Blackfeather Woods into the living sea of waking dreams,

aw but @Maegi especially <3

the girl that still lurked within relmyna, though she knew not the child's name, was a bony thing with frightened eyes. this the evoker had learned during her scrying, and she had learned also that within the trance, seeking the word of the dark ones, she did not suffer the plague of headaches normally experienced when she attempted to access her memories.
yet, for this boon had she been granted another malady; a horrible tossing to the earth, wherein she writhed and trembled beyond her own control, teeth clenched and lips flecked with foam. relmyna knew it had happened only once, but she feared that the specter would return for her.
blackfeather woods had not recovered after its attack; their members had dwindled, and the one wolf she knew to be true had gone away, bleeding, accompanied by his two sons. relmyna did not mourn his departure, but withdrawn further than before, even from Maegi, whom she had grown to adore.
on this morning, however, the evoker stared down at herself in the frozen surface of a puddle, and knew she had changed. and within her, the girl stirred and whispered she was to be a mother again. again?
and in looking, she noticed her body had become more pronounced, softer, a delicacy where before there had been only angles.

She had resigned herself to the collar. After days, it hadn't gone away, and she knew it to be a burden she alone could bear. She moved around quite often, hoping to ignore the weight of it on her neck, occupying herself with simple, mindless tasks instead. Gathering medicine. Praying.

In the absence of her brothers, she spent a lot of time with Kove and Nyx, the two Apaatas, drinking in any wisdom they gave her. The Melonii felt more comfortable with the Apataas, after all, more so than any member of her own family (save her brothers, and Miraak, rest his soul). But there was one wolf that she did miss, and that was Relmyna, the mute priestess. The woman had been scarce as of late, and one day, Maegi made up her mind to find her, to continue to try to learn from her.

Nose lowered, she searched high and low for the scent until she finally, after hours of searching, came across the woman gazing into a puddle. With a low whine escaping her lips, she drew close, her crippled gait creating an uneven beat on the frozen ground as she walked. A smile played across her muzzle; she was delighted to find the woman again.

"I've been looking for you," Maegi remarked casually, peering at Relmyna from the other side of the puddle. "You didn't come with us to the Bypass."

relmyna heard the irregular tread of the girl before she heard maegi's voice, but it was with her features touched in relief that she lifted her head to regard the young priestess. the bypass — relmyna rolled her shoulders and patted the ground with a light tap of her forepaw. she had gone under the earth for a time, eating whatever scarce meals could be killed or raided from caches in the tunnels beneath blackfeather, and a sly smile lit the she-wolf's muzzle.
it faded as she caught sight of what was around maegi's neck; relmyna crept closer and extended herself to nose in the child's direction, if allowed, taking the object's measure through scent. the spiderling did not seem as if she were in pain, which soothed the she-wolf somewhat.
they were alone, the both of them — maegi had lost her father and brothers, and relmyna the only other she trusted aside from maegi. the evoker sighed, smiling sadly at the girl who had found independence far too early. but — an answer. and relmyna rocked back on her haunches to reveal the budding curves of her belly, peering worriedly at the pup as she waited for what maegi would make of her situation.

The priestess gestured downwards, toward the Web, and Maegi nodded in understanding. The girl hadn't returned underground since emerging; she had hidden, and met up with the adults as they fled. She wondered for a brief instant whether it would have been more sensible to remain with Relmyna.

She wouldn't have seen war, destruction. She wouldn't have seen Miraak die.

Relmyna took in the scent of her collar, smile fading, and Maegi shook her head once the priestess had drawn away again, sighing a little mournfully. "It's okay," she assured the woman, with a timid smile. "It doesn't hurt. It's just. . .there." She paused for a moment, swallowing thickly. "I think it's a punishment of some sort. From the gods. For not going with my brothers." She looked at Relmyna, a hollow expression too old for her childish face. "Is that stupid?  What do you think?"

