Redhawk Caldera burlboar

bridget was gone. this was her fault. this was what she wanted, right? reyes over the cardinal and then bronco over her too. 
isolation.
she busied herself with marking, tear-stained face slowly drying. she looked for his red fur, as if fearing he would come back.
and she skulked off for sorana at some point, though she was completely unsure of what to even say.

Maia, in turn, was annoyed. It wasn’t something she liked being, or was that often, but worry over Ani had turned to annoyance towards the medic. Especially when she decided she wanted to take a vacation right after being sick, further taking time away from being able to take care of Shenanigans. What was she thinking, doing that now?

Maia was hoping whatever was happening would fade with time, but so far it didn’t seem to be. It pierced her to the core to see their daughter struggle with moving so much, and she tried not to catastrophize, but it was so hard not to imagine the worst. How was she going to take care of herself now?

Brecheliant would, of course. As long as Maia was here she wouldn’t want for anything. But what about after?

Maia had been too caught up in her own family, again, to notice anything about situations outside. But when she spotted Teya, Maia immediately knew something was wrong. She was wearing a similar look of dreadful anticipation.

Teya. Is everything okay? She’d been so happy, it seemed, last time she’d seen her. Had something happened with Bronco? Or was it Sorana?

maia.
yes.
teya turned with a swallow and a swipe at her face. "reyes back." her voice was bordered by thorns. "we fight. he come tomorrow, maybe. see sorana. i think she go with bridget."
because?
her throat felt full of sandpaper. 
she fought the next tears with a guttural noise. "not expect him to come back, maia."

Oh, … Maia wasn’t sure what to say, but she looked at Teya with a mix of concern and understanding. She didn’t fully know what the other woman was feeling but that didn’t mean she couldn’t sympathize.

I’m glad he’s okay, but that’s definitely, um… complicated. I think she did. At least, she hasn’t been around the kids since Bridget went. That trip was poorly timed for everyone involved, she thought with a touch of exasperation. Why did it have to be now?

She should be back soon, yeah? Is there anything I can do in the meantime? She shifted uncertainly, tone genuine. Maia would have been more than happy to accept Reyes back, but she also wouldn’t question Teya on how she handled her family. If they fought, and he’d left, then that was that. Or if she’d decided she didn’t want him back, that was also that. With Bronco here, she didn’t blame Teya for wanting a new start, and Sorana could still see her father other ways. Just like Bronco did when he visited his son.

poor maia, trying her hardest to navigate all this! 
teya shook her head. "ah, i — hormonal, i think," she said. fuck.
teya cleared her throat and managed a smile. "seems you always taking care of me, maia," the raven said a little mournfully, falling into step with the auspex. "brecheliant better for your kindness."

Maia sighed and looked at Teya, her worry failing to disappear. She’d obviously said the wrong thing and made her think she needed to explain it, but she definitely didn’t!! It made sense that she would be upset. Maia was the one who didn’t know what the heck to do with it.

No, it’s okay. It might be that, but if it isn’t, I kind of get it. Stuff like that is… it isn’t easy. She thought of Charon suddenly, and how poorly their last meeting had gone. They hadn’t been packmates or had kids together, but it still had destroyed their friendship and left her reeling. She would have done so many things over if she had realized it would be the last time she ever saw him.

It’s better with both of us. I don’t think I could do all of this without you. She smiled, the expression tired but genuine.

Really, though. If you need anything, please ask. Eljay and I are both here for you and for Sorana. I know Bronco is too. She was glad that the two of them seemed to be working out, and that Teya had a guy who was actually willing to be what she needed him to be. No one deserved happiness more than her.

teya knew then and knew now that she must pull away from how insular she had become. reyes had left and she had not leaned on anyone when the rift between she and sorana began, each of them hurting in all ways but the mother-bird steeped in her own selfish blindness.
"sorana need ah, family. everyone. i should have — said how bad it was. with reyes."
how much she had swallowed and forced sorana to do the same when it came to her mother's unavailability. 
ironic now, these regrets springing now. "i not want to admit i missed or loved him."

