Moonspear the smallest steps bring about the most lasting change.

The idea that he’d needed space too did break her heart a little. She’d always wondered, always worried, but she’d also seen the closeness Towhee and Phox had and hoped maybe that was just the way things were and could be. Maybe he really could want to be with her, like that, and have the other things he wanted. It was a stupid hope.

Penn made you travel with him? She asked rhetorically, pulling away a little. She’d had no one, hit rock bottom and then sank below it, and all she’d wanted was a friend who would stay. She’d run out on Fig… she had no excuses there. But Penn had shown no interest in her company, and even though he had explained why, it cut deeper knowing he’d invited Fig but hadn’t bothered with her.

She didn’t want to make this about her. Maybe she’d needed to be destroyed to this point, and do most of the damage herself, to figure out how to be a decent fucking person. But it was hard, and her voice was quiet as she responded. She tried to sound genuine, and the words were true, but all she felt right now was loss.

I’m glad, that you’re happier now. At least, he seemed it. I thought you just didn’t want to talk to me, and since you didn’t come with them, you weren’t coming at all. I figured I’d fucked up enough times that we were done, and you were just making excuses to dad as to why. She swallowed, but she couldn’t summon a smile. She just kept picturing him and Penn, out there together, growing and helping each other while she tried as hard as she could to pull herself together with only her mom and Killer to help. It hadn’t been the same, and if she was honest, it hadn’t been enough.