Blackfeather Woods you are only coming through in waves

The whispers had not ceased.

It was not the daedra, like it had been when she was a child and still believed. They were long dead and gone to her, illusions of her own faults. No, it was all the souls lost to her in one way or another. All whose bones lay beneath the earth here, or whose face she'd last seen within these trees.

you stopped looking

you were not at my deathbed

you watched me die

you killed me

you killed me
YOU KILLED ME—

 And so on.

Her ears flattened, eyes squeezing shut. Nothing helped. She stood in the middle of the garden of roses, over Meldresi's remains, and the restless susurration carried on.

Maegi lifted her muzzle, calling for @Rowan. A decision had been made.

Maegi lingered. And he supposed that...other did too.
He hadn't seen the man since they arrived on his doorstep but knew that the maimed ghosts were knitted together.

He seemed still very alone in the woods.
The birds weren't all the company he wanted now. as a child, it was fine. He still had a pack.
But now...he was rather alone.
Until Maegi's call filled the forest.

He thought he was dreaming for a few moments, looking around absently before continuing his task.
Oh no, wait, she was here, that call was real.
He flicked his ears, trying to remember where the call came from and trotted in that very direction.

His head dipped slightly as he approached her. Not full submission, but respect.
"Are you ok?" She had that look again. Like she did when he was younger. Not fully there...disturbed.

Are you ok?

He came quickly, obediently, to her summons. Almost as if the roles were reversed once more— But this was Rowan's forest now, and she was only a visitor. Passing through. It had to be this way.

Your mother was one of my very first friends, Maegi said, letting the question slip away. The answer was clear enough; she wasn't okay, didn't look okay. But she soon could be again. She came to the pack when I was a child. She watched over my brothers and me when the Redhawks brought war to our borders.

She turned her cheek to the young man, already feeling his gaze singe the twisted, ugly skin there. She saved my life. She fought off the monster that did this to me, allowing me to escape. 

Maegi owed Moonshadow, and always would. And that debt, in her mind, included Rowan and his siblings by default.

You do her proud, the spectre murmured, smiling. You do this forest proud, Rowan. I'm glad you've returned.

Out with it, Maegi. She had never been one to stall the inevitable—but she was feeling sentimental.

His head tilted with perplexion.
Sorrow seemed to radiate from her like solar flares.
What had happened to her brothers? Where was Falling star?
The mention of his mother, though, made him think too. How was she? It wasn't far to visit her but...well. He didn't know if he wanted to anymore.

He kept quiet, letting her talk. Letting her feelings flow.
He glanced around for Titmouse before stepping closer to comfort her as she finished speaking.
"I'll always be here now Maegi." He remembered the first time he met her in that moment, where she taught him how to pronounce her name.
He nuzzled at her long fur. She smelt very different than what she had when he was young. Many different scents lingered on her now.
In truth, it unnerved him.

"We're safe here now."
The Redhawks were far, far away. Past huge mountains. They wouldn't come back when they had a paradise over there. So he thinks.

"I'll always be here now, Maegi."

You say that now, she thought, and remembered a time when she never wanted to leave the forest—not even to accompany her brothers, her dying father. When she had planted her little paws in the soil and refused to leave, because she loved this place so damn much—

"We're safe here now."

No, Maegi blurted, and then shook her head. Sorry. . .no. You're safe here, Rowan, and you belong here. You'll build a home greater than my family ever could have dreamed. But I—

Her throat clenched suddenly, tightly, and a few swallows did nothing to loosen the viselike grip of grief around her throat. I can't stop hearing them, she whispered. I can't stop hearing the voices of the dead. My family. My children.

And anyone and everyone she'd ever let down, alive or not. It was a lengthy list.

I cannot stay here, she told him, unable to meet his gaze dead-on—crippled coward! Mou and I are cursed. We bring nothing but bad luck wherever we go.

All they had was each other. One day, maybe, they'd find a home. They had in Onyx Hollow before it had slipped so quickly from their grasp. 

But she couldn't put their burden upon Rowan. Weighed down by Maegi and Mou, he'd never swim. At best, he'd tread water. More likely, he'd drown.

She looked scared. Wild.
What had happened to her?
"Is it him?" He asked lowly. Was he putting these ideas in her head? Not letting her live in peace? Not letting her stay where she belonged.

He cast another wary gaze about.
Titmouse was a scarred man, and Rowan didn't think he had the ability to speak until he did so.
He was weird. A freak. Rowan didn't like him, and in truth didn't want him in his home.
But it was a compromise he was willing to make for Maegi. Unless she confirmed that he was hurting her...ripping her heart and soul in two.
"I'll protect you Maegi, you're like a mother to me." He looked to her with earnest gold eyes.
She'd taught him so much, and he wanted to keep her safe as repayment.

He pursed his lips before speaking again.
"I'll make offerings for you -- I'll ask Sithis to let you rest safely here..."
Anything. Anything to keep her in a safe place, with him, where he can make sure she was not hurt again.
His heart fluttered with simmering fury. Whoever put her in this turmoil, he would beg, grovel, and fight tooth and claw to keep her here.

