanted to, honestly, but he somehow felt that Hydra was out for war and she would not rest until she got what she wanted.

I'm sorry about the tensions on the mountain. It can't feel very good to be stuck in the middle like that. He frowned as he looked at Arcturus, who'd probably not heard an apology from his father's mouth before in his life. Honestly, Charon wished that he could just make Arcturus not be a part of this so he could live his life, but as they were a pack and a family, this concerned all of them, unfortunately.

an apology was the last thing arcturus expected; as charon’s words trailed to a close, the yearling’s countenance betrayed his light surprise. he did not hold his father accountable for any of this — well, maybe disappearing for all that time — but really, arcturus had the utmost faith charon had done what he felt was right. 

that was not to say that he blindly believed charon, but arcturus did have a good deal of ingrained faith rooted to the patriarch, and hadn’t been able to make heads or tails of all the recent happenings on the mountain. he still needed answers — his own answers, not hydra’s or amekaze’s or speedy’s... maybe with his father alone, he would be less defensive to questioning. shifting uncomfortably, arcturus responded in a graveled tone. it’s me that should be sorry, for my question is sure to insult you. father, did you truly do nothing with speedy? arcturus’ gaze ever so briefly sought the icy depths of his father’s single eye — he hated to ask when it clearly violated the sanctity of their trust... but arcturus had to know, and hydra had cleverly already planted the first of many seeds of doubt in arcturus’ impressionable brain.

Arcturus seemed surprised by the apology, which in turn didn't surprise Charon. He tried to figure out what was going on in the boy's head, for none of his children were too vocal. Arcturus then looked up him and asked him a question he didn't expect. A question that nobody had actually literally asked him -- or perhaps dared ask -- since his return to the mountain. They had told him that if he had, they would... That if anything came from it, that meant... But nobody had asked. Not this directly. Not in a way that Charon felt it impossible to weasel his way out without lying.

Honestly, his first thought was to lie. Lying and exaggerating had come easy to the Ostrega all his life. It was almost like it was the easier, better choice to lie sometimes. He just wasn't sure why. But there was something in Arcturus' imploring questioning that made Charon want to tell his son the truth. He wasn't sure if it would lead to anything, but it was very likely that it would and if Hydra and Amekaze decided to unreasonably punish him for it, then he wanted his son to know the truth.

And so, after making sure there was no one listening in on them, Charon spoke at last to answer his son's question. Something did happen. I did not want to tell you in front of the others because they won't understand. I don't want then to hurt Speedy. Your mother refused to give more children to this mountain, and that is why Hydra and Speedy both came into their season. It wouldn't have happened otherwise. I intended to just protect Speedy, but one night she said that she had always found me attractive and one thing lead to another. I fear for what will happen if she is pregnant, what the others will do, even though Speedy is one of us and the mountain's Alphas should have a litter this year. The problem was, they wouldn't see it that way. Ame was too stubborn to realise the pups would be hers, or maybe simply too old and unwilling to raise more, hers or otherwise. Charon let out a hefty sigh as he said this out loud for the first time, and slowly the predicament started to dawn on him.

there is an old saying, and it goes something along the lines of, 'well, do you want the truth? or do you want what you want to hear?'; arcturus expected the truth, but he did not realize it would not be what he wanted to hear. his jaw fell nearly plumb away as his father admitted the truth -- the truth that no one but he and speedy now knew.

the boy was speechless, a thing customary for him but even then, out of place before his father. after a few seconds of long silence, hastened by charon's slow sigh, arcturus was forced to react. like a stone upended from a place where it had rested for millennia, arcturus slowly processed what had been given to him.

his dad had, indeed, done something with speedy.

arcturus gulped loudly, inhaling -- if he were a person he might have placed his head in his palms, or sucked in a large breath of foreboding. as a wolf, his only recourse to collect what had happened was to sit down abruptly on his haunches, as if knocked aside by the news.

"that is very bad." arcturus finally answered, realizing now he was implicated in his father's web of misdoings. he did not wish to be there, but would die before he revealed his father's indiscretion. "what will you tell them when it becomes evident?"

Honestly, Charon had no answer to Arcturus' question. He did not know what he was going to do yet. He didn't quite realise the implications of everything until he said it just mere moments ago. Now he was here alone with his son and he'd told him, for some reason. He could hope nothing would come if it, but odds were slim that it wouldn't...

I don't know, the father admitted with a frown. I worry for Speedy, and for our children. They should've been your mother's, and all would have been fine. She should raise them, just as I was born to subordinates and raised by Alphas, but she will be too stubborn to see the potential in that. Was it worth living upon this mountain with a mate who refused to give him more children, who refused to let him father children with others, with a daughter who thought her right was bigger than his to have children? What Charon wanted was his family back, his mountain back, was for Amekaze to just go back to being with she was before... But that would never happen. Still... It was his mountain, his and Amekaze's, before it was his daughter's.

a part of arcturus was immensely pleased to be charon’s confidant, but the rational side of him bagged that he now sat on an explosive payload of evidence that, if extracted, would likely blow the mountain’s tensions to record highs. he frowned, glancing over his father with possibly the first disapproving look he had ever given him; was it so hard to keep things in your pants?

