Blackbeak Bluff hit the floor hard, i was never picked

The distance between Masquerade and Redtail Rise didn’t just give her perspective, it clobbered her upside the head with it. First came the gut-wrenching homesickness, intense regret hot on its heels. What had she been thinking? No rank or title was worth this agony. Dread and horror soon took over, when Masque realized she might not be able to rectify this awful mistake.

Besides that, she was often cold, hungry or both. She and @Riley managed to feed themselves but there wasn’t an entire pack of Ulfrs behind them now. They were limited to what they could catch or scavenge. And no matter how tightly she curled against her mate at night, the cold seeped all the way down to the marrow of her bones. Between that and the new crop of nightmares, she barely slept.

Snow cascaded gently from a gloomy winter sky as Masquerade left a sleeping Riley and picked her way to the nearby cliffs. She stared miserably at the choppy water beating against the rocks directly below before her marigold eyes cast out to the bleak horizon.

What had started as a grand adventure was gradually fizzling into a derailed trainwreck. Riley had wanted this to be fun -- but as the days stretched into nights, he noticed Masquerade run the gamut of emotions. First she was homesick -- which was understandable -- but then she was full of regrets, and horror, and eventually, just cold and tired.

This was the life Riley remembered before Masquerade took him in. It was like the difference between a cold and rainy winter day, and a sunny summer one: the sunlight was eclipsed by interminable and cheerless grey.

He tried to cheer her up, but he was a terrible conversationalist. He wanted to say things would work out and that it would be okay - but the worry brewing behind Masque's eyes worried him in turn.

Hey. Riley approached, giving his mate a gentle nuzzle as she gave a thousand yard stare out into the rowdy waters. Do you fancy a walk down the beach? I think I smelled something. Did you notice the water level changes by the hour? So weird.

Masquerade didn’t know how long she stood there, lost in her thoughts, but when Riley sidled up alongside her, she realized her legs were very tired. She swallowed a sigh as she returned her mate’s nuzzle. A moment later, she plopped unceremoniously onto her haunches.

No, she replied, then clarified, as in, no, I hadn’t noticed about the water. She paused, brow furrowing. I won’t say no to a walk though. I just need a few minutes.

Masque hadn’t looked at him directly yet, though she did now, her expression apologetic. She’d told him she might be messy these first few days, yet the strength of her emotions had still caught them both off guard. Riley was the one and only reason she didn’t tuck tail and run right back to the rise.

I’m still feeling… she said, not bothering to bite back the sigh this time as she jerked a foreleg. After a deep breath, she continued, I keep telling myself I knew this might happen and I just need to ride it out. It’s just hard.

Masque listed sideways, slumping slightly into Riley’s shoulder.

Masquerade slid to her haunches, the thousand-yard stare still looking anywhere but at him. A knot of worry found its way into Riley's throat.

She sighed, offering an apologetic look. Riley tried for a reassuring smile. This was all new to her - and, she had bucked a lot of long-standing ideals about herself to get here. She didn't need to apologize - not to him.

She slumped against his shoulder. Riley butted her gently with his head. It's okay. We'll ride it out, together. Maybe you'll end up liking it so much, we'll have yearly Hunty-moons. He raked his teeth gently through her ruff, waiting for her to be ready for that walk -- as long as it took.

She smiled faintly at his reassurances. Masque knew her mate quite well by now; she knew that he would go back to the rise if she just said the word. But she held her tongue. She hadn’t uprooted both of their lives just to fold at the very first obstacle. That would be a disservice to everyone involved, including all the Redtails they’d left behind.

Did I ever tell you that I thought about claiming Dragon’s Back Ridge? I had it in mind for Mul at first, then later on I thought of taking it for myself. I thought about it a lot right before we left, actually, Masque admitted, but I pictured that conversation going poorly too. Redd opposed the idea of Mountain Boulder and New Snow starting a splinter pack in the maple forest, so…

None of this mattered now. She lapsed into silence, still leaning into Riley’s warmth as she closed her eyes momentarily. Masque had spent so much time inside her head lately. She was over it. It was time to clear her mind, starting with that walk her mate had suggested.

Okay, she said on an exhale, I’m ready for that walk, Mr Redtail.

Riley pulled his teeth gently through Masque’s fur as she waded the deep and complex waters of her emotions. If he had a family he’d loved, he knew it would be the same for him — if anything, his life was easier for having left them behind. He wished, sometimes, that Masque had that luxury — but he knew that would change a fundamental part of her, a part he loved very much.

Well, I don’t see it moving any time soon. He offered, trying to stay positive. He still felt that the wrong things were rewarded in the Rise sometimes, and it hardly sat well with him that often it was Masque that missed out. Who knows? Since there is a trend for insurrection every other month, maybe you will get that splinter pack after all. Or New Snow and Mountain Boulder, Riley thought to himself.

She was ready. He got up as she released a firm breath into the wind. Walking helps me think, sometimes. By not thinking at all. He extended a shoulder towards her, waiting for her move. That’s why you have enough brains for the two of us, Mrs. Redtail. Riley smiled, for it felt just right to say.

Despite how much she adored Riley, Masquerade rankled a little at his cavalier comment about insurrections. He wasn’t wrong, though, was he? Masque sighed, then suddenly wondered if her departure had made any difference. Had it made the turbulence worse? The scarier notion, for her, was that her absence might’ve actually made things better back home.

Swallowing an enormous lump in her throat, she nodded dumbly at Riley’s continued talk of a walk. Masque shot him a wobbly smile when he returned the pet name. She didn’t think she was any smarter than her mate. Just because she tended to overthink so much didn’t mean anything. She sighed through her nose.

When she eventually broke her silence, she asked, Where exactly are we headed?

Riley couldn't read minds, but after hundreds of miles spent in Masque's company, he knew a missed shot when he saw it. He got the sense he'd said something wrong. While silence wrapped its heavy arms around them, he categorically went back through each thing he'd said, realizing with a plummet of his stomach he'd accidentally probed a sore spot.

Masque's half-hearted smile was only slightly encouraging. Riley felt he was fumbling. How about somewhere there is good food? He began to walk, turning back to Masque with a gentle sway of his tail. I already got the view, soooo....

She didn’t feel remotely hungry, though she didn’t want to say no to Riley, particularly not on their “hunty-moon.” Masque was too distracted to make sense of his comment about the view, so she only tilted her head and gave him a politely quizzical smile.

We can do whatever you want. As long as we’re together, I really don’t care what we do, she said to him, her delivery coming out flat and sour rather than sweet like she intended.

Masque winced, wishing she could stop being such a drag. Her tail drooped. Riley deserved better. She just hoped he could hang in there until she could process all these feelings, overcome them.

We can wrap this one soon in favor of fresher ones if you like, especially since she is being

lets <3

Put out by his fumbling, and further discouraged by the leaden way Masque spoke, Riley paused and for a while, inspected the heavy lines marking Masque’s face.

And then, in silent apology and show of solidarity, he pressed his forehead to her cheek and drew his muzzle along the ridge of her chin, downward, his tail gently wagging between his hocks. He felt the same; it didn’t matter what or where they went, as long as they had one another.

For Riley, that would only ever be enough.