Moonsong Glacier kasuutiruk ‡

he was not ready. not for the sob which choked the duck, not for the news which spilled from her lips in an unwelcome current.

his brother. arcturus' lips twisted in a grim line; hardness in his heart was an understatement. even if he was ill, even if he was on his deathbed -- arcturus had no brother.

no family on moonspear, either.

but he did not speak of this. he knew it would wound kukutux to new grief that she did not deserve.

that her own heart was heavy by his absence caused great discomfiture in the man, who had largely acted of his own foolish pride and selfish notions until the moment he had met wraen. and then, foolish as these actions may have been, he had acted most in duty with love. love, he would not regret.

"it has all changed." arcturus' voice was gravelly, bucked deeply by the distress shown in his companion. "and it will continue to change. that is life. you can't fix --" he took in a breath -- me -- "it." not even her best wares could raise the dead, change revui, or revert arcturus' past. what was done was done. there was only one path forward. out.

"would it be better for your heart if i was back at moonspear?" arcturus inquired softly, feeling guilt and anger welt him. many nights, the mountaineer had pondered his choice. he had spurned and hurt kukutux before he had ever learned to love her -- and for that, he carried many regrets.

but he did not regret leaving moonspear. "it would be harder if i was there. you --" me -- his gaze flickered with shame. he did not trust his own control over his impulses. how many times had he thought of just reaching out to her -- when she had first bathed his wounds, he'd bitterly cursed that she was jarilo's and not his... but his brother (the one arcturus had not disowned) did not deserve such discord. "it would be a matter of time." arcturus admitted darkly, liking neither the jealousy that made home in his heart, nor the strange guilt that wormed its way into his mind at the thought of abandoning wraen.