She kept forgetting Relmyna had no speech. Before she could change her query into more of a statement, the woman had rolled back a little, showing Maegi her stomach. The girl's head tilted to one side, confused. Why. . .

"Is there something wrong?" Maegi asked, her lips drawing into a worried frown. "Are you hurt?"

Potema had nursed them so infrequently that the girl was wholly unfamiliar with the sight of a swollen, pregnant belly.

maegi had aged in the time her brothers and father had been gone; relmyna saw clearly the child still bore the soft lines and silken fur of youth, but the two-colored stare the little spider now carried was grim, searching. relmyna's tattered ears swept to hear what maegi was saying, and quickly she shook her scarred muzzle, emphatic in her disagreement.
the evoker's eyes were warm with affection as she searched for the child's gaze, seeking to impress silently on the somber pup that she had done no wrong; this thing upon her neck was beyond her doing. the gods knew maegi was pious, even in her father's disappearance and potema's unwarranted hatred. the young melonii had not erred from her path, so far as relmyna could see.
the frown that followed the wolfess' revelation surprised relmyna only for a moment. she shook her head with a small smile. lifting a forepaw, the evoker placed it upon the slight rise of her own belly, glancing toward maegi as she did so. after a heartbeat of time, the patchwork woman motioned the spiderling closer, inviting maegi to do the same if she wished.

Relmyna was kindness itself. Her eyes were a warm embrace, expression inviting Maegi into its graceful depths. For the first time in a long time, perhaps since her playtime with Cassiopeia, many moons ago, she felt mother love, and was intoxicated by it. Her heart swelling with an emotion Maegi couldn't quite place, she padded awkwardly to where Relmyna had gestured, and placed her smaller paw atop her stomach.

Movement. With a gasp, she pulled back, staring wide-eyed at the full, white curve, which seemed to. . .pulse slightly. Llike nothing she'd ever seen before. Relmyna herself smelled rich and musky, with an overtone of. . .

Sightless, soundless, clambering in the dark. Blindly yearning for sustenance.

A shudder rippled through her body, standing each one of her hairs on end. The taste of mother's milk, heavy on her tongue. So desperately needed, and so desperately hard to find. She placed her paw once more on Relmyna's stomach and felt the motion, rolling like ripples on the surface of the Glen's pond. And caught that scent again. . .

"I don't understand," Maegi whispered, looking up at Relmyna with something akin to fear in her eyes. "I--are you okay? You. . .you're different. You remind me of--"

Potema. The name hit her like a blow. She recoiled, blinking warily at the woman, waiting for her to explain in whatever way she could.

your post was beautiful <3

relmyna watched maegi's countenance shift beneath the thrall of several emotions. it was strange and yet not that the girl had no immediate conception of pregnancy, and not for the first time did the evoker wonder what dark things had surrounded the spiderling's birth and that of her brothers. it was wariness that decorated the child's face when she raised it back to relmyna; the woman's ears swept forward, and she wondered how else she would explain this to maegi.
leaning forward as much as the hard mound of her belly would allow, relmyna hesitated only a moment before tapping a small forepaw to the girl's shoulder, and then to the rise of her abdomen. child, she sought to convey with the turquoise burn of her eyes.
relmyna could not help the warm smile that curved her lips now; she did not fight the draw that compelled her to look down at her stomach. it was the first such burst of maternal verve she had felt thus far, and her eyes were soft as she glanced again to maegi. it occurred to her that the spiderling would be a sister again, sooner than either of them had expected. that was, if the young priestess would think of them as such.

*insert multiple heart-eyes emojis here*

Her eyes remained wide as Relmyna gave first her a tap, then her stomach. As if trying to draw some connection between the two. Her nose wrinkled as she inhaled, still getting that so familiar and yet so distant scent from the woman. The fleshy mechanism of her brain worked overtime, striving to understand. . .

You with your fucked up paw.

I told them to kill you all.

