Fairspell Meadow swarm the belly, swelling to a blaze

AW. Set for Wednesday afternoon. Will archive in a week if no response.

Yesterday, Maegi took Anansi's tail. It took all the strength she had and nearly broke her in two, at least spiritually, but the pale thing eventually gave way to her careful yet insistent teeth. She carried it to her pile of bones, out here in the meadow, and sat over it for a while, before returning to Sobek's body to keep vigil there.

Four sons. Nirgali, Ninazu, Anansi, and Sobek. All dead, all gone.

Today, Maegi took her kind-hearted, dark-pelted boy, gently grasping him by the scruff and pulling him to the shrine. She rested him beside Anansi's tail, sobbing for breath, unable to keep her composure any longer. She crumbled again, sinking to her belly, cheek pressed against the cold, hard ground and its dying grass to muffle her whimpers.

Sakhmet remained, but Maegi found herself wondering when she would be next. She prayed feverishly here, begging for Jaes to spare her daughter. Leave me one child, my lord, my god, she whispered, eyes wide and staring. Please let her stay with me. But, then, she'd asked the same for Sobek. . .and her prayers had gone unanswered.

The daedra. This was their work. Angry at the wolves for leaving the forest. Angry at her for turning her back.

Those fucking demons.

She fell asleep in the midst of chanting, cuddled close to the tail of one son and the frozen corpse of another.

i made the assumption that word of sobek's death would've spread. let me know if you'd like me to fix it & i will. ^-^

news of sobek's death — scarab had yet to meet ...well anyone but maegi ( his own fault being a little recluse ) but recognized the name as one of maegi's children that she'd mentioned upon taking him in — has eventually whispered its way to scarab. he feels a stirring of sorrow but truthfully it recognizes that it is only for maegi's sake. there lacked a certain ability to mourn someone he had never actually met in scarab's makeup ...though he wonders if this rather blatant acceptance of death was a side effect of what he'd done to survive or because he was slowly growing a tendency of being apathetic is unclear. he feels sorry for her loss and seeks to ease her pain as much as he can. it might be an impossible task but it is what he sets his mind to after tucking his petrified sandpiper in it's hidey-hole and sets off to find her.

it doesn't take him terribly long to find her following her scent mixed with a scent he assumes is sobek's fresh with the unique scent of death. scarab does not attempt to mask his footfalls, though his approach to maegi's slumbering form curled close to the frozen corpse of sobek is slow. for a moment, scarab's steps falter as he looks past maegi to the corpse of her frozen son. it doesn't disturb scarab as he thinks perhaps it should. the worst thing was thinking that letting the corpse there to presumably rot was a waste of perfectly good meat.

no!

he wouldn't — he couldn't do that to maegi. strangers was one thing but her son? ...he owed his life to maegi.

scarab swallows thickly, ears fluttering back to rest at half mast atop his skull as he refocuses his lapis lazuli gaze upon maegi and lets out a chuff in an effort to rouse her from slumber. maegi...? he asks quietly, figuring that if he cannot draw her awake then he will turn around and leave her ( and sobek's corpse ) be.

The voice brought her from a slumber marred by nightmares, thank Jaes. Her eyelids popped open to reveal Scarab standing nearby, his blue eyes cutting through the fog of sleep. Poppies. . .she'd taken poppy seeds. Everything seemed slower, heavier. Her limbs felt jellied. Yet now she was not alone, and had to keep up appearances.

Appearances. What even was her appearance, now? Fearless leader? Grieving mother? Muttering witch?

Scarab, she murmured, turning her double-hued gaze fully on the boy. She made no effort to rise, although she did uncurl herself slightly, lifting herself on one bony elbow. She blinked for a moment, hastily gathering her scattered thoughts. Plucking some semblance of civility from the chaos.

Do you think your family could be alive somewhere? Maegi asked abruptly, the ice of her son's body not yet settled in her heart. Do you think you may be reunited with them here in this world, rather than after death?

maegi stirs and scarab falls from her lips. he ghosts nearer a few steps, keeping his gaze locked upon her, though he still designs to leave plenty distance between them for she has not invited him closer. scarab's ears cup forth and then swivel to the side as he contemplates her question. it's abrupt, admittedly, but given her position curled near her frozen son's body does not bring with it complete surprise. it is not a far jump for scarab to assume that this might've been on her mind. i... — scarab begins and then pauses, considering it carefully.

in truth, he hasn't given it much thought on purpose. it was hard to see the destruction upon the coast and think that anyone could've survived that. he had but barely. miraculously. the last thing scarab wanted to give himself was false hope. it was easier to assume they were dead then allow himself the hope that they'd all managed to make it out alive before the worst had came to pass and be met with the devastating news that they hadn't. i don't know. he admits softly.

it's hard to imagine anyone could survive the destruction on the coast.

