Sawtooth Spire Wanna believe, wanna believe that you don't have a bad bone in your body

Backdated to approximately June 11th. Could be all welcome or a read only depending if anyone wants it or not!

Frantically scouring the rendezvous site and surrounding forest had turned up no traces of Thade, so Wylla expanded her search, and spent the better part of two days combing every inch of Sagtannet's inner territory. She couldn't spend great lengths of time searching for her young son at once, much as she wanted to, because she also had a daughter who needed her now more than ever. She checked in frequently on Phaedra, keen to stave off any feelings of inadequacy the girl might suffer in her absence. She agonized every minute that she wasn't out there searching for her boy, but she wouldn't—she couldn't—abandon Phaedra in her time of greatest need.

She'd already lost one parent. At least, Wylla was now certain that Phaedra felt that way. She couldn't be the cause of more hurt in her girl's life, even if it meant being unable to search for Thade as thoroughly as she wanted. She had to trust that Mahler would make the effort on her behalf, although that was difficult for her to do. Her trust was paper thin these days.

Phaedra was with Stag today, freeing Wylla up to search higher on the mountain, where the stone was icy underfoot and snow persisted even in the warmth of June. The Eisen surged up the slopes, nose tilted into the breeze, hungry for any hint of Thade's scent. She didn't believe the boy was strong enough to make this kind of climb yet, but perhaps it was a discredit to him to assume he couldn't. He could've gone anywhere... his scent in the forest had simply disappeared, and she hadn't found a trace of him elsewhere. Who was to say he hadn't fled up into the mountains? She had no other leads, and he wasn't anywhere within the valley.

Several hours later found Wylla on a flat shelf of rock near the summit, breathing hard and whipping her head around frantically. Nothing. No sign of him. Not even fresh paw prints to suggest anyone had come up here recently. The small Eisen collapsed on the rock, exhausted, and struggled against the self-loathing that threatened to consume her. She'd always been excellent at being alone—not an introvert by choice, but by necessity—but now loneliness rose up and quietly strangled her.

Damn her for opening her heart to a man.

Damn her for letting him ever touch her.

Damn her for trusting him to be a good father to her children.

Damn her for not being enough for Thade—whom she was sure had run away from home, even though none of the evidence added up to that conclusion. She descended the mountain, mired in her thoughts. Her boy had always been more closed off with his emotions, seemingly okay in spite of his father's distance, but how could that be possible when Phaedra was so deeply affected? Maybe it had been a quiet, festering wound rather than Phaedra's open and bleeding one. Maybe Wylla had taken for granted that Thade was okay, when really, he was hurting just as much... and not getting nearly as much of her attention to soothe his hurts. Maybe that was why he was gone.

It's his fault, her inner voice hissed, determined to keep up her confidence. It's his fault for not caring enough about them. Boys need their fathers and he's been a terrible one.

It's your fault for letting him do this to them.

Before she knew it, she was back at the rendezvous. Unseeing, Wylla slumped beside a tree, buried her face in her arms, and wept.