Redsand Canyon Each and every breath we take

Germanicus' absence was a factor in why she'd mustered the ability to say anything at all. She didn't know when he'd stepped off but she'd noticed he was gone and appreciated the chance to speak alone. There were things she didn't want widely known.

It was easy to guess they'd be happy to have her, but she never minded hearing it. Especially when she'd given all of them more than enough reasons not to feel that way.

I don't care about rebuilding. I thought I wanted to forget, be someone else for a while, but that isn't fair. Now I just want to be a mom worth having.

She wouldn't be getting another chance anytime soon, obviously. She'd have to be stupid to even consider trusting someone like that again. Maybe one day she'd hit a point where she could do what her mom did, pick a dude and not care if they stuck around, but so far she had done a shit job of getting into that mindset.

I wanted more kids, this year. There was a lot of other stuff, obviously, but that was what did it. He told me I was selfish for wanting that from him, and for wanting him to explain why he acted like he didn't even want me around. Our mateship was fucked from the start though. I should have known when I had to practically force him into it, just to get him to stick around.

She didn't feel any anger, just that same empty calm, as she recounted it. But it did feel good to lay it all out to someone who might understand even a little of how it felt to have your heart broken. She had no idea if Towhee had ever been in love, but she was closer to the experience than Fig had been.

We tried to start a pack. She didn't know that Towhee had heard this. I was going to tell you when it was done. When things were good. Finally, a measure of shame crept in. Her ears tipped back. Sorry. I shouldn't have left it so long. It was the one thing she felt like she needed to apologize for. She owed Killdeer one for leaving and her parents one for avoiding them. She'd just wanted her mom to think she was better than the girl who would struggle through an unhappy mateship because she was so afraid of being left alone.