Broken Antler Fen pleisosaur

@Ibis @Jasmine @Roswell <3 aw, set anytime

teya dragged a very large fish behind herself.
she had become skilled enough, but had landed this in complete luck, and it was far too much for one wolf.
and yet she drew it across the fen all the same, only to spit in dismay at the revelation of her ruined catch.
not so destroyed. teya was compelled to tear away the large head to its tissued gills, still pristine and cool. she brought it to where ibis was ensconced with her children; she meant only to put it in the nearest cache but found herself crooning for the auspex herself, a sound crowned in shyness.

The number of people within Brecheliant who knew where Ibis kept refuge were few, so when the call came at the den's mouth she was a little bit surprised by it; more-so due to the haze of sleep deprivation which had been clouding her mind of late.

The children were in various stages of waking — @Diantha slept the most soundly which should have been calming to her, but the girl was always so quiet and nowhere near as obtrusive as her siblings. Roswell had discovered the existence of his own tail and had been preoccupied all morning with it, while Jasmine — always wanting the attention focused on herself — whined whenever Ibis tried to slink away for a breather.

So when the call came, Jasmine seemed keen on barring the door or following Ibis as she extricated herself from the mess of little bodies. Shhh, go find your brother. Go play, please... Ibis murmured, half-crouched in a looming stance over the girl before she plucked her up and gingerly placed her down on the other side, further inside the den.

Ibis barely managed to get to the den mouth before a small wailing sound caught in her ears; she would have to make this quick. Teya was waiting for her with a large fish and Ibis was thrilled to see them both - her stomach rumbling eagerly.

teya did not want to tell ibis that she had watched and followed in an attempt to make herself more known and useful. and she had grappled inside her soul, wondering if this action was out of some misplaced sense of oweing.
but as ibis stood before her, as beautiful as ever, despite the stresses of her growing children, teya found herself tongue-tied. wraen's voice, echoing in her mind.
akavir had come back.
"this for you," she murmured, nudging the large fish head and its attached gills in ibis' direction.
something catching upon her face, dismal, desperate.
"i want, uh — to be there. here. anywhere. for you." how would bridget take this? teya had no intention of entering into some dismal wedlock with any creature, but she could not ignore the love for ibis that now surged and clawed just below her ribcage.

Had this come at any other time, perhaps Ibis would have been open to it. In her current state she could not parse the meaning behind Teya's words and was too focused on the fish.

Ibis had one ear turned to the depths of the den as she slipped towards the offering. It was a substantial catch; how fortunate that Teya would think of her! She smiled, the dark circles under her eyes overshadowing much of the kindness upon her face.

You sweet, sweet girl, Ibis praised, sleepily.

Come, share it with me. I rarely get company beyond Eljay's visits. Having missed the deeper meaning of the girl's words.

teya hung, sensitive and unguarded.
ibis deflated her swiftly.
girl? company?
but her legs followed numbly, equally numb jaws plucking at the nearest fish eye.
had she not been clear? perhaps not; perhaps she was the problem, her stumbling tongue. it seemed to twist over on itself as she glanced from the beautiful, exhausted features to the little details around them.
the scent of puppies and milk and fish crowded her. she focused upon ibis. "soon you not be alone. maia, mother too." what else was there to say?
she had pictured another image.
hurt swelled beneath her collarbone.

Oh? Ibis had known that Maia and Eljay wished for children, they had asked as much from her, yet it came as a small surprise that they were now expecting. It had been quick work, she thought with a tired curl of her mouth.

As she picked at the fish Ibis was silent. The fatty cheeks were a bit too strong tasting for her, so after nibbling at one she had to slow down and ease the ill sensation the meat aroused in her.

I am glad. That means my children will have friends. She murmurs, licking salt off her lips. She can hear at least one body moving in the dark of the den and cannot help but worry idly.

Ibis wishes she had more among Brecheliant for herself. It was her own doing - this isolation - as she chose to hide her children, chose to be absent from the fen when the mountain fell, and even now chose solitude rather than her own husband.

But Teya was here. Looking... sad, somehow.

Teya, are you... alright? Is something the matter?

teya did not add that she only assumed, and made large claims. she had seen them tucked away and knew of maia's desire for children; it naturally followed for the girl that maia too should grow hungry and round and produce a loud litter that sequestered her as well.
the violet was being unfair, and guilt swiftly followed.
ibis, focused upon her now; teya, glancing into the sea-glass eyes, feeling the flutter of her own heartbeat filling her ears. she could not lie, for she knew her face had given it away.
"was thinking of tambourine," the girl chose to say, not a true lie, for she still felt the crush of that, haunting her dreams. the lie was that she actively thought about the day of the funeral. the lie was that she did not actively try to repress the memory of the dead man.
"hard to see him die."