I hate you.

Her stomach clenched as Potema's words rattled like an endless echo around her head, bouncing off every wall until she squeezed her eyes shut, resisting a guttural scream. Potema! She saw no one but Potema! Though it was Relmyna in front of her, the priestess with the twisted face, she saw only Potema.

Then, silence. Peace. Clarity. As if chaos had given way to order. Sithis overcome by Mephala.

Maegi's mismatched eyes popped open, meeting Relmyna's with a look that could only be described as a turbulent mix of understanding and horror. "You're having pups?" she whispered, voice like shivering glass in the cool air. She placed a paw on her belly once more, this time not shying away from the life that rolled and tossed beneath her pad. "When? How many?"

<3!

relmyna watched the pour of emotion across maegi's little face, and when the girl surfaced with an expression decipherable only by the fear that had reared its head in her own belly, the evoker drew a smile across her features all the same. their upbringing had been awful, relmyna decided in the next moment, that of maegi and her brothers. and now cicero had gone away, and taken the boys from the only home they had known.
relmyna entertained no addled ideas that she could rear both her growing brood and the older trio, but she wished fervently that euron and ramsay would return to the wood — let her try, at any rate. to maegi's questions, her tongueless jaws curved in a smile, and she first nodded, then rolled her shoulders. yes. and i am not sure, relmyna sought to convey, counting back the days — but then there had been the reaper, and — she knew not. the pressure of the girl's paw brought a sharp kick from within her curved abdomen, and the evoker drew a quick breath in response, glancing to maegi in amused surprised.

Maegi gasped in tandem with Relmyna, feeling the kick against the soft belly-skin, stretched tight and thin. A watery smile made its way onto her face, trembling as it flashed between genuine happiness and turbulent jealousy. . .and fear. Fear that upon the litter's birth, Relmyna would turn into Potema and more children would be left abandoned.

With a small whine, the girl withdrew her paw, pacing in a troubled fashion for a few moments before pausing once more to look at Relmyna. A sob stuck in her throat, and she bowed her head, gazing at her paws and affecting great interest in the flexing of her toes.

"Do you love them?" she mumbled, mouth curved deep in a frown. Her eyes darted back up to Relmyna--first her stomach, then her face. That beautiful, ravaged face. "Do you want them?" Maegi asked, in a tone little louder than before.

a smile climbed to maegi's lips, only to be tossed from a grim precipice by trepidation. relmyna's heart broke then; her ragged ears fell back against her small skull as she watched the trajectory of the child she had come to love a great deal, saw upon the little melonii's face the mingling of things she could not say.
do you love them?
the evoker lowered her head, seeking maegi's eyes, the burn of wildfire with the cool of indigo to balance it. 
do you want them?
the child's chin lifted; relmyna held the questioning stare with her own sea-green gaze.
if maegi would allow it; the evoker moved herself forward and reached out to the girl with one slim foreleg, until the young priestess was within the crook of her arm. and here she drew the child forward, until the spiderling was pressed gently against the rounded firmness of her pale stomach; lowering her muzzle, relmyna pressed her torn lips against the small crown. 
yes, came the silent thoughts maegi would not hear. i love them. and i want them. but no more than i love and want you, daughter.

Perhaps one day, she'd look back with distaste of this moment. The presumption of her, to seek love from a mother that was not hers, whose love belonged to the beings within. She would feel disgusted at her moment of weakness, maybe.

But Maegi was young, and desperate for attention, and she accepted Relmyna's embrace with an open heart, closing her eyes as the expectant mother cradled her against her belly. She smelled of warmth, and musk, and milk yet to come. . .and safety. A safety she'd never experienced before.

She did love them, did want them! Oh, did Maegi's heart soar at this! These spiderlings would grow up loved, cared for, accepted, and she wanted to be there for their every step. She wanted so much not only to be their friend, their teacher, but their sister, in nearly every sense of the word.

If only she knew.