Blackfeather Woods birth spite

backdated to april 4th

exactly a year ago, ogres emerged from the lake.

from the edges of the woods, racharra stares at her natal home. it glimmers under spring sun even from the darkness she's hidden herself in. but it's not her home anymore.
when the nebet turns her head around, even through the forest the mesa's dissent loomed over. she's run away from her real home; the palace. and for what? for a husband who'll love me! —of course... while she remembers the path taken to moontide, she already has detoured from it.

unsatisfied, dark fur joins dark grass with a grunt.

During Dwin's first stint out in the big, wide world, she had faced many unforeseen obstacles and one of them had been loneliness. Despite being a very independent spirit from early puppyhood all the way up to the adolescence and into the adulthood, she had not realized, how much she had grown used to being around people. Now, however, she no longer found the prospect of being alone scary. Quite the contrary - she enjoyed the calm, the uninterrupted flow of thoughts and occasionally no thoughts at all. 

Even though she knew that she would eventually leave Brecheliant for good, she did not want to rush in to this life-changing decision just yet. Therefore she decided to take smaller steps to find out, what she wanted to do and what she was actually comfortable engaging in. So - she took many day-trips outside her home, exploring the surroundings, collecting information and learning the possible options. This she had been doing now too, when on a path that led past the Blackfeather foods she nearly missed and collided with a dark-furred wolf. 

"Hey," Dwin greeted the she-wolf, who, upon close, was cloaked in Akashingo's scent. "Hunting for the ghosts, mhm?"

nearly trampled on by a stranger, but finally allowed to rip her gaze from the lake. racharra shoots up with a gasp — its more a grunt actually. but for just a brief yet wild moment, she bore her tusks. but the pale figure poses only a question, so racharra plays it off as a sneeze after a huff from her nose.

i'm so sorry, i didn't see you.. the dark body straightens and the nebet clears her throat. this stranger smells of grasslands and other wolves, though who she belongs to is a mystery to racharra. i'm sorry. she repeats, particularly embarrassed. another akashingo wolf catching her off guard is fine, but a stranger — someone from another pack especially — is dishonorable to the red palace's glory. ah, but. she's already trampled all over that when she decided to leave today, hasn't she?

the stranger's question. no. but i wish.. it'd be less disappointing.

"Sorry for what - me not seeing you and almost running you over?" Dwin asked, tilting her head to the side, looking amused. It was not every day you got an apology for a nearly wrong-doing. She let out a chuckle, thinking, how times and customs must have changed over winter and that there would be quite a lot of catching up to do afterwards.

"That's a sentiment you do not hear every day," she agreed, not quite understanding, what the girl had meant by it. "You are from Akashingo, right?" she asked. "What's your name? Mine's Dwin - I am from the next best pack in the area Brecheliant. I and my sister attended a wedding organized by you a while ago," she told. 

sorry for being on the floor before you nearly trampled me.. she huffs with a glimpse of a smile, her shoulders relaxing just for a moment.

i am from akashingo, yes.. not exactly, but it's what she'd have preferred it if she had the luxury of choice. her head tilts to the side, threatening to topple her over back onto the forest floor.
dwin does not ring a bell, but brecheliant does if only vaguely. the wedding is a blur — all the nebet can recall is the radiance of the Pharoah as she rose to her rightful throne. it would not surprise her, then, if everyone from the wilds came to the wedding and coronation to witness toula.

we're allies, right? the nebet hums. my name is racharra.

"Is it a custom in Akashingo? Apologizing for circumstances that are entirely out of your control?" Dwin still found it hilarious that she should be on the receiving end of apologies. "In theory - yes. There is some old beef about a girl of ours that married a prince of yours and then had a change of heart. But that's the allure of my enchanted forest. You can take a faerie out of it, but you cannot take the forest out of the faerie. She'll always return," she told in a brief moment of linguistic eloquence. 

"Racharra - quite a scratchy name for a person that looks more like a sorceress of the shadows," she grinned. "So, ghost hunting is not on the list of things you want to do. What else could possibly bring you out here?" she asked. 

no, it was a mistake. she refrains from apologizing again, unsure to be amused or annoyed with dwin. despite the fact that the brecheliant wolf is just narrowly grazing racharra's nerves, her tone remains leveled.

i didn't know any of that. of your forest fae marrying one of our desert princes. she only vaguely knew of the pack, but when she was first taught it, all of those frivolous politics went one ear and out the other. now the curious part of her wished she'd paid just a tiny bit more attention to see if such a thing was spoke of.

you'd be surprised.. no, i come to look for a husband actually — funny that you mentioned marriage. though she doubts the marriage between the forest faery and the prince was arranged. perhaps it was true love.. like a fairytale. how lovely (sarcastic). do you know if they're still together?