He was being careful, she knew. She knew the danger of getting your hopes up. Hopes too often sank like lead balloons; it was better to remain grounded, pragmatic, realistic. But Scarab didn't know what she knew, and while she'd initially been inclined to keep it to herself. . .with Sobek's loss, she couldn't. She knew all too well what it was to lose a child (two! no. . .four!) and to put another mother through that—

I met a man nearby here, Maegi said, dipping her head in the direction of the mesa. He was out looking for large game to hunt. He told me he was part of Rusalka, and that they had relocated to a plateau a little ways from here.

She swallowed, composing herself and giving Scarab a level stare. It's not guaranteed, but it's possible your family may have survived, and are living there with the rest of the pack, she continued. Paused. Gritted her teeth, suddenly unwilling to let Scarab go—but she must, she must!

I can take you there, if you want, murmured Maegi in a subtle query, her eyes drifting from him, out toward the horizon. And waited for his answer, forepaws stretched out, crossed at the ankles.

scarab is silent as maegi speaks of a man she met from rusalka, at war with himself. according to this man, rusalka had made it out of the coast and had relocated but ...he'd been looking for large game. not the missing golden prince. surely, if the sun of his life was still alive she'd be looking for him ...right? unless, he considers, she thinks he's dead too. the internal war rages on. that small flare of hope that he hasn't dared allowed himself wrestling with the larger shadow of rationality. he swallows thickly, his ears fluttering back to rest at half mast atop his skull.

what if they're not? what if we go there and they're dead?

but what if they were alive? what about maegi? she's just lost her other son and there was still the matter of the life debt scarab owes her. favors aren't something that scarab takes lightly; and there is a small but growing feeling of reluctance to part from her. scarab doesn't like being in such a conflicting state where his silence feels like it's stretching on forever and indecision weighs his heart like a stone. if ...if we go there and they are still alive — scarab pauses, blinking a few times, still not daring to allow himself hope. can i still stay with you and blackfeather? he asks softly. a strange request, likely, but blackfeather and maegi have taken him in when he was on the cusp of life and death and the only way he knows how to repay that kindness is by giving them his unyielding loyalty.

words: 271

Maegi waited patiently as Scarab internally worked through the situation, face soft, knowing the myriad emotions with which he must be grappling. When he opened his mouth to speak, she prepared herself to lose another of her flock—and instead was left bowled over, staring at him in bafflement.

You'd. . .you'd want to stay here? she asked, trying to keep her lower jaw from falling off entirely in her shock. Even if they're alive?

Above the surprise, she was touched beyond measure. She had considered Undersea once her home—still did, in a way—and yet, despite her love for the island, had eventually come back to Blackfeather, where her heart was. Perhaps it was the unfamiliar locale, Rusalka's new location, that was throwing Scarab, but. . .

Still. His family could be there, alive and yearning for him. And he wanted to stay here?

She thought her heart could burst without a moment's notice.

maegi, to scarab, seems baffled by his question — which, he supposes is understandable. how often does one expect a kid to ask if he could stay even if ( and that's a pretty big if to him at the moment ) his family was alive? probably not many. as hedonistic as scarab is it is strange for him to have a selfless desire to stay. after all, she's allowing him the chance to walk away ...but scarab doesn't want to go. in part because he owes her far too much to leave her and blackfeather as a distant memory as he happily frolics away with his family — if they were alive — and it hardly seems fair, he thinks as his gaze briefly flickers to her frozen son's body once more. it does not linger long before it drifts back to maegi. she lost two children ( as far as scarab was aware ) and though he knows he can never replace the sons she has lost it doesn't feel right to leave her all the same. but also, he likes it here. no one disturbs his menagerie — or what's left of it, rather — and there was just something about maegi and blackfeather that resonate with him.

yeah, scarab responds. as ...as long as you're okay with it. he adds because it occurs to him amidst the sorrow he feels for her suffering that he might only add as an unwanted reminder of what she's lost. whiskers twitch, following a slight shuffle of his paws against the frost hardening earthen floor of the meadow as he awaits her response.

words: 272

Of course, she responded—perhaps too quickly, but too late to take back. She was overjoyed that he would even consider staying. Maegi knew, however, that she couldn't let his decision stop her from finding out about his family. Even if he would not return to them, he still had a right to know whether they lived and breathed, or were no more.

