Chimera Fields misery loves you

tw: death

Life’s been one hell of a roller coaster ever since Caerus was born. There’s been fight after fight, love and loss, danger around every corner. It’s one thing on top of another, on top of another, and so on. An endless loop. From the night he held his new born baby, Cupid would pray for peace.

Peace would come.

Something was different about today. The clouds had parted, the rain had stopped. Everything was silent and still, but not in an ominous way. It’s a ‘take a walk and enjoy the world’ kind of day. A rare treat, especially nowadays.

Cupid peeled away from Neverwinter’s canopy. The morning’s rays lit a path for him. Further down the road he’d go. One hour passed, then another. His mind was so incredibly bare, he did not know how much time had passed until the sunlight kissed the horizon.

Sunset’s nice, he thought aloud. It evoked a warm nostalgic feeling. Childhood memories blossomed in his mind. Oh how he missed the months before Momma became ill.

A soft hum pulls him back to the present. Cupid’s eyes settled on a peculiar structure nestled between the roots of a tree.  A hive, he thought. The memories come flooding back just as soon as they left. He’d only seen one in his lifetime. Momma warned him of the insects that guarded those things. But man oh man, if you’re brave enough to fight against them, a sweet prize was gifted to you. Momma was brave enough to steal the honey for him all those years ago. Cupid wanted to do the same for his own son.

He crept up to the hive and peered into the singular hole. This had to be done as quick and as cleanly as possible if he wanted to end up with the least amount of stings. The bees were sent into a frenzy as soon as he tore a piece of their home. One chunk is enough. Cupid ran as fast as he could, with a group of furious insects flying close behind.

He wasn’t able to escape the onslaught of stings. Each one hurt even more than the last. It’d all stop soon. He was told stinging was a suicide mission for these things. They’d all die off.

Seconds pass, then minutes. The attack had yet to end. It just kept getting worse. The pain forced him to stop, and Cupid’s legs buckled as he screamed in pain. 

These were anything but bees.

Life is slowly drained from his body as the minutes slip by. The last thing he sees is sky’s soft pink hue. The last thought he has is ’I hope my soul goes there.’ 

Cupid wanted to see his son grow, even if he couldn’t be by his side.

Night had started to come earlier now. Maybe it was that or maybe it was the fact that the storms seemed like they were finally running out of steam so they allowed him to see the transition from day to night instead of being this blurry mess that went from grey to black. So Mal had been out for one more patrol before the day would wrap, and finding Cupid's scent heading away from the territory, he went to follow.

The dark figure might have been mistaken for a rock if there wasn't a protrusion that looked suspiciously like an ear breaking the silhouette. Cupid was camping out here, eh? It wasn't too far of a walk back. What are you doing out here? was his bemused question, trotting on over to see. He'd expected a glare, but instead there was nothing. No turn, no stare. Uh. In a moment, the mood changed. The fear, Cupid? He ran over to nudge him, but no response and he was already too cool. The shriek of, NO! that came from him was wild, and he tried again to rouse Cupid from his slumber. 

He thought he had seen Cupid at his worst -- both in anger and in illness -- but no, this was the worst. No answers, no goodbyes. No more bridges to repair. And what about Caerus? What did he tell his son? What was this scene he had found? A torn piece of something that had looked like wood had blown a little farther away that he wasn't sure if it was part of the scene or not. Cupid's face had welts from something but Mal really hadn't run into bees, so hell if he knew what it was. But he couldn't be left out here. It was about the only clear thought he had, so he fumbled and failed but eventually was able to sort of hoist Cupid onto his back and start the trek home. His mind emptied as he trudged, the weight across his shoulders bringing back the pain in the one that wasn't fully healed. It was not fast progress.

Time passed, and then he was inside the borders a handful of yards and he slumped to the ground, Cupid's body falling next to him, both a mess from the world the weather had left. But who did he call for now? How did he explain to Caerus that he had no idea what had happened but that Cupid wouldn't be coming home again? In the pitch darkness, he didn't know. He felt hollow, a failure, and in the end he just stayed there, crawling closer to Cupid and quietly crying into his fur, on the one hand wanting to be found because he'd left his own voice somewhere back in the field and also not because he didn't want to be seen like this. It didn't matter that Cupid might very well have hated him, Mal couldn't return that particular set of feelings.

