Moonspear Picture a place where it all doesn't hurt

It’s not protecting me. It’s protecting himself. She leaned over, slowly, until she felt their shoulders touch. She wanted the contact and was starting to trust that Penn might just let her have it.

It hurts me twice over, because not only is he leaving, he’s assuming I’m not mature enough to hear why. And so he leaves me feeling like I’m the one chasing him away, because what other option is there? And how do we fix what’s broken if he can’t tell me? How do I fit in his life at all if I don’t know why I don’t fit now? Her voice shook a little on that last statement.

While she was being honest…

You did the same thing, with your kids. I didn’t know why you didn’t want me traveling with you. All I knew was that you didn’t want me. Apparently Fig got the invite I wanted instead. She snorted a little, and it helped to break some of the seriousness of the moment. She’d been a little upset to hear it at the time, but there was only humor in her voice now. This thing with Fig was so much bigger.

I get it now, but it hurt then. It felt like no one wanted me around, right when I felt like I couldn’t handle being alone. Even Fig, she felt, would be better off. It hurt too to be confirmed right on that, but an old ache.

So she’d gone home… to Towhee. And even though her mom went to Epoch, she’d never been made to feel like that was her fault. Despite her upset, it felt good to finally find the words for it. She wanted Penn to understand her too.