Redsand Canyon viriliter

Germanicus was, in many ways, like the Pharaoh. His face was stricter and his emotions were craftily concealed, but most of his words were pleasing to those he spoke to, convincing. Crowfeather wished he could understand what his safety mattered to the man. He had spoken with care. The shadow wished that Germanicus would stop confusing him. These nice things, these moments were only fleeting. 

He left you. Crippled and alone - he left you and made a family, a home. Even after all his promises, he kept none of them. Spite washed through him again. He wished he did not feel that way. It was embarrassing and childish. Crowfeather could not help the jealous anger that had made room in his heart in Germanicus’ absence. Days had been spent waiting for the older man’s return… and yet, Crowfeather wondered how long he could have waited in Akashingo before Germanicus remembered his promises. How many moons would have passed if he had not traveled to the canyon on his own? 

It… it would probably be worse to stay here than in Pharaoh’s kingdom. I would not be a good guest. I could not look at Ruenna. Something curbed the burn inside of him. Disassociation passed over him. Emotion removed. He gazed at Germanicus with indifference. Your children would disgust me. 

Regret filled him seconds after the words had left. He wanted to cry, but he only felt that Germanicus would see him and think he was weak, useless. All he wanted was for that man to love him. 

I will travel east. Without you…