It's not—no— she stammered, feeling overwhelmed under his worried stare. She knew Mou made others uneasy, but he was her other half, a chunk of her heart. . .

I'll protect you, Maegi. You're like a mother to me. A sob, then, choked back. Don't say that! she wanted to scream. Not Rowan, not Rowan, too—he'd be taken from her just like every other child—

I'll make offerings. . . I'll ask Sithis

Sithis

Sithis

Sithis

Sithis

Sithis

Sithis

Sithis

Sithis

Sithis

 STOP! Maegi shrieked, and the ravens above them took to the sky in a burst of black feathers. Near-panting, she backed away from her once protege, unable to stop the sibillant Daedric whispering in her mind.

You don't get it! You never will! she spat. You were meant to be born! Your mother wanted you! You are whole, body and mind and soul! 

She angrily scuffed the ground with her crooked paw, sending leaves flying, hissing as pain shot up the limb. Sithis is my father. Do you hear me?! Sithis is my father; Mephala my mother. Or might as well be, anyway! My stupid sick father raped my coldhearted mother and then what? She got us! My brothers and me! Ramsay with his fucked up spine, Euron—

Tee-hee!—

And me! My mother said she hated me, Maegi growled, scowling. Her voice pitched suddenly low. I was a child. And my mother said she hated me. She wanted us dead.

Her eyes burned as she stared at Rowan, the memories of her time in the tunnels rising up like smoke around her. The daedra are my parents' gods. They are the gods of all who have wronged me, of all who I have wronged. I do not claim them, and they do not claim me. And still—still!—I hear them!

I cannot stay here.

Maegi stood above Meldresi's bones. The woman she'd never met. Potema had said the Queen would have hated her, too. Well, good—have at it, decrepit bitch! She ought to have dug up her grandmother and tossed the remains in the creek. 

Damn her. Damn all the Meloniis, all the daedra, and damn this place especially.

I hope you understand. Her voice was devoid of all emotion, now, ringing cold and empty upon the roses.

Something felt wrong.
She was getting hotter, stressed. It was like she was infected with something, twisting in her gut and wrapping around her mind -

He skittered away from her at her shriek, facing her in a crouch with a soft rumble bubbling in his throat.
The fuck? He thought she was better, that she'd left to get better and come back because she was! But here she was still with that wild look in her eyes and spouting all sorts. Not nonsense, but some of it didn't make sense to him. Some of it...did.
His ears flattened, tail tucked. Teeth flashing from under unnerved lips.

Her words...stung. They shouldn't, not by the content, but the way she spoke wrenched at him.
Pulled his heartstrings. He watched her, trying not to glare.
He wasn't doing very well.

I can't stay here.
"Maegi..." He spoke softly. Rising, watching her for any ounce of that fury again.
"I'm sorry." He didn't understand. Never would. He didn't know what to say. How to comfort her.
Obviously, she didn't want to be touched, didn't want the Daedra.
His lips pursed.
"I love you."
Only as he'd love his Mother. Like she'd lost. He just wanted to give that back to her...to make her better.
His earnest eyes waited for her to fly at him with teeth...like Towhee.

In her rage, she didn't see him. She didn't see him until she had quieted down, and noticed his body language, tail tucked, uncertain. She'd lost herself and had lost sight of him as well; this was meant to be a conversation, and she'd turned it into a tirade. One he hadn't deserved to weather.

And yet, he was gracious enough to still reach out.

I love you, Maegi responded, a lump rising in her throat. She didn't deserve him. I'm sorry, Rowan. The demons I've been fighting have nothing to do with you.

She lifted her eyes to the trees, to where the ravens had slowly, one by one, returned. Watching them. I'm so proud of you. I know you can make a home of this place, a better home than any of my family could have imagined. I just—can't be here for you when you do.

Slowly, Maegi stepped toward the young man, her body language now just as submissive. Tail tucked, eyes lowered in the utmost deference to the new keeper of Blackfeather Woods.

Keep your faith, she whispered, placing her nose against his cheek. And always stay true to yourself.

The Melonii left the scene, then, in a loping pale blur through the roses. She would leave not more than three days later, and hoped to never return.

He almost didn't want her to say it.
If he was the cause, perhaps he could too be the cure. But no. He didn't know how to help her.
His heart still beat, but it was a cold, slow thump. Maegi...
He wanted to comfort her like his Mother had done so to him.

"You're always welcome here." He murmured as she came closer. He relaxed, his muscles sighing with relief from being so tense.
He touched his nose to her. He wanted her to be comforted, happy. That weird man better give it to her.
He knew she won't want to come back, but even for a visit. Just so he knows she's alive and as well as she could be.

Soon enough though, Maegi took her leave. He barely got a word of goodbye in before she departed fully. Once again, a missing piece to his puzzle.