The answer made sense and so Ibis would not press for more. Teya was young in the auspex' mind, and perhaps not so accustomed to loss.

I am sad for his passing too. More so... because I did not know him well. It was something she had accepted. Ibis did not know many outside of the Ravens who now ran Brecheliant.

Perhaps he was a friend to Teya. Were you close? she went on to ask, hoping that she could help ease the girl's sorrow and help her in mourning by lending an ear.

It was a nice reprieve from the neediness of her newborns, for what that was worth.

she shook her head. "no. only fishing once, but — i had liked tambourine company." a mouthful of syllables. she rested in the next moment. 
perhaps akavir had already come here.
teya knew enough to understand that the pups borne by ibis did not belong to the darkfurred man, and would not. but she auspex was beautiful, gloriously so. maybe they had loved one another, once.
she hated to think of ibis loving another.
this jealousy! she loathed it also, for it made her stiff with detachment. a silence, stretching, until it felt too long and she said, "i not see someone die before. i see him dead. sometimes."

Ibis was too presumptive. One need not know a person well to feel the impact of their absence; she knew this too.

She remembered suddenly the sight of the dead woman drowned and abandoned in the marsh - her jaw clenched, her eyes dropped a moment as she tried to force the memory away.

In time you will forget. The mother says softly, wishing it were true.

Ah, maybe happier thoughts would help them both. Ibis pondered a moment. It felt strange to offer this to Teya when not even Akavir had the opportunity, but she swayed, motioning for Teya's eyes towards the den.

Would you... like to meet my little ones? Maybe they will be a better memory for you. It would be good for the girl and for the children, thought Ibis, to have some exposure beyond their mother.

no, she did not want to meet them.
not with ibis' swift, quick, sweet rejection? was it that? ringing in her head. she did not resent their existence; she saw whatever little bodies come from the auspex' own as an extension of the woman she loved, beholden to no man.
brecheliant's children.
but this did not mean that their mother was free in the same way.
"yes," she said thickly, swallowing and putting a tolerable smile to her mouth. "i need better memories."
ibis, in the moonlight; the scent and taste and feel of her.
ibis, in the snow, the graceful tilt and litheness of her limbs.
"thank you," she said softly in the next moment, caught with a genuine touch to her soul that despite her own confusion, the woman seemed solid in her trust of teya.

The first to meet them at the door was @Jasmine of course, having been crowing and pawing for freedom since Ibis had placed herself as the bulwark; then a little ways deeper, @Roswell, having given up on catching his tail. Ibis scoured the dark for little @Diantha who slept soundly, but she did not pull her close to show to Teya, nervous about disrupting her.

She told their names as Teya's attention caught on each, tired sounding but proud. Her voice faltered after a moment, thinking of their father.

They have not met Akavir. Ibis admits. But they do not need a father to grow up strong. The truth of that hits her harder than she expects, and she draws back so that she can catch her breath.

Teya is not their mother but the two larger children crowd around her eagerly.

Tags for ref, feel free to cameo if ya want kids

the first to greet teya was a little coppery girl with pretty eyes, baby jasmine. next a multicolored boy, a palette of hues that caught and softened her eye. roswell. and a third, diantha, who would remain for now a mystery to the raven.
she sat down among them, clucking lightly as she was assailed, letting them explore and nudge the taste of fish and of fen and all places outside their den yet unexplored. something catching in her heart as much as her breath. "beautiful," she found the words to say.
akavir.
for a moment she stilled, still focusing her eyes upon the children. "true. they have brecheliant." she was not sure why ibis mentioned akavir, if not to communicate his absence from her densite.

I'm sorry, Ibis sighed from the doorway, the green edge of light halo-ing around her shoulders, casting her face in shadow. He is never far from my mind. I cannot think, I am so tired...

She had invited Teya to meet those most precious to her, knowing they were safe. She wanted to ease the girls mind and only found herself babbling, speaking things that would be better laid to rest.

Am I wrong to deny him? Ibis mused aloud, lightly shaking her head. They are my children - ours, Brecheliant's. I care for him.

She watched the back of Teya's head as the girl bobbed to greet the children, half corralling them, and a familiar warmth filled her chest. The liminal light within the den reminds Ibis of moonlight.

At this she tenses, happy enough that the shadow hides the expression on her face. These were thoughts best kept inside her head. And our daughters, what will they think? What if they return home to me, to us, splintered like this?

