Hideaway Strath I wonder why I'm so afraid

Arlette had scented a familiar scent in the Saints. One she couldn't place. Someone from her past, it had to be. So the female, curious by nature, went to follow the scent. She wondered where she knew it from. It was one of those things that were at the tip of her tongue but she couldn't place it. It had been a while since she last scented it. The female was quick to find a stronger spot and continued, pondering.

The female then spotted a brown-colored male. She gave him a good look and then had her heart skip a beat. Shit. Charles?! What was he doing here? Had Easthollow found her here? Oh no. "@Charles?," she called out and then stepped closer, her tail a bit stiff. She looked a bit worried, not for her family's sake but for her own. The last thing she wanted was to be found.

Charles, too, was looking to avoid his old life. He just wanted a fresh start, somewhere where nobody knew his face. He'd recognised a scent as well (if he'd been keen enough, two) but decided to rest in obliviousness rather than think too hard on it. If you pretended it didn't exist, it couldn't get to you, right?

He would've been happy to let it stay that way; but when he heard a voice that wasn't exactly familiar to him to accompany that faint scent of recognition in the air, he knew he hadn't run far enough. The coywolf's hackles pricked as he turned around. He recognised her face, though he wasn't sure if they'd ever met in person. Honestly, the only wolves that Charles really remembered from Easthollow were his mother, his brother, Leta, Valette and Kaito. This face was one he felt he must've seen in a crowd once or twice, but he didn't even remember if they ever interacted.

His on end hackles were accompanied by a startled expression. Eventually Charles found his tongue and said, Who are you? A blunt wariness in his voice, as his own fears lay in a similar direction as hers.

Arlette was quite surprised that she wasn't recognized. She eyed over him, as if maybe something happened to him. "You're Charles right? Laurel's son?," she quested. The female kept her posture tense, just like Charles it seemed. She eyed over him, perhaps he wasn't going to run back to Easthollow. "I'm Arlette, Valette's Daughter. But I don't want her to know I am here," she spoke with a bit of a warning.

"By the looks of it, you don't want them to know either," she stated, trying to make assumptions. Or perhaps he hit his head and had forgotten his time at Easthollow. That would be really convenient.

Charles froze when she called his name, but mostly the accompanying title. He'd hoped to never be addressed as Laurel's son again. He didn't consider himself her son, he just wanted nothing to do with her. Life free from his mother was great and he didn't want her to find him, though he doubted she cared enough to come after him. It seemed to him that she must be very happy that he was gone, too, since she had always shouted at him and chewed him out.

She introduced herself as Arlette. The name vaguely rang a bell, same as her appearance did, but he didn't remember her precisely. He remembered Valette, though. He imagined Arlette must have left for similar reasons as he, but he couldn't bring himself to ask her the important questions. Were you tired of getting beat up, too? Or Did you have the courage to leave by yourself, or did your best friend have to drag you out to make you see there were better lives out there? He couldn't, and he wasn't sure he would ever be able to utter those kind of words.

The coywolf swallowed and shook his head. Yeah — No, I'm not gonna go back, too. He came back a bit from his initial state of bewilderment. So many questions were running through his head, such as what had tipped the scales to make her leave, but he just couldn't bring himself to ask them. Afraid he'd be too intrusive, or afraid he'd hit the right mark, or perhaps afraid that she'd ask him the same question. So instead he just grinned with faux confidence and said, Fuck that place, am I right? This sort of charming confidence had always worked on soft, squishy Leta, and he hoped that the same could be said for another one of Valette's daughters. He could sure use a friend out here.

Arlette sounded a sigh of relief when the male admitted that he wasn't going to go back. Perfect, someone that wouldn't rat out her location. She was not ready to return to Greyback and her mother. She probably wouldn't be in awhile. Especially since she would have to leave soon before her pups came. She quickly nodded. "Yeah," she agreed with him. "You found a good home here,
" she promised.

"Let's just start over. We never knew each other after all. I'm Arlette. I am the medic here, together with Vein and Aerin. Though the latter is more a midwife," she clarified. She was curious what made him leave Easthollow but that she would ask another day and definitely another time. "If you have any questions about the pack I might be able to answer them for you."

His confident disposition seemed to do well and Charles nodded when Arlette said that he'd found a good home here. Nice. Yeah, fuck 'em. Moms, am I right? he said with a roll of his eyes. He didn't know the gritty details, but he knew what moms were like. Leta had been pretty pristine looking, so he didn't think that those scars were from Valette, right? He couldn't imagine. Besides, moms tended to leave much deeper scars than just those of the flesh.

Then Arlette suggested starting over, and introduced herself again. Charles hoped that some day, he could look at Arlette and not think of Leta every time. It wasn't that the two were identical by a long shot, but there were enough things that reminded him of her there.

