Moonspear the smallest steps bring about the most lasting change.

No. And I don’t really think I ever will. I’m just trying to get better at being okay with that. Because if what she wanted was a place where her family was around her, and he wasn’t there, then she was going to have to be.

A lot’s changed. She’d changed, not that he would know. And now he never would, really, because visits would never be enough to know. She really needed to not be here.

Sorry, I just… I can’t. Later, okay? She didn’t wait to see if it was, or to see how that affected him, because now it was her turn to need space. It was getting harder to breathe, and she immediately made her way towards the ulaq she’d been working on for the last few days. It was the perfect place to hide.

Everything about this felt familiar in a way that had silently crashed over her and left her sick. It didn’t matter what he used to explain it, emotionally she could only see it as a punishment. Because maybe if he knew how much she’d changed over the past year, he wouldn’t need so much space. But he couldn’t give her the chance to show him. None of them ever did, because none of them ever actually believed she could be better than she was.

It was stupid, it was emotional, it was selfish, and it was incredibly personal. She’d act as if nothing happened later. But right now she needed to process it, and that meant sobbing her heart out in the darkness and trying to stifle the sound best she could.