finín wasn't supposed to be out right now, but alas that's what made it all the more fun! he was like a ninja, managing to sneak out past his slumbering family without them so much as stirring. it was the perfect timing too, the arrival of slinking shadows providing the dusty boy with the perfect coverage to do the sneaky sneaking. he used to find it kind of scary, the dark's velveteen touch. but with time he'd come to like it; finding an odd enjoyment in the way they'd wrap obediently around his figure and hide him from view. they provided a secure alliance, one that made him feel safe. 

but as he traipsed about the drowsy woods, unnaturally quiet in the crepuscule gloom; an odd sound touched delicate ears. he felt his heart begin to speed up, pattering nervously against its bird boned cage in response to this foreign noise sounding only a few lengths away. was it snuffling? what if some beast was sniffing around looking for wolves to eat!! a swallow, maybe he should run back to...no! he was a ninja, he had to be brave plus, he had the shadows to hide him.

puffing out his chest, the boy creeped around thick shrubbery, transitioning eyes wide and searching until-- there! a huge lump on the ground. yet as he hesitated, groggy stare adjusted to the gloom and made out the familiar forms sprawled upon the earth. papa and the funny grumpy wolf he'd protected the den from. the boy lingered hesitantly in the shade, paws kneading the floor anxiously. something was wrong, he wasn't sure exactly what but there was something weird about the way the air pressed on him making him feel uneasy. and then the noise made more sense....was da...crying? actually that made no sense, adults didn't cry! and the other guy...why hadn't he moved at all? he was acting like food!

he was scared now, what if there was something in the woods that had made da cry and it got him! glancing behind him warily, he could swear he seen a shift in the darkness and with a little scream, tore away from it and over to the strange scene before him. utterly spooked, he burrowed quickly into mal's side with a shrill whimper- a rare enough sight since finín had never been overly affectionate with his father, always unsure as to what him being da really meant. wide eyes peered at the figure, feeling a little sick...why did he look like food?? or squishy bugs? "m-monster?" he whispered, staring between the two. "da....monster?!" he repeated, voice rising an octave as fear squeezed tighter. was there a papa monster that brought wolves back to the monster kids for food?? "don't wanna be...food" he gasped, pressing as close to his papa and as far from the food wolf as possible. 

brows furrowed, heart hammering with heated fear and confusion writhing together in one big mess as he looked up at mal and whispered "da..cry?" wordless tears kissed the child's own cheeks, seemingly unnoticed; more of a natural reflex than anything at being subject to such intensely intricate emotion. he never liked anyone to see him cry unless he was very sore.

no!

the sound of grief was all-too familiar, even if it came from some distance away. cam stiffened on his walk through the trees, immediately changing course and breaking into a lope. it was mal's voice, and he wondered what terrible thing had happened now. he burst onto open ground; soon, three figures came into view.

mal and a child, hunkered over an unmoving wolf. 

don't think of mummy don't think of mummy don't think of mummy

his heart hammered in his throat as he approached, nostrils flared, hoping not to catch the smell of blood. mal? he inquired gently, a quaver in his voice. cam folded himself downward, next to the pair, eyes flickering toward the child—so young, too young to see this—before returning to stare at his friend.

there was no need for 'what happened?' it didn't matter. the neverwinter wolf was dead, and grief had begun. all he could do was be here, as much as he wanted so badly to run away. after all, mal had been there for cam in some of his darkest times. it was time to return the favor.

He felt like he couldn't move now. His legs had turned to spaghetti the moment he'd lay down. Why did this happen? Why couldn't things have been different in so very many ways? So many things he'd wanted, small goals, gone. He hadn't noticed Finin's approach at all, too absorbed in the moment, but the yell and the sudden presence of the boy up against him broke him out of that, turning to blink at him blearily.

He had practiced smiling a lot. But now even pretending was hard to do, his voice wavering as he tried to put on a more normal face for his son, What are you doing out here? You should be back with your mom all nice and tucked in and asleep. He tried. No monsters. You're ok. Mal leaned over, turning to nuzzle Finin, keeping him close. He was torn -- comfort his son, focus on him, versus staying near Cupid and worrying about his eldest son. Oh god he was dreading that whole conversation. He didn't even know what to say to Finin -- it would all be so scary, wouldn't it? He wished he hadn't been crying, that he'd heard the boy coming -- My friend, he -- He was having issues finishing the sentence, but that was when a voice cut in, 'Mal?'