Would they be a threat to her darling boy, too? Would they need to be kept away from their own siblings?

teya was young, but not so young that she did not realize, finally, how self-absorbed she had allowed herself to become. "ibis, why you not ask help?" no one else was a mother yet, and she could not think to understand more than what ibis could tell her.
a moment spared to smile toward the children again, meaning to reassure, before she swept her furrowed brow back to the woman. "they big." she had expected — teya was not sure what she had been expecting, having never been exposed to the true nature of growing children.
"you do all this alone? for long time? why?" a pause. "akavir not here when they born. he not here to understand." the little raven straightened slowly, turning toward the woman. "lilitu love you very much, ibis. do not have doubt." to arielle she could not speak, her own fault, but if ibis had raised them, she did not know why the sister would be so different.
"we here." to hear that ibis still held the dark man in esteem stung teya, flaring the ache of pain. the compulsion to believe that the auspex would always care for this man, and therefore men, and that teya could not be enough. "these your children. akavir not father unless you want it." he had not even put them inside her, he had no entitlement to them. teya studied the pretty, drawn face. "maybe you not able to make so many choices right now. no sleep."

Teya had valid questions. Valid points to be made. Things that Ibis had been thinking about for ages now but keeping private; being overtired had opened things up. Opened her up to discussion - perhaps with the wrong person, as it stands.

He is not the father to any of them. Ibis had tried to tell him the same before, but could not know for sure if she had been clear, she had been manic and full of shame at the time.

He left me, Teya. It was to find and rescue our daughter - my daughter - and I could not wait for him. I do not deserve someone like him. Her shoulders quake slightly in the light.

She was thankful these children were so young that the words meant nothing to them.

I know I should ask for help. I have help... at least for now, but soon Eljay would be busy, and she did not hold enough trust in the strangers within Brecheliant to ask for more. And I have you.

Moonlight; an ache in her secret heart.

Soon they will be big enough not to need me. Then, I don't know what I'll do.

"then you have more baby. or you do not. you live more life." wraen had no children and was older than each of them. yet there was a satisfaction in the apple-hue eyes that had always dazzled teya with the want to one day have such peace. she could not know the things the older woman suffered, but wraen had not ever spoken of children and of men in such an exhausting way.
frustrated, now, and she did not mean to be. calming herself. swallowing. her dedication was to ibis and to brecheliant, and to these children. ibis had said herself that they did not need akavir. why did she wind her life around him so? "he did thing a father does. he look for child who is lost."
quick shrugging; "maybe he not deserve you. maybe it not about deserve." as for the waiting, "should you wait for all time? why? you like to be mother. now you have children that have love."
she really should go, before —
"he knows you have baby now. did he say words about it?"

Live more life?

Ibis could not comprehend a life beyond motherhood; she had always wanted to be a mother and moreover, wanted a family that would outlast her hurts. She was a mother selfishly. Her want, to be needed so deeply, to be a requirement for life, was central to all of that.

What more could there be? Her children needed her; at such time they didn't any longer she would have more, and more, and more. And some, the best ones, would stay with her.

Akavir did what he could. For whatever reason it was not enough for Ibis; but she was filled with fear too, that those she loved would inevitably leave her.

He hasn't said anything, Ibis answers sullenly. The man who was her husband - she hadn't let him in, had not let him close. If he had anything to say, Ibis was not open to it. I haven't given him a fair chance.

No, she has only been afraid. Fear and desire were her fuel and she was burning through it, to nothing.

you not give me fair chance either, teya sulked to herself, unable to keep the pall of her heart from creeping into her expression. "then give him chance. tell him you will allow him to be father to these ones." 
her heart, flickering toward ire again; why should akavir occupy such a high portion of ibis' mind when it had not been him who had helped the auspex all wintertime into spring. where was he now? had he hunted for her? had he kept his distance from ibis with his hurt foolish male feelings, the same kind that ibis now entertained?
perhaps it was good that they had spoken.
teya watched her recalled halo of moonlight shrink each time ibis mentioned akavir.

Yes, of course Teya was right. Ibis held all the power now. She had done wrong by ignoring the oath of marriage, but, Akavir had returned. He had stayed, so far as she knew, and waited for Ibis now. It was up to her to mend things. It was her decision that would bring a father to these children.

Therein lay her fear. What if he merely bid his time? To be let near these children that were not his, so he may take them away? Ibis knew better than to doubt her husband; even hurt, he was not so cold hearted.

I will sleep on it. I must rest... but maybe you are right. Ibis says.

Thank you for being here for me, Teya. a mindless, but heartfelt, little plea. I am so lucky. This would be much harder without you.

The exhaustion in Ibis' voice is met with a soft, almost sombre, praise.

teya could not keep her anger forever, and especially not as ibis and her soft voice carried so much care for the sour little violet. she relented at once, stepping gently beyond the puppies to nudge the auspex' satined cheek, still exquisite beneath the shadows that besieged her gaze.
she wanted to linger, but did not for longer than a second, ghosting back to offer a stronger sort of grin. "i watch baby now. we play here. sleep. please."
they would remain within earshot and sight of their mother, but teya meant to begin her promise now, if ibis allowed it.