"Well, I do not know much past that either, until I decided to attend that wedding of yours. My mom told me this and specifically warned not to get into any marital arrangements with the desert folk," only after saying this, she realized that her openness was not exactly diplomatic. "But I figure she would have given me the same warning, no matter, which wedding I attended," she added, laughing, as if implying that Maia was distrustful of men outside Brecheliant. 

"I do not think they are. I mean, that metaphor about faeries and forests may mean that she was very unhappy with the marriage in the end. So - if she left and it was the best decision for her, I do not think that any form of reconciliation happened. Stories are like that, you know. They tend to stop right, where the most realistic part is about to begin," she told.

"Well, if you want to find a husband, I know that my sister's mother-in-law is an expert husband finder," she joked, referring to Kukutux. "In fact, she happens to run a cult of matchmakers," yet another un-diplomatic remark, but today Dwin felt she had to let that devil inside her speak out. "She married my sister and I hear that the old white hag has the magic and the skill to bring people together. Should stop by there. Moonglow, I think the name is called. All the way up north," she beckoned in the general direction of the lands. 

dwin's frankness is, while surprising, a bit refreshing from the layers each word that seeps from others shes spoken to is veiled in. each word sometimes carrying a doublemeaning. shes learned to understand and even wield that tongue, but theres brevity in the uncomplicated language of woman before her.

mmn.. she nods along to dwin — a younger racharra would've scoffed at the cynicism. i wonder, then. how many of those fairytales became tragedy, and how many remained pure.

i am to go to moontide first, but moonglow is on my next stop. i'll see to it then to find this magical matchmaker. what would this seer find in the nebet? but magic or not, this moonglow woman was a heathen in the eyes of Ra. racharra would still see to it, but take her words more as guidance than fate.
perhaps she just has a keen eye for who would pair best with who. i'm not sure how well it would for an outsider such as myself, but it'll be useful to have i suppose..

"I have always wondered, why do fairy-tales never tell about strong, independent women, who do not need a validation from a man to be awesome," Dwin replied. In way from a very early age this had formed her worldview on, how things were supposed to be. And had it not been for the last year, when she had really tried to fit that mould of, what she had thought society expected from her, she would have never doubted it. Now, however, she gradually got used to the idea that she was outside the norm. An oddity in a world of normal people. It was easy to think that she did not care, it was harder to truly feel that way too. 

"Out of curiousity - why do you want to get married?" she asked. "Is it because someone told you or you really, really want it or is it a custom? What is the appeal in partnership?'

it's wiser to convince them they can't from girlhood. of course, it not that she couldn't be strong or independent or live without the need of a man. but she'd given up her birthright to the lake, and akashingo couldn't just have a noblewoman lying around when she could be contributing to the palace through numbers.
but she's sure that a nobleman could get away with it.

i decided to get married. i thought it was best. she huffed, careful to not convict the red palace. she can complain about being strung along to the moon villages all she wants and feeling the weight of choice for all lords and ladies that'll come after her. but in the end, she reaped what she sowed. i always had the option, just now i'm not sure anymore.

This was not, what Dwin had been taught as a child, but an overwhelming majority had featured male protagonists doing heroic deeds. Fun fact, she had not really been aware that many of the heroes had been males, because the common tongue of the Teekons had this wonderful feature, where the gender of the person was not always obvious from names alone. So, it had been much later in life, when Dwin had been told that, for example, Heracles or Taliesin had been of male gender. 

"But, what is that you seek in marriage that you cannot achieve on your own?" she asked. "Children is a different topic, but what else? The world is a big place, full of opportunities after all," she added.

love. it was for love.
but childish whims aren't enough to carry a dynasty.

ah, for many.. personal.. reasons.. but for one, it's the most efficient way to secure an allyship with another kingdom.

she nods affirmitively. the world is a big place. it's full of danger, too. that's why we find strength in others.

if the world is so big, why then does it feel so lonely?

"When that falls apart - what then? Marriage for most people is a lifelong commitment. Especially, if it is a political one," Dwin pointed out. She could not say that this was from her own experience, but Maia had been very good at telling tales of times, when this had not worked out in the past. She had taught her daughters and sons to stand on their own feet and not rely too much on promises of others. Dwin, who had forgotten a lot of other valuable life lessons, had taken this particular one very seriously. 

"That's true. A strong family pack to support you is always an asset," Dwin agreed. "But then I think that you have to learn to stand on your own feet as well. Many things may happen and the ones you relied on may not be there to help you," she told. "But - don't mind my ponderings and unwanted advices - the path of life is just as personal choice. I am looking to find strength in being solo. So that, when I return to my birth-pack I can be even stronger than, when I left it," she offered. 

this dwin aasks a lot of questions. too many, actually. 

then another will be found. if it falls through, it's my fault for choosing a weak man.

it's impossible to find strength in one's self only. if the wilderness doesn't kill you, then your own mind would. if racharra had been completely alone, without the gods, without even the presence of other wolves, she isn't sure where she would be. probably not having this conversation.