but he didn’t know it was hard. he didn’t know what lust did to you — he only saw what it did to others. his frown deepened for a moment as he considered how this would implicate their future. mom and hydra will kill them. arcturus mentioned, his tone flat and nonplussed despite the rather serious situation. it should have been that the most serious part of this was that charon had cheated on his mother and defiled their union — instead, they were focused on the lives of his bastard children. arcturus did not hear regret in his father’s voice for his actions, which made him troubled; how did someone who loved their mate get in this situation?

he drew a very long sigh. if you deny they are yours, they will be killed and speedy driven from the mountain. if you admit they are yours, mother and hydra will turn against you, and speedy will likely be hurt for what she has done. arcturus was solemn as he reflected on this — speedy was just as culpable as charon, and he felt his respect for the woman fading. but they are unlikely to kill your blood, which is the mountain’s blood and our future. he hated this, thinking like this — it felt like plotting against his family. tell them. he urged, feeling wretched as he did so.

Charon listened as Arcturus said that Hydra and Amekaze would kill them. Charon realised this very much, and was still working on a way to figure out how to prevent this. Arcturus then mentioned that they would be killed for sure if Charon denied that they were his. But if he did tell them, then surely they would let them live -- for they were Charon's blood. Charon was not so sure of his own place on this mountain if he did tell them, but he also realised that it would be better to tell them before anything started to show, if it did. He could only hope they would show mercy for Speedy, the pups and himself, although Charon did not intend to let them take anything from him.

He nodded. It might be for the best. Charon took a deep breath and glanced around. I'm sorry, for whatever it's worth, for this mess. Maybe some day the stars would reveal it was all for the better of their legacy here, but for now, Charon could not see through those thick clouds.

arcturus sighed, pulling his gaze from the patriarch to the thin column of clouds above. as a pragmatist, arcturus realized there was no use in wishing things were different. they were what the were, and if he wanted things to be different, he needed to make it so.

slow growing as he was in his maturity, he at least recognized that apologies meant very little; charon would have to show he was remorseful. "don't apologize to me." arcturus supplied, his gaze shifting to charon meaningfully. it was amekaze that charon needed to apologize to, to possibly repair the rift that seemed to grow ever wider.

A growl rumbled in Charon's throat as Arcturus told him not to apologise to him. Tail curled over Charon's back in dominance as he stared his son down. This is what you got when you were vulnerable to anyone -- they just spat in your face and treated you like dirt. Even when you were their own father, apparently. The warning growl was supplied with words: Do not tell me what to do, I am still your father and Alpha. (As Tywin would say, 'any man who must say 'i am the king', etc...) He was beginning to regret confiding in Arcturus. Honestly, Charon's entire world was spinning right now.

But for now his lowered walls were brought up again and it was very clear in every way -- both in the colder way he spoke as his façade hardening -- that the time for being honest and vulnerable (as was likely the first time Arcturus had ever even seen Charon that way anyway, so this was more Charon's 'normal' state of being again) was gone again.

arcturus immediately realized his mistake. his ears folded back to his dark crown, and he quickly turned his gaze away. yes father, the boy mumbled dutifully, his tail curled and posture bent in submission.

he had overstepped his bounds and his father was swift to close shop; the walls that had only just been breached were handily refortified. charon was vulnerable no longer. arcturus took pains to avoid looking upon charon again, lest he incite him further.

Arcturus immediately responded to the tightened reins. Charon nodded curtly at Arcturus in silent approval, though his face remained cold. Good. We'll get through this. He nodded again as he looked around the site of sadness. I'm getting something to eat. Charon lingered as he made to leave, a silent invitation, leaving space for Arcturus to come if he so wished.

arcturus regretted speaking even still, despite the nod his father issued in seeming approval. he noted charon's single eye was still cold, and a frostiness lingered in his expression. he dared not inspect his father too closely and quickly cast his gaze away.

his response to charon's unspoken invitation was a bit belated; with a start he realized the lingering pause was meant to suggest he should tag along. with a jolt, the boy trotted after the smooth pace of his father, a sharp rein on his tongue. he had learned his lesson, and fell in step behind his father with the usual silence while they hunted.

Charon nodded when Arcturus joined wordlessly by his side and started heading down on the path towards Moonspear's lower forest. Surely they could find something to eat there such as a rabbit or other, and if not then they could always dig up a cache. As they walked, Charon said, seemingly oddly misplaced: I'm proud of you, son. Arcturus seemed in a world of doubt and hurt over this all but he still stood by his father's side, never in doubt that he did the right thing. For that Charon was proud of him, to see past the pain and do what was best for their family. It seemed a small gesture to him, and Charon might not realise just how much it might mean to Arcturus.

<3 it was awesome being part of charon’s incredible life!! I will miss him terribly <3

they made the darkened pines their target, father and son strolling leisurely through the fern-studded shape. arcturus fell easily in step behind moonspear’s patriarch, as he had so many times before. he took charon’s leading presence for granted, thinking this would be one of thousand more expeditions in his lifetime. 

arcturus’ features were that of a concentrating predator when charon paused and spoke of his pride; at that arcturus’ dark face bloomed in a scarcely concealed smile, while his heart grew fit to burst. he commanded his emotions almost immediately, reining in his overt display of validation — yet as they hunted  shrewd eye would catch that ever so subtle cant at the tip of his tail, or the restored light in his sunny gaze.