I can send someone to find out, or I could go on my own, Maegi continued, mentally going over the distance in her head. How long would it take? Two, three, four days? She hoped no longer than a quarter-moon, if things went without a hitch. Would you like to go along, or stay here?

Scarab was in better flesh than he had been upon arrival, but she knew appearances could be deceiving. The Nona wasn't sure whether the boy would be up to such a journey. . .physically or emotionally.

relief washes over scarab as maegi responds positively to his request that regardless of what they find that he can stay in blackfeather. to say that he hadn't feared that she might not want him to stay would be a lie. in lieu of what she's suffered in such a short time he wouldn't have blamed her if he was nothing but a painful reminder of what she's lost and, in truth, there was a part of him that had expected to be rejected; but with the matter of him staying settled the conversation shifts naturally to the 'what's next' phase.

the thought of searching for his missing and potentially dead family sends his heart fluttering in his chest and a small bought of nausea to creep up his throat. he blanches ever-so-slightly, heart rate spiking and dread pooling in his stomach like ice at the thought, still a firm believer that he was only going to find sorrow and disappointment. come on, scarab, he scoffs at himself internally. you can eat the corpses of wolves without blinking an eyelash but you can't even face the fact that you might find the sun and stars of your life dead?

eating the corpses of strangers was a whole different ballpark. he didn't know those wolves and why should he feel remorse for tending to his own survival? it wasn't like they were going to rise from the dead. they didn't need their bodies anymore and what was the sense in wasting perfectly good meat? but coming face to face with the demons of his likely dead family? being told what he feared to be true? that his loved ones were lost to him forever? that terrified scarab.

it takes scarab a long moment to realize he's begun zoning out on maegi and nearly missed what she's said. if — the emphasis he puts on the simple word implies that he thinks its a pretty big 'if'. they are alive they may not believe you or someone else alone. a small, shallow breath is drawn betwixt his lips. one way or another, he has to face this. dead or alive, he has to know. for if what he fears proves to be true then perhaps he can mourn them as he's been avoiding and work on healing. i will go. he decides, whether he was emotionally capable of it or not.

words: 405

His 'if' was like a blow. Not that he'd intended to hurt her in the least, but it hurt all the same. He'd given up hope of finding his family alive; she knew something like that feeling and didn't wish it on anyone, especially a young wolf. His reasoning was sound, and Maegi thought he was very brave for going along. It would be easy to avoid the situation altogether. She wouldn't blame him if he had chosen differently.

Okay, she murmured, giving a brief nod. She inhaled slowly, deeply, through her nostrils, gaze moving toward Sobek's body. We'll leave in a few days. There are. . .things I need to deal with. Decisions I need to make.

Not the very least of which was the future of her pack. Should they stay or should they go? And if the latter. . .where on earth would they go? And who would follow?

Scarab, she thought, the faintest of smiles tugging at her lips. It means a lot to me that you want to stay with us, Maegi breathed, still looking at the corpse. Almost as if she were talking to Sobek and not Scarab. . .but it was Scarab whom she addressed, make no mistake. Even if her mind and heart wandered elsewhere. Thank you. It really does mean a lot.

scarab's ears flutter back to rest at half mast atop the proud crown of his skull once more as maegi responds to him, saying that it will be a few days. he understands. hell, he understood if she needed a few weeks. her son did just die, after all. take all the time you need, he assures her softly. in truth, he wasn't in that large of a rush, still reserving himself to the belief that they will find nothing but sorrow and disappointment. it wasn't as if he had any proof to believe otherwise. he wasn't going anywhere and he didn't want her to rush her grieving process for him.

'course, he murmurs, thinking that staying is the least he could do to repay the favor he owes her though it hardly feels like enough for saving his life. i'll ...give you some space now. he announces, noting that her gaze has gone back to her son's corpse. if you need me just call for me. he tells her softly before turning and leaving her to her mourning.

words: 184

For how young he was, Scarab was quite thoughtful. Maegi suddenly wanted him to stay, to not leave her alone with the dead. . .but she realized it was probably uncomfortable for him here, and she didn't want to move. She nodded, wordlessly murmuring her thanks and watching his dark gold figure retreat.

Retreat, but not depart. He would stay here with them, and she was grateful for that.

She sighed, pressing her muzzle into the space between Sobek's scrawny shoulders. Death, he smelled of death, but there were vestiges of his scent still remaining and she would absorb it while she still could.

She wasn't sure if she could bear to see him rot.