Maia couldn’t help but feel responsible too as Teya revealed how hard it had been. I should have asked. Or at least not assumed. I’m sorry if it ever seemed like I was pushing you, or wasn’t paying attention. I didn’t realize. She thought back on the way she’d handled some things and cringed with regret. She’d been so optimistic that they would fix things, and that they would find the happiness being parents that she and Eljay had. It still wasn’t easy for her to see how anything could overcome that.

I know… well, I’m not the best at it. But you’re still one of my closest friends. You can tell me anything, anytime, and I promise I won’t even tell Eljay if you don’t want me to. I know he loves you too, but… I’ve had things like that. I know if it’s something too big, it’s hard to want someone else to have to worry about it too. She wasn’t certain if this was the right way to say it, and she felt a little nervous trying. That wasn’t entirely how she wanted to end it.

I think it’s easier. Sharing it. But I don’t know, I still… it’s hard. She laughed self-consciously, apologetically. Here she was, saying this, and she herself barely had room to talk! She always hid with her problems too. But she meant it anyway, and if Teya wanted to try, maybe she could try too.

"you are great friend, maia. i just do not know how to speak." and that was that, one of her fundamental issues, among many.
teya chewed the inside of her lip and sighed, a shuddering sound. "how you know if i say nothing?"
don't blame yourself.
a swallow thrummed in her throat; she reached almost blindly for maia, needing a moment of contact as all the words clammed up behind a mouth that suddenly would not open.

Maia wasn’t sure if Teya’s comment was a statement or an actual question, but she didn’t think her friend would mind her answering it anyway. I don’t mind if you ever just want to tell me how you feel and not give a reason. If that makes sense. Just so I know not to try and keep positive if… well. If it isn’t helpful. She smiled a little ruefully. She knew it wasn’t her fault, but still! She could have asked.

But only if it’s helpful. I haven’t had many friends, so I’m kind of learning as I go. It was nice to admit it, and she was glad that Teya didn’t blame her for not being a better support at the time.

maia? not have many friends?
teya smiled. "i still love reyes. i am scared i mess things up with bronco. and most of all, i bad mother to sorana."
there. all out in the open. all — there. the smile hung, fell, shattered. she arched a brow with a softly self-deprecating laugh.

Now that’s just nonsense. Maia began, and then immediately flushed. Sorry. Not loving Reyes. But Sorana… you love her way too much to be a bad mother.

It wasn’t like she didn’t understand though. Maia had thought herself a bad mother a dozen times over, and every time she felt justified in doing it. She still did, in certain cases. Certainly there were better ones out there.

I get it, though. It’s hard to think you are a good one when they don’t seem to want you to be a mother to them. But letting them feel that way I think is… maybe part of it. And loving them anyway, and doing what you can. It’s hard to remember sometimes what being that age is like. It had been years, after all, and every year they left it further behind.

As far as Bronco goes, I’ve found the best way not to mess things up is to know you both are going to. And then just figure you’ll work it out together. She added finally with a laugh, slightly self-conscious of the flow of words she’d just doused Teya with. Probably not all of it welcome advice.

id like to start them a new one if thats good! <3

but it was, all of it. teya needed someone in her life besides bronco, and she had already alienated bridget a great deal. with her wants and desires centered elsewhere, not in some weird situationship where she played everyone around her despite the true love in her heart, maybe she'd have a shot at it with maia.
"thank you," and she meant it, the truth shimmering in her eyes as they grew wet. "need to hear i am not bad mom," teya mumbled. "bronco and i talk often. it easy to talk to him. good."
but she was suddenly so tired with it all, and looked sheepishly toward maia. "i go to wait for sorana again, i think," she whispered, but offered an embrace to the auspex who had soothed her so.

absolutely!!! <3 feel free to set it before or after the Sorana call, I’m totally flexible on timeline with Maia

She was gratified to see Teya smile under her words and nodded in understanding. Teya initiated the hug and Maia pulled her in firmly, letting it go a moment before pulling back and looking at her warmly.

I’m glad. Things are going to be okay, then. Promise. She didn’t feel uncomfortable making that promise either. As long as Teya and Bronco communicated, everything would work out. Maia was sure of it.

She watched Teya go, then turned to go back to Eljay. She wondered if he might want to walk the borders with her - talk of Bronco and Teya had her wanting his company, and she thought he might like to hear about some of her day.