..but that's what i believe. i'm sure you would be fine. but not everyone can; very few can stand on their own for very long. her shoulders loosen. somehow, they'd stood so on edge this entire conversation.

Dwin began to laugh and shook her head at the mention of being at fault for someone else being weak in spirit and mind. "Well, I have never been married myself, but I am very sure that you can not take responsibility for someone else's life and their choices. I mean, spirit is the same as a limb. If you lose it or you do not have it to begin with, no amount of love and dedication and work and whatnot will make it appear," maybe it was not the best analogy, but that would have to do for now. 

"By the same logic - if you do not have strength in yourself, how on Earth you are going to find it elsewhere?" but - as the girl had pointed out correctly, everyone had their opinions and beliefs. Her life experience had taught her to view life this way. Dwin was inclined to feel pity, but she then levelled this out by thinking that her ideas were in no way superior. They were, what they were. 

"What do you consider a strong man?" she asked, realizing that she was asking just one personal question too many over the course of this conversation, but it was not really the private life of the other girl she was interested in. Rather - curious to learn, what others thought of life. 

she shifts to avoid the surprise she would've been hit with after dwin laughs. briefly, her brow furrows, but she's careful not to protest too much.
it's my responsibility to choose wisely, not his. if she truly had a choice, anyways. ..i can't be careless with which suitor i decide to marry. but it's useless to explain. what does dwin have on the line? certainly not as much as herself.

but the questions do not stop. they pile on, increasing in difficulty, to the point racharra wonders if this is a test from the other.
in love. an exasperated answer. its in love i'll.. you can find strength. would you be able to go on if you didn't know you had at least one who loves you to return to?

i don't know what a strong man is. emotionally strong, i mean. but i do know that i could care less if he's built like a tree or a twig.

Dwin had a lot of issue with "I have to choose wisely" thing, but she did not say anything, because it was very likely that Racharra had more experience with people than Dwin had had. She simply did not have that much trust in her own judgement being unbiased. Far too often she like many others lived with the idea of who the other people were or should be, but she could not really know for sure. Well... in rare instances Dwin believed that she had been right. For example, the guy, whose name she could not recall, had been attractive as hell and she had enjoyed pulling his leg and flirting with him. But she knew he was not the family-kind material, nor someone you could partner up with. His best quality had been his blunt honesty and the fact that neither needed or expected anything from one another. Dwin was not so sure that she would not fall prey to someone, whot was deeply flawed, but conjured a mask of being The One.

"I approach this from a different angle. My mom taught me that you have to love yourself first, before you can love someone else," again - as her narrator has repeated this many times before - whenever Dwin quoted a grain of wisdom that she could not trace back to the original source, it was placed in the "my mom said..." list. "So from that logic, if I appreciate myself, I do not need validation in someone else's eyes. I am complete on my own as well," she explained. 

"But that's different for everyone, of course. All kinds of good come out of people marrying. I would not be standing here and talking to you had my mom decided to skip the children and family-life and continue travelling and adventuring. She gave up one life path for me and my siblings and I will be forever grateful to her for that," she smiled and it was clear that she was very, very fond of her mother. 

politics and marriage go hand in hand. love is not born from either, though, and that's where racharra begins to stumble.
she doesn't have the luxury like dwin to take time and marry solely for love, or never marry at all and just enjoy the company of many. the freedom to find love in and rely on oneself does not exist in empire.
you and i were raised in different worlds, then.
dwin's mother is a guiding force, perhaps a comfort for the dispersal. racharra and her siblings were a part of her mother's path and goals from the beginning. perhaps when she first bled, perhaps even before.
and yet.
racharra couldn't return dwin's smile. stone faced, she breaks her gaze to look up the lake.

children would also come after her marriage. it had never been stated directly, always implied, to racharra. there would still be plenty of time before that but time moves quickly when it isn't being watched. would she be able to? would her children one day speak of her as kindly as dwin? or..

i am sure i'll be blessed with good fortune after my marriage. relief included. now is just the hurdles that come with finding the one for me.

"That's true - very likely so," Dwin agreed with a laugh. "But where would all the entertainment in the world would be if we all were raised the same," she grinned. The girl wanted to add something along the lines of living a life without expecting anything from anyone, but she sensed that it might not apply to Racharra as much as it did for her. If marriage was her only option in life to forge happiness and have meaning, then who was she to argue. 

"In that case I wish you all the best luck in finding that husband and having that happiness and even more," she told her instead. It felt good to wish someone success and she made a note to say it to people more often. It cost you nothing, but was very rewarding. "It was nice meeting and talking to you, but now I have to be on my way," she told, getting to her feet and stretching. 

"I hope we meet again some time. You will tell me all about your married life and I will hopefully be alive to tell you colourful stories about my adventures away from home," she finished with a kind smile.