Cam had just showed up and there he was, he'd missed the approach entirely, but then again the world beyond a few feet didn't matter too much to Mal right now, He-- he needs to get home. I need to find Caerus. Did Cam have any answers? Did could he help? He needed to get Finin home, see if he could clean up Cupid a little, find Caerus -- he couldn't think much beyond that. He looked back to Cupid, trying to smooth out some of his fur a moment before looking back to Finin. He still couldn't move.

She had learned over the weeks since returning that keeping her distance from everyone was easiest. Of course, there were times when that wasn't possible, and she did what needed to be done. But most her time was spent alone, patrolling or hunting or anything else to distract her from everything she was avoiding. 

So when she caught the scent of packmates near the borders just ahead, she almost turned and started going the other way. But there was something off about the group of scents; it was too off to ignore, so she continued forward, slowing once she approached the gathering. Her eyes found Cupid first and widened in horror. He was covered in angry, red welts and very much dead. Her gaze lifted to Cam briefly before finding Mal. She could tell he had been crying even if he was trying to hide it from his son. Had they been together when Mal found Cupid? That had to be traumatizing for the child; he was too young for this.  

She wanted to move to Mal and offer him comfort, but the thought of touching someone else was still too much for her. She took a hesitant step forward but paused, obviously conflicted. Eventually she settled on quietly asking: Mal, what do you need me to do? It was all she could offer. How could she help in this awful moment. She hated seeing him hurt.

Evening was setting in. With it, Caerus roamed. 

He was already past the borders when some commotion of noise caught his attention, chocolate ear canting in one direction as he curiously made his way over. Unfortunate that Caerus was in a good mood today, too. Both of his fathers were home and he hadn't dealt much with the smaller brats lately, and sometimes he was learning cool new things from his parents- hunting with Mal, healing with Cupid. But today would require a sort of healing he hadn't been taught. A healing for himself. 

At first he saw Mal and Simmik's backs, and then Cam, and then a lip curled when he saw the little boy. Was the commotion just playing with the new kid? He couldn't stand it. No matter how Mal gave him attention, jealousy always reared its ugly head within Caerus. Why did they get to have siblings their own age? Why did Aibreann's kids get all the friends? Sure, he could be friends with them, but in youth a few months made all the difference. To the boy, they were still just drooling babies who couldn't form a sentence. And yet he wished that even in that age he could've had same-age playmates. It wasn't fair. 

But life was never fair, Caerus would come to find. He'd be fighting it from this night forward, but life would always find a way to make him feel secure and then pull the carpet out from under him. 

Plenty of kids had it worse out there, but Caerus didn't know that. All he knew right now was that he was ready to get the hell out of here. And then all he knew was the breeze that came to him with the scent of something rotten, and the turning of his head that followed curiously. It was then that ruby gaze trailed to their paws where something laid in a little lump from the ground, something that looked like a couple of stones- it was harder to see as the sun was setting. 

What was...? 

Caerus made his way closer now, basically shoving his way through the people to see whatever it was that had their interest so piqued. 

It was everything to him. It was his protector. It was his father, the man who had raised them, the man who'd taught him half of everything he knew. 

At first that didn't register at all. It took a moment. Who was this poor wolf? Caerus' gaze trailed up to that face- grotesquely swollen with the stings of something, and Caerus thought bees, from when Cupid had told him stories.

Cupid. 

It all came crashing down on him, glass shattered as his eyes widened with recognition. What was Dad doing looking like this?! Caerus didn't want him going into a coma again. He'd missed out on enough time with Dad then. Caerus' gaze flickered back to his other dad momentarily, but he didn't say a word, only blinked with some shock before he looked back down to Cupid. The scent filled his nostrils, but he couldn't register it right now, instead threw himself towards Cupid to kinda nudge his shoulder, his cheek, wherever with his muzzle. Relentlessly he would try to awaken him, starting with calm whispers of his title until whines found their way into his throat, and he was crying dad, dad! dad, wake up!! c'mon!! 