I'm Charles, he said, feeling kind of dumb introducing himself when mere moments ago, Arlette had said his name. The fastest stick finder you could find ever. He grinned at that, hoping that it would be a trait that would appeal to Arlette like it had to Leta. They weren't little children anymore, of course, but well... It was all he had, really. Straws to grasp on.

When she finished talking, there was one question that had been burning in the back of Charles' mind ever since he had run into Arlette here again. Those wounds — did they do that? he asked, a slight quiver in his voice. He wasn't sure if it would be a bad thing or a good thing. The problem was that his body longed for physical punishment and pain, but his mind and soul were afraid of it and wanted to stay away from it, always leaving Charles in a wicked limbo.

Arlette nodded in agreement. "I hope I won't be as terrible as my own mother," she frowned. The female shook her head, not wanting to think about her mother or Greyback. They had let her down, it felt good to be away from them. Perhaps eventually she would visit Easthollow but wouldn't return. She liked the saints, and they were her new family now.

Arlette raised her brows. "Sticks? What usage do they have?," she asked curiously. "Can you find herbs quickly as well?," she asked curiously. That would perhaps come in handy if she ever needed to find something quick.

Arlette was surprised he asked about her wounds. 'It was the cougar attack, about a year ago. Perhaps less than a year. The one that killed Nanook and my past mate Kaito," she spoke. "I would have been killed if it wasn't for Nanook," she admitted.

Charles could not help but think, me too, as Arlette said she hoped she wouldn't be as awful as her own mother. Yeah, mothers are the worst, Charles said with a roll of his eyes. Oh, he remembered so vividly the many lessons in respect his own mother had given him. He was never going back there. He had enough scars to remind himself of that. He genuinely hoped that Arlette'd be a better mom, but honestly, he felt a bit sorry for her. She thought she could do better but wasn't the whole point about being a mom that you became, well, a mom?

He hesitated to ask her about fathers. She had a father, right? She must know a thing or two about what it was like to have one of those, and what they were like. Would give him a bit of a head's up maybe.

The coywolf felt a little hurt when Arlette asked what uses sticks had, and then asked if he could find herbs. Charles swallowed away his fears of looking like a total idiot. Fake it til you make it, Charlie-boy. Are you kidding me? he said with a quirk of his eyebrow, as if she'd asked a really dumb question. Sticks are great! You can chew on them, they keep your teeth clean, you can teach pups how to hunt, you can play with them. You guys do do fun around here, right? He grinned, half-jokingly and half-trying-to-be-charming. He just really needed a win right now, and he really needed at least one wolf in this pack who thought he was a cool dude.

As for herbs, weeeell... Maybe if I know what they look like I can find herbs also, Charles said with a shrug. He'd never really tried. He didn't know what they were useful for.

Charles froze when Arlette mentioned the cougar attack and.. Kaito. He hadn't been close to many wolves in Easthollow, but Kaito was an exception. Charles swallowed thickly, clearly caught off-guard (even though he should've been relieved that it wasn't the Saints who'd done it). He swallowed dryly.

Kaito...

However sad, he was the closest that Charles had had to a father (and a real parent at all).

Charles didn't want to be reminded of him, but now he always would. He didn't even know that Arlette had been his mate. Oh. That's... Rough. A lot. Pretty bad. Pretty a lot. Charles swallowed again. Kaito was my— What, exactly? — friend. Not really. But he didn't know what else to say. It wasn't like they'd been close. But there were a few eventful meetings in Easthollow where Kaito was the only rock in a stormy sea for Charles. That meant a lot to him.

Arlette raised her brows. when Charles argued that sticks were great. His confidence in them were really interesting. She was inclined to believe him right away. After all, he made quite the arguments. "Sticks are handy for broken bones and making a splint. But you made an interesting point. I haven't played in a really long time," she commented thoughtfully. She had been too busy trying to make herself useful to the pack.

"I can teach you what to look for, if you like that," the female offered to him. The mood seemed to shift when Charles realized he knew Kaito as well. He didn't know that the two were familiar with each other, or had met. But she was glad that Charles thought fondly of him. It did her well. He had been a really good guy. "It was a lot," she agreed. "So after that I really didn't want to be there anymore. The scars are a reminder. First it was painful, but now I try remember the good times with him," she admitted. "He was a really good friend."

Thankfully she seemed to come round on the sticks thing and Charles grinned. Of course she'd find some medicky use for them somewhere. Honestly, playing was mostly something that was important to Charles for two reasons. One was that it was pretty easy to just let go and have fun, and it kept him distracted from the fact that he had pretty little applicable skills. Secondly, he hadn't had a lot of fun in his youth. And when he did have it, with Leta or on his own, then it was like this way to let go of all the misery and pain around him. It didn't matter that he was a child who wasn't even loved by his mom. It just mattered what was happening right then and there, in the moment.

