Ankyra Sound know that you shall die like whores

He isn't.  The disagreement was almost inaudible, more a breath than a statement, but in it she could feel the out of control momentum that had been her existence these last few months careening towards a disasterous stop.  He was not fit to lead, but he was not wrong.

She'd thought at one time nothing could shake them, but here they'd been tested and fallen apart like loose sand.  She thought he was her confidant... that she would ever take his word over her own.  Even with her own self loathing, she had the wherewithall left to be wounded by that, and it showed clearly as she drew back.  I challenged him because I did not trust him, and rather than fight me he gave me a place.  It was stupid, but it was not for him.  Her voice was sharp with hurt, and while she knew a lot of it was misdirected, she couldn't temper it.  It would have been a question.  It was never a decision.  And it was a question she'd determined she didn't need to ask, because she'd known her answer the instant she came to see Caiaphas that day.  

I run.  It's all I've ever done, and it's all I know.  But I stayed for you.  This wasn't my decision, and it wasn't what I wanted.  You are the only reason I'm here.  She and Raleska... aside from them, she had no friends in this pack, and despite a growing dislike and a heavy restlessness on her chest, she knew she couldn't leave.  Not until her wife decided she'd had enough, and that she no longer needed her.  This place seemed to suit her in a way that even perhaps Ironsea hadn't... and with a growing ache she wondered if perhaps she simply wasn't going to be able to keep up.  She was struggling to keep her head above the water, but there was at least some small comfort in knowing you were drowning alone.