He began to sniffle and hyperventilate, breaths coming in shorter gasps as he crumpled to his knees before Cupid and sobbed uncontrollably, an icy pain tightening in the center of his chest.

sorry for holding this up! miryam if cam decides to bring him home feel free to pp nudging him along, he's in a bit of shock rn so he'll go quietly!

ears fluttered back as a small frown pressed his features, the fear of being reprimanded which had been shoved to the backseat by this dismaying display suddenly lurching forth at his papa's enquiry. he really wanted to be brave but right now, there was nothing he wished for more than to be tucked in at mama's side and needle teeth pinched at his trembling lip as the gutter of his stare fell to minute paws. no monster, he's okay...but, brows furrowed as wide eyes grasped back for the focus of his papa- why??? "but--" a flustered exhale as paws shuffled, confusion tempting his gaze to approach the slumped figure and yet the jittery slam of his heart against the tremble of his chest refusing to let him subject it to more fear as he instead remained pinpointed on the uncanny sheen of his pa's haggard stare. 

a soft sigh as he was embraced, body seeming to fold and liquify into the comforting heat of familiarity, almost enough to block out the chilled wrongness that probed at him from behind where the den intruder wolf lay. 

he was not brave, he was scared....like a baby...not like a mama or a papa...but, wasn't papa scared? adults didnt get scared of monsters but he said no monsters so...was there something worse that made even adults scared? quick breaths as he burrowed further in, he didn't understand!! his head and his chest were so sore he....he just wanted to go home he'd never sneak out again!! teeth clenched- he didn't wanna be an adult he didn't wanna be an adult, he'd never ever try again he promised, he didn't want to be food he really didn't! 

he blinks groggily, hesitantly drawing back just enough to stare frantically at da as he spoke- all the while the clamour of his mind going forth to wonder, what if papa became food because he was an adult?? or mama?? "food?" he suggested softly upon the lack of a conclusion to the words to prowl about the tremble of velveteen ears "da" he whispered "not food...please" a word he was constantly being scolded for forgetting, but if you said it you got what you wanted yes? "da please not food" and then, looking at the flecks of water to sit smug upon his da's cheek; the boy leaned forward with a small swallow. he was scared, but if papa was too and still helped him then he could too, and it always helped when mama did this for him when he cried....not that that happened a whole lot or anything. his nose pressed to each damp spot, tenderly nudging where each tear had settled and blinked with surprise at the warmth. if water was so cold, why was this warm? wondering if knowing this might help make him feel better, finín murmured a quietly informative "warm pa" before offering a tiny lick to the spot just like mama did after nosing them away. "better?" he huffs nervously, the weight of the situation despite not being aware of the exact details of how dire it was enough to leave him so very on edge in everything he did. but he had da and da had him, so he nuzzled close to him and scrunched eyes shut to pretend.

eyes only peeked out again at the arrival of others, heart writhing and wailing its conflict when he heard papa ask the shadow wolf to bring him home, he really wanted mama but he was scared to go back out there without papa....looking apprehensively at the leering shadows gathering to watch and definitely becoming darker as time marched on. 

he didn't look at cupid again, not even once, not even when his older brother arrived and sobbed and lamented; the foreign nature of such piercing wailing driving him closer against mal. all he could do was stare at those grinning shadows that he thought were his friends, exhaustingly numb in the face of their ability to do something that both put the dark man on the ground and made papa cry. he wanted to go home.

Finin shall be shepherded off by Cam who is now PPCS, it has been spoken!

And then Finin! Mal wasn't quite putting two and two together on the food angle -- food and death were two very different concepts to him, especially right now. But here was his little son licking away tears and that was almost too much right there. He took in a sharp breath, trying to stop from crying again, a slight nod, voice wavering, Thank you. Pause, breath, You really should be home with your mom. Be safe and warm, and I'll see you all later on, okay? He nuzzled the boy's head again. To Simmik and Cam he looked between them again, Please--? He didn't get to finish repeating what he said when Caerus crashed onto the scene.

Mal had lost focus on the shadow that was Cam moving forward to collect Finin, Mal's blurry world now hyper-focused on Caerus. No, no, this wasn't supposed to be how it happened either. Plan shot, Caerus! It was said in a rather an anguished way, unsurprisingly. Where before he'd sort of had a direction, now he just wanted to hold both his sons. He didn't budge an inch from where he was laying at Cupid's side, reaching out with a paw to try to tug Caerus closer -- it wasn't like it would pull him away from Cupid, just get him within reach so he could hold his eldest son, to change Mal's desire to bury his face in Cupid's fur to that of Caerus. I don't know what happened -- I found him -- his throat tightening, words just running out there as Mal tried to not start crying again until Finin was far enough away to maybe be out of earshot.

He didn't know what to do.