Yeah, sure, Charles said when Arlette offered to teach him what to look for. He didn't really like learning new stuff (because he usually was bad at it and it reminded him of how little useful stuff he could do) but he found it hard to turn down anyone's offers for it. That'd just emphasise how little he could do, too. Who knew, maybe it would teach him a thing or two. Maybe he could provide something, at least, for this pack, instead of being a total scavenger.

So, Kaito, huh? Charles didn't realise how many unresolved daddy issues he had around Kaito until just now. Honestly, Kaito wasn't even someone that'd been in Charles' life like, super much. But he had been there in a few crucial moments when his mother had not been. Just thinking about him was confusing as heck. Charles didn't know half of what Kaito had meant to him. Yeah, uh, I guess that's for the best, he said a little off-handedly. He almost asked if Arlette wanted to share some of her favourite memories of Kaito, but then he shut his mouth instead and looked away, afraid to be vulnerable.

Instead, after an uncomfortable stretch of silence, Charles said: How do you think we can prevent to be like our mothers? He wasn't sure if Nyra would be — well, if it caught — but if it did, then how did they prevent becoming the same way? Shit, it was a lot to think about.

Arlette was pretty much convinced that Charles would help her with searching for herbs. She didn't think the male might not really want to look for herbs with her. She felt that he was a trustworthy man.

Since the topic shifted to Kaito, and parents again, Arlette went to sit down. She slowly nodded to Charles. Also thinking that this was the best way of doing things. Then he asked a more interesting question though. How they would not become like their mothers. She thought it was a good question.

"I think, reflecting on what we didn't like, what hurt us, that we don't do that to the children we might have in the future," Arlette was not so close with Charles that she would tell him she was currently pregnant. "So we might not do what our parents did or didn't do," she spoke.

Charles wasn't really sure what 'reflecting' was, but he was too aware of what a dumb question it would be to ask about it. So he nodded at Arlette when she said it. He was not so sure it was that easy, though.

You make it sound a lot easier than it is, he said with a good-natured roll of his eyes accompanied by a light-hearted smile. We can always try, though. I could always come hit you up the head if you mess up. Charles grinned at Arlette. They were not very close, perhaps, but it was easier for Charles to be negative about the qualities of others to hide how rubbish he was at everything himself. It was his way of saying 'hey, you're cool', even if it was a toxic quality to have. Possibly one of those he should indeed reflect on.

Arlette smiled when the other said that and rolled his eyes fondly. "Well that is how you start with it, I think," she chuckled. She then grinned when he said he would help her if she wanton the wrong. "I like that. I think we should. I could do the same for you if you come a parent," she chuckled to him in return. Though she doubted she would become a parent this year, she was not aware of what happened between him and Nyra though.

"I'm glad you joined the Saints. Hopefully you will feel as much at home as I do here," she told him.

There was something nice about the way she accepted him hitting her in the face if she messed up parenting. He wasn't too sure about the returned offer, though. Charles was afraid that he would mess up, but he wasn't quite ready to actually improve any of that. He just wanted it to be fixed magically, by itself, if he could help it. Certainly not by anyone telling him that he was doing wrong. Just thinking about it all made him want to turn tail and run away, since that was what he was best at.

Instead of actually facing these fears, Charles confidently grinned and he said, Nah, won't be needed, princess. I will do great. He said it so confidently that it was clearly some sort of joke, not a serious statement at the very least.

As Arlette said she was happy that he joined the Saints, Charles couldn't help but feel a little warm inside. Could Arlette really be a replacement for Leta? Could they be best friends, like he'd been with Leta? He knew rationally that she wasn't the same wolf, of course, but there were enough familial traits in there — the kindness, for starters — that made something in his heart grow hope. Yeah, me too. It's good to have a friend here. So far a lot of it had been rather gloomy, after all — the skulls by the entrance, some of the wolves' demeanours — so it was good to have someone he knew. A friend. He hoped to see on her face whether she felt the same way.

will wrap this up here!

Arlette chuckled. This Charles was clearly a very confident guy. The female did lift her own chin a bit, gaining from his confidence. "Well, if you do something wrong I will do it anyhow," she warned him playfully. Her tail was wagging. It seemed she had made a friend out of Charles, pleased to have it be this way. She wouldn't have liked to hate him just because he was in Easthollow and came to fetch her or something.

"I agree,' she smiled with a nod. She realized she had made many friends here ever since she joined. More than she had in Easthollow, but that was probably also because here the wolves were more her age. She continued to chat with Charles until she decided